"Cody At Candy Land"

Rated T

Disclaimer: I do not own anything associated with Step By Step or the board game Candy Land. I'm not gonna lie to you, but the show being brought back thanks to the Hub network made me a big fan again. So here it is.

P.S.: Cody could be on pot. Sure it doesn't sound in-character since there's no drugs on the show, but let's pretend Cody was.


The world was a tough place. No matter what happens, you'll never get the things you want.

But in the eyes of one Cody Lambert, he was never worried on the outside. He was always care-free and protective around those who stood close to him. He would always feel happy and never had a chance to be aggressive, despite his awesome fighting skills. And not to mention he was a brilliant construction worker alongside his Uncle Frank. They stood closer to each other like Chocolate and Peanut Butter combined.

Heck, he couldn't forget about his little buddy known as J.T. The way he would show him the proper techniques to treat a lady with honest respect. The way he would help J.T. get their numbers and score some awesome first kisses. To put it simply in respect...

Cody was the coolest dude this side of Port Washington.

This day however, felt a little different than usual.

He decided to spend the day inside his van after a rough morning fixing the car battery inside his car. It was all rusty and shot down to hell. And Cody didn't like that. He would spend endless hours cussing out all around God's little green earth before calming down in his palace of a vehicle.

And he decided to sleep his problems away with a nice sleep. He had such a good nap for a little while...

...that was until his stomach started grumbling.

"Ohhhh, man... looks like Mr. Stomach's starting to rumble..." Cody replied starvingly, "I gotta get me something to eat, dude."

With an appetite for hunger, Cody managed to get out of the vehicle.

But to his surprise, Cody opened the van and realized one thing: He was no longer at the Lambert's house...

...

...

...

...he was at Candy Land!

Cody couldn't believe his eyes for a minute. Candy Land wasn't even a real place to begin with! It was some sort of magical place where there was nothing but tasty candy. It was almost like a dream come to life!

"Whooooooooa... dude, I'm at Candy Land!" Cody smiled goofily, "And here I thought it was a board game!"

Cody wandered all around the place. The scenery was almost identical to a Katy Perry music video. Nothing but sweet and tasty treats galore! There was Candy Castle, Gingerbread Plum Trees, Gumdrop Mountains, Licorice Castle, Lollipop Woods, Molasses Swamp, Peanut Brittle House, Peppermint Forest and Ice Cream Sea.

Cody's stomach, on the other hand, was still grumbling.

"Dude... I forgot that I'm still hungry..." Cody said to himself.

But realizing first-hand that he was at a magical place called Candy Land...

...Cody wanted to go all out on a huge sugar rush!

"But it's so worth it!" Cody blared out, "Give me some chocolate milk!"

Just like a fat little kid who likes chocolate cake, Cody took of running, approaching a chocolate fountain.

He rubbed his hands and sent his mouth tasting the chocolatey goodness. Cody was drinking the satisfying chocolate liquid like if it was a water fountain itself. This was strange since there was never a chocolate fountain inside of Candy Land in the first place.

"Mmmmmm... so silky and tasty... like Dana's hair!" Cody muffled with laughter.

Before he could laugh more, Cody's eyes were directed at peppermint candy canes. Mainly from the Peppermint forest. Those tasty red stripes and delicious white texture. Cody's breath could use a little re-adjusting itself.

"Candy canes, come to Cody Lambert!" Cody laughed boisterously as he ran through the little snowy thicket.

Despite not wearing snow shoes, Cody wore his usual work boots. His tongue was getting wet, staring at the juicy peppermint canes themselves.

Cody's hands got a hold of the defenseless, yet tasty canes like if he was grabbing berries at a forest.

Forcefully, the dude shoved the pile of candy canes straight into his mouth. He started chomping hardly, hoping his hard diamond-like teeth would crush those helpless minty bastards to a pile of scrap heap. And he was doing just that.

"Eat it, tasty dorks, hahahaha!" Cody laughed in their faces, even though a tasty treat like a candy cane doesn't have faces.

After wiping his mouth off, he looked behind his shoulder and saw a glowing light come upon him like magic.

"Dude... what is that I see before me?"

He looked up to sky...

...

...

...and saw the biggest yellow lollipop in his own eyes. It was bigger than Taj Mahal, larger than the Statue of Liberty, and wider than the Mercedes Benz Superdome combined. How in the heck was Cody gonna fit the whole thing in his mouth.

"Wow... no waaaaaay!" Cody exclaimed in amazement, "Looks like my mouth's working overtime!"

His appetite for that large banana-flavored lollipop grew. It grew so much that his urges was getting to him like the snap of a finger. He just had to have it!

"I... must... have... you...!" Cody said in shock.

His feet took off running and Cody went on sprinting. Licking his lips majorly, Cody managed to climb up the white stick one by one. Climbing it was a bit hard, but nevertheless, Cody made it look like a piece of cake.

Cody's hands finally managed to stick to the tasty yellow substance. But he didn't care about climbing up to the very top. So he decided to do what no kid had ever done. And that was starting at the bottom.

"You shall come to me, my tasty banana treat!" Cody laughed manically yet again.

With his words complete, his lips finally touched the sticky yet solid lollipop. Licking it around until the flavor touched the rest of Cody's tastebuds. He was trapped by its addictive flavor with no way out. And that's how Cody liked it.

"Mmmmmmmmmm... Cody loves ya..." Cody muffled in hunger.

But something strange started to happen.

The banana-flavored substance that Cody was tasting started to taste like hair. This was unbelievable. Hair never felt this tasty.

And then, the lollipop started to talk. But it talked in a scared expression.

"Please stop licking me... please stop..."

But then, the realization hit Cody like a 10-ton brick. When he opened his eyes, he wasn't licking at a lollipop...

...

...

...

...he was licking Mark's face! Cody saw this and did what he normally did in panic.

"AGGGGH!" Cody screamed.

"AAAGH!" Mark screamed as well.

And so did the nerd, who almost fell out of the kitchen table. In addition to his shocking moment, Cody was no longer at Candy Land. He was at the Lambert household, mainly

"CODY!? WHAT ON EARTH WERE YOU DOING?" Mark screamed again.

"I don't know..." Cody said, trying to tell him what happened, "I was at Candy Land drinking chocolate, and then I was eating candy canes. But the next thing I knew, I was sucking down a huge banana-flavored lollipop. Awesome time, huh?"

"Was that the reason you decided to suck the top of my forehead like a leech?" Mark said, starting to become creeped out by Cody's behavior.

"Yeah... who knew lollipops were a bit hairy?" Cody laughed. Mark on the other hand, wasn't.

"We gotta cut you off of that pot." Mark cringed, "I swear our parents can smell it from here. It's almost like they were smelling a burnt yule log!"

Having grossed out by Cody's drug-induced antics, Mark left the kitchen, hoping to study somewhere. Now Cody was all alone in the kitchen himself.

"Well, this bites burger butts..." Cody replied to himself, "I thought Candy Land was real. Now's who gonna go with me?"

His answer couldn't be more simple. Cody noticed Dana walking right behind him. He looked at her with a huge pot-induced laugh.

"Hey, Dana... wanna go to Candy Land?"


Is it just me, or is Cody always this half-baked in every episode I ever watched?

Until then, you know what to do from here. (;D)