Chapter One – Relativity
Title:Through the Window Came the Wind
Author : lifelesslyndsey
Disclaimer: It might not mah sandbox, but I'm building castles. But I'm not profiting from them.
Warning: language, and adult concepts in probably graphic citrusy detail.
Summary: If I imprinting was less about finding that perfect some one, and more about finding that some one who makes you perfect, you never know where you might find it. Love might bring out the best in us, but first it brings out the worst.
A/Nthis isn't beta'd yet. *It is now, boobuluh. ~ MsEC*
A/N See notes at bottom of chapter for reasoning behind re-post. Chapters should go up daily.
Throughout the course of our lives, we run away from much. From the truth, from responsibility, from ourselves; the fact of the matter is that much of our life is spent running from something. I found myself running from the past, from monsters. But I was like a dog with its tail; I only ever went in circles. Probably because I didn't know where else to go.
Too much of our time is spent attempting to fight stigma. I know I am not the man my father was, but I find myself fighting to prove it anyway. It seemed the world would offer me a cornucopia of chances to prove myself otherwise. Instead of the coward Joshua had been, I'd been thrust into the position of leader. I never wanted to prove myself, I just wanted to be. But I was anything but a coward, so when the time came for me to lead, I led. I endeavored to be a good son, a good man, while striving to be myself; discover myself while holding my head high and forcing myself to never waver. When the time came to teach, I taught. When the time came to fight, I fought. And after awhile, that was all I knew how to do.
"Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. That'srelativity."
- Albert Einstein
"That was Bella, on her cell," Billy said, hanging the phone up on its hook. His expression was disdainful. He didn't mean to judge, it wasn't his way, but his boy was a mess and he blamed the Cullens and, by proxy, the girl. Hell, we all did. The Swan girl's affiliation with them burnt him in a way that wasn't her fault, but that didn't take the sting out of it. "Said she's walking here. Idjit."
"Dad," Jacob pleaded, looking a little too broken for my liking, on the couch, his head hanging in his hands. Never did well with emotions and the boy was full of them. "Please."
"She ain't good for you, Jake," Billy said, flinching when Jacob's shoulders trembled. "She's so hung up on them, son. She can't see past it. Blinded by a bunch'a bullshit."
"She was," he argued, and I could attest to as much, but I wasn't about to speak out against Billy, an Elder. Wasn't done, not by me, even if I had so much to say. "She was doing better, getting past it. God, Dad. You saw her; you know she was getting better."
"She ain't good for you," Billy repeated. "She didn't love you, Jake. She loved that summabitch leech, and I don't want to see you getting your heart broke."
"I know she didn't love me," Jake said, hands shaking. "But she was my friend."
He sounded like a child; they all did at first. It wouldn't last, I thought. Nothing ever did, on the Rez.
"Any friend of theirs Jake, ain't no friend of yours," Billy said roughly, crunching his beer can in his palm as if to prove a point. He was power past its prime but that did not mean he held no reigns. If anything, he held more with age.
I bit my tongue, and laid a hand on Jacob, curled it over his trembling shoulder. Billy thought they were monsters. But what were we, if not monsters in our own right? They'd done nothing to wrong us, kept to their parts, and struggled to do right by the world. I hadn't asked to be a wolf and I doubted they'd ask to be vampires. Didn't feel right to judge them for what they couldn't help.
I didn't say as much; I never did.
"I'll take her home," I said, giving Jake a squeeze. He looked grateful, if not a little broken, and I could see the disappointment in Billy's eyes as I passed him. "That's Charlie's kid, you know," I said gently. "His little girl, his daughter. You got girls out there, Billy. You want them walking in the rain by themselves? Especially with what we've been smelling lately?" It was as far as I would push it, but it was enough. The disappointment crumbled, begrudging, but gone.
"Charlie needs to keep a leash on that girl," Billy said with a huff. "Damn bitch Renee done fucked her all up."
It was easy to blame a mother who wasn't there to defend herself, so I let him, pushing out the screen door, and letting it smack shut behind me. I had a lot of respect for the man, but my Momma taught me you never talked about a woman, no matter the woman, like that. Billy could talk a lotta shit about Renee, but his Sarah hadn't exactly been a saint.
From what I heard tell, they'd been thick as thieves back in their day. Wild women.
I found her, sopping wet on the side of the road, trudging along like a women on a war path. I pulled up behind her, but she paid me no mind, simply tugged the red hood of her jacket up further and huffed roughly. "Swan," I said, hopping out of my truck and shaking my head as the rain fell, painting cool paths on my hot skin. "Come on, get in the truck."
"Sam Uley, right?" she said, walking along as I followed, not even bothering to look me in the eye. I could smell the vodka on her, hear the bottle sloshing in the bag on her shoulder. Drunk. Of course I'd find her drunk. That was what my life had become; ruling over rebellious teens. "You ain't taking me back, Sam. I don't know what the fuck you're up to with Jake and the others, but I want to see him."
She was drunk and worked up; too much energy and no where to put it. It wouldn't do any good to stop her the way she was. I let her walk, figuring as wet as she was, a little more rain wasn't going to hurt her and it was just best to let her wear herself out. "It isn't safe," I said at last, watching her press on. "You know about safe, Swan?"
She faltered, foot slipping in the mud, but never paused. "Be safe," she murmured, fists clenched at her sides. I couldn't see her face, but I could hear the frown. "Fuck safe. I never needed safe. All I need is Jake."
"Come on Swan," I said, falling in step behind her. "Let's go back to the truck. I'll take you home. Like I said, it isn't safe out here, alone like this."
She rounded on me then, stopping short and spinning, anger burning in her eyes, bitter as raw cinnamon. "What do you know about safe, Sam Uley? What the hell do you know?"
It was instant. Through the window came the wind, and blew my life apart. Her freckles were dark against her pale skin, speckled across the bridge of her nose and cheek bones. I was frozen, too heavy and too light all at once as I found myself cemented to reason and purpose. She blinked, and I stared, open mouthed, rain catching on my lip. I knew what was happening; that much was instinctual. "I know about vampires," I said, because she'd asked me a question, and I didn't have it in me to lie; not to her, not any more. "About the Cullens."
"What," she said, breathless and slurred. "I...no. I don't know what your talking about."
It hurt that she'd lie to me, but I knew better than to dwell. Imprinting; what a twisted thorn in my already fucked up life. "You don't have to protect them from me, Swan. I know what they are."
Her mouth fell open, closed, and open again as she looked at the mud beneath her feet. "How?" She asked finally, tilting her head up to look at me. "I mean..."
I could see her breath when she exhaled, warm against the cold air. "Let's go back to the truck."
"I can't go home," she said, swallowing. "Charlie can't see me like this. I um...I thought maybe Jake would talk to me. I...uh. Does he know...about the Cullens? Is that why he won't talk to me?"
"Billy Black is why he won't talk to you," I said, turning expectantly. She fell in stride beside me and I did my best to pace myself when she struggled. Imprint, my mind screamed; protect-need-want-protect. "They know. Billy and Jake, they both know about the Cullens. The situation...is complicated."
"But you'll tell me?" She said, craning her head to look up at me as she asked. "You'll tell me, right?"
I'd tell her anything she asked, though she hardly needed to know that. "Yes," I said at last. "But I can't take you to Jake's."
"Oh. Um. I guess...you can take me home then," she said, biting" into her lip. "I mean. I..."
"I have a house," I said, sounding awkward even in my own mind. "We can talk there." She hesitated, but I didn't. "You can sober up, and I'll tell you what's going on, if you'll listen."
"I'll listen," she said at once, brown eyes a little brighter. "What's wrong with him?"
A loaded question that wouldn't go unanswered, of course. "Nothing's wrong with him. Nothing more than the rest of them. Just get in the truck."
She faltered again, hand curling over the rusted silver handle of the truck door. "How can I even trust you?"
It earned a laugh out of me, though it might have been a bit bitter. "You managed to trust the Cullen boy," I said calmly, watching in interest at the way she flinched. "I don't bite."
The truck hummed along the pavement, in harmony with the falling raindrops. It was the only sound to be heard. She was dead silent, and I wasn't sure I was ready to talk. I wasn't even sure where to begin. By right, I could tell her everything; as my imprint she was part of the tribe. She was Pack.
I didn't know where to begin.
She was shaking, wet clothes clinging to her skin, and I cranked the heater full blast and ignored the sweat dripping down my neck. "Do you mind?" she asked, fingers slipping a damp cigarette out of pack she'd freed from her bag. She lit it without my reply, white smoke curling over her bottom lip like a waterfall as she exhaled.
"Yeah, I do," I said, reaching over with one hand and plucking it out of her mouth. I set it between my own lips and bit back a grimace. Menthol. Kids these days. "You're barely legal."
"Like you care," she snapped back, rolling her eyes and reaching for her pack again.
I laughed, because I cared, as of five minutes prior, I cared. I grabbed the pack out her hands, squeezing it in my palm before chucking it out the window. "You have no idea."
To that, it seemed, she had nothing to say and the rest of the trip was spent in silence. When the time came to talk, she stood in my tiny kitchen, dripping puddles on my tile, hair pasted to her face and throat in thick, twisting curls. "Call your father, tell him where you're at."
"What?" she said, head snapping up. "No. You can't tell me what to do."
"You call your father, and tell him where you're at, or I call your father and tell him how I found you," I replied easily, switching the thermostat from air to heat. "It's up to you."
"I wouldn't have agreed to come with you if I'd known you were going to be an asshole," she said quietly, pale fingers curling over my oak counter top. She tapped her nails against the polished wood, and gave me a pointed look. "Well? Give me the phone."
A/N FFnet pulled this fic, stealing away nearly all four thousand of your cheerleading and heartfelt reviews. I feel robbed. You guys carried me through this fic, ranted and raged when I broke your heart, only to build you back up again. We laughed. We cried. We screamed at eachother, and fanfic stole that over three minor scenes of an adult nature. And yet, there are baby-rape fics out there, graphic BDSM, molestation, incest, ect. But they took this, one drunk-fuck, and two fad to blacks. Seriously. So I will be posting it again, cutting out the kitchen scene, the ONLY real graphic scene in the whole massive fic. Because this story is my baby, and it belongs here, where you can enjoy it.
I would love to get back my reviews, but knowing that this story is back up where it belongs (where it can be shared and enjoyed) is enough for me.