DISCLAIMER: I do not own Bleach.
A/N: So it isn't exactly a story, but just Toushirou's rant.
I see no logical basis why people would always say that I am in love with Kurosaki Karin. Once and for all, I am clearing it out to everyone—I don't have any feeling for that woman.
No. Nothing. Zero. Squat.
Who the hell came up with that stupid idea, anyway? Pray to Kami that I will not be able to find out, or else, I'll give them the privilege to choose in between Ryūsenka, Hyōryū Senbi, Sennen Hyōrō, or whatever ice attack they please.
Kurosaki Karin, huh? Now please do tell why I will fall for her. That woman is very much like her brother; troublesome, disrespectful and unthinking. Uh-huh, definitely a Kurosaki Ichigo version one-point-five. Not pleasing at the very least.
She's very irritating. Sometimes, I wonder if it's already part of her daily existence to chafe me. The way she calls me a kid, the way she treats me like one, the way she makes fun of my height,—I am taller than her, for crying out loud!—the way she ruffles my hair, the way she tries to bribe me with candies when she needs something from me, the way she comments that I'm like an old man because of my interests. Yes, her ways. Every single of it annoys me to no end! There's nothing likable about any of those. And now people are saying that I like her? No less, I love her? Oh, please.
Hinamori points out that Karin is the only person I let to call me by my first name. That pseudo-sister of mine tells that I am unfair because she always gets reprimanded every time she calls me 'Shiro-chan' or 'Hitsugaya-kun.'
Because, that's inappropriate, I am telling you. I am still a commanding officer, so she ought to address me like one. Beyond what has been stated, I find it uncomfortable when people refers to me casually.
Now, why then, Karin can get away on that? It's not a volition on my part; she just insists to. And, I don't already want to correct her since, I know, my attempt will just end up futile.
Be that as it may, others still believe that there's a better reason than what has been given. Nosy people. Don't they have anything better to do than prying into someone's business?
In the wake of my well-thought explanation, other few questions are thrown at me; how about the other Kurosaki? That one with orange hair? They say I always tell him to call me 'Captain Hitsugaya,' even knowing that it's not going to sink into his narrow mind. Isn't that the same in the Kurosaki woman's case? Except I'm letting it slip when it comes to her? In addition, why is it so easy for me to call her by her given name in return?
First, whoever thought of those questions, start digging your own grave now. I am going to hunt you down, and I'll be pleased to test my completed bankai on you. And then, to give my answer;—I don't even know why I am still responding to these senseless queries—Kurosaki Ichigo is a shinigami representative, whereas Karin is not. Do you really think it is necessary to make her call me 'Captain Hitsugaya' if she doesn't even have any concern regarding Soul Society? Kurosaki Ichigo's case is on business-basis, while Karin is an acquaintance.
Acquaintance, nothing more.
Again, the idea of calling her on first-name-basis is against my free discretion. That Kurosaki woman is persistent, is the truth. She reasons out that it's confusing when I keep calling every member of her family by their last name. Hence, I call her 'Karin.' She has a point, after all.
But, I am going to make it plain now. I don't find her name sweet. I never like the sound of mine when it rolls from her tongue. There's no wonderful feeling every time I utter hers.
Nuh-uh. Never. Not going to happen.
My ever free-spirited and obtuse second-in-command remarks that I can never say 'no' to Karin. What does she know? Tch, I am going to make sure she'll have her fair share of paperworks for a year. When I found her sake stash to use as a threat, that is.
Anyway, 'I can never say 'no' to Karin' is a false statement. Just because I am doing everything—almost everything, anyway—she asks doesn't mean I can't give a refusal on her. It is more like I can't stand her continuous pestering. If I decline, she'll not leave me alone. So to have it quickly done, and have her stop bugging me, I'll just already do her requests.
It's not because of those puppy-dog eyes, and those pouted lips that she's always flashing on me, mind you. Don't even get the idea that I can't resist them. I am more composed than people are giving me a credit.
Plus, she's not even cute with that childish display. Kurosaki Karin and cute in a sentence. Hah, in dreams.
I really hate it when she's being stubborn, when she doesn't want to listen at anyone's warning. For once, can't she just let other people to protect her, and have her no-thanks-I-can-handle-myself behavior fall? She aggravates me every time she decides to run into a hollow, or any danger, without much of a thinking. Is she even considering the fact that she may get herself injured, or worse, killed? Does she really think she stands a chance against those? She's an extraordinary being alright,—noble shinigami and quincy bloods are running on her system, that's not unbeknownst to everyone—but still, she's stupid for always putting her life in peril.
Now, don't get me started again. I am not worrying about her. Moreover, I am not saying that I want to be her protector. Don't even dare to think that I wish she'll act like a damsel-in-distress sometimes, then I'll be her knight who will sweep her in my arms. No, I never dream of something as absurd as that. Stupid human romantic tales.
I am just trying to point out that she's an idiot for always disregarding the consequences of her actions. I am saying that she's an obstinate woman who doesn't know how to be grateful when someone offers her a hand. If only she'll be subdued, once in a while.
I still don't get what the people's basis is to imply that I am head over heels for her.
Completely unyielding woman. She always makes me fly off the handle.
Then, there's her smile. Damn! That smile. I hate it. It always gives me those uneasy feelings.
Who wants to have their stomach doing somersaults, anyway?
Then, someone asks me why my face will suddenly heat up.
That's because the weather is too hot. The sun is burning my face! That's blatantly obvious!
However, in a devil's way of luck, that reason is not going to suit if the atmosphere is freezing.
Furthermore, the atypical thumping of this little organ against my chest is not making any sense, in one way. Because, technically, I'm already dead.
What's my excuse, this time?
Well, the reason is...
The reason is...
Are reasons always necessary to make your point clear?
My point here is, I am not in love with Kurosaki Karin.
No one has the concrete evidence to prove that I am.
So I would like to repeat; I am not in love with Kurosaki Karin.
A/N: I'll just leave it to you to decide whether you'll believe him or not. :3