Hi guys this is a new story I've been working these last few days
I know, I know, I'm a horrible author and I shouldn't be publishing this when I still have another eleven (or maybe twelve) fics waiting to be updated, but I been having this idea since almost a year ago and I can't just simply keep on avoiding it... so please... deal with it...
The updates of this story are going to be way tooooooo slow so please, please, PLEASE bear with me, to be honest I'm just going to update once in a while so... yeah... sorry guys...
And please guys, is painfully obvious that this is a Fem Tsuna fanfic (I'm a fan of gender-bender so deal with it) so please if you don't like DON'T READ!
Rated T because of slight gore and because I'm paranoid! Rate might change.
Disclaimer: KHR is not mine (unfortunately) I just own the plot and a few characters I'll add later in the story.
Summary: After a traumatic event that scared Tsuna both physically and mentally when she was younger, she decided that waiting for her patents and twin brother to notice her wasn't worth loosing herself in the process. Leaving home and creating a new life was difficult but it was worth it, but the arrival of certain hitman will change it? Even though her twin is the one supposed to become Vongola Decimo?
Pairings: Fem27xAll (for now)
Warnings: child neglect and bullying
- I'm still here -
"I'm proud of you"
I remember that those were the words I longed to hear at some point of my life.
But they never came.
Because I never meant anything for anyone.
For my parents I was just Takehiko's older twin sister, nothing more, nothing less.
For Takehiko I was just the sorry excuse of a sister the gods had to give him.
And the rest of the world...?
I sometimes wondered if the people around me actually made an effort to remember my real name instead of that degrading nickname.
I tried doing everything I could to make my parents notice me, to make them proud. Of course I failed miserably at everything no matter if it was the simplest task, like pouring a glass of water or moving a vase.
My mother and father never said it in my face, but I knew.
They were disappointed.
They were angry.
They were sad.
They were ashamed.
At night when I went to sleep I could hear the quiet sobs of my mother pleading to god that I would become like my little brother, or wish that she had only given birth to Takehiko so she didn't had to suffer with me.
Did she honestly didn't notice me?
Did she thought she was the only one suffering?
What about me?
She either didnt care or chose to ignore the fact, she didn't even look at me if she could help it.
I personally didn't know him that well but...
I hated him.
He was never there.
Never helped neither me nor Takehiko when we needed him.
And when he was there the only thing that he ever did was getdrunk and fuck my our mother for the entire night making it impossible for others to sleep -those walls were fucking thin-and the next day he was gone, not even a goodbye.
At least not to me.
I knew I was reaching my breaking point.
I was getting tired.
Tired of my air headed mother.
Of my never present father.
Of my abusing and insulting little brother.
Of the bullying.
Of the school.
I'm not proud to say that at some point I considered suicide a possibility.
I felt like if I killed myself then all my problems would end.
But deep down I knew that wasn't true, because it would be me the one that just... vanished, but would I die without regrets? could I certainly say I lived my life at the fullest?
No, of course not.
There would be a ton of thing I would want to do first.
But then that happened and I was forced to see the world from a different angle, a different perspective. Everything I knew, or I thought I knew was something based on lies, which made me question everything and everyone.
"Actions say more than words"
That certainly is true.
My mother ignores me: she doesn't want me for who I am, my little brother is the only one worth looking at.
My little brother bullies me: he hates me and wants to see me suffer.
My father tries to avoid me: he makes me realize that he never wanted me in the first place and doesn't need me.
The people around me: I'm just someone who should have never been born.
I have no one.
And I'm no one to the rest of the world.
The only I can rely on, is me.
"Are you okay?"
And still, those words were the ones that changes my entire world.
Yay! There it is, THERE IT IS! Phew I finally was able to post this...
So that's it! you love it? hate it? please be patient I know you have a lot of questions, but all will be solved in due time.
*Dame-Tsuna: No-good Tsuna
I hope you like it aaaaaaaaaaaaand... don't forget to review XD
And sorry for the grammar mistakes
I-chan out~ (or Mia, whatever you like)