Ever wondered why X-Files episodes seem to be so clich├ęd? It's because there are rules you have to follow to make one! Don't
sue me, I don't own anything, and I'm not mocking X-Files. I don't love it QUITE enough to mock it. This started out as an
ELA assignment and morphed into my very own brainchild.


The Society of Motion Pictures (with the help of myself) presents:

Guidelines for making an X-Files episode!
Guest stars Agent Fox Mulder and Agent Dana Scully are going to help demonstrate some of these guidelines.

1. Serial killers
Episodes involving serial killers must include a blonde finding her boyfriend/fiancee/husband's dismembered body in the
bathtub. The aforementioned blonde must then proceed to call various authorities in hysterics, bringing several clueless
police officers and two FBI agents to the house. The house must be located at the edge of a lake or a forest. After asking
the blonde useless questions and wandering around the house for a bit, the police will leave to investigate the lack of
evidence found at the crime scene. The FBI agents will also leave to do background checks on several suspects who have no
obvious relation to the evidence, or lack thereof, found at the house.

Scully: What the hell, Mulder?

Mulder: Shh, I'm thinking. I know, it's him! *points at random picture in photo album*

The blonde must then be lured into the forest or to the lake by the killer, whom she mistakes for her boyfriend/fiancee/
husband. The FBI will return the next day to find the blonde dead inside the house, along with an insignificant speck of
evidence which will in fact dispel any doubts as to the killer's identity.

Mulder: Told you so.

After a surprisingly short period of time, the killer must be tracked down and apprehended with as little fuss as possible.

Scully: You'd think Eugene Tooms would have put up more of a fight.

Sorry this one's so short. Next chapter: Any and all episodes involving mutants...
Stay tuned! R/R please!