Hey everyone, this is a one shot for AWChic. She wanted an alternate version of how Reid recovered after Maeve got killed. She wanted to bring in Emily and have her part of his recovery. I'll be honest. I'm not sure this is my best work but I hope you like it AWChic. Enjoy! This chapter is also in first person from Reid's point of view.
Enjoy and please review
All mistakes are my own
I always used to hate the dark, but it was my friend now. I didn't want to see the sun rising each day through the windows. It meant another day without her. Another day knowing that no matter how many times I called the now disconnected number, she was never going to pick up and talk to me. No letter would come either. One look and she got ripped away from me. Ripped away by the insanity of a bitch and a bullet. I don't know how to do this. I don't know how to deal with this kind of loss. My soul mate no longer exists. I was alone now. Forever, I would walk alone in life and think about what I could have had. The family that had fallen through my hands.
The same knock that had plagued my door for days filled the apartment. "Reid, it's Garcia. I'm just here to check that you're okay."
I wasn't going to open the door. I can't do it. Being lonely is what I need. Pulling the blanket over my head, I welcomed the safe warmth from it.
"I know you are going through a difficult time. Just remember that we are here for you. I'm going to leave this outside your door. It's a basket of things. I know you won't open the door but please, don't hurt yourself. Make sure you have something to eat and drink. We love you, Reid. Maeve was a wonderful woman and I know you need time to process what happened. Just remember we are a phone call away."
I felt the tears when she mentioned Maeve. I closed my eyes and felt the pain hit me all over again.
Someone was knocking at my door, late in the evening. I looked through the peephole and saw Emily there. I was too numb to feel shocked.
"Reid, it's Emily. I know what happened. You need someone to talk to and I'm here. I'm here to help you."
I opened the door slowly and saw her standing there. Her hair was longer but she looked liked the same woman I had confessed my headaches to. "Why are you here?" I croaked, letting out a cough. I hadn't had much to drink since the night before.
Her eyes told me everything. She saw all the pain as it filled my features. She didn't say anything as she stepped into my apartment. She almost tripped over one of the books on the floor but caught herself. She turned.
"Garcia told me everything that happened with Maeve and Diane Turner."
"Don't say that bitches name!"
I looked down, ashamed at my outburst. "I'm sorry, Emily."
Her soft hand came to rest on my back. "I'm sorry, Reid. I won't say it again. It's okay to be angry."
I broke down when she brought her arms around me. I sank to floor and she came with me. I sobbed into her shoulder and held onto her. She didn't talk at first and neither did I. It just hurt to feel. I wanted the pain to stop but it wouldn't.
"She's gone. I failed to get her back and now, I've lost her forever. She was my perfect match, in every way. I don't know why the world took her away from me. Did I do something wrong to deserve all this pain? Did she die because of something I did?"
"No, she didn't die because of something you did. Don't think that, Reid. Garcia explained what you had on Diana Turner. She was adamant that the object of her obsession would not leave until she completed her task. She killed Maeve because she was obsessed with possessing everything that Maeve had and that included her life. I'm sorry that Diana took her away from you but you need help to deal with all of this."
"I'm afraid to ask."
It was true. The last time I had asked the team for help, Maeve had died and they had witnessed the weakest moment of myself. Asking them for help seemed almost impossible. I know they want to help but part of me is afraid. I'm afraid that the pain will get much worse.
"You may be afraid but I'm here now. I can help you and then we can bring the team in. We can bring them in when you are ready."
"Did you come here all the way from London?"
"Of course," she smiled at me. Her smile comforted me. "I may live far away but I will always come to you when you need help."
I slowly brought the towel through my hair. Emily was cleaning up outside while I washed myself. It felt strange having clean hair. I don't think I deserve to feel clean. Walking out, I found a plate of food on the table and the baskets from outside on the table. She walked back into the room and guided me to the sofa. "I want you to eat this. It's only scrambled eggs and toast."
"I'm not hungry."
She knelt in front of me. "Don't lie to me when I ask you this. When did you last have something to eat? Something proper."
I closed my eyes and told the truth. "Two days ago."
"Eat the food. You need to keep your strength up."
She kissed the top of my head. For a split second, I imagined it was Maeve kissing my head. I watched Emily leave and picked up the fork. I pushed some of the food around before putting some on the fork and eating the food. She had kept the curtains closed and I was thankful for that.
I grabbed her hands as she went to open the curtains the next morning. "Please, don't!"
"I can't see the daylight. It makes everything too real. I'll know that another day has passed without her. I can't watch another sunrise knowing that she never will."
She brought her hand away from the curtains and held mine. "Reid, she'll never see one again but I know that she wouldn't want you never to see another one. It's time to face the light. It helps push away the dark."
She opened the curtains and light flooded into my apartment. She brought her arms around me again. "I think we should see the team. They've been worried about you. There are your family and they want to see you."
She held my hand the entire time we made our way to the BAU. I froze as the doors to the elevator opened. She gave my hand a gentle squeeze and I walked forward. They didn't know I was coming. I walked in and watched as they worked. They seemed sad. It took a moment before I realised they are sad because of me.
"Reid!" a voice called from beside us. Garcia came racing to me and brought her arms around me. Her calling my name had brought the team's attention to me. I hugged her back before coming away. I couldn't give her a smile. I wasn't there just yet.
The entire team came around me and I saw the looks on their faces. A look that told me they cared.
"I'm sorry that I haven't been around or answered your calls. I just couldn't face leaving my apartment or accepting help."
"Don't be sorry," Hotch said. "You can take all the time you need. We're here for you when you need us or want help. We're sorry about Maeve."
"I know," I nodded sadly. "Emily has helped me for the last two days. When someone travels all the way from London, you have to open the door."
Emily gave him a small smile. "Things will get better, I promise. You just have to deal with the pain, one bit at a time. Just remember you have everyone here to help you get better."
"We're about eat some lunch," Garcia said. "Reid, please come with us."
"I'll have lunch but, can we have it here? I don't feel like going to a public place."
"Sure, we'll order in," she smiled at me.
Emily led me to the BAU room with the rest of the team. In that moment, I knew that while I had lost the woman I had wanted to give my heart to, I still had a family in front of me. Plus, an extra member from London name Emily Prentiss.