"I thought Pepper was only exaggerating when she said you couldn't even make a sandwich." Clint only gives his half-eaten sandwich a condescending look and then proceeds to put his hand back on the table, no longer enthusiastic about the prospect of nicking some food from him. "Couldn't you have thrown in some chips or something?"

Steve clears his throat and Clint raises both hands to signal his apology. Tony isn't affected in the least by Steve's glare and idly continues munching on his dry sandwich, not caring about the taste and less about whatever Steve is briefing them about. Surely JARVIS will have a nice summary for him once the meeting is over. Instead he just looks back on some recent events, as if doubting they truly happened.

But then again, he does have the dryness of the sandwich to remind him.


Loki wasn't supposed to believe him.

Barring Gods of Lies and Super Spies, Natasha Romanov specifically, Tony could consider himself a skillful liar with a special mention in bullshitting and therefore, fooling a regular mortal (yes, he went there) is something he can accomplish quite easily. But this was Loki's leg he was trying to pull here. At most he was aiming to have a laugh at Loki's expense if he fell for it for a minute at least, but Loki just nodded along and listened to every word he said; to every bit of altered information, acting as if he actually believed him.

Of course, it wasn't important, certainly not a matter of national security or anything of the sort. Tony was only enlightening him with some Earth customs, mostly trivial things. Some enquiries of the sexual persuasion that Loki, for some reason, needed answers to. And who was Tony to deny him a master class on preferences and kinks that apparently were unheard of on his realm.

"Mortals truly find that arousing?" He asked, with the ever-present demeaning frown, which only served to egg Tony on, to double the haughtiness in his response.

"I'm sure you Asgardians aren't familiar with the many varieties of the French maid costume. Or any variety." His frown deepened but it was very clear that Tony had hit the nail there; not even with the omnipotence that came with the 'god' title could he know what the French maid costume entitled. "It's not even only about the costume but also the meaning behind it. Sure, the skimpy outfit is hot as hell, but there's so much more to it. The connotations, Loki." Perhaps he sounded too excited, but it was only from the prospect of expanding on his bullshit, which was an oddly liberating feeling.

The topic itself wasn't of his interest for, well, he wouldn't consider it his ultimate turn-on and truly he's never had the experience, but of course none of those reasons would hamper him from dishing out all sorts of facts to delude Loki. Facts that, strangely enough, Loki took in by paying close attention. Only when Tony was done rambling, he found it convenient to speak up. "And what do you think?"

He wasn't sure why he felt the need to lie about that as well, maybe because it was his current default mode. But either way he went on about some made-up fantasy of his, conjuring in his mind the image of whichever of his hot one-night hook-ups, donning the debated costume. It was an entertaining thought and perhaps he wasn't lying too much then because hey, that had been a stunning woman and while he only remembers her with and then without clothes and not the in-between, he's pretty sure she could work it. "Yeah, quite a turn on."

Their discussion, which later on included examples dutifully pulled out from the internet by JARVIS, went on for an hour or two and while Loki had decided to leave his drink to water down, Tony kept filling up his own glass. It wasn't everyday that he got to do two of his favorite things, talking and drinking, both unrestrictedly.

In other words, he was having a ball. And he no longer thought about how Loki just absorbed the information, not bothering with questions.

Long after Loki had left and while the remnants of the drinks he had still dizzied up his thoughts, he looked back on their conversation and just for kicks he tried to envision Loki wearing a similar attire to the one he had imagined. It was a good laugh, especially once he tried to picture him with the characteristic head-piece of French maids; white and frilly and mockingly placed on top of his head, very much like a crown, pushing his shoulder-long dark hair back. As for the dress he couldn't truly make up his mind between some frilly number or a tight fitting corset. As hilarious as he first thought it to be, there was something oddly appealing about Loki wearing a delicate, silky garment. Perhaps it was because of the contrast of his lean muscles and the flimsiness of the fabric that covered his body. Well, covered. It only took him a couple of seconds to sober up when his imagination trailed to what the bottom of the dress would look like.

He's no connoisseur, but he understands the gist. And he knows Loki's body. As much as he tried to not think much of their more-than-just-a handful of wild nights, he knows of certain assets that would quite stand out with a short skirt. To say that he had a nice ass was an understatement. He could already imagine the obscenely short hem barely covering it and the movement of the fabric as he swayed his hips with every move.

He shifted on his bed as his mind kept playing with the fantasy; his pants were starting to become too restraining, but he was too lazy do anything about it. His limbs felt heavy with alcohol induced drowsiness, and then he cursed Loki for having left earlier without even attempting to get some; vanishing into thin air in the same fashion he did when he showed up. Tony hadn't minded then, but now he surely did. Now when his thoughts had evolved into picturing a more detailed fantasy, complete with sheer stockings that clung tightly from toe to mid-thigh and ridiculously high stilettos that would create the impression of impossibly long legs. Impossibly long legs that he wouldn't mind much to have around his torso.

Eventually his hand found its way inside his pants and very lazily jacked off to the mental image of Loki still wearing that outfit, leaning over the kitchen island, shamelessly tempting him to go ahead and just fuck him senseless.

At the end of the day, he wasn't sure whether he had lied to Loki after all.


Loki wasn't supposed to believe him.

About a week had passed since their little chat, and it had almost escaped his mind since he had other things to keep him busy. Things that for once had nothing to do with frivolities, but were actually company related and were therefore demanding but, after some time, just monotonous. Brain-numbing enough, which in a way worked for him. Four days of taking his fair share of Stark Industries responsibilities and on the fifth day he rewarded himself with a little of doing whatever the hell he wanted in his workshop.

He had decided to make a short detour to the kitchen before ultimately heading to the conference room located in the Avengers headquarters at the Tower. Like usual, he had completely skipped two meals, effectively replacing them with coffee for the time being, but his stomach decided to ruin his tinkering marathon and demanded some sort of sustenance to keep the acids from burning. Pizza was the first thing on his mind, but when he realized how he had also managed to successfully ignore JARVIS' notices reminding him about the meeting at five, he reasoned he couldn't afford the twenty minute wait for the delivery. It was exactly seven after five when he stepped out of the elevator and marched towards the kitchen, with a strong craving for a prosciutto and arugula sandwich.

It was, after all, a quite easy thing to make. Just throwing stuff on a slice of bread and then throwing another slice on top, he could do it. He'd done it before. He'd even gotten Pepper's stamp of approval, agreeing it was well and edible. He could do it.

However, he didn't think he could longer do it, or anything at all really, as soon as he pushed open the kitchen's revolving door and stepped in.

Loki wasn't supposed to take him seriously.

But as an afterthought, he is glad that he did.

He is aware that he has spent the last twelve seconds just staring at Loki, taking in every detail that was available for his eyes to register, and he does nothing to hide it. His jaw has even dropped a little but he's beyond feeling embarrassed about it. After all, he doubts the situation will ever repeat itself again. He doubts that there'll be another time where he opens the kitchen's door and the first thing he'll see will be Loki, leaning back against the kitchen's island and wearing nothing other than a French maid costume.

From head to toe. From frilly French maid headpiece to ridiculously steep high heels.

Apparently he had done a good job paying attention his made-up story from the other night. How he had managed to find a very similar outfit is beyond him, and how he had got the costume to fit him so perfectly...well, Tony supposes he could've done either easily with the help of magic, although he finds amusing the idea of Loki sitting in front of a computer, going through endless websites, looking for the right one. Either way, Loki's attire is appropriate enough to get his blood pumping in the right direction and that's really all that matters.

"I uh...I was only joking around, you know?" He doesn't sound as convincing as he would like to, but for once he is speaking the truth. And even though he knows it doesn't help his case, his eyes do another once-over, slowing down very obviously on the waist-down path, especially taking notice of the almost well concealed poking tent at the front of the skirt. "I didn't really mean it."

"But isn't that a shame. In that case I best be off." He barely registers the words since he's more preoccupied with the new angle that is revealed when Loki turns around to start walking away.

And lord have mercy on him.

Perhaps he had believed that his drunken mind had exaggerated the appeal that one night. Oh, but how wrong he had been. The skimpy skirt does a lousy job covering his ass, as do the poor excuse of panties that he is wearing; satin, trimmed with lace and with a very inviting keyhole that Loki casually reveals by very conveniently pushing the skirt upwards while absentmindedly scratching a spot on his lower back. It just tempts him to reach out and pull them down. A notion he's sure Loki would wholeheartedly welcome.

Loki struts effortlessly on those heels, even adding a teasing sway to his hips with each step; he's nearly by the door when Tony remembers that he's supposed to stop him. For his sake, he has to stop him.

"Wait, wait. You aren't going anywhere, babe." Loki looks over his shoulder and raises a questioning eyebrow at him. "There's something I need you to do for me."

"Oh, really? What can I do for you, Mr. Stark?" Loki slowly turns around and very suggestively stares at his crotch, where he surely knows his pants are growing uncomfortably tighter by the second. Even though he's never really been fond of being addressed like that, if Loki wants to go for the whole spiel, then two can play that game.

But still, he really liked Loki's train of thought. "A sandwich," he says then, and if his answer throws him off, Loki shows no sign of it. "I haven't eaten today yet so...make it nice." He wants to enjoy the view some more, perhaps test Loki's patience and restraint. Although he doubts he has much of that himself, the anticipation already starting to break him. After all, he's never been too good at resisting temptation that so shamelessly dangles in front of him.

"If that's what you wish." Loki only smiles as he starts in the direction of the fridge, not sparing him a glance as he walks past him. "Anything in particular?"

"Prosciutto," he answers instantly as he leans against the island, once again admiring the view of the back of the dress. Whatever drove him to put those two items together, he's grateful. "Oh and add some arugula. Bottom drawer." He doesn't need Loki to be facing him to know that he's smirking. Yes, he fell for it right away. Yes, Loki has him wrapped around his finger. Whatever. He's never been too critical about how easy he is when it comes to sex.

Loki immediately bends to retrieve the arugula from the fresher section of the fridge and Tony isn't surprised that it actually takes him longer than usual to 'find' it. The skirt pretty much hikes all the way up and he's nearly dying from the gratuitous sight; Loki's calves are tensed from the unnaturally high heels, everything evenly covered by the delicate ribbed stockings, all the way up to his mid-thigh, where his pale skin contrasts highly with the dark fabric. His legs are slightly parted, enough to allow him to push out his ass, generating a view of Tony's favorite everything. He can tell Loki himself is enjoying the little game as well; from his perspective it's obvious how confining the panties are, and how the strain of his erection is pushing the fabric to find some release.

He knows the bastard well enough to tell that he probably popped a boner as soon as he slipped on those panties and thought about how much he'd just tease him. It was a cruel game for him to play, but in the end it was all worth it. Because as much as Loki liked to tease, he liked the release just as much. And Tony is thankful he's high on Loki's go-to list for that.

At last he straightens up and pays no mind to the skirt that is still bunched up and gives him a better view of the panties. They almost look custom made by the way the fabric hugs his cheeks, tempting him to just close the few steps distance between them and get a hold of them, to squeeze the flesh as hard as needed, as hard as Loki likes it. That is one thing he's most grateful about Loki, how he'd let him use him as he pleased. He had little to no conditions that forbid him to do some things, but in the end, everything was negotiable. As long as he fucked him rough and thorough, everything was good.

Loki closes the fridge, and walks towards the island to leave the items he picked out. "I believe there's something lacking still."

Of course there is. What's lacking is Loki spread over the island, ready to be fucked by him. But not yet. "Bread's in the pantry. Plates in the dishwasher."

He follows Loki with his gaze, alternating his focus between his exposed back and overall from his bottom down. His need for some attention is unbearable so he takes the chance now that Loki's back is facing him to at least rub himself through his pants to relieve some of the tension; however, he was either not too subtle with the contained groan or Loki's hearing is just that good. "Can't wait, can you?" He pauses.

"I'm just really hungry." And it is the truth, only that at the moment it isn't about food anymore. Loki deems it an appropriate answer and continues for the bread. Sadly that is at an easy reach, but his arousal flares up when he pushes open the door of the dishwasher. The prolonged bow allows him to get another detailed view of what he knows he'll be having soon. That tight ass clenching so rightfully around him; it is an art mastered by Loki to perfection. Used in the right way, Loki could get anything he wanted from him. He's only glad that Loki is over his world dominating tendencies.

Loki returns to the island and now that he's got everything he needs, he begins making the sandwich. Tony doesn't comment on how he grabbed Pepper's turkey ham rather than the prosciutto he wanted and he doesn't mention either how he likes some butter in his sandwiches, or in the case of turkey ham sandwiches, mayo. He's got to make up for that lightness somehow. Clearly sandwiches aren't Loki's forte, given how he merely grabbed two slices of bread and threw on two leaves of arugula and one slice of ham. Admittedly, it's what he would've done but for some strange reason he expected better from the god. "I hope it satisfies you." He pushes the plate in Tony's direction but just as he's about to reach out for it, Loki pushes it out of his reach again. "But where is my thank you?"

"Thanks." But that isn't enough to have Loki give him the plate. "Would you like something else in return? I can think of other ways to show my appreciation."

"Yes, I'd much rather feel your appreciation." His eyes flicker to his crotch before finally settling on his eyes; the playfulness from his smirk has now seeped into his eyes, along with some of his arousal. Tony certainly knows he isn't doing either of them a favor by keeping up with their game.

"You fucking tease," he says as he takes a step closer and casually puts his hands on Loki's waist.

"I'll take the freedom to take that as a compliment." A breath catches in his throat when Tony's hands unapologetically move behind him to finally grope what had been so mischievously dangled in front of him for the past seven minutes. "And that as well." Loki pushes his body closer, trapping Tony against the counter. Tony can read the desire in Loki's eyes; they've been in several similar situations in the past and there's nothing more explicit than that determined look. The dilated pupils only emphasize his need, his need to take anything Tony has to offer him. And like usual, Tony aims to not disappoint. "I suppose you're going to do more than just touch?"

"Uh-huh." He slowly begins pulling the panties down. For a moment he considers removing everything but it's still very oddly appealing to have Loki in such attire. And well, he did go through the trouble of finding the perfect one. The least he can do is fuck him in it. "I'm in a bit of a hurry, though. I hope a quick fuck is fine by you?" Part of him wants to just screw the meeting, but he knows that if he still takes longer than fifteen minutes, there'll be an agent showing at his floor, ready to drag him to the conference room. No matter how hard he kicks, he'll be at the meeting.

Damn the day he made that agreement with Steve.

Anyway, he doubts he can make this last much longer. Nevermind that he has learned a little about restraint with Loki, right now he needs this now. "Sounds perfect to me since I'm in a hurry as well," Loki agrees with him, bringing his hands to the front of Tony's jeans, not wasting any time to get one of his hands inside the garment.

"Oh, really? What is the God of Mischief up to?" He hums in delight when Loki's fingers wrap around his erection, moving at a slow pace to get him going, while his own hands cup his now completely bare ass before trailing his fingers to the desired destination.

"You could call them pressing matters." He spreads his legs as if to help him in his endeavor and he holds his breath when Tony is finally near his entrance. Only that Tony's fingers don't get anywhere since there's something already there.

"Is this your pressing…" His mind revisits the past minutes, this time adding the presence of the toy buried up Loki's ass, teasing him with every move. Daring him to lose his composure at any moment, but keeping a straight, yet very turned on, face the whole time. Now Tony understands why he's so ridiculously hard without having been touched by him. "...God, you are the worst."

And Loki laughs, laughs because he undoubtedly understands the mess that are his thoughts at the moment. "I've had it in for a while. A little tortuous if you ask me, both from having it prodding with every move I make and just wishing it was as thick as your cock." And damn if Loki doesn't always find the right words to say. "The latter is what drives me the maddest," he whispers in all seriousness.

Tony can't deal with how lust-ridden his voice is, for once showing him how much in need he currently is, how the sweet torture has left him craving for him. And only him.

But then his insufferable smirk returns and Tony just rolls his eyes. Apparently he still has some desire to play him. "You know I can do better than a toy from a sex-shop. Where did you even get it?"

"The internet. I must admit you Midgardians do have some interesting shops. But I do believe this one's lacking. You think you can build me a better one?"

"Now you're just mocking me." He knows it was only rhetorical, but in his head he's already planning for it. For starters it'd have a classier outlook, and even though he can't tell the exact shape, he'd make sure it's perfectly sculpted. Less mainstream, more him. Hell, he could even make a replica of his own dick. "But what I actually meant is, shame on you! You could've just come to me if you wanted some oh so desperately."

"Don't tell me it doesn't excite you that I've had this device in, wishing the entire time that it was your cock instead."

"Fair point." Loki follows as he switches positions with him so that he's the one to have Loki pinned against the counter. "I think you outdid yourself this time."

"Don't I always?" Loki turns around. "Now come on. I wasn't expecting you to play along for so long. I thought you'd throw me over the counter and fuck me as soon as I turned around the first time." And that is something Loki is right about; but either way, he doesn't regret in the least the minutes he had Loki strut around in that outfit. Loki looks comfortable while he positions his upper half to rest over the cold granite of the counter, taking off his heels first, and his legs well spread so that he's on the right level for Tony to enter him. "There's something you need to take care of first."

All Tony can hope is that JARVIS has a good angle on this. Although he doubts it'll be as good as his, the perspective he has is obscene. His eyes land on the dildo and he rolls his eyes at the tacky purple leopard pattern. "Now, you really are mocking me," he says as he holds the edges of the toy and carefully pushes it in further, earning himself a moan that Loki tries to cover with an amused chuckle. "I don't know if I'm more offended by the purple or the leopard." He continues to move it around, this time beginning to pull it out very slowly. "But I do think it's cute how you try to irritate me." He pushes it right back in, and perhaps he doesn't hate the toy as much as he initially did.

"Glad you realize my taste is not abysmal." Loki shudders, tightening his grip on the edge of the counter. "Didn't you mention you were in a hurry?"

"That is right…" He looks down at the dildo and notices how he's only pulled out about two inches and there's probably a couple more inches to go. With a smirk, he removes it entirely with one pull, startling Loki, who only groans from it. "You were right, this could be thicker."

"Fuck, Stark." He pretends to sound angry, but Tony knows that that groan was only from delight. And if anything, he's proud he managed to catch Loki off guard, not because it meant that he had accomplished to outsmart him, but because it showed how turned Loki actually is. So much that he couldn't even predict something like that happening. "Fuck." It's dirty to watch his muscles as they clench, no longer used to being empty and seeking for a replacement to fill him up again. Soon.

"So, does your skimpy outfit come with a pocket for lube or something?" Loki just flips him off, a gesture Tony has come to find endearing given how Midgardian it is, but quickly magicks a bottle of lube. "But of course, who needs pockets when you can have magic?" Tony pops the cap open and adds as much of the slick substance he deems necessary. He considers wiping off the excess with Loki's skirt, but in the end he chooses to not waste the lube; with his slick fingers he smoothly lubes up his ass, daring to tease him a little by slipping in two, which earns him more pleased gasps. "I love seeing you so needy. You should be glad I have about ten more minutes before Steve shows up."

"And you wouldn't want the good captain to find you like this, would you?"

"I was actually more worried about you." He emphasizes his point by shoving his fingers up further. "I'm not the former top super-villain that's wearing a ridiculous outfit and about to get fucked."

"Well, I don't mind to have people watching."

"Why am I not surprised? Well...Maybe some other time." He removes his fingers and diligently aligns the head of his cock with Loki's entrance, eager to finally push in and end Loki's torture. Although he does enjoy a little too much to see Loki squirming from anticipation, but he needs the attention as well. Even though he's barely touched himself, his arousal has peaked dangerously, just by staring and listening to Loki's words. And there's the whole rush from needing to be done and pleased before someone dares to come collect him; he has all the right reasons to just fuck him.

"Hmm, yes." As if Loki's previous words telling him that this is what he had been looking forward to for a few hours weren't enough to believe him, the look on his face is a dead giveaway. His body language is a nice compliment too, tense from the intrusion but so very clearly pleased, even if Tony wasn't careful in the least with his first thrust. "Come on, Stark." He's by no means going slowly and Tony chuckles, amused by how Loki's patience had completely crumbled in the past two minutes.

But really, he's not one to brag about infinite patience. If anything he's glad that he does have the excuse to not bother with starting slowly but just grab Loki's hips tightly and begins thrusting his hips. Loki welcomes the notion and arches his lower back further, trying to find a better angle to accommodate Tony's cock; he doesn't seem bothered by the extra thickness stretching him, in fact, he seems to thrive for it. Loki stretches his arms to go behind him, reaching for Tony's hips to guide the rhythm of his thrusts, readily digging his round fingernails into his skin, and Tony knows the effort will leave some scratch marks that will burn until later. Not like he minds much at the moment, revelling in the sharpness that only accentuates Loki's desperation.

Loki feels just like he expected, that practiced tightness and the pliantness of his body, readily taking Tony's cock, not caring about his stomach being repeatedly pushed against the countertop or about having his spine bent upwards so far into an almost impossible angle. He's only looking for release, he needs it soon and Tony doesn't have anything against that.

It's quite different from other times they've fucked, there is no talk—which should please Loki, no further teasing and he's more than sure there won't be any switching of positions. Perhaps he'd grown used to that. Used to end up covered in sweat, with aching muscles that would work as a reminder of their nights of debauchery. He'd grown used to it being more of an experience rather than just a way to get off. Something he could think of later and perhaps question his life choices as he got turned on yet again. Although this short stunt is something he certainly will remember for some time. Yes, it'll take some time before he can forget about that indecently short skirt and the bounce of the frills as he pounds into Loki's heat. Or that incredibly tasteless, yet amazing dildo.

The thought of it only flares his arousal, making it harder to keep holding off his orgasm and then he knows it's a lost battle. He can feel the pleasure uncoiling and spreading through his body, instantly dropping the pace of hips to shallow, slow thrusts. "Fuck, Loki," he gasps as he reaches out to take Loki's still hard cock in his hand. The moans that leave Loki's mouth only signal that he's close and Tony knows that he's finally reached his limit when he feels his body tightening around him, momentarily holding on before he completely relaxes on the counter, letting his orgasm wash over him. His hands move up to rest on Loki's ass, taking advantage of the fact that he's still too spent to squeeze his cheeks, a gesture that is received with a pleased sigh. "That really was a quickie."

"Speak for yourself." Loki keeps his eyes closed as he tries to regain his breath. "But the wait was worth it." He sounds very much content and sated, and well, that was what Tony aimed for. "You have to go, right?" There is something a little wrong about just leaving Loki there, but then post-sex cuddles are a no-go, and he does have to get going.

"Yep, sorry about that." He pulls out his now soft cock and proceeds to pull up his boxers before the obnoxious dildo catches his attention. An idea forms in his mind and he decides to go with it, after all what's the worst Loki could do to him. "Since you liked it so much…" Loki yelps in surprise when the now obsolete dildo enters his abused hole, stretching his already sore and overstimulated muscles "This better stays in until tonight. You think you can handle that, babe?"

"Gods, yes, Mr. Stark. I will...ah!" Loki squirms as he evilly shifts the toy around, clearly touching places still too tender from the pleasure. "I will keep it inside me. Along with your cum that is so deliciously filling me."

"Keep it in and I might lick you clean after I'm done with my duties." He might actually do just that, and he makes the mistake of imagining it. Loki on his elbows and spread knees, his head pressed to the pillows and trying fruitlessly to not be too loud, but he knows his tongue would drive him insane. "No, really, I have to go." He shakes his head and quickly pulls up his pants. "I guess I can have this now. Hopefully that showed some of my gratitude." Tony picks up the forgotten sandwich, still not caring that it's nowhere near the one he had wished to make himself; at least it'll keep his stomach busy.

"You are indeed very generous, Mr. Stark." He watches the discomfort, now very obvious, flash through Loki's face, scrunching up his eyebrows as he bends down to pull up his damned panties. "I'll be looking forward to your return. Quite anxiously."