Hello! I do not own the Avengers (though I wish I did), blah blah blah.

These are the THIRTY RULES OF HOW TO HANDLE THE HULK

Do not startle, poke, burn, shoot, explode, molest, rob or stab Bruce. As this will make him very angry (as it would most people).

Do not attack the Hulk when the Hulk is Hulked. It just makes him Hulkier and more likely to Hulk everything around him like the moody little Hulk he is.

Do not force Bruce to listen to bands like My Chemical Romance or Breaking Benjamin. While they are amazing bands, they get him a little too excited and the prospect of him Hulking out becomes far too likely.

Do not mention "Thunderbot" Ross.

Do not steal Bruce's Socks

Don't try to seduce the Hulk, as he will happily oblige and it will just be awkward.

Do not try to make the Hulk a transvestite

Don't insult Bruce's cooking

You may have to put up with a lot of Radiohead, Mumford and Sons and Gotye. While they are good bands, when on repeat it just gets annoying.

Do not dress up as Betty Ross

Don't force Bruce to dress up as Stitch with Tony (Lilo)

Don't use the Hulk as a means of shade on Sunny days

Bruce likes having his head stroked

Bruce likes sitting under tables.

The Hulk likes Tony, use Tony to calm him down.

The Hulk will happily kidnap the Avengers and jump up and down carrying them.

Bruce loves his Science Bro, Tony

Bruce claims that he can play guitar – do not let him!

He also claims that he can draw – don't let him draw you if you don't want to be offended.

Bruce loves the Legend of Zelda

Bruce loves cosplaying with his Science Bro (as long as he gets to chose the costumes)

The Hulk does not care for Asguardians as he was captured by Ammora the enchantress and the Executioner (The Incredible Hulk #102). Do not use Thor to calm him down!

Bruce loves socks – buy him socks.

Gummy worms make Bruce feel sick after he was forced to spend a whole weekend by Tony eating nothing but them.

Bruce wants kids, but is worried that his DNA will kill them or mutate them

Bruce does not like talking about his past.

Though he will happily talk about the fake bomb he planted as a child

Bruce is a major Fanboy and easily becomes obsessed with things

Bruce is bisexual

The Hulk is like a toddler