This wasn't originally supposed to exist but what with Person asking me to write it and my friend Danie begging me to do the same, I decided to give it a shot xP
This was actually supposed to be an independent One-Shot but I felt it was better to include it with the other one as a second chapter of the sort because there are some things I don't explain that only people who read the first part would know xP
Bilbo awoke with a shriek of surprise. He was supposed to be on guard duty, and it was a very important task at the moment considering he had just confronted Smaug (albeit wasn't what he expected) and had potentially angered him by accidentally leaving with a golden treasure he had clutched to during their...confrontation. And though he had expected that encounter to be the last time Smaug would ever show himself in such a form, there he was, inches away from Bilbo's face - still completely naked.
"Shh!" Smaug schooled, wearily looking around the sleeping pack of Dwarves, "You'll wake them!"
"What are you doing here?" Bilbo asked, his heart beating quickly and his face reddening as his eyes began to wander to less than appropriate places.
Bilbo gasped when Smaug quickly took his hands in his, bringing them to his lips and kissing their tips softly. "I love you." he declared in all seriousness.
Bilbo flushed darkly, "W-what?"
"I love you." Smaug declared with a twinkle in his eyes, "And I know that none of the gold in Erebor can ever fill the hole you'll leave behind if I let you go."
"W-what are you saying?" Bilbo stuttered, shocked. "How...? Why...?"
"I'm not sure." Smaug admitted, lowering his head a little as he pondered, "You've just been the only creature on my mind since our-"
"Yes!" Bilbo interrupted, blushing profoundly, "I remember what we did!"
"I didn't mean to burn you in the process." Smaug admitted with an honestly regretful look. "It just...happened..."
"Please stop talking." Bilbo begged, pulling his hands away from Smaug's as to cover his face in shame.
"Do you regret it?" Smaug asked, concerned by Bilbo's reactions. "Was I not good to you?"
"Wha— No, no, no!" Bilbo insisted quickly, "Of course you were good to me! It's just...this is very sudden and I thought you might want to kill for me accidentally taking that with me..."
Smaug barely glanced at the treasure, "Admittedly, I did want to devour you." Smaug said bluntly, but then he grinned, "And then I wanted to devour you." Bilbo blushed horribly at the insinuation, "And I think I should!" He continued, "Stealing is illegal, hurtful, and wrong. You should be taught a lesson."
"That is incredibly ironic." Bilbo stated, ignoring the hinted desire.
"I'm a Dragon." Smaug reminded with a smile, "We aren't exactly given the same stature as Elves, Dwarves, Men, or Hobbits."
"You're a what?"
Bilbo and Smaug froze upon hearing Thorin's voice. The Dwarf walked to them with suspicion but mainly concern in regards of the naked Elf-man essentially hovering above Bilbo. The tension building between the two was rapidly escalating and Bilbo noticed a glow in Smaug's eyes knowing that the fire-drake within him was stirring.
"He's delusional." Bilbo stated rapidly and sighed when the glow vanished. "It's natural isn't?"
"How so?" Thorin asked skeptically.
"Well he's been kept as Smaug's prisoner for quite some time now," Bilbo lied, nervously eying Smaug as to silently signal him to follow his lead. "But he hasn't been devoured. Being so close to danger and yet still alive will undoubtedly unnerve anyone and play with his or her sanity."
"You never mentioned Smaug kept a prisoner." Thorin stated.
"I-I was under shock..." Bilbo stated, "Which is only natural considering I did emerge from Erebor as a roasted Hobbit."
He then noticed Smaug's head lower apologetically and rolled his eyes at the adorable gesture.
"Of course...how inconsiderate of me..." Thorin said slowly, training his eyes on the naked Elf. "Why is he naked?"
"Clothes are annoying." Smaug stated, frowning.
"See?" Bilbo asked with a nervous smile, "Insane."
"Definitely." Thorin agreed. "I must admit, this is the first time I've seen an Elf so...unstable."
"Yes, well, death and all can change a man." Bilbo reminded quickly before Smaug could speak again.
"Right." Thorin concluded and turned his attention to the Elf, "Now, Elf, I reckon you find clothes to be bothersome but you will cover yourself. Not only is it indecent but you're more vulnerable completely unprotected. We don't have any shirts or trousers in your size so until we return to Laketown, you'll have to wear a blanket."
"And if I refuse?" Smaug defied.
"You'll die." Thorin said.
"But it's a good thing he won't refuse." Bilbo laughed nervously, "Because the question was only hypothetical, wasn't it?"
"Yes." Smaug gritted through his fangs.
"Good," Thorin said, "And one last thing."
"What?" Smaug hissed.
"What's your name?" Thorin asked.
Bilbo froze, wondering what Smaug would answer and hoping he wouldn't muck up his lies.
"Sherlock!" Bilbo blurted out. And upon seeing Thorin's quizzical look, he lied again. "It was the only information I had gotten from him before Smaug attacked."
"Well, Sherlock," Thorin said, accepting the information, "here's a blanket." He grabbed a blanket which he tossed at the Elf.
"Sherlock?" Smaug whispered to Bilbo in discontent as Thorin began to explain how their actions would change what with the arrival of an unexpected addition. "That's a horrendous name!"
"It was the first name that came to mind!" Bilbo defended quietly, "It was better than delivering your actual name!"
"I wasn't going to do that!" Smaug declared, "I was going to say Sebastian!"
"Oh...well it's too late now, isn't it Sherlock?" Bilbo grinned.
Eventually, a smile formed on Smaug's face, "I suppose so." He said and kissed him.
"What are you two doing?" Thorin interrupted them, again.
Bilbo pulled away immediately, blushing horribly. He desperately tried to think up another lie when Smaug unfortunately spoke first. "It's how Elves greet Hobbits!" he declared, "They're our neighboring race, our cousins if you will, not that you would know, being a filthy Dwarf and all."
And as the evident rage arose within Thorin, Bilbo's heart plummeted to the depths of his chest. "You rotten Elf!" Thorin snapped angrily. "We've saved you from the hungry claws of a Dragon and you thank us with insults!?"
"Please, both of you, stop!" Bilbo interjected, "You'll wake the Dragon!"
Though they did stop arguing, Smaug having understood the silent message and Thorin being legitimately worried about awaking the fire-breathing beast, their tension prevailed. And even if Thorin had accepted Smaug as an Elf rather than the Dragon he was, Bilbo still had a long way to go explain the sudden disappearance of the fire-drake and convincing the rest of the company that it was now safe to return to Erebor and they wouldn't be attacked.
And finally, a month later, Bilbo was dismissed by his friends and given the equipment and ponies necessary to return home with his portion of the gold he was promised. Smaug obviously sulked at the small amount given and declared that Bilbo had undertaken the most dangerous task of them all and deserved a larger reward but the latter soon warned him that he wouldn't allow him to return to the Shire with him if he continued to whine greedily. Thus Smaug stopped speaking completely until they were miles away from Erebor and Laketown.
"You'll have to live without gold and greed." Bilbo warned. "The Shire is a lovely, quaint place and I will not tolerate you disrupting its peace by claiming more treasure and riches, understood?"
"Perfectly." Smaug smiled and pulled Bilbo from his pony and onto his horse as to snuggle him, "As long as I have you, I've no need for nothing else."