Summary: Have you ever wanted to take your own life? Not just think about it, but seriously really consider it, turn it over in your mind. Ron does so every day. But can he actually do it? He's the middle pillar holding up a tall building and if he were to cease existince, so would everyone else. But does Ron know that?

Rating: R. It'll get extremely dark in upcoming chapters. Lots of angst. Suicide, death, and much more. You have been warned.

Disclaimer: The characters and situations in this story belong to JK Rowling, Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Warner Bros. The writer is making no money off of it and does not claim ownership over it. And other citations will be made where necassary.

Dedication: I'm dedicating this to JK Rowling, who's imagination and amazing mind has put together an incredible story that has inspired me to write this fanfic. Please don't sue me Joanne, I do not claim to own this, for my mind could never compare to yours. Thanks for helping me decide where I want to go in life.

Author's Note: Wow! This is my last chapter. I'm getting teary! I'll go get some tissues. Okay. All better. Thank you, every single one of you who ever reviewed, or even took the time to read this. I am totally and completely grateful to you. You've made this never-ending ride such a wonderful experience and I feel blessed to have people who like my writing. Thank you!

My muse Todd. Stay back after the chapter and you'll get to here his little addition. Careful, he's a bit of a potty mouth. But once he gets going, he forgets all about the swearing and just delivers wonderful, kind-hearted speeches. I hope you'll enjoy it!

Scott! I am so lucky to have you in my life. You have spurred me on to greater heights than where I'm standing, and yet you're right there along with me. That is such a special thing, and so I've sought you out to thank you for being such a wonderful friend. It means the world to me! Just having you as my friend.

I also want to apologize for the excessive amount of spelling mistakes in the last chapter. When I get excited, I tend to type very fast on the keyboard, which leads to horrible typos. I'm extremely lazy, so when I feel like it, I'll fix all the lame mistakes in my story. Thanks again everyone! 8-)

XOXOXOX

Epilogue

*** 'Cause we lost it all, Nothing lasts for ever, I'm sorry, I can't be Perfect.

Simple Plan, Perfect. ***

Four painfully short months. That's how long it's been. I still remember the moment Lucius Malfoy's mouth formed the words, "I killed George Weasley". I remember the anger I felt. But most of all, I remember the focused hate I felt. The hate I felt for a man who showed no mercy. Lucius Malfoy. In a way, he's worse than Voldemort. Voldemort. I remember his laughter as he watched Harry and I be tortured.

Sometimes I wake up at night, calling out for someone - anyone - to comfort me. But no one ever comes.

I have dreams now. Horrifying dreams.... ones that refuse to let me drift into oblivion, where I can't hear Malfoy's hysterics. I can see clearly, as though Voldemort has pasted pictures on the back of my eyelids, so that even if I close my eyes I see it. Malfoy's hands balled into fists, pummeling into Snape, yelling at him, only because there are no answers.

Sometimes I'll pass Malfoy in the hall and we look into each other's eyes, into the haunted expression. I know what he's gone through and he knows what I've gone through. It's oddly comforting, to know that neither of us can do anything to get away, but at least knowing there's someone else who can't get away. I wouldn't call that friendship, for I doubt I'll ever be able to trust him.

Hermione.... she's so careful around me these days, it's like she's stepping on eggshells when I'm around. It's really hard on her. I hate putting her through so much pain. I hate putting everyone through pain. No one knows what happened that night, but they don't mention it. They can't mention it. They're almost.... scared. Or rather, terrified.

I try telling myself it's over.... that the pain is gone for ever. But it doesn't work. The pain will never be gone... and in a way I know it. I remember a time where I wondered what life was worth living for. A time where I wished there was something more than just getting up in the morning and going to class. And now, painfully so, I am fully aware that there is something much more than just that.

I've figured it out. There is a reason to live. And now that I've found out that I'm not here for the reasons I originally thought I was, I kind of wish I hadn't. I've gotten through this battle with Voldemort.... but what about the next one? Maybe Malfoy and Snape won't be there to help Harry and I. Maybe I won't be there to help Harry. But I want to be, I really do.

Harry. He'll never be free of this either. When I think about how life is so utterly unfair to Harry, I feel as though I'd willingly switch places with him in a second. But perhaps it wouldn't fix anything, for I'm only slightly less screwed up than he is.

And then.... I want to cry. So I lie on my bed when everyone's down in the Great Hall eating lunch, front first in bed. I wait for the tears to come, but they don't. They won't come! I want so desperately to cry that I think back to everything in my life that's ever made me angry or sad. I'm there a long time. And finally, when I've almost given up hope of being able to shed even a tear, they come. And they come like a waterfall. But I make no noise, nor do I move. I just lie there and let the tears soak my pillow and when that side of the pillow is so damp I can squeeze the tears out of it, I turn it over so I can cry into the other side. I'm not sure how long I'm there for and when my pillow is all used up I proceed to use George's old sweater, the one with the G on it. I found it in my trunk just the other day. It gives me many more reasons to cry. I think I must cry myself to sleep, for I wake up later that day and realize I've missed all my afternoon classes.

The saddest thing about all of this, is that there's no closure. I don't have any reassurance that no one else I love dearly will be snatched away from me by the cruel hands of fate. And instead of being upset, I'm jealous. George got out of this world..... and I didn't.

Fred. When I look at him, I know - I don't have to think about it for even a second - that Fred's going to leave us too. I watch the way he slumps down the hall, or the way he eats nothing or the way he stands by the lake, contemplating whether or not to jump in and end it all. Perhaps right now, he's too scared to do it. But later.... when he realizes wherever George is, it's a better place then here, he's going to top himself. And I'll probably let him get on with it. He was meant to do it.... just like I'm meant not to.

And of course little Ginny. The one who asks me what life is worth living for so often I can't keep track any longer. She asked me again just a few days ago.... and this time I answered truthfully. I pulled her into my lap and put my arms around her. I thought a moment.

"Honestly Ginny....." I watched as her eyes filled with tears and I knew she was thinking about George every minute that I was and I knew I had to give her a straight answer, "...I'm not sure that there is a pleasant answer to that question. George is in a better place and the most disturbing thought for me, Ginny, is that I couldn't go with him. I hate being here.... and not because of you or anyone else that I hold dear to me, but because.... you know that feeling you get when you know think there's something you've forgotten to do?" Ginny nodded her head and I smiled weakly before I finished. "I constantly have that feeling. Like life played me cards and I forgot to put one down when I should have. But Ginny, there's every reason to live in this world. Because, if you drop off the planet, the people around you are affected. Ginny... don't contemplate suicide," I said, and put my chin on her shoulder, "I've been there..... it's not a pretty feeling."

Ginny looked at me and started to cry. She said she was sorry for what I go through. And I told her that it was okay and that I was sorry for what she goes through as well. We sat in the common room like that for awhile. I didn't cry that time. But Ginny did. Enough for the both of us.

Four months is how long it's been..... and I can still hear Voldemort's laughter. I don't think I shall ever forget it.



End notes: Yes yes. It's all very sad. No closure whatsoever. I'm sorry for doing that to poor Ron. But he has to realize that not everything ends beautifully. This installment is over. But the next one should be out after I've written it. Check back here to see.

Thank you to everyone who ever took the time to read and review this story. I'm going to thank three individuals right now.

WitchGirl, who's writes inspiring stories that everyone should take the time to read. WitchGirl has been my regular reviewer throughout this fic and it's been greatly appreciated. I want to thank her for adding me to her Favourite Authors/Stories section in her bio!

Resident Goddess is another person I must thank. She is my favourite author here at Fanfiction because she wrote a story partially for me and because she's yet another inspiring author, who's stories you shouldn't hesitate to look over! She reviewed this story and I'm reletively honoured, so thank you very much RD!

I also want to thank Kiara. Kiara wrote a really amazing Draco/Harry story that I've had loads of fun reading. When I asked Kiara to read and review this story, I wasn't really expecting Kiara to. Because Kiara seemed like a very busy author. But she (or he) did indeed and I'm so very happy. 8- )

Song Identification: I started this fic with the song Perfect by Simple Plan. So that is how I will end it. Thank you everyone.

Sequel: The sequel will be out when I'm done writing it. I'm nowhere near done. I've got the prologue and a bit of the first chapter. Check to see when it gets posted up. If anyone would like to get a notice when it does get put up, send me an email or tell me in a review. 8-) Au revoir!

Lyrics to Perfect by Simple Plan

Hey Dad, Look at me, Think back and talk to me. Did I grow up according to plan? And do you think I'm wasting my time, Doing things I wanna do?

But it hurts when you disapprove all along. And now I tried hard to make it, I just wanna make you proud. I'm never gonna be good enough for you. Can't pretend that I'm all right, and you can't change me.

'Cause we lost it all, Nothing lasts for ever. I'm sorry, I can't be Perfect.

Now it's 's just too late, And we can't go back. I'm sorry, I can't be Perfect.

I try not to think, 'Bout the pain I feel inside. Did you know you used to be my hero? And all the days you spent with me, Now seem so far away. And it feels like you don't care anymore. And now I tried hard to make it, I just wanna make you proud. I'm never gonna be good enough for you. Can't stand another fight, and nothing's all right.

'Cause we lost it all, Nothing lasts for ever. I'm sorry, I can't be Perfect.

Now it's 's just too late, And we can't go back. I'm sorry, I can't be Perfect.

Nothing's gonna change the things that we said. Nothing's gonna make this right again. Please don't turn your back, I can't believe it's all just a talk to you, But you don't understand.

'Cause we lost it all, Nothing lasts for ever. I'm sorry, I can't be Perfect.

Now it's 's just too late, And we can't go back. I'm sorry, I can't be Perfect.

(Repeat)



Todd's End Notes:

Hello. I am Tine's goddamn muse, Todd. I'm the one that goes out to parties and gets drunk off his ass. Well do you know what.... at least I help Tine. I could just sick back, relax and let her do all the fucking work, but I don't. I think, think, think every minute of the damn day. (Recognize that line?) Not that Tine doesn't.... but still!

You see (but don't tell Tine I said this), Tine and I are real close. She doesn't think so, but I know so! I don't know what it is, but we're just constantly on the same wave-length. And while I adore it, it can also be a curse. Tine always knows what I'm thinking about. Sometimes, it's just not good stuff. Sometimes I'll think about my parties and so she inserts them into her writing. Sometimes I'll think about..... er.... this is uncomfortable. Ah hell. Sometimes I think about sex (99% of the time I'll admit). Tine's been forced to write about sex a couple times, just because I was thinking about it. And I must apologize for that, as it can often be very graphic.

Ahem. So anyways, where was I? Right! I remember. Writing is a very intellectual gift that every human being has. Not everyone can write well, but at least we can all write. Writing, for Tine, is like a release. You know how there are some people who go out and get drunk or high when they're upset or angry at the world? *Looks at ground, innocently* Well Tine doesn't doesn't really those things. When she's upset, or angry at the world, she simply writes. It doesn't matter what she writes about, or who she writes it for, she just writes. Some people do that through music. Or through art. Being the wonderful Muse that I am, I have a talent for all three.

Well anyway! Don't wanna brag. (Yes I do). I'm simply making a point. If you can get a release through something other than alcohol or drugs or pain, then that's a pretty good thing. If you're here, then you probably love to read. Some people get a release through reading. What about you? What do you do that makes you over the moon with happiness? What makes you happier than ever? What is it you do that creates the wonderful world of complete bliss? Find it, and do as much of it as you can. It'll make you a much happier person. Don't ever let go of that special thing you do. I absolutely loathe to see talent wasted. Especially if it's exceptional talent.

So if you like to write; Write. If you like to play a musical instrument; Play. If you like to draw; Draw. If you like to read; Read. If you like to laugh; Laugh. If you like to sing; Sing. Do what makes you happy. It makes all the difference.

You have now heard the opinion of one person and her muse. Go find more, and think about what yours might be. Thanks to all who reviewed, and good-day! I said good-day! (A/N: That 70's Show Rocks!)

~Todd!