Hi! This little piece of silliness is for GeekChic12's birthday. If you don't know her, you're missing out. She's endlessly sweet, a fantastic writer and the best Robporn dealer around.

Thanks to Astro and Sophiacorgi, and especially to Twilly for making this what it is. Your help was invaluable.

Chapters will post twice daily until Geeky's birthday (October 3rd).

I hope you like!

"Uh, Edward?"

I turn to see Bella Swan a few feet away, shifting her weight from leg to leg. She's so shy she can barely look at me, her eyes flickering from my face to the wall behind me and back again every few seconds.


"Do you have a spare slide receiver lock nut? Mine won't tighten for some reason, and it's messing up my playing."

"I thought you were slightly off," I reply, mentally kicking myself when I see her blush and look toward the floor. "But yeah, I have one. Want me to bring it in tomorrow?"

"Actually, I was hoping to practice at home tonight… can I just come by your house and get it?" She says the last part so fast it takes me a few seconds to decipher it - long enough that her shoulders slump and she sighs.

"Don't wor-"

"No! I totally have a nut you can use!" I wince when some sophomores walking past laugh at the innuendo in my statement. Bella's eyes are nowhere near mine now, fixed on the frayed hem of her jeans instead.

"Erm, cool. So I'll, uh, come by after school?"

"Sure. I'll be home around four, so I'll just wait for you to come." This time, Bella winces too, her face scrunching up hard.

I'm an idiot.


And then she turns away, her massive backpack nearly decapitating a freshman. I watch her scuttle down the hallway, wondering why the thought of Bella Swan at my house makes my armpits sweat.

I rush around my room as soon as I get home, picking up dirty underwear and various tissues that make me glad my Mom doesn't clean in here anymore. Just as I shove a picture of Mary-Jane from Spiderman in my nightstand, I hear the doorbell ring.

I sprint down the stairs, trying to get to the door before my brother Emmett can. He's back from college for a week, and so far he's done nothing but tease me. No doubt having a girl here would only encourage that.

I run so fast I gain too much momentum and end up crashing into the door, my socks slipping on the wood floor until my legs are spread so wide I whimper. I open the door while rubbing my upper thigh, trying to stop the muscle cramping up.

"Hi, Edwa-what the hell are you doing?"

I look at Bella's horrified face, but her eyes are focused downward. I follow them, only to see… damn it.

I remove my hand from my crotch, trying to catch my breath from my run.

"Uh, hi, Bella. I was running down the stairs and slipped," I tell her, pointing to somewhere around my belt. Except that makes her look down at my groin again, and that makes me want to rub somewhere slightly down and to the left of where I was before. "Come in," I say, wincing when my voice cracks at the end.

Way to convince her you're not a freak, Cullen.

She steps in warily, eyeing the foyer as if there's something waiting to jump out at her. Other than the semi trying to poke its way through my jeans, that is.

"My nut's upstairs," I say, and if I thought she looked wary before, it's nothing compared to the wide-eyed expression she has now.

She follows me up the stairs, and I wonder if she's checking out my butt. She doesn't seem like the type, but back in ninth grade Tanya Jackson said I had 'the best tush Forks had ever seen', so if she's looking then at least it's at something good.

We make it to my room and she steps in, her purple backpack hitting the floor when she spots the XBox shrine in the corner. The TV is obnoxiously big and space-age looking, taking up almost the entire wall opposite my bed. "You, uh, you like CoD?" I ask as she steps closer to check out the cabinet full of games, her eyes level with the Call of Duty section.

"Cod?" she replies as her head turns to face me, her nose scrunched up. "No, not really. My dad mostly brings home salmon, so…"

"Oh... right." I scratch the back of my neck, not bothering to correct the misunderstanding. I don't think either one of us can handle any more awkwardness.

I shift uncomfortably as Bella eyes the rest of my room, looking at the movie and game posters lining the walls. She shivers when she spots the one of the Necromorphs from Dead Space, her arms coming up to wrap around her stomach. She looks distinctly uncomfortable in my room, her feet shuffling as though she's fighting having to leave.

"Can I use your bathroom?" she asks, her voice quiet.

"Sure, it's just down the hall. Second door on the left."

She wanders off, head swivelling to take in the posters around the door as she goes. As soon as she's out of sight, I bring my palm up and hit my face, wishing I wasn't so hopeless. This couldn't be going any worse.

Then a booming voice proves me wrong. "Well, if it isn't the Virgin Fairy!"

"Get out of my room, Emmett," I say through gritted teeth, fists clenching when I see him eyeing the backpack by the doorway.

"You got a friend over, little E?"

"Will you shut up? God, you're so embarrassing."

"Since when do you care about being embarrassed in front of Jasper or one of your other band dork friends?"

I stay silent, choosing to glare at him instead. When his eyes bulge, I know I'm in trouble. "Dude, do you have a girl here?"

"Shut. Up."

"You totally do."

"Seriously, you don't think you're embarrassing?"

"I'm embarrassing? You're a 17-year-old virgin who's never even had a girlfriend. I'd say that's about the ultimate in embarrassment, bro."

I'm just about to yell at him for crossing the line - several lines, actually - when I see someone else in the doorway.

Bella, eyes bulging and lips rounder than when they're pressed against the mouthpiece of her trombone.

Fuck my life.

*giggles* Thank you for reading!