Oliver brushed his new long blonde hair, which he found surprisingly enjoyable. It was still damp though, because toweling it dry only did so much and using the hairdryer was harder than he expected. And shaving? Damn, where don't women shave? He thought he'd done a decent job, but it was kind of exhausting. And soaping up was strangely… arousing. But that was all done and he was having fun with Felicity's pretty locks, which were getting all ringlet-y now and he liked to pull on them and watch them go sproing when he let go.
Okay, so he was probably enjoying this too much. It wasn't so much being a girl as it was… uh… Well, getting to be so close to Felicity. Sort of. Or maybe it was because he'd always wanted to play with her hair. And touch her boobs. And he'd had a few sex dreams about her so finally getting to see her naked was really nice.
But it was probably mostly the hair thing.
Then there was a knock at the door and the fun was over. Dressed only in an oversized shirt and baggy sweatpants (Going commando without things moving around? So cool.), Oliver answered the door for two very built men.
"You took a shower," the hotter one grumbled.
"Wow, I'm adorable when I'm pouty." he remarked casually.
The hotter one shoved his way in and made a beeline for the tank in the corner. As Felicity took care of Paperweight, Oliver and Diggle talked.
"How's your morning been?" asked Diggle, trying not to laugh.
"Eh, can't complain." he replied, watching as Felicity cooed at her pet tortoise.
"Find anything out?"
"She has a birthmark."
"I mean about what's happened to you two."
Before Diggle could continue, Felicity took Oliver by the arm and dragged him to the bedroom. "Come on, I need to show you how to put on a bra."
Oliver suppressed a smile as Felicity dug around in the closet.
"You keep bras in the closet?"
She sighed. "I need to figure out your outfit first. Then I can decide on the right bra."
Oliver rolled his eyes as she pulled out a dark dress that looked like a really long sweater. Then she wrangled a blue cotton bra from the top drawer.
"Put it on backwards and upside down, then twist it around, put your arms through the straps and then… uh… adjust."
Oliver blinked. "No. A piece of clothing should not have that many steps."
"Just put the thing on."
"Put on the bra, Oliver!" Felicity urged a little too loudly. Diggle could be heard laughing in the living room.
Oliver took off his shirt and raised his hands above his head. "Do it for me."
Felicity bit her lip and considered his demand. "Fine."
She wrapped the bra around him and expertly hooked the loops from the back to skip a step. "Nice job shaving, by the way."
"Did…" She glanced down as Oliver put his arms through the straps and caught sight of something that made her gape in horror. "Why is it doing that?!"
Oliver turned around to see what she was freaking out about, "adjusting" as he did so. When he saw it, he smirked. "Well, there is a naked girl in the room."
"Yeah, me! It's not like I'm aroused!"
"If I'm in the room with a naked girl, it normally means I'm going to have sex very soon."
Felicity was backing away, as if it were possible to distance herself from the source of her discomfort. "Are you saying this is a Pavlovian response?"
"It has a mind of its own, really."
"Ugh." Felicity stared at the ceiling and took a deep breath. "This thing has been nothing but trouble." Then she stared down at the offending appendage. "Aiming you was a nightmare, and now you're doing this really awkward thing and—It's not that I hate you, I mean had we'd met under different circumstances I'm sure I'd—"
"That's right, talk it out," Oliver encouraged, straight-faced.
"—appreciate you. Given time, we could probably get along but I really need you to… Wait a minute, I'm talking to your penis."
"And you bored it into submission."
Felicity cocked her head to the side. "Hm. It's like Dracula rising from his coffin, but in reverse."
Suppressing a smile, Oliver slipped out of his sweatpants and picked up the dress. "I'll need help with my hair and makeup after this."
"Dammit, Oliver! Put on some—No! You stay down!"
Roy took the news as well as Diggle had.
"Why did you even call him?" Felicity grumbled as the delinquent sidekick suffered through a laugh attack.
"He's on the team." The bodyguard was doing one of those almost-smirks of his, which only made Felicity angrier. She looked over to Oliver for support, but he was too busy flipping his bouncy new locks around while sitting in her chair. The sight wasn't helping quiet Roy, either.
Felicity stomped over to her computers (It seemed like stomping was all she could do in this big, bulky body.) and pushed her occupied chair out of the way. As Oliver sailed towards the training mats, Felicity rapidly pounded the keys, her new fat fingers causing mistakes. Her new height caused her discomfort, as she had to lean forward at an awkward angle.
"What are you doing?" Roy asked, finally able to say something other than "Oliver has a vagina now!"
"Searching for any enemies that have connections to weird stuff like this." she explained. "Like voodoo or something."
"How do you know it won't just wear off or something?" offered Oliver as he scooted the office chair around the room.
"It's a chance we shouldn't take." Then Felicity gave him a long, hard look. "Why do you seem so happy about this? You're not nearly as freaked out or awkward as you should be."
"Well, he does get to touch your boobs whenever he wants now. That's probably why." Roy answered. Felicity glared at him, missing Oliver's nod in agreement. "Hey, have you figured out your new penis yet?" He really was enjoying this opportunity to tease her and make her new rugged, bearded face blush.
"For all we know, the culprit might not even be someone we've faced yet." she said, ignoring the question. "Like some kind of preemptive strike. It could be someone who knows who the Arrow is, or someone only targeting Oliver Queen. But really it just seems like a way to make the Arrow harmless, right? Or to distract him while a crime is being committed? I just wish we had somewhere to start. Oliver, stop touching my boobs."
"They're my boobs, now. And they're like squishy little grapefruit."
"I'm beginning to think his behavior is an addition to the switch and not just the result of being in my body." she mused, staring at Oliver curiously.
"I take it you have no idea the effect a woman's body has on a man," Roy countered.
Felicity rolled her eyes. "Diggle, do you know if we have a way to contact Sara yet? Maybe she's heard of something or someone that can do this."
"Still no idea where she is or how to reach her," said Oliver, spinning around in the chair.
"What about Barry?" suggested Diggle. "Maybe he can help."
"Um, no." she responded, blushing fiercely. "I'd rather not involve him."
"Weeeee!" squealed Oliver, rolling the chair across the floor. The other three team members stared in concern.
"Then again, we may have no choice." voiced Roy.
Felicity cleared her throat. "I'll, um… I'll call him if this isn't resolved in a few days."