Days Go By
DISCLAIMER: Wicked is not my property or creation. I just really love it.
AN. Basically, Come What May was still in my head and refusing to let me move onto another story. So I had to write this to get my brain to shut up. But it worked!
Story title comes from a Delta Goodrem song by the same name, and it seemed appropriate! Also check out my blog for photos of Elphaba's wedding dress from The Beginning of Forever.
Fiyero entered their bedroom, looking forward to climbing into bed. It was a cold November night, and he knew their bed would be warm. Elphaba had gone up an hour ago, but Fiyero had had work to finish before he could follow. As he opened the door, he wondered if his wife would be awake. The lamp was still on, but that didn't mean anything; Elphaba was quite able to fall asleep with the light on and would sometimes leave it on for him if he came to bed after her.
He was careful to close the door as silently as possible, then came to a stop in confusion as he saw that the bed was empty. The en suite bathroom door, however, was closed and there was a light shining underneath. Satisfied that he knew the whereabouts of his wife, Fiyero relaxed and proceeded to prepare for bed. But when Elphaba still hadn't emerged by the time he was done, his concern was back.
Fiyero got up and crossed the room to the bathroom, tapping lightly on the door.
"Elphaba? Are you okay?"
There was a moment's pause, and then a faint "Yes", which told Fiyero she was anything but okay.
He tried the door and found that it was unlocked and as the knob turned, he heard the tap go on and water begin to run. Fiyero opened the door and found Elphaba splashing water on her face, although it couldn't hide the fact her eyes were red and puffy and she had clearly been crying.
"Fae?" he asked anxiously.
"I'm fine," Elphaba replied, not meeting his eyes.
But after a year of being married, Fiyero wasn't fooled.
It wasn't a question, and Elphaba tried to use that as an excuse not to answer. But she could feel his eyes on her as she left the bathroom and slipped beneath the covers, rolling on her side to face away from Fiyero's side of the bed.
He said nothing.
Elphaba felt the bed shift a few moments later as he climbed in beside her, and then he slipped a hand onto her hip, a silent plea for her to talk.
"I got my period," she finally said, her voice quiet.
Fiyero's first feeling was relief, and then he was confused again. He was relieved that nothing bad had happened; but he couldn't think why Elphaba getting her period would get her so upset.
Elphaba couldn't even roll her eyes at his lame response, she just explained, still not looking at him.
"I was late."
It took a moment for Fiyero to connect the dots and realise the significance of that. His grasp on her hip tightened a fraction.
Finally, Elphaba rolled over to face him.
"I was late."
He propped himself up on an elbow as he looked down at her, his eyes filled with emotion.
"How late?" he asked, sharper than he'd intended. "Why didn't you say anything?"
"A week," she said hoarsely. "I was going to tell you... in a few days if it hadn't come. I just... I didn't want to get your hopes up. I didn't want to get my hopes up," she admitted.
"It was just the last day or so, that I started thinking... maybe. But then..."
Fiyero lowered his head and kissed her softly. "I'm sorry, sweet girl."
Elphaba blinked and her eyes were filled with fresh tears.
"I want to have a baby," she whispered brokenly.
It was the first time she had spoken those words aloud. Every time the idea had crossed her mind in the past year, she had brushed it aside. She hadn't wanted to think about it, not when they didn't know if it was even possible. But in the past month or so, she hadn't been able to brush it aside, and she had felt the idea and the mental image of a little child that was half her and half Fiyero take root in what felt like every fibre of her body.
She had wanted to tell Fiyero, she knew he'd be thrilled about the idea, but she knew that once she said it aloud, it would be real. And all the disappointments that she was expecting would hurt even more.
Fiyero moved over her and drew her to him, capturing her lips in a kiss full of longing. He didn't have to say anything, but he did nonetheless.
"There is nothing in this world that would make me happier, Fae," he murmured.
That was what Elphaba had been expecting and dreading. "But we don't know if-"
He cut her off with another kiss. "Hey. Let's not focus on that for a moment, ok?" he admonished her gently. "Let's focus on the bright side."
Elphaba wasn't sure what that was, and then he broke into a brilliant smile.
"You want to have a baby?"
Elphaba couldn't help but return the smile, despite everything.
"Yeah," she nodded softly, blinking back tears and softly stroking his cheek. "I want a baby. I want our baby."
Fiyero kissed her fingers lightly. "I do too, honey. More than anything."
Elphaba gently pushed him off of her so that she could sit up.
"What if I can't?" she asked simply.
Fiyero sat up too, reaching out and tucking a lock of her hair behind her ear. "I told you. We'll adopt."
Elphaba wasn't opposed to that idea, but she knew it wasn't that simple.
"Will the law accept-"
"Yes," Fiyero cut her off before she could finish. "I've made sure of that."
This was news to Elphaba. "You have?" she asked in surprise.
Fiyero nodded. "Right after we got married. Dad and I wrote the law and we spoke to Parliament and they passed it. Unanimously, I might add."
Elphaba was flabbergast. "How did I not know this?" she demanded.
"Well... I made sure you didn't," Fiyero admitted. "I just... I didn't want to push the issue until you were ready; but I wanted to be prepared."
Elphaba smiled softly, and she leaned over to kiss him.
"You really wouldn't mind if... if we can't have a baby? If I can't get pregnant?"
Fiyero drew her close, falling silent for a moment as she curled up against him.
"I'm not saying I wouldn't be disappointed," he said truthfully. "Because the idea of a baby... a little person that we made... nothing could ever be more amazing than that. But if we adopted, giving a home to a child who needs one... that's pretty amazing too. And even though it wouldn't be our child biologically, it would still be ours."
Elphaba agreed with that sentiment wholeheartedly.
"You know... we could still do that. Even if we can have a baby, we could still adopt."
Fiyero smiled softly. "I love that idea. But in the meantime... why don't we talk to some doctors? See if possibly we can find out for sure, one way or the other? Because I just know... this whole 'maybe' thing... it'll tear you apart, Fae. And I can't stand to watch that."
Elphaba bit her lip and then nodded slowly. "OK," she agreed.
So over the next few weeks, Elphaba and Fiyero consulted the best doctors in the Vinkus for answers. Fiyero even sent for specialists- both medical and magical- from the Emerald City, wanting to ensure they explored all their options.
But frustratingly, no one seemed to be able to give them a definite answer. Answers ranged from "not impossible" to "somewhat likely"; and with each vague, noncommittal answer, Fiyero watched Elphaba collapse into herself a little more. Finally, one of the doctors from the Emerald City- one that had been recommended by Dr Crowe when Elphaba had written to him for that very purpose- looked to them and spoke sympathetically.
"If I was to put a number on it, I'd say your chances of falling pregnant are about sixty per cent. And I'm very sorry that we can't give you an definite answer. But honestly, the best way to know if you can naturally have a child or not, is to try."
Normally, Fiyero would have made a joke about that, but not today. Not when Elphaba was clutching his hand in a death grip and not saying a word.
"What do you want to do?"
Fiyero asked her the question as they lay in bed that night, and Elphaba stared up at the ceiling silently.
"I... I don't know if I can handle it. The waiting and the hoping every month..."
Fiyero could understand that, he didn't think he could handle it either.
"Why don't we just give it some time?" he suggested. "Not... trying, but not... not trying... if that makes sense."
Elphaba looked to him and he entwined his fingers in hers.
"Sixty per cent isn't bad, Fae," he pointed out gently.
"It's not great either," she retorted.
"I do love you, my little pessimist," he said teasingly, kissing her sweetly and Elphaba couldn't help but chuckle even as she returned the kiss.
Eventually they came to a decision. They would give it some more time and see what happened, before making any decisions regarding adoption. But even though they refused to say that they were trying to get pregnant, it hung over them anyway. Only time would tell.
AN. So, I don't think in reality a law like that would actually be passed. Not that I know that much about the laws regarding royalty and how the throne is passed down. But let's just say the Vinkus is revolutionary, ok?
Also, I'm still taking questions for my Q&A. I will be filming it (at the latest) this weekend, so you still have time!