I do not own Twilight. Please read and then review! Thank you!
Edward lights a smoke and takes his time before answering.
"Let's just say. I wasn't aware of the true influence I had. I merely assumed I was making love and talking a bunch of nonsense. Nonsense, in which I knew to be impossible. I was simply in the heat of the moment. I mouthed off my deepest desires. I hadn't realized... I mean…if I had…" He sighs as if conflicted and finishes his cigarette.
"No… not even then… I wouldn't have taken it back even then…"
Bella had passed out in my arms not long after. I was laid back clearing my mind of everything. I didn't want to think about the Volturi, or other recent events, hell selfishly I didn't even want to think about the coven. I was off in my own little fantasy land. I stared about the ceiling as my pitiable little fantasy continued to play out. That in which had much to do with my dream from earlier.
My land had become invaded. Bella let out this toe curling shriek in her sleep. She was screaming out my name in terror. Her heart rate was through the roof.
"Hey…" I reached over and went to shake her awake.
She nearly fell out of the bed. I quickly yanked her back over and she screamed out again. The girl was still out cold.
"Bella… wake up sweetheart." I said as I lay her down on the bed.
Her eyes flew open. She gasped out as though she'd been holding her breath. Bella scooted back in the bed. She brought her knees to her chest.
"Edward?" She spoke softly.
I nod and looked to her with concern.
"You're ok?" She questions her body trembled.
She nods and a few tears fell from her eyes. I reached out to her. I took her hand pulling her back towards me.
"It was just a dream Bella."
She starts checking my entire body over. I take her hands and shake my head.
"Stop… I'm fine."
"I'm going to kill that BITCH!"
I raise a brow on this. I didn't say anything. Bella's entire face was red. Her heart still hadn't slowed down. She puts her hands to my cheeks. Tears still glistened in her eyes. Part of me wanted to hate how she was fussing over me. However, another part of me took some sort of sick pleasure in this. Only adding to how much of a monster I can truly be. I liked knowing that Bella cared about whether I got hurt or not. If anything it made me feel more human. Still the last thing Bella needed was to concern herself with my wellbeing. She's the vulnerable one. I wanted her to care more about that! She'd no business talking about killing another vampire.
I shake my head as I come to my feet. I throw on a white tank and blue jeans.
"That's enough." I say and grab a cigarette.
I nod assuredly and head towards the bedroom door.
"She almost killed you!"
"I'm not even about to go over the logic to all this. If she can do that to me; just imagine what she could do to you."
"So that's it?! Yet again you're pulling the puny human card AGAIN! I'm not allowed to FEEL ANYTHING!"
"I never said that."
"No, but you're thinking it aren't you? I can just imagine what goes through that head of yours. Edward Fucking Mason Cullen Mr. Bad Ass Vampire who needs no one's fucking help right? Especially, that of his of his human girlfriend!"
I shrug knowing it'd just piss her off. Ok… that's another thing. I'm rather guilty of. Often enough, I just like getting under her skin. As I've mentioned before Bella's rather hot when she's pissed. Sometimes I actually like testing her; just to see what else comes flying out of that mouth of hers. Unlike the others I can't read Bella. I'd find often enough if I continue to push her to her breaking point. All sorts of things come flying out of those lovely lips of hers.
I take my zippo from my jean pocket.
"You seriously aren't just walking away from me."
I fought the urge to grin and kept walking. My coven was in the living area as I entered the room the each gave me an oh shit look. Bella threw on one of my shirts and her panties. She stormed out of the room following me. Bree's eyes were that of an owls as Bella roughly grabbed my arm.
"I HAVE FEELINGS YOU NARCISSISTIC ASS!"
Emmett quickly covered his mouth and turned his head. He was losing it big time. He seemed to take joy in the fact that Bella had no issue in trying to set me straight. He found it completely amusing. For one thing he knew only Bella could get away with talking to me that way.
"How can you just shrug this off?! You act as if nothing even happened! I saw Edward. I saw what she did to you! I thought you had died!" She takes both of her hands and shoves me back. Bella heads back to the bedroom and slams the door.
I step outside and light my cigarette. She comes out not long after fully dressed. She walks right on past me and keeps walking.
"Where you going?"
She ignores me and keeps up the stride.
"Now who's being an ass?!" I utter, but with a grin.
She turns around and her jaw drops.
"You find humor in this?!"
I nod and take a long drag.
"OH MY GOD!" She shouts on top of her lungs and starts to walk away again.
I clear my throat and grow serious.
"No one's ever done that for me you know."
She stops, but keeps her back to me.
"And what would that be Edward?"
"I think we both know sweetheart." I say softly, but enough so she can hear me.
"I suppose what I'm trying to say is thank you Bella."
This girl's heart rate went chaotic as hell. You'd have thought I'd just brought on the apocalypse. She slowly turns back facing me. I nod with full gratitude. I remembered what she'd done. Truly, I was grateful and I meant it. Bella nods. I make my way over and drop my cigarette stomping it out. I wrap my arms around her and kissed her neck.
"So I'm narcissistic?"
She softly giggles against me.
"Hmm…" I breathe her in and close my eyes for a moment. She smelled different somehow. I took in another whiff curiously. I'd swear she was even more potent. Yet there was something else behind the scent. I just couldn't pinpoint it.
"Just do me one favor at least."
"Could you at least wait until you're a vampire? You know before you begin plotting the deaths of others?"
She laughs, but sighs directly after.
"Fine… does that mean I can kill her then?"
I wish… Bella hadn't a clue when it came to the Volturi.
"Bella, unfortunately the Volturi is off limits."
"So you're saying they can simply bully whoever they wish? While having no consequences of their own in which to pay?"
I sigh and pull back looking her in the eyes.
"Bella, you've much to learn in the ways of a vampire. One of the most important is you must watch your back when it comes to the Volturi. Don't you think I'd have fought back if I knew it were possible."
"When it comes to the Volturi we are greatly outnumbered. Not only that, but there are others with certain abilities as well. Such as Jane's only I will admit she and Alec are the powerhouses or so it seems."
"Jane was the blonde that attacked me. Her brother Alec is the one that led you out of the car."
"The boy that looked like a girl?"
I have a good laugh at this.
"So you're telling me that once I become a vampire. I'm the Volturi's bitch?"
"Hmm… that's not exactly how I'd put it."
"So no one ever stands up to these guys?"
"Bella they rule over all vampire covens."
"That doesn't make sense why don't the covens team up and fight?"
I half laugh.
"First of all you do remember the Denali coven right?"
"Well that's pg in comparison to some of the others. Some I've allies in and have known for many years. Other's I'd love nothing more than to see their heads on pikes. It'd take a miracle for the covens to join up in the one cause that would be standing against the Volturi. Not only that, but in some ways the Volturi can be a good thing. They keep order in the vampire world. We truly wish to be kept undiscovered and to have some sort of protection. The Volturi can give us that peace of mind. Such as how as a whole we are governed in this nation. Same thing with the Volturi.
"But why Kings? Why more than one and way not make it more like a democracy. Why must everything be up to three douchebags that deem themselves worthy of rule?"
God this woman… I love her! I take in a breath.
"I've a feeling you're going to keep my hands full as a bride. You're far too witty for your own damn good. When it comes to these opinions though that stays between us; I mean it. You voice this to the wrong vampire or to the Volturi themselves. You're going to get us all fucked. I will say this much. I happen to agree with you. I myself have often wondered what it would be like if the vampire law; was run like that much of the country in which we live. It only makes sense. Unfortunately, it's run more like The Godfather."
"So they're a bunch of mobsters?"
I chuckle a bit.
"Damn near. Sure feels like it often enough. They love to make threats as though they were."
She gets a certain smirk about her.
"What?" I question in wonder.
"Oh I was just thinking about how Jane looked like a character from Children of The Corn or something."
I die in laughter.
"Bella, you're something else."
I start to walk her on home. Nothing else was really said between us on the argument that took place. That seemed to be our thing as of late. We were easier to let things go. What fights we did have lately were quick to die down. I was beginning to see things differently. When it came to this alone; it just wasn't worth it. To keep pushing something; I knew deep down; wouldn't come down to a full on agreement. We fight enough to voice our concerns, our feelings, and such. But there was now a silent understanding between Bella and I. Just let it go… it wasn't worth it. There was more to our relationship. To our future even. I knew what all Bella was giving up just to be with me. Just loving me alone was a risk. Bella was giving up her entire human existence for me! I wasn't about to let her last few months be in utter misery because she's got a vampire boyfriend that can be a real dick. Soon Bella would be saying goodbye to anything human related and hello to the life of a vampire. To me these were Bella's most important moments and memories to collect. This to was crucial. I wanted her to have it all.
I knew the thing that would hurt the most; would be losing Charlie and visa versa. I myself had grown rather fond of Charlie. He's an extraordinary being. Sure he's somewhat questionable as a father even more so as a human. Nevertheless, like Bella he too had a heart of gold. He'd honorably do anything for his daughter. For that alone Charlie had my full respect. Also leading me to often enough feel like the villain in this story. I was stealing the one thing he had. The one thing that kept Charlie sane. I found myself often enough; trying to think of other ways to go about this. In some ways I wanted to save Charlie Swan from a world of heartache. I just wasn't sure how. Not without breaking even more rules than I have already and putting his life at risk. It was bad enough I'd already put Bella's at risk. I did that the moment I called her into that bathroom and fed from her the first time. The moment I realized I'd never be done with Bella Swan. I was addicted from that instant on.
I was thinking of that day as we were almost to her house. My mouth watered in thought. I gently pull her over to me. I press her up against one of the trees. There truly was something about her scent I couldn't get over it. I felt even more territorial as I took it in. I kissed her precious lips and worked my way along her neck. I licked upon it teasingly. I continued along her shoulders. I came back up scrapping my fangs along the crevice of her neck. I looked down to see Bella's hand down her jeans. The girl wasn't even aware. She was lost. I wasn't about to interrupt the show either. I breathed her in smelling her arousal. There was a particular area I'd not tried to feed from yet. I looked Bella in the eyes.
"I'm going to orally pleasure you then I'm going to feed." Only I didn't tell her where from… I was curious as to what her natural reaction would be. I look around the area once more making sure we hadn't any watchful eyes.
Without another thought; I yanked down her jeans and panties. I couldn't wait to taste her. As always Bella tasted so sweet as always it was hard to stop once I started. Her moans alone only added to the urge to keep going and never stop. Once I've got her to climax a few times. I lifted her right leg up. I lapped my tongue over the area I desired. Then I took the plunge upon her inner thigh with my fangs. Bella literally cried out in full pleasure. To be perfectly honest her reaction and the because, of sensuality to this. I came in my pants not figuratively. I full on shot a load in my boxers. I wasn't even touching myself. This was just from her reaction to what I was doing. She had me so over heated I full on came. Her cries and she tasted so fucking good. She was dripping directly into my mouth I couldn't get enough. I forced myself to stop. It wasn't that long ago I'd damn near drained her in order to heal. Now I was feeding from her again. Last thing I wanted was to cause her to become anemic or worse.
I raise back up and lower her leg.
"Your body will now heal itself. You're going to kiss me and head on home. I want you to have a nice father and daughter night."
She nods. I fix her clothing and make certain there's nothing out of place. She kisses me and blushes a bit.
"I can taste myself."
I wiggle my brows on this.
"Can you now?"
"So how do you taste?"
"Hmm…" I stopped at this; choosing to at least pretend I was a gentleman.
I kiss her hand as we come to her door.
"I'll pick you up for school in the morning."
Things were semi normal for the next few days. Until we were all sitting in the cafeteria later on. Alice was sitting in Emmett's lap. We'd been talking about prom and graduation. We wanted Bella to understand. We may not be able to stay in Forks much longer. We talked about college or returning to high school. Bella and Jasper didn't seem too keen on returning to school. Justly, I couldn't blame Bella. It was her graduation coming up. Yet there were talks of us returning to high school all over again. Verbatim hell for a teenage human who wants to start over?
"I was thinking about going rebellious."
Jasper questions with a smirk. Bella nods.
"Oh yeah big time."
I cocked a brow at the little beam on her face.
"Defying the master's orders and all." She hints.
Emmett and Jasper start laughing.
"And just how do you presume you'll to do that?" I inquire.
"You think I'm going to tell you?"
Bree's the one laughing this time. I cut her a look and she quickly covers her mouth. I could hear her still laughing. Jasper smiled putting his arm around her.
"It's time to shake things up a bit."
However, Alice for once was stone faced. Normally, she's laughing along with Bella. Her mind was somewhere else. Emmett took notice as well. He kissed along her shoulders and wrapped his arms around her waist.
"You alright babe?"
She just sat there for a bit longer. Then she belts out the one thing no one ever expected and loud enough for everyone in the entire cafeteria to hear. She looks directly to Bella in utter and complete shock. She hops right out of Emmett's lap. Alice points directly at Bella.
Bella's face was priceless. So was mine I'm sure. I couldn't believe Alice!
"SIT DOWN!" I barked crossly.
Alice's eyes widen once she'd realized what she'd truly done. Everyone was now looking upon us; mainly, Bella. Poor Bella's entire body lit up with a red hue to it. She looked to Alice in disbelief.
"Why would you say that Alice?" Bella pleaded softly.
Alice doesn't even look upon Bella. She looks upon me.
"You got her pregnant?! HOW?!"
I reared back. I couldn't believe the shit that was pouring from her mouth. I jump to my feet and walk over. I yank Alice up by the arm and drag her outside. I pin her back against the wall.
"YOU had better have a good explanation. What the fuck just happened in there?!"
"I can't believe you compelled her. Just to get what you wanted!" She snaps back at me.
"What are you talking about?!"
"You know damn well what I'm talking about Edward!"
"You had better STEP THE FUCK DOWN AND REALIZE WHO YOU'RE TALKING TO!"
The rest of the coven and Bella step out at this point. Bree had a protective hold on Bella. Part of her feared that Alice or myself would harm her.
"How could you do that to her Edward?! You didn't even give her a choice!"
Bella looks to me incongruously.
"What's going on Edward?"
"I haven't a clue!" I yap staring upon Alice.
Alice looks directly back to Bella.
"You're pregnant because, he demanded it!"
A full on growl escapes my mouth. The urge to backhand the living hell out of Alice came about. She was full on disrespecting me. That and she were truly pissed with me.
"What will the Volturi do to us now Edward?! To her! They're going to want Bella now Edward!" She spouts off again.
I grab her shoulders and look her in the eyes.
"YOU WILL GO HOME NOW ALICE!"
Without another word she nods and vanishes.
"Go set your bride straight!"
Emmett nods and takes off.
"You two go back to your business!"
I was so irate it was taking everything in my power; not to deal with Alice myself. I'd never seen her act that way before. Especially towards me! I won't stand for any coven member even my own bride to disrespect me in such a way. However, I looked upon Bella and realized. I was angrier in the fact that Alice had completely humiliated Bella in front of everyone!
I turn back to a very ghostly Bella.
"Vampires can't have children." She says softly.
"That's right Bella we can't. Alice seems to think she's had some sort of vision pertaining to you being pregnant."
"What did she mean by you demanded it?"
I pinch my eyes shut for a moment.
"She doesn't know what she's talking about Bella. You said so yourself it's impossible. So let's just drop it. Alice is just having a moment."
Bella narrows her eyes and runs a hand upon her tummy. I half laugh.
"Sweetheart you're not pregnant. A vampire cannot reproduce."
She nods, but I saw the gears in that head of hers turning.
"But that one night…"
I take in a breath.
"What did you mean… when you said you wanted it all everything?"
I shake my head.
"Bella just let this go."
"I want to know."
"Please just tell me!"
I rub my face miserably.
"You really don't want to do this. I need you to trust me and drop this."
"You want me to trust you then just tell me, please!"
I look around and take in a deep breath.
"When you've been alone for as long as I have. You can't help, but to have certain thoughts."
"And what were these thoughts?"
"I don't want to hurt you Bella."
"Why would you hurt me?"
"You may think my thoughts very unrealistic and hurtful. I do not wish for you to think I'm not happy with our situation. That couldn't be further from the truth. To me you are the dream."
Dammit… Why does she insist on pushing these issues? Issues, in which can never truly be solved. So much for letting it go.
"I have had thoughts of marriage, children… Typical human stuff that vampire do not partake in. It's all complete nonsense."
Bella covers her mouth and nods.
"That doesn't mean I'm not content with our present or our future. Please do not take it as such."
She shakes her head and few tears form in her eyes, but she's smiling.
"Bella?" I felt alarmed.
"I thought I was selfish for having those thoughts as well." She admits.
"You mean…" She nods.
"Edward I thought that's what you meant. When we were making love the other night; I thought that's what you were trying to tell me. That you wished we could have a child."
I let out a nervous chuckle.
"I was Bella…" I whisper softly.
I take her hand.
"I'm sorry I shouldn't have said those things. I apologize for Alice as well. Yes I do wish we could have a child one day. We both know that to be impossible. It's just one of those things I'd always regretted. That I never had the will to have a family of my own. But you and the coven you are my family. I'm only sorry that I cannot give you everything your heart desires as well. If I could Bella I'd love to grow old with you. We'd have children. Then we'd possibly have a big golden lab running around the yard of a lovely Victorian house. That being said though you must know that this… this right here is what I want." I point to her heart.
"With that I can die happy."
And that's about as sappy as you can get right? Not my typical cup of tea. Not what you expect to hear out of a vicious vampire's mouth. Yet, Bella had a way about her. She had a way of bringing out the humanity I fought so hard to keep at bay. With her though I finally was beginning to see; that I could be myself truly. The good, the bad, hell even the ugly of Edward Mason. She wasn't at all offended if anything Bella… well she seemed relieved. The smile hadn't left her face.
"So we were both thinking the same thing…" She says in a whisper.
"That night I mean... When you said what you did. I remembered how you were with that little girl."
"What little girl?"
"The one at the theater that was with Seth and the others."
I nod remembering now.
"Ah, yes the kryptonite?"
She giggles a bit.
"Yeah, that'd be the one."
She sighs and wipes her eyes. I lean over and kiss her forehead.
"Now everyone's going to assume I'm the statistic." She utters looking back to the cafeteria.
I shook my head in thought. I could tell she was truly mortified. Who could blame her? I still can't believe Alice ousted her like that. Even if she was pregnant and Alice saw it coming; what right did she have to pull something like that?! She knew better. I get that her visions can be rough at times and they can often enough floor her. But Alice just didn't think and she just put Bella and myself in a very bad situation. This is a small town for one thing. Word gets out fast. Next thing I know Charlie will be forcing a pregnancy test in Bella's direction. Whilst, aiming a gun right for my head. Nonetheless, even through all this drama. I kept proving to myself just how selfish I truly was. I wished Alice was right. I wanted Bella nice and knocked up. Yeah I know… idiot…jerk even is a better word for it. I knew how wrong the very thoughts were. Through everything Bella's already sacrificed and done for me yet again I keep foaming at the mouth wanting more.
From there I was simply letting it go. I'd deal with Alice when I got back. I was simply thankful Bella was ok even through all that. We sure got some odd looks throughout the day. That wasn't the worst part. I could read their minds. I wanted to smack the shit out of some of the students. One in particular, that even had the mind to think to herself ; that she always knew Bella was a little slut.
Edward looks up at this point. He chuckles a bit and lights a cigarette. The interviewer swallows back a bit. She continues to type. He props his feet on the desk and looks out the window.
"I keep asking myself would I take it back if I could go back? Would that have fixed everything? The answer is always the same."
He finishes his cigarette. He looks off to the storm blowing in.
"No…" He pinches the bridge of his nose.
"Over and over I replay the events. I keep trying to come up with a different scenario. All in which keep leading me right back to here. All because I was selfish; all because I wasn't truly aware of the power within my grasp. Some would feel as though a god to know they could do the things I can. I never truly realized just how much influence I could have on the human body or mind for that matter. Now here I am. Talking to you of all people. Trying to get the truth out there! I've grown more and more desperate as time progresses."
The interviewer looks up. A few tears fell from Edward Cullen's eyes.
"This one does…"
The interviewer sighs and narrows her eyes.
"Where is she Edward?"
"We're getting to that…" He sighs with fisted hands.
"Sooner than you think…"
He looks up from his cigarette.
He nods, but looks back out the window.
It was that night I got the call… That wonderful, brilliant, call… I'd just ripped into Alice about what she'd pulled. She apologized thoroughly and we were setting things straight. In fact I was still regarding Alice as she sat in front of me at the table.
"Missing me already sweetheart…?" I answer seeing it was Bella.
I come to my feet. The sound of her voice caught my attention full throttle.
"Are you alright?"
"What's wrong Bella you sound different…"
"I think we owe Alice a big apology."
My eyes dart back towards Alice.
"Now why would that be?"
"Please don't be mad…"
"Why would I be mad Bella?"
"For my own peace of mind I got a pregnancy test…"
My entire body became still. Alice nevertheless, leaned back and folded her arms about her chest. A small smile formed on her face. SHIT!
"And what did it say Bella?"
"I'm a statistic…"
I nod and hang up the phone. I went into shock I think. A zombie phase came over me as I just sat there. I just hung up on my knocked up girlfriend. I wasn't even thinking about that. I'm a master of the Olympic coven in Washington. I've already built up a small list. In which the Volturi is soon to pay a visit over. I've now managed to impregnate my human high school girlfriend. Was there even a rule against that? I mean I don't think one even exist. There is only a rule against creating newborn children. There is no rule in which it says we cannot procreate. You know why?! Because that's just it... It's NEVER BEEN DONE! These things don't happen! They just DON'T! NOT in the world of a vampire. NO! But clearly I was wrong. I was wrong about a lot of things. I needed to learn to quit saying something's impossible. I've been eating those words a lot as of late. It seems since I've met the lovely Isabella Marie Swan that I couldn't be more wrong.
Through all my fear and frozen state of utter and complete shock. Part of me was celebrating. Yes I'm that FUCKED UP! Was I going to live the dream after all?
Edward comes to his feet. He tears the next book in half.
"This next one is the MOST important. It is also the key. It will be the last entry…" A smile however, forms along his face still a hint of sadness about it...
Edward whispers the words.