spartan117qz pointed out something in a review, saying that I could post the plot line I had planned for Massages in a chapter, so that's exactly what I'm doing. I'll also list the edits I planned on making to the story.
My priority was changing Cardin's threats. I wont go into incredible detail about why that got written, but I want to make it clear that I am very ashamed of doing that. I can see how it was an awful decision, and if I could go back to when I wrote the chapter and slap my younger self across the face, I would. I actually wrote out how I would have changed this bit, and I felt it was appropriate that I include it.
"What do want, C-Cardin!?" Jaune stammered out, trying to ignore the pain in his back.
"From you? Nothing." Cardin said, a dark sneer playing across his face. "Well, that isn't completely true," he said, handing a paper to Russel and pointing at an open locker beside them.
Dove started, realizing that it was his locker being pointed at. "But Cardin, that's my-"
"Shut up!" Cardin shouted. Dove shrank away, but did not argue as Russel began punching in coordinates into the keypad.
"You see, Jauney boy, i've got a problem." Cardin said, "Those girls you've been havin' fun with? I know that I can't beat 'em one-on-one."
Jaune would have said something, quite possibly a snide remark, but before he could even open his mouth Cardin roughly shoved him into the locker.
But see, the thing is, I don't need to," Cardin boasted, "Rumors of what you've been doing with them have been circulating around for ages now, if someone were to step up and...what's the word? Validate them, then those girls would be in a great deal of trouble. See, I had a look through the Beacon rule book-"
"You mean I had a look through the rules…" Dove muttered, but Cardin ignored him.
"You wanna know what I found?" He said. Not giving Jaune a chance to respond, he continued on with, "anyone found engaging in sexual activity on school grounds is either suspended for the rest of the semester, or expelled, depending on a couple other circumstances."
Jaune's heart stopped.
"Y-you have no proof" Jaune said, cursing his stutter.
"Do you think Ozpin would be willing to take that chance?" he sneered, "The rumors have spread everywhere, and believe me, I know many people who are very willing to support my claim over yours."
Russel stepped back, crumpling up the paper and grinning evilly at Jaune as Cardin slammed the locker door shut.
"Besides, who would believe a punk who forged his transcripts like you? Doesn't matter anyways, you'll be halfway across Vale by the time I get to Ozpins office."
Jaunes shout was cut off by the sound of the engines roaring to life beneath him.
If he didn't do something, Cardin was going to have the girls expelled! Sure, some people would have trouble believing that Weiss or Yang would s-sleep with him, but even then, if Cardin convinced them, it wouldn't matter anymore. They'd be expelled! Their futures ruined!
Jaune stared at his hands, feeling anger bubble up to the surface of his mind. He vaguely registered the white glow as he felt the Locker lift off the ground.
Through the slit in the locker, he could see Cardin about to leave the room, laughing cruelly at what he was about to do.
Something in Jaune snapped, and everyone in the surrounding area felt it.
A fist, wreathed in white flames punched the door of it's hinges. Russel whirled around just in time to feel the full force of Jaune's anger strike him in the form of a sheet of accelerated metal.
Bringing his legs up, Jaune planted his legs against the back of the locker and pushed.
Like the very rocket he had just left, Jaune slammed into Sky shoulder-first and, planting his feet and spinning to conserve his momentum, just like he had learned in Professor Isaac's class, Jaune crushed his fist into Cardin's armor, denting the family heirloom and throwing Cardin back against the wall.
Dove, the only one remaining who had yet to feel Jaune's anger looked up at him, fear splayed across his face as he stumbled backwards.
"GO" Jaune roared, watching as Dove sprinted away.
Then, everything went dark.
So yeah, that's how I wanted it to go. No rape threats, Cardin's acknowledgment that the girls are better than him, all that jazz.
That's the main edit I was planning on, along with some minor corrections of errors I missed last time.
Now we get to the plot.
-Ruby is shot, Yang explodes at Jaune
-Jaune goes out to find the twins in order to 'make things right' (read: make up to Yang)
-Coordinates with Sun to locate the spa the twins are going to next, as they are quite vain and desire to keep up a good image. Jaune infiltrates with Sun's help after obtaining a disguise. Dyed brown hair, hazel contacts, glasses, new clothes, etc.
-Infiltrates and Massages one of the girls, manipulating her into speaking freely of their plans by pretending to be working with them and using the fact that his Massage makes her mind hazy to get away with it. Essentially she's too caught up in the Massage to think clearly about what he's saying.
-Gets knocked out by the other twin.
-Wakes up tied to a table as the twins go through his stuff, stays silent so as to not alert them to his consciousness. Goes through a period of self-deprecation for getting caught. 'Why can't I do anything right!? Why am I such a failure!?'
-Remembers the passage he was reading about in the library concerning aura constructs. Decides he has no other option but to try it.
-Fails several times, almost giving up, but the twins assertation that they will soon be able to plant a bug on Jaune to learn about Beacon and hurt his friends angers him. His anger makes him try again, and he barely succeeds, knocking both of them unconscious, taking his stuff and an downloading information from the computer they were on into a drive he was given by Sun.
-Returns to the group with the drive, having called for a ship while he had adequate signal above-ground.
-Chapter ends with Yang not quite forgiving him for what his mistake, but admitting that she understands it was a mistake.
I couldn't decide if I should include a Cinder chapter or not, but an interesting idea concerning her.
Basically, Cinder somehow comes into contact with the girls and ends up berating them, claiming that they feel no real affection for Jaune, only an appreciation for his hands and that they should stop pretending to love him. This conversation sparks several moments of introspection as they all individually decide that, while there is truth to Cinder's words, there is also more to Jaune than just his Massages.
The story ends on a high note with no real pairing and no defined future, but the girls making efforts to get to know Jaune better, and not just to try and claim his skills in Massages for their own enjoyment.
Another reviewer, l3largus, pointed out that the user Mjnousak wrote his own version of Massages (Which you all should check out, because what I saw looked pretty good and he actually researched how Massages work, unlike me. All jokes aside, I recommend hopping over to his story and checking it out, it's pretty sweet.). In his most recent chapter, Mjnousak wrote several likes and dislikes of my story. I have covered a chunk of them here, but I'd like to respond to a few as well
Several of the points Mjnousak makes concerns the type of story it is, from Velvet going instant-mate mindeset and the 'Ecstasy Coma's', all of these things are related to the fact that Massages is what some people, myself included, nickname a "Crack" story. As in, it's a story that is silly and humorous and not very realistic on purpose. In the context of RWBY, I have extreme doubts that Velvet would think that way, and that Massages could induce borderline orgasms, but Massages was not written to be accurate and faithful to the source material. From the get-go, Massages was built as an AU that could never occur in the story.
The swearing is similar to the Cardin thing, in that I wont explain why I put it in but I regret it because I can see now that it doesn't fit.
One of the points that is quite valid, in my opinion, is how Ruby is incapacitated by a bullet. I do not remember Ruby ever being shot directly with Melodic Cudgel, though feel free to correct me if that is not true, but being hit by an explosive and a bullet are vastly different. A bullet pierces and causes internal damage, and an explosive is almost completely external unless there is shrapnel, which we have not seen in the show. Aura can heal burns and cuts, but I am not sure it would be able to heal the very heavy internal damage caused by being shot, and on that note, to my understanding, aura wouldn't protect from bullets. Bullets have a very tightly focused cone of force and move incredibly fast, so I doubt there is any character who could shrug off any kind of bullet.
My overhealing thing was just rapid damage and healing causing great stress on Jaune's hands because he wasn't given time to rest, it went straight from Massage to Massage with little in-between. Like Mjnousak said in that same bit, this is more of a clash of headcanons.
I would like to clarify that Mjnousak didn't just write a bunch of dislikes, they also wrote a handful of likes which I greatly appreciate.
Several people have mentioned this before, so I'm gonna give my stance on rewrites. I don't mind if you wanna write your own version, go right ahead, all I would like is credit for both me and Exvnir somewhere in the story, either the summary or the authors note. Other than that, go wild!
One last note. I was going through my list of documents, and I discovered one titled, "Massages as it should have been." If my memory serves correct, this would have been how I described Pheromone Dust in my authors note. Done right, with real characterization, real themes, real meaning, a.k.a a story that is more likely to occur in canon. The crack Massages where I gave Jaune everything I wanted is over, but I would like to know your opinions on this. Do you think I should go for a rewrite, try and make it into something I want to continue, or shall I leave it and move on? Responding with an answer would make me very happy, but you don't have to if you don't want to, the choice is yours.
P.S. Thank you all for your kind words and understanding, it means so much to me to hear people be so accepting of this situation. I'd give you all cookies if that were possible.