CHAPTER 5

"So you had fun then?" Mike asked as we walked through the doors of yet another coffee shop we were trying out. It had been about a week since San took me ice skating, but I couldn't get over how awesome everything went: ice skating, the family dinner, the car. I'm sure Mike was sick of me repeating all my stories by now, but I don't care. If I could relive a day forever, that would've been it.

Maybe by having to do it over and over again, I wouldn't stress out so much about the hand holding and those laughing girls. Maybe by then, I'd be okay with the idea that I have fallen deep in love.

"Yeah, of course!" I replied happily, following Mike towards the end of the line, choosing to save those thoughts for later. I really wasn't trying to start hyperventilating in the middle of the café.

"I'm still a little mad that I missed your reaction when she told you your present," He sighed, "That would've been hilarious!"

"Whatever," I grumbled and rolled my eyes, attempting to keep my smile from growing any bigger at the thought of Santana's generous gift, "I'm still mad you even knew!" Mike just chuckled and shook his head before stepping up to place his order. It was always a nice little break being with Mike because he never really pressured me into talking about things that I wasn't comfortable with. Sure, there were minor slip ups and his jokes sometimes cut a little too deep, but overall it's a good time. Then again, anything away from the Rubix Cube that is my best friend, Santana Lopez, is a good time.

"That's awesome, I'm happy you guys are on good terms again." Mike smiled as he handed over some cash to the barista before sliding his wallet into his back pocket.

"Yeah, me too." I nodded after placing my order, "She's actually coming over later to help me with some car stuff."

"Santana and car stuff?" Mike snorted, "You going to have her change your oil?" Rolling my eyes, I shake my head.

"Uh, no..I need one last jump start so I can move my old car out of the drive way for the tow truck to come pick it up. It's kind of a two person job."

"Ah, I get it." He shrugged as he carried our tray of coffee and snacks to an empty table, "Good luck with that."

"San, where are you?" I grumbled through the receiver of my phone as I paced around my foyer, "You were supposed to be here an hour ago.."

"Yeah, I know. I was doing something and I forgot..I'll be there in a little bit."

Rolling my eyes and shaking my head because there's really no use in arguing with her even though I told her about coming over yesterday and reminded her this morning about it too; I just sighed, "Alright, just text me when you're outside."

Within six minutes, San's tiny green car pulled up outside my house. Slipping into my sweater and Vans, I jogged out just in time to see that San wasn't exactly alone.

"Hey Brittany." Sam greeted stiffly as he and San both exited the car, his hands digging awkwardly into his pockets. I tried not to scoff out loud at the sight of him and focused my attention on Santana.

"Sorry I'm late, Britt." San muttered as she tried zipping her jacket, "I was with Sam, we were-"

"That's okay." I cut off swiftly, not really caring what she and Sam were doing before this, then realized how rude that came off with Sam standing right there, "Hey Sam." I greeted realizing I hadn't said anything to him since he got out of the car then turned to San and smiled softly, "Sorry, mom's just been bugging me about getting the junk car out of the drive way for awhile now and it's starting to get to me."

San smiled gently at me, sort of apologetically, before turning to the new car, "Alright, well let's go then."

"Same thing we did the other time, I just need a jump start." I answered and waited for San to nod before spinning away toward the porch where I had the jump cables. By the time I came back, Sam was back in the car and San stood with her side pressed against her car door, her arms folded and shivering.

"It's fucking freezing, Britt, do you really need me standing out here?" She asked through clattering teeth, her voice laced with annoyance. I couldn't decide what made me annoyed even more, Santana wanting to help me out then taking it back or the fact that Sam was just letting her freeze. Aren't boyfriends supposed to, I don't know, give you their jacket when you're cold or something? Sure, San's got one already but he's sitting in the warm car while his girlfriend just stands there and turns to a human ice cube! He didn't even offer to give us a hand, not like I would accept it, but there are things that guys are supposed to do and, not to sound stereotypical or whatever, cars are sort of guys' territory, right? I'm sure it's just cause he doesn't want to get his pretty hands dirty.

Sam's a fucking idiot.

"No, you can sit in your car if you're cold." I shrugged, deciding I rather put all my sudden rage on Sam rather than my best friend, "I'll just tell you when to start it up."

"Kay!" She answered happily and quickly jumped in her car. With both cars face toward each other, I went to lifting the hood of my own before turning to lift hers. Through the windshield, I could see Sam and Santana looking to each other and smiling their stupid grins. I couldn't even hear what they were saying but I knew I didn't like it.

Have I said I have a little bit of a jealousy issue?

Just before I could tear my eyes away from the scene, San caught me staring. Sam was still talking to her, but Santana's eyes remained fixated on me as I wiggled my fingers under her hood and searched for the clasp. I tried looking away but the longer I stared back into her deep brown eyes, the further I seemed to drift off. The freezing wind whipping my hair across my rosy cheeks didn't seem as cold as her stare sent new warmth through me. Even my annoyance toward Sam seemed to dissipate!

Then in true Santana Lopez fashion, the corner of her mouth slowly twitched and her full lips formed a smirk as her left brow quirked up in the cutest way possible. Hardly able to contain myself, I bit down on my bottom lip, my cheeks already aching from holding back my own stupid grin, and hauled the hood up thankful for the forced breakage of eye contact.

It was much easier working without San's flirty eyes roaming all over me like she did last time so unashamedly. In no time, I had jumped my old car and had it moved out of the way so I could make room for my new car. After closing everything up, San got back out of her car to admire my work.

Well, not really admire. It was more like a nod before drawing me into conversation.

"Tonight is Sam's hockey game and I didn't really feel like going alone so did you maybe want to go with me?" She asked somewhat quickly because she knows how I get with the mention of Sam. I wish she didn't. I wish I didn't act like such a bitch about the guy, but I can't help it when she could do so much better than him, "It's not till later, but I'll come pick you up if you want to? He has to go there early to practice and all that."

"Uhhh.." I hummed out not really sure if I was in the mood to witness Santana mooning over the guy. I can barely stand seeing them look at each other so that would just be torture!

"Please, Britt?" She whimpered and reached out to tug a little on my hands as she pouted, "I don't wanna sit by myself like some loner.." I tried focusing hard on what she was saying, but my head went blank as soon as I felt her hands in mine. Mentally kicking myself because I need to control this shit and learn not to completely fall apart every time Santana does something to me, I let myself nod.

"Fine, I'll go." I sighed hopelessly. She smiled widely and dropped my hands quick before scurrying off back to her car, calling over her shoulder that she'd call me when she's on her way to pick me up.

"Sam's over there." Santana pointed out as we walked around the ice rink toward the bleachers where I recognized a few other people we knew. I nodded without saying a word as I followed San and looked around the semi-empty stadium.

"You wouldn't have been alone, Marley's over there and so is Kitty." I commented as we neared our designated area. She just looked over her shoulder at me and frowned.

"Yeah, they're best friends though. They'd probably just talk to each other." She answered simply, "You know, like you and me do."

"Like how we used to do.." I teased but San didn't think it was too funny. Upon seeing her frown just a little, I let my smile falter as I took a seat a next to her on the bleachers and greeted the others.

At first I thought that my joke was going to ruin the whole night, but we were back to our usual selves in no time. We chatted away with the others and commented on the match that we had no idea what was going on, but it soon turned boring. The people there were closer to Santana rather than me so I ended up paying more attention to my phone than the game or the people; after all, I was only here because she didn't want to be alone.

Sam barely came over to talk to Santana too which was also great. I don't know much about hockey, actually I know nothing about hockey, but I'm pretty sure he sucks. He just stood in the far corner the whole time trying not to fall on his ass or smug face, then he'd skate over to San and complain that his team mates had no idea what they were doing.

Again, Sam is a fucking idiot.

"Hey Britt, come with me to get some nachos!" San called up to me after speaking with Sam briefly. I nodded, happy to get my ass off the cold metal of the bleachers, and hopped down the steps before rejoining her side. "I'm starving, how about you?"She asked as she fell into my side a little.

"Yeah, I could eat." I shrugged as we made our way to the concessions area attempting ignore the way my arm warmed as the side of hers kept brushing past it. It wasn't really too crowded, Sam's team was the only one playing tonight and they weren't anything special, so the place was practically empty. However, as San as I turned the corner leading to the visiting bleachers we were met with a group of three guys walking in our direction, probably going towards the basketball court judging by their attire.

San was too busy talking about something Marley and Kitty said to her earlier to notice the way their eyes roamed her body, lingering on her skin and dipping low to the valley of her chest, as we walked closer. I was disgusted by the level of respect they didn't have for her. My stomach twisted at the comments they muttered to each other and how so unashamedly they continued to stare.

Santana was completely oblivious, but with beauty like hers, I'm sure she's gotten used to it.

I, on the other hand, was fully aware of the leering and as soon as the scruffy looking one uttered the sentence, "Damn baby" it was on.

Quickly, yet subtly, I slipped my arm around San's waist and put myself between her and the guys. I barely touched her jacket as I did so; the move was only enough to show them that I was here and I was watching them. I just wanted to show that those pigs couldn't just stare at girls like they were a piece of meat like that. Santana isn't a piece of meat and she certainly isn't his baby!

Their faces filled with shock as I scowled at them for good measure before I felt San's elbow nudge me in the side and my scowl faded. Tearing my eyes away from them and down at her, my anger dissipated.

"Huh?"

"I said, are you getting something too or do you want to share?" She asked before turning around to glance up at me then noticed my arm placement and quirked her brow. I withdrew my arm so quickly someone would've probably that I just got burnt. She didn't ask any questions, just laughed.

"Uhh, I'll get my own." I answered and followed her to the cashier so we could place our orders. We had just got our food when Sam, helmet wedged between his side and arm and his shaggy hair in a sweaty mess, came strolling up the low stairs to us.

"Hey, the game's over." San just nodded, mouth still full of melted cheese and tortilla chips, as Sam went on to slick back his greasy hair, "We lost. The guys are pretty down about it so we're going out to Jake's for drinks, did you want to go?" Sam remained looking at Santana; he didn't even glance in my direction, so I knew the invite wasn't extended to me as well which I thought was pretty damn rude since I was sitting right there. I rolled my eyes at the guy and went back to picking at my food.

"Mm, I think I'll just go with Britt. You should do some guy bonding time or whatever you boys do." She chuckled then looked to me, "Is that cool if I sleepover yours?"

"Uh, yeah that's fine." I stammered, shocked that she turned Sam down and wanted to sleepover. Ever since she started talking to Sam, our sleepovers have been pretty far and few between.

"We can have our own little party then!" She winked and gestured for Sam to sit with her so he could have some of her nachos before leaning over to me, "You've got alcohol, right?"

"Of course," I grinned and went back to happily finishing off my nachos.

"God, this thing is dusty." San scoffed as I handed her the bottle of vodka that my mom has been hiding on top of the fridge for years, "Is it still good?"

"I don't think alcohol expires, San.." I shrugged casually, "Doesn't it get better with age instead or something?"

"I think that's wine, B." She laughed and gestured for me to grab some cups from the cabinet while she went to pulling out the bottle of fruit punch and a bottle of orange juice we picked up on the way home. I just shrugged again and set the two red Solo cups on the counter and waited patiently for her to start pouring. She peered at the bottle of vodka in her left hand then the juices on the counter and furrowed her brow.

"What's wrong?" I asked through a giggle, "You want to mix it with something else?"

"No, it's just.." She mumbled, still staring at the drinks, "I'm not really sure how much goes in what, usually Sam makes the drink for me.." She looked up at me as if to ask if I did, but I didn't. "Fuck it, I'll just wing it." She began pouring orange juice into each cup, filling it about half way, before moving to unscrew the cap and pouring vodka for the rest of the way. She stuck a bendy straw in each cup, a pink one for her and a green one for me, and started stirring. I took the cup in my hand as I stirred and I could already smell the alcohol wafting up and it made my nose tingle. I took the first sip and instantly I wanted to spit it out.

"This is gross." I muttered and scrunched my nose, "I don't taste any orange juice like at all.." San took a sip as well and made a similar expression, except hers was way cuter than mine.

"You're right." She coughed, pushing the cup away, "Let's add more juice or something because this sucks."

"Good thing you don't want to be a bartender when you grow up!" I teased and leaned on the counter on my forearms as I watched her mix the drinks again. She just rolled her eyes playfully and bumped me with her hip causing her to spill a little orange juice on the counter. "See? You're already wasting my money!"

"Hey, I bought orange juice." She laughed huskily, "You bought the fruit punch. Here, taste this." She jutted out the cup to me and nodded to it.

Slowly, I took a sip and swallowed, the alcohol leaving a little trail of warmth down my throat. I could almost taste the orange juice this time, but the vodka was still pretty strong.

"Better?"

"Better." I nodded and headed to the living room where we started playing cards on the floor. We really didn't know what we were supposed to do in an empty house with a single bottle of vodka, we were more used to drinking at parties so the first thing that came to mind was playing cards.

We were about six games in when I noticed San started slumping more and more to the floor and her drink was nearly empty while mine was still pretty full. Her heavy lids flicked towards my cup almost as if she read my mind and quickly scrambled up to her knees get a better view of my drink.

"Holy shit, Britt, you didn't even drink that much!" She exclaimed, her knees pushing the cards in a mess. I could already sense she was a little buzzed just by how loud she was speaking and how she sort of swayed when she tried being still, it was hilarious.

"Well yeah, because it's gross." I replied matter of factly, "I don't think you're supposed to chug it like you've done. That's how you get sloppy." She moved her hand to press into her chest as her jaw dropped a little.

"You sayin I'm sloppy?" She slurred, slightly offended.

"No, I'm just saying that I don't drink as fast as you.." I amended and pointed down at the cards she messed up, "Look what you did, now we have to star-"

"I don't want to play cards anymore, Britt."

Her voice came out low and raspy as she dropped back on her heels and sipped on her drink again, her eyes never leaving mine as she drank. I swallowed thickly and picked my drink up too; there was no way in hell I could be sober for this if that's how she's going to look at me all night.

Even if whatever we were drinking as disgusting as hell!

"What do you want to do then?" I asked nervously as I dug my hands into the shaggy carpet to brace myself. Her playful grin slowly turned devious as she jumped to her feet and started dancing around to the music playing in the background. I just sat back and watched her be so carefree.

Sometimes I was so envious of her.

I brought my cup back to my lips and took a long sip as I kept my eyes on her clumsily dancing body. The music was moving to wasn't nearly as loud and I was surprised she could even hear it, but the way she moved was like she didn't even hear the beat. She was swaying to her own sound and it was amazing. She was kind of adorable in that damn you're drunk way.

"Dance with me, Britty!" She pleaded as she twirled about lazily. I just shook my head, all the sudden deep sips starting to make me feel a little fuzzy in the head and my body temperature rise.

Or maybe it was the scene playing out in front of me and how she called me by that nickname she only uses when she's half asleep or being really needy that had me smiling goofily.

"Come on Britt-Britt!"

"Alright, fine." I grumbled and tried pushing myself up off the ground, only to slump back down.

Maybe that drink is stronger than I thought.

I looked up to see Santana laughing, pointing her finger at me as she hunched over, her body still swaying out of rhythm. Seeing her laugh so hard like that had me start giggling too, and slowly I crawled my way to my knees and tried standing once again. I was about halfway there when Santana took hold of my wrists and pulled me up the rest of the way, allowing me to slump against her when I got to standing fully. Now that I was on my feet I could see why San was swaying so easily, the room wasn't exactly standing still.

"Woah." I mumbled, blinking my eyes rapidly to try and get the world to stop spinning. I tried regaining my balance but the sudden closeness and how my face was pretty much resting against her chest made it a little harder. Santana just laughed, twirling away from me so she could pick her empty cup up, before staggering into the kitchen.

"You needz a refill?" She asked over her shoulder as she lifted her red cup and wiggled it in the air and rounded the couch. I looked down at the floor trying to remember where I put my cup and missing the loss of contact then realized she had taken my cup with her too.

"I'm good," I answered and followed after her into the kitchen like a tipsy, lovesick, puppy. In the kitchen, she was trying her hand at pouring the drinks but with how fast she drank and how it was already affecting her, I knew I should probably take the bottle away before things got messy.

"Here, give it to me." I moved toward her and slid her hands off the bottle of vodka then wedged myself between her and the counter. As quickly as I moved between her and the bottle, she leaned into my back gently. I could feel her cheek press against my shoulder blade and her hands fall to my hip and her chest push into me like she was molding against me and even beneath my layers of clothes I could still feel the heat her body was giving off.

I gripped the neck of the bottle tighter hoping that I wouldn't accidently drop it.

"You're always so soft." She hummed, her voice barely above a whisper making me wonder if she meant to say that out loud or not. I sucked in my bottom lip and focused harder on squeezing the bottle. As I set it down and reached for the fruit punch, her hands slid from my hips and ran along my waist until she was practically hugging me from behind. I felt the need to brace myself because, damn, she feels so good!

Shakily I poured more fruit punching in her cup and mixed it before sliding to the side, "Finished." She did a little cheer and pulled her arms away from me and went for the drink excitedly.

She took a long swig and smiled happily to me, her eyes all half lidded and her lips shiny from the drink, "You should make all the drinks." I was still recovering from her drunken hug so I just grinned back shyly in response, "I could probably drink like twenty of these things!"

"Uhh, I think this is your last one." I laughed as I watched her take another gulp, "You're going to be so hungover tomorrow." She just scoffed and waved the thought away then went back to being her goofy drunk self. I didn't even bother to finish my drink and went to watching her stumble around the living room in her own little world instead. I made my way out of the kitchen and sat on the couch while she swayed with her cup in her hands and giggled.

"My cup, my cup." She snickered into her cup making her voice echo. I quirked my brow up at her and laughed confusedly.

"What are you doing, San?"

She just giggled more, "Sayin wassup to my cup, my cup."

Fully confused now, I just shook my head at her, "Yeah, you're cut off."

"No, you're cut off!" She snickered and straddled my thighs causing my whole body to stiffen. I sucked in my breath as I felt her thighs squeeze against mine as she swayed with her drink still in her hands. I pressed myself so far into the couch, hoping that it would swallow me up whole, but nothing. There was no way I could handle a drunk Santana when drunk Santana was even more flirty than a sober one!

"Give me this." I demanded and tried snatch the cup away; I couldn't do this sober.

"Mine." She growled playfully and tugged the cup away from my hands, "Get your own."

"Santana.."

"Brittany.." She parroted teasingly.

"Ugh!" I groaned in frustration because, God, Santana is the fucking worse.

And I love it.

"You're going to spill it." I scolded as she sat back on my thighs and wobbled a bit, satisfied that I had stopped trying. She took her sultry eyes off of mine for just a second, long enough for me to take the drink away from her and down the rest. I wanted to gag at the taste, but she was right, it did taste a little better than her version. "That's horrible," I scoffed and wiped my both with the back of my hand.

"Yeah!" She cheered, clapping her hands lazily as I tilted the cup up and emptied the last drop. She hopped off my lap and started skipping around the room again while I sat trying to cope with the heat travelling down my throat and the tingly feeling in my thighs from Santana straddling them.

"Hey, quit running around you're making my head dizzy!" I called behind me as San danced another circle around the couch. There was too much movement going on and before I knew it, I was slumped on my side.

"That's the alcohol, Britt-Britt!" She teased then paused when she saw my phone light up on the coffee table. I placed her empty cup down next to it and swiped open to see a new text message.

Stacy: Party tonight, wanna come?

"Holy shit, San!" I gasped, overcome with elation. Stacy was this really cute girl that I used to have class with. We swapped numbers awhile back when she needed help with our assignment but we've never really talked much. I just always thought she was pretty and whenever she'd look at me I sort of lose my train of thought. She was an innocent crush though, I never really thought anything would ever come of it.

"You always fucking talk about her!" San grumbled, her previous happiness fading as she jutted out her lip. I quirked my brow at her reaction to me showing her the text; was she jealous? I don't really remember ever talking about her as much as San thinks, just an occasional story here and there, but not always.

" Should I text her back? I mean, we obviously can't go..but-" I rambled aloud as I continued staring at the text. I kind of just wanted to see my phone light up again with Stacy's name on it because who doesn't want some super hot girl texting you? San just grumbled again and moved to lay down on the couch, I guess the fact that my innocent crush actually texting me was too boring for her.

Britt: Where?

"I just asked where.." I informed San, but I doubt she even cared.

"You always talk about her.." San scoffed again and started wiggling out of her spot on the couch closer to me until she was lying just behind me. I froze like I had earlier when she pressed against my back and hugged me because this time we were lying down practically spooning.

Shakily, I mustered up the use of my voice and tried focusing on the text rather than the way San's body seemed to fit so perfectly against mine, "I don't always talk about her.."

I don't know why I felt like arguing with San, there really wasn't any point. She's drunk so it'll probably be like talking to a brick wall anyway. The longer I stayed lying with her, the quicker my heart seemed to pound against my ribcage almost making it feel like I was about to pass out. This time, I knew it wasn't from the alcohol.

"I'm gunna clean up." I stammered and quickly rolled away from San and shuffled to the kitchen hoping to create some distance between her and I.

That didn't really go as planned as she followed in after me and before I could even throw away an empty cup, I was being pinned against the kitchen counter. I inhaled deeply at how close San was again, how she pressed her chest into mine, not even caring that my personal bubble was totally popped by now. She made me so damn nervous and anxious and warm and fuzzy and amazing and scared all at the same time.

"What are you doing?" I asked quietly as I watched her drag her eyes along my neck, past my lips, and up to meet my eyes. She didn't say anything at first, just smirked, before giggling again. I let out a breath of relief as all she did was drop her head on my shoulder and continue laughing. At first, I laughed too because what the hell was so funny to her that she couldn't even control herself, but then her lips started getting closer and closer to my neck and I could feel her hot breath hitting the skin there and suddenly it wasn't so funny anymore.

Again, I found myself pushing her away from me and fleeing.

And again, she followed after me every time but every time she caught me, her touch lingered a little longer and her lips moved a little closer. At one point, I had to put a stop to her and made an effort to get her to go to bed.

"Aren't you sleepy, San? I'm sleepy, let's go to sleep." I cooed and tried luring her into my room before she got any crazier.

"Hm, sleepy yes." She nodded lazily and staggered after me. I moved to the usual side she slept on and patted it for her, "Why aren't you feeling what I'm feeling Britty?" She pouted as she plopped down on the bed and slumped back against the pillows, her messy hair falling gracefully on the pillow. Even as a drunk sloppy mess, Santana is still the most beautiful person out there.

"I'm feeling a whole other thing," I mumbled and tried pulling the covers over her body, tucking her in so she wouldn't try to escape or anything, before I went to turn off the lights. I slipped in beside her, making sure to keep good distance between us, but she wasn't having that.

"Come here, Britt," She sang and tossed the covers off then rolled onto me, her thigh wedging right between mine as her stomach fell flush against mine.

"Ugh," I groaned as she pressed into me a little harder by accident as she started to ramble above me.

"You're so pretty, Britty. You're so fucking pretty, God, I love you so much. Britt, I love you like holy fuck you're so hot and pretty. You're the cutest and I hate when you talk about that girl."

I was so past baffled that I almost thought I was completely drunk right now and that Santana saying all those things were just my imagination playing games with me.

It wasn't though.

She continued moaning the same things over and over again, things I've always wanted to hear fall from her pouty lips. I was so damn confused but I wasn't going to over analyze everything now, I'd save that for tomorrow.

Her voice was just so damn raspy and scratchy and sexy and-

All thoughts stopped as her lips grazed my jaw, the feel leaving a hot trail tingly my skin. My eyes shot open at the contact as I griped the bed sheets tighter, afraid that if I did anything with my hands like touch her she'd disappear.

"I love you so much, Britt." She repeated and pressed her lips harder against my jaw and cheek and chin, "Why don't you love me back?"

My chest tightened at the question and suddenly, I felt constricted again and it hurt. Panic washed over me and I felt like jumping out of the bed and running.

"S-stop, San.." I groaned and tried getting away again. I couldn't have her like this, no matter how awesome it felt, I couldn't be some drunken hook up. San just giggled more and tried to continue her sloppy kisses as she started to grind against my leg that she had somehow straddled again.

"But Britt.."

"I can't." I sighed and used all the will power I had in me to roll her over back to her side of the bed. I knew if it were someone else in this position, they would've taken anything Santana gave them. They would've spurred her kisses on and let her ride their leg and ran their fingers through her hair and latched their lips on the hollow of her neck and tasted her sweet skin.

I couldn't do that though, not like this. Not when we've spent the last couple hours drinking. Not when it's alcohol in her system that's giving her the sudden confidence. Not when it's just convenient for her and definitely not because there aren't any boys around.

She hit the pillow with a low grumble before shrugging and mumbling about not feeling good. I let out another sigh as I passed her the water bottle I carried with me from the kitchen earlier and rubbed at her back soothingly when she sat up to gag. When she was done heaving, she slid back down against my pillows and rolled into me again, only this time she didn't try to kiss me. She seemed so helpless as she snuggled in close and nuzzled against my neck while her arms fell over my stomach. I didn't feel so panicky like before, partly because San was being quiet, and it made it so much easier to fall asleep with everything that just happened in the last ten minutes still fresh in my memory.

"Holy. Fuck. What happened last night?" San grumbled, squinting her eyes as she sat up, her hair sticking up like someone rubbed a balloon on her head. I chuckled at the sight but that just made San squint even harder at the sound, "Shh, don't yell.." I smiled at her adoringly before the memory of last night came crashing down on me.

"What do you remember?" I asked lightly.

"Not a damn thing." She answered through a raspy chuckle.

"Nothing?" I gasped, shocked.

"Nope." She shrugged.

Being jealous over Stacy's text?

Trying to kiss me?

Saying she loved me?

Asking why I didn't love her back?

Nothing?

"What happened?" She asked again as she scratched at her head.

"Well.." I drawled out shakily, "For starters, you were like this close to making out with me."

"Really?" She asked like I was joking then laughed, "That's funny."

Suddenly, I felt sad and somewhat disappointed. I heard her saying everything I've ever wanted her to say and more only to have it taken back like it never happened. The girl I love said she loved me too but she doesn't remember because she was fucking shitfaced! I seen it all, heard it all, but it doesn't mean a damn thing if I'm the only one that witnessed it, that remembered. I don't know why I expected her to remember, even if she did, I doubt she'd think anything of it. We're best friends, it wouldn't be weird if we kiss when we're drunk, right? That's a thing, shit happens, no need getting all heartbroken over it. No one said being in love with your straight best friend was easy.

Letting out a sigh, I muster up a smile, "Yeah, hilarious. Right?"


A/N Wow, I'm so sorry for the wait. This is actually a pretty tough story to write, even if I drafted it all out already, so bare with me. Also, I feel this chapter is super choppy so I'm sorry about that too. I kind of just wanted to get this out there so all mistakes are mine..sorry. LOL