This is for my awesome friend Chrysalliss. We drowned in feels when we live chatted while watching the episode yesterday, so this is my way to thank her for being such an incredible friend. Here you go, honey!
Oh, and for everyone who doesn't know my writing. It's M-rated for a reason. Consider yourself warned!
Disclaimer: I don't own anything!
The One Ingredient
"No! No, no, no! There is nothing I can tell you."
He was trashing around, his cries ripping through the silence of the room and Kensi fumbled for the light switch, bathing the room in light before she turned around to him.
"Deeks!" Kensi grabbed his shoulder, shaking him lightly. "Deeks! Wake up! Wake up! It's only a dream!"
"Noooooooo!" His body arched up as he screamed, his face contorted in pain.
"Marty!" Kensi shouted now, her grip tightening around his shoulder. "Wake up!"
He shot up in bed, his whole body shaking, a strangled sound coming out of his mouth and he stared at her wide-eyed, the pain in his eyes making her stomach churn and she lifted a hand, trailing her fingers over his cheek, brushing his hair away from his forehead as she said soothingly. "It's okay. It was only a dream. You are safe. You are okay."
He let out a shuddering breath, his body relaxing slightly as he came back to reality. Leaning back Kensi pulled him into her arms and he buried his face against her neck, his arm coming around her waist, his fingers digging into her skin.
"Don't leave me!" He whispered, tremors still rushing over his body.
"I'm right here, Deeks." Kensi said softly, trailing her hand up and down his back. "I'm not going anywhere."
She was nervous as she put the key into the lock. He had given her a key to his apartment months ago. Before the abduction. Before he got tortured. For emergency he'd said, a goofy grin on his face, a mischievous twinkle in his eyes. This twinkle that had been completely gone afterwards, this twinkle that just started to come back. He was healing. Slowly. But the old Deeks came back with each passing day, the pain in his eyes ceased, the haunted expression on his face didn't appear that often anymore.
She was glad he got better with each passing day but she still couldn't shake this weird feeling that she might lose something special, that he might not need her anymore, that they might go back to the way they were before and she didn't want to go back. She didn't want to lose this closeness.
It had become a routine. Her coming to his apartment with his favorite food. Them watching something silly on TV. Him falling asleep to the sound of her voice telling him a story.
He knew it was because of her that he could go back to work. She was the reason he was able to keep being a cop. She was the one who was holding him together. He wouldn't have made it without her help. He knew that.
It was hard. This last night without her. They'd agreed that it was time to try it. See if he could sleep through the night without her by his side and he actually did. No nightmares. But a part of him was contemplating if he should lie, if he should tell her he couldn't sleep without her so that she would keep sleeping with him in the same bed. He liked having her in his bed. Waking up to her beside him. Starting the day with their usual playful banter. Arguing over the coffee or the fact that he forgot to buy milk again. He didn't want to lose this but he realized he couldn't lie to her either.
"How did it go?" She asked as he opened the door, seeing her standing on his doorstep with coffee and donuts.
"I slept through the night without having one nightmare." He said quietly as he closed the door behind her, stepping around her, standing somehow awkwardly in the middle of the living room, not knowing what to say or do next.
"That's great!" Kensi replied, trying to hide the disappointment that rushed through her. She would miss sleeping beside him. "So you don't need me to stay with you at night anymore."
"No!" He said it louder than he intended to, the word more like a scream, and her head whipped around.
"What do you mean?" Kensi asked, turning around and setting the coffee and the bag of donuts on the table, ignoring the shaking of her hands.
"I still need you." Marty said quietly, forcing himself to not look away.
"What are you saying, Deeks?" He heard the quiver in her voice, he saw the uncertainty flashing over her eyes.
"I need you." He stepped closer, backing her against the door and Kensi held her breath as his hand came up, his fingers caressing her cheek and he tilted her head up, his eyes burning into hers as he whispered. "I love you."
He didn't give her time to respond as his lips crashed onto hers, his tongue delving into her mouth, her head slamming against the door before she recovered from the surprise and let out a deep groan, grabbing his head and kissing him back with the same ferocity.
Hot passion raced through her body and her hands started to wander down his neck, slipping between their bodies, her fingers closing around the hem of his shirt, pulling it up, letting go of his mouth only for the few seconds it took to pull it over his head.
They were frantic, tugging and ripping at each other's clothes, their kisses getting more hungry and passionate with each passing second until they finally were naked and he lifted her up, pressing her hard against the door, pushing into her without hesitation, a moan slipping over her lips as he started to move.
"Oh my God!" She whimpered, closing her eyes, the sensations running through her taking her breath away.
When he suddenly stopped she opened her eyes slowly, hardly able to focus her gaze on his. His eyes were burning with passion and he wrapped his arms around her as he stepped away from the door, carrying her to the bedroom. He lowered her carefully on the bed and as he slipped out of her she let out a disappointed groan but he just flipped her around, pulling her back and she scrambled up on her knees, hot excitement rushing through her at the thought of him taking her from behind.
"God, Kensi!" He groaned as he plunged back into her, her hands fisted the bed sheet, their groans and moans reverberating through the room as he took her hard, every thrust hitting her deep.
Leaning forward, he drove himself even deeper into her, his hands suddenly on her breasts, kneading them, his fingers tugging at her nipples and then he pulled her up, one hand slipping down her body, finding the bundle of nerves there, his mouth closing over hers, silencing her moans as he pushed her closer and closer to the edge, her body exploding into a million pieces, his arms the only thing keeping her from falling as she shattered, clenching around him, the waves of her orgasm ripping through her body, taking her breath away and he kept pushing into her, drawing it out until he stiffened, a deep groan rumbling out of his throat as he followed her over the edge.
"I'm sorry, Kens." He murmured against her skin, his lips brushing over her forehead.
"For what?" Kensi asked sleepily, drawing random patterns with her fingers on his chest.
"For getting a little rough with you."
"You think I can't handle a little rough?"
"I know you can." He replied softly and she could feel him taking in a deep breath before he continued. "I just imagined our first time a little less … desperate?"
"Desperate?" Kensi chuckled, lifting her head from his chest and looking up into his eyes. "I prefer the word passionate."
"And there is nothing wrong with passion, right?"
"No." He replied, shooting her a lopsided grin. "Nothing at all."
"I'm glad we've cleared that up." Kensi said, smiling back.
"You know when Nate talked to me he told me I need to figure out what the one ingredient that makes our partnership distinct from the rest is." He said softly, his eyes meeting hers as he added. "I figured it out now."
"What is it?" Kensi asked, looking at him intently and he lifted his hands, cupping her face and pulling her up until his lips met hers.
"Love." He whispered, his tongue slipping into her mouth, kissing her gently and thoroughly before he pulled back and slipping down he turned her around, wrapping his arm around her waist, drawing her back into his arms. "The ingredient that makes our partnership unique is love. I don't know exactly how this should work or if it will work, Kens. But I love you."
His arm tightened around her, pulling her even closer and a few minutes of silence passed, his breaths evening out and Kensi shifted slightly, her fingers closing around his.
"Deeks?" She asked quietly in case he was already sleeping.
"Yeah?" His hoarse voice, thick with sleep, drifted to her ears and she inhaled a deep breath before she whispered.
"I love you too."
She felt him stiffen in surprise behind her before he pressed a kiss on her hair and just tightened his grip around her even more. She was glad that he didn't say anything. But she shouldn't be surprised that he knew what she needed, that he knew when to say something and when to stay silent. He was her partner for several years now. He knew her inside and out and with this realization she relaxed into his arms.
They would be okay. They would find a way to make this work. They were partners. Partners in every way possible. And they had the one ingredient that made their partnership distinct from the rest.
So, I hope you liked it!
I'm not gonna venture into another fandom though. I love Deeks and Kensi but I really don't have the time to write stories for yet another couple, though there might be some one-shots from time to time. :-)