A/N: Hi! So a few weeks before the premiere I got this idea and after watching the first two eps, I decided to write it. Here it is! This is much shorter than my usual stories and all, but I think the following chapters will be longer.
There will follow more letters soon *-*
I don't own anything. :(
She knew it was a bad decision to just let him walk away. She wanted to tell him so many things so badly and when they stood on the tarmac, she just couldn't put her thoughts into words and say them out loud. It was almost as if her tongue had been cut off or tied and she just barely forced a loved out. But even though she couldn't say it- yet- Tony perfectly understood what she wanted him to know. And he leaned in and kissed her. Hell, he kissed her! It was the most passionate kiss she had ever had the pleasure of receiving and she willingly kissed him back. There was no reason not to do it; she just wanted him to know how she felt, how she had felt for a really long time now. When they parted, there was a moment in which she thought that he would drop his bag and stay, but then he kissed her for one last, much shorter time and told her that it wasn't easy. As if she didn't know that, it wasn't easy for her either. Then he released his grip on her and walked backwards a few feet, turning around with a last glance. Ziva had to restrain herself from running to him, holding him and kissing him; and when he walked up the steps towards the entrance of the plane that would take him back home, she realized that it was final. That was the end, for now. She wasn't planning on forgetting him; she just said that she had to get away from everything. When he had turned his body away from her and walked up the steps, she allowed her body to shake and let out a small, barely noticeable sob. She missed him already!
And when he turned around one last time and waved at her, the sob became noticeable and she even tried to smile for him. She watched the plane take off and let herself cry for a few minutes before going back home, hoping that Tony would hold on tightly to her necklace and keep it for her. She called Gibbs almost immediately after walking into the house and told him what had happened, explained to him that she only did all of this to protect him. She felt herself being comforted even though he wasn't there and she could have sworn she felt his presence, his touch and smelled his cologne and she just felt safe.
That night, when it was already very dark outside, she wrote the first of many letters from Israel. It was addressed to Tony, of course. When she closed her phone after talking to Gibbs for more than two hours straight, she grabbed a sheet of white paper and a pen, sat down at the table and just stared at the white sheet for what seemed like hours. Then, she finally put the pen on the paper and started to write.
The last time we saw each other was only hours ago, on the tarmac. I know we never truly spoke about our feelings towards each other, but I think it is time for doing just that now. You are one of the finest men I have ever met, you are handsome, helpful, you care so much for the people around you and you make me laugh. No man has ever done this much for me as you have, Tony. I am so grateful for what you did, how you saved me from Somalia. I have always trusted you, not only with my life but with my heart too. You earned my trust truthfully and I myself know that I usually do not let people in that easily. But more importantly, you taught me how to love. After all the men that hurt me in my life, you are the first one that did not. I hurt you and I am truly sorry for that. I hope that one day, you can forgive me.
As I sit here, in my new and old home, it is suddenly so lonely without you. We have stayed together for four months and it seems like forever. I miss you and I miss the joy and the life you have brought into this house.
I just… I do not know what else I should say or write to you, for now. Please do not forget me, and wait for more letters because I am sure there will be many to follow this one.
She sighed deeply and put down the pen. She opened the envelope she had earlier placed on the table, folded the white sheet of paper, inserted it and sealed it. She glued the stamp on it and wrote Tony's name on the front. She left it like that and didn't even put her name on it. Tony would know from whom the letter was, of that Ziva was sure.
Three days later and without thinking twice about it, she brought the letter to the post office and mailed it. Then she returned home and began writing the next one.
I would love for you to leave a review and tell me if I should continue this or not. =)