"The Confession"

Rated T

Disclaimer: I do not own anything associated with That 70's Show. A little bit of warning, this can get very random.


The sun was rising on this sweet Point Place morning.

The first person to wake up to this wonderful morning was Fez. He was sleeping in the Forman's house because he was too exhausted to go home to his host parents. It must've been the hard partying that was taken out of him thanks to his friends. He spent the entire night sleeping on the couch and yet Eric's parents didn't know he was spending the night.

Fez decided to go into the kitchen and get himself some orange juice.

"I'm thirsty... I wonder if there's some juice left for a sexy bod like mine..." Fez yawned.

But before he could open the refrigerator door to get some...

...he saw something sitting on the counter. Fez couldn't believe his own eyes.

"Holy mother..." Fez said through captivation.

It was perhaps the most gorgeous thing Fez had ever laid his two beaming eyes on. It was ripe, juicy, tender, delicious. Her scent was affecting Fez's nostrils like the most forbidden drug on the face of this planet. The foreigner was lost for words.

Fez approached the luscious piece of beauty waiting urgently for him.

"I've never seen anything so beautiful quite like you..." Fez said, pouring out his emotions, "I've been dreaming of you ever since we first met. I don't know what Fez would do without you. Without you, I would be nothing. I would be nothing if you ever left me. I don't want you to leave my side. I really want your beauty to be poured all over me. When I look at your tasty goodness, I go crazy. When I feel your lips through mine, I still go crazy. My heart just can't hide it anymore..."

Fez's heart was beating rapidly. His urges was getting to him. His forehead sweating furiously.

It was from this point that he wanted her.

"I want you!" Fez declared as he scooped his arms...

...

...

...and wrapped them all around a Hershey's candy bar. His one true love in life.

Ohh, how Fez would like to ride into the sunset with his chocolatey love. He finished his little confession with a bite of the delicious candy bar.

"I'm so glad to be with somebody like you..." Fez whispered to the tasty treat with his mouth full.

But as much as he was enjoying his moment, he was caught by an angry voice from behind.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE, FOREIGNER?"

Fez leaped out of surprise in fear. He nervously turned around...

...only to see Red Forman in his nightrobe. He stood before Fez with that scary glare in his face and his arms wrapped in a threatening tone.

"Oh, uh..." Fez responded, being deathly afraid of the elder Forman, "Hi, Mr. Red. I'm being reunited with my one love!"

"That's a chocolate bar, dumbass!" Red snapped, "I was saving that for my snack later on!"

Fez was looking at the chocolate bar and an angry Red at the same time. Scared and frightened, Fez decided to stand up to the elder Forman.

"Yeah, well..." Fez said, taking a light pause, "You can't have her! Me and Chocolatey are gonna be together forever, and we're gonna be married, and were gonna have choco-babies, and there's nothing you can do to stop me, Mr. Red! Now good day!"

In defense, Fez decided to run for the door with his chocolate companion in hand. But Red tried to stop him by speaking.

"Look here, foreign-"

"I SAID 'GOOD DAY'!" Fez shouted out in response, therefore shutting the door behind him and taking off.

Red was speechless. He was speechless that Fez, out of all people, would confess his love to something that wasn't a woman. The foreigner was completely paranoid in Red's mind.

In response, he walked out of the kitchen completely boggled and angrily yelled upstairs.

"KITTY, THE FOREIGNER'S DOING DOPE WITH OUR SON AGAIN!"


Okay, this was completely random, but c'mon... how can Fez not deny his love for candy?

Anyway, you know what to do from here. ^_^