Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. J.K. Rowling created it all, and no money is being made from this work of fan fiction.
AN: I have no beta, and all mistakes are mine. This is an entry for the "Different Genres" competition in the "Parody/Humor" category on HPFC. It is also an entry for the "Halloween Daily Prompt" challenge (9-27-13-easy) and the "Halloween Pumpkin" challenge on the HPFC. This drabble is set post-DH, and it is AU with a marriage between Percy Weasley and Kingsley Shacklebolt. This is my first attempt at writing humor, and there is blatant humor here as well as not so obvious innuendo at the end.
"I really don't think orange is your color, Percy." Kingsley tried valiantly not to laugh as he walked into the kitchen of his manor to find his husband attempting to carve a large pumpkin sitting on the counter. "Did you lose a duel to the pumpkin? Or is that supposed to be your costume for the Ministry's ball next week?"
Percy shot his husband a death glare from beneath the mess of pumpkin flesh and seeds that covered him. It spattered his bare arms that were exposed by the rolled-up sleeves of his shirt, dotted his face, and mixed randomly with his red hair in a color combination that was definitely not appealing. Wiping ineffectually at his face with a filthy hand as he set down the carving knife, Percy sighed in exasperation.
"For your information, I am attempting to carve this pumpkin! You were the one who said that you wanted to win the Ministry's pumpkin carving contest this year! The judges will check it for magic to make sure no one breaks the rules so I have been trying to do it the muggle way. I spent enough years watching my father manage it; you'd think I could do the same." Frowning at the mess on the table, Percy grumbled. "Clearly, the pumpkin does not agree."
His husband was frustrated, red-faced, and covered with orange pumpkin innards. Kingsley thought that Percy made the funniest and most adorable sight that he had ever seen. He fought his laughter down again, and he thought that he had finally managed to smother it completely. That was until Percy stuck his tongue out at the pumpkin like a six-year-old and brandished his wand at it as if he were contemplating casting the Killing Curse at the pumpkin.
Kingsley's laughter earned him a face full of orange mess for his trouble. But after Percy made sure that he was as covered in pumpkin as Percy was, Kingsley discovered that pumpkin made everything taste better…absolutely everything.