It was late Friday night when Sam and Dean had arrived at the bunker. They were walking into the dim lit living room, their eyes following the shape that was sitting on their couch. Dean's eyes adjust to the dim light and notices that it's Cas sitting there, staring at them with a tired expression.
"Dean-" Cas starts to say as he slowly gets up off the couch
"Cas! Man are you alright?" Dean replies hastily, rushing towards him.
"I'm fine Dean, I just.., haven't been able to sleep. Adjusting to a human life is difficult when you've never lived life as one." Cas says weakly with a smile that doesn't quite reach his eyes.
Dean reaches Cas and lays a tentative hand on his shoulder. Cas looks up into his green eyes, shining brighter than a meadow on a calm, spring, day. Something Cas has never noticed before, was Dean's beauty. It stuns him, slightly. He's never seen Dean's face, not really. His soul was the only thing he saw, its shining beauty and courageous selflessness. But now, Cas sees it. The never ending glow of light coming from his eyes, the worn out skin crinkling around his eyes as he looks at Cas in concern. The chapped lips that twitch through his emotions, the jaw that highlights his soft stubble, Cas finally sees it. And it's beautiful. He shakes his head softly and breathes out a tired sigh. "Don't worry Dean. I'll get used to it eventually." He then looks up to see Sam standing by the door, looking at him with worry in his eyes.
"Cas if there's anything we can do, and I mean anything, just let us know and we'll do it." Sam says across the room in a comforting voice.
Cas smiles weakly in reply, noticing how both boys look at each other at a loss of what to do. He stands up slowly, Dean's hand falling from his shoulder towards his side.
"Cas, wait-"Dean starts.
"No Dean. Don't worry. I'm going to bed. We'll talk tomorrow." Cas interrupts in a soft voice. His eyes soften as they look into Dean's. God those eyes. He's never going to get the image of them out of his head. He shakes his head again and begins to leave the room, retreating to the southern end of the bunker away from the Winchester's.
Sam and Dean gaze at each other with lost eyes. "Should we go after him?" Sam asks, unsure.
Dean rubs a hand across his face in exhaustion. "Let's just get some sleep and try tomorrow. He's not going to want to talk to us tonight." Dean replies with obvious tiredness in his tone.
"Alright, but we just leave him on his own. It's not good for him to not be around people. We need to teach him the different aspects of life. He's probably already experienced hunger, and now its tiredness. It's going to be hard to help him settle down as something he's never been before, but we can't just leave him to fend for himself. He's practically an infant." Sam says back to Dean in a clipped tone.
Dean sighs." Yeah I know. But I'm too tired to do anything now. Let me sleep and we'll help him in the morning." He turns to leave, walking towards his bedroom, leaving Sam in the living room by himself.
It was now early Saturday morning and Dean was walking to the kitchen to cook himself some food. It had been a long time since they've had a proper home cooked breakfast. It was definitely a morning for bacon and eggs. When Dean enters the kitchen, he sees Cas sitting pathetically at the kitchen counter, staring sleepily at an apple that he was twirling around in his hand.
"Hey Cas." Dean starts with a worried smile.
Cas looks up from the red apple he's holding and notices Dean walking towards the fridge.
"Morning, Dean." Cas replies behind a yawn.
Dean looks back at Cas sensing something off with his friend. He notices Cas crinkling his eyes, and his brow furrowing in confusion. "You okay Cas?" He asks timidly.
"Yes I'm just-"There is a pause where Cas let's out another yawn before finishing "Tired. Is there any way to stop yawning? Does it ever go away?" Cas asks, looking up at Dean with pleading eyes.
Dean's eyes soften at the question. Oh how he wishes there was a different answer he could give. "It stops once you've gotten enough sleep." His heart clenches in his chest at the site of Cas' face falling down with sadness. "Did you not get any last night? Are you still finding it difficult to adjust?" Asks Dean, hoping for an answer he is sure he's not going to get.
"Unfortunately no. I can't seem to get my head to stop talking. There are all these voices. I hear the angels, the ones calling for me, wanting to find me and kill me. I hear their pain, their anger, and it's all directed at me. It's hard to sleep when you have things like that being yelled at you 24/7." Cas replies sadly. He looks back down at his apple and begins to twirl it around in a circle again, sliding his fingers across the surface as it spins.
Dean looks at him, lost at what to do, or how to help. He thinks back to his childhood, to the time where he too, was having trouble sleeping. His mother's death bought upon intense insomnia, one where he would battle between trying to stay awake and not have dreams, to having them and waking up drenched in sweat. The recurring nightmare of his mother burning in the fire as he looked upon it from the outside, holding Sammy against his chest with dear life.
He remembers how his dad would make him a bubble bath and lie him down in the warm water. He'd hush him softly by humming to the tune of Hey Jude. The bath would be filled to its brim, with a fluffy white surface, looking like the grass on a cold, snow filled Christmas morning. Dean would lie down and close his eyes, listening to his own breathing, taking in the sound of his father humming softly near him as he stroked Dean's hair. "It's okay Dean. Daddy's here. No one's going to hurt you." Dean would fall asleep soon after, waking up the next morning covered in blankets on their current homes couch. This was one of the happiest memories between him and his father. Maybe even the only happy memory.
Dean comes back to reality, and figures out that if there is anything he can do to help, he will do it.
He walks by Cas before saying "Come with me."
He starts to walk out with Cas behind his heals. "Where are we going Dean? What's going on?" Cas asks quizzically.
"Don't ask questions, man. Just keep walking." Dean replies curtly.
Cas follows him in silence as he leads them to one of the bathrooms on the west side of the building, the closest one to his room. Dean opens the door and steps inside, heading towards a round, white, tub in the centre of the room. He crouches down to turn on the faucet, running his fingers under the water before finding the perfect temperature and plugging the drain. He gets up and walks towards one of the dark wooden cupboards to the right side of the room, before opening it and looking for any bubble bath. He finds some on the second shelf and picks it up. He looks at the label and sees that its coconut scented. He turns to Cas.
"Are you okay with the smell of coconut?" Dean asks curiously.
Cas tilts his head to the side and looks at Dean quizzically. "Why are you asking?" Answers Cas.
Dean chuckles softly before replying "Because I'm going to put it in your bath, idiot."
He walks over to the tub and squirts a few drops near the running tap. When he's done, he turns towards the cupboards and looks for some soap. When he locates the soup, he closes the cupboard and walks back to where Cas is still standing near the doorway.
"Here." Says Dean, handing him the small bottle of soap.
Cas hesitantly picks up the soap into his hands. "Why are you making me a bath? I had a shower an hour ago. I'm tired, not dirty, Dean." Cas says, confused.
"I know Cas. I'm making you a bubble bath because when I had issues with sleeping, they helped me relax until I finally fell asleep. I thought that maybe it could work the same for you." Says Dean, shrugging nonchalantly.
Cas' eyes soften at the gesture. He didn't think Dean would be able to help with his sleeping problems. Guess he's going to have to see if it works. "Thank you, Dean. I'm not sure if it's going to help me much, but I'll give it a go.
Cas starts to unbutton his shirt before-
"Wow! Wow, hey there Cas slow down. Let a man walk out first." Dean interjects hastily before turning off the faucet and walking towards the door hurriedly. He stops at the door and turns back to Cas. "Ah, if you need anything… Ill uh…. Be next door so jus-just give me a shout okay? Oh, and don't drown. Try to stay above the water at all times." Says Dean with a small smile curved on the side of his lips.
Cas stops unbuttoning his shirt and looks up at Dean with grateful eyes. "Okay. Thanks again…Ill, uh… let you know if I need anything." He replies with a small smile.
Dean nods at him still smiling and says "No problem. Have a nice bath." He turns and walks out of the bathroom, closing the door as he leaves. Cas hears him hum to a song he's never heard and relaxes at the sound. It was comforting. He starts to undress his clothes, then slowly eases his way into the warm, foamy, coconut scented water. He elicits a small, contented, sigh as he spreads out his legs, wriggling his toes against the white bubbles. He leans his head back and rests it on the soft cloth laying at the base of the tub. He closes his eyes and breathes out another soft sigh. Dean was right. It really is relaxing.
He strains his ears and hears soft singing coming from behind the walls to his left. A smile tugs upon his lips as he hears Dean's voice traveling through the thin walls. His breathing starts to slow down and before he knows it, he's fast asleep in the soapy water, Dean's voice the last one he hears.
"Hey Cas, how're you doing? You okay in there." Dean knocks against the bathroom door, raising his voice slightly so he can be heard. Cas had been in the bathroom for an hour now and he still hadn't made an appearance. There is no answer so Dean tries again. "Cas, you in there man?" Still no reply. Dean starts to get worried and thinks of the worst. What if he's drowned? What if his head is under water? What if he swallowed too many bubbles by accident? He pushes the door open without a second thought, walking into the quite bathroom.
"Cas-!" He starts.
Dean looks at the still, but breathing figure in the tub. Cas is fast asleep with his head leaning against the base of the tub. His mouth is slightly open, releasing little puffs of air as he dreams. A small smile tugs the corner of his lips. His angel sleeping. Who would have thought? Then suddenly he remembers that Cas is no longer an angel, and everything comes crashing back down. He really needs to get used to the fact that Cas is no longer an angel. No longer his angel. Just another friend that can now be easily killed.
He shakes his head before deciding he'll think about that later. He turns to the matter at hand, before stopping, his eyes widening in shock. He looks down at the still water of the tub and notices the bubbles have all but disappeared. He looks away, a blush spreading through his cheeks and around his neck, heating up his skin. That, he was not expecting. He clear his throat loudly and runs a hand at the back of his neck. Cas suddenly makes a soft noise, turning in his sleep to change his position, the water slopping around from the movement. Dean coughs a bit more loudly this time. Cas' eyes starts to flicker, before they open slowly adjusting to the light. Dean smiles down at him.
"Hey buddy. You gotta get out of the tub. You're all pruney and you might sink in the water and drown." He chuckles to himself as he lowers himself to Cas's eye level. "Wakey wakey." Dean adds, as he bops his finger on Cas's nose.
Cas crinkles his nose in response and mumbles with a sleepy voice. "No. M'm tired. Don't wanna... move."
Dean chuckles again before replying. "I know buddy, but you gotta get out. Come on. Then I promise I'll let you sleep." He gets up and grabs the towel hanging on the rack on the left side of the wall. He walks back towards the tub to see Cas rubbing his eyes with his hands, and notices a few bubbles on the top of his dark, messy hair. His heart warms against his chest, a tender smile forming his lips. This was a side of Cas he could get used to seeing. He walks up to the sleepy man and holds the towel out in front of him for Cas to take. It takes a few seconds, and Dean hears a few splashes before Cas finally takes the towel from him, and dries himself off. Dean turns away looking for Cas' pair of boxers before finding them on the ground near the door. He picks them up and turns back to Cas, who has the towel wrapped around his abdomen, his hands still rubbing sleepily against his half-closed lids. He walks back towards him and hands him the boxers. "Here. Put these on." He looks into Cas' eyes warmly, and looks up noticing that the bubbles were still in his hair. He giggles softly before reaching out and brushing them off with a swift flick of his hand.
Cas follows he movement of Dean's hand, as he flicks the bubbles away. He takes a hold of the boxers in Dean's hands and begins to shakily put them on. He's just about to get his right foot into the hole before his balance starts to sway. He grabs onto to the nearest thing, which so happens to be Dean.
"Whoa! You okay there, tiger." Dean asks worriedly as he helps Cas stand straight, specifically setting his gaze to Cas's face so he doesn't see anything that'll make the situation uncomfortable.
Cas steady's himself, his hands grasping deans arms for support. He lets out a relieved sigh before saying "Thanks Dean. I didn't realise how weak I was."
"Hey, it's no problem man. Here ill hold you steady while you get the other leg in, alright?" Dean replies gently.
Cas proceeds to put his boxers on and succeeds the second time round. Dean picks up the fallen towel and goes to place it back on the towel rack. He then walks back to Cas and puts a soft arm around his shoulder's as he leads him out of the bathroom. They walk silently towards Dean's room, Dean making sure Cas is holding onto him so he doesn't fall over. When the reach his dark brown bedroom door, his left reaches out to turn the doorknob, before pushing the door open and dragging Cas into the room quietly.
"Here we go." Dean says laying Cas down gently onto his bed.
Cas moans in contentment and laces his fingers around the pillow under his head, grasping the cloth hard beneath his fingers as he snuggles his head into a comfortable position. Dean smiles at the contented look on Cas' Face, before picking up the comforter laying at the end of the bed, and laying it across Cas's muscular frame. He turns to leave before a hand grabs on to his arm. Dean looks back to see as looking up at him through sleep deprived blue eyes.
"Don't leave me Dean. Can you…" Cas hesitates. "Would you please…stay with me? Stay and… and can you sing? I uh, heard you when I was in the bath and it really relaxed me." Cas mumbles out sleepily, looking at Dean with hopeful eyes.
Dean can't say no. It's not possible. His friend needs him to stay, so he will stay. He nods at Cas, silently accepting his request, before slipping off his shoes, taking off his pants, and sliding under the comforter beside him. Cas turns towards Dean, taking him by surprise by placing his head at the crook of his neck. Dean looks down to see a mass of black fluffy hair in his vision and feels a hand wrap around his waist. He breathes in a shaky breath, noticing the strong scent of coconut as it glides up his nostrils. The smell, with the warm body wrapped around him combined, become the most comforting thing he has experienced in a very long time.
Cas sighs his approval, weaving his hand into Dean's shirt, brushing it between his fingers.
Dean's body trembles slightly beneath him at the new, yet comforting feeling of Cas surrounding him. He wraps his arm around Cas' body, casually stroking up and down his arm in a soothing motion.
"You can sleep now, Cas. I'm not going anywhere." Dean says into the silence.
"Mhmm. I know… Thank you, Dean. That bath really did help." Cas mumbles back into his chest. "Sing" He adds, in a slight commanding, yet sleepy tone.
Dean chuckles, still continuing his stroke up and down Cas' arm. "Alright, alright." He clears his throat before starting a soft rendition of Asleep by The Smiths.
Sing me to sleep
Sing me to sleep
I'm tired and I
I want to go to bed
Dean moves the hand stroking Cas' arm towards his hipbone, before sliding his hand under Cas's shirt, rubbing his thumb in a soft circular motion. Cas sighs contentedly again, the feel of Dean's hand on him, with the company of the song, lulling him to sleep.
Sing me to sleep
Sing me to sleep
And then leave me alone
Don't try to wake me in the morning
'Cause I will be gone
Don't feel bad for me
I want you to know
Deep in the cell of my heart
I will feel so glad to go
At this point, Dean notices that Cas' breathing has slowed down and the grip on his shirt has loosed slightly. Cas has fallen asleep. Dean however, continues to softly sing the rest of the song until the last note is sung. His heart suddenly swells with affection at the man sleeping wrapped up in his arms. He holds onto Cas tighter than ever, hesitantly, and softly placing a soft kiss to the top of Cas' head. He breathes in the scent of coconut as soon as his lips touch his head. The scent over powers his senses, and his heart begins to race at the thoughts his mind are having. He panics slightly, unaccustomed to feeling so attached, so loved, so at home. Dean hasn't had a home in a very long time. He's not even sure if he ever really had one. But now, he knows for a fact, he has a home. His home? His home is Cas.