"Softer Than Lace, Tougher Than Leather"

Rated M for language and you-know-what

Disclaimer: I'm not gonna say anything, but I absolutely do not own Phineas and Ferb, nor it's characters. Oh, and a little author's note... both Monty and Vanessa are of legal-age, just to let you know.


Chapter 1


The sounds of morning commute.

The smell of bacon sizzling inside OWCA.

The sound of orange juice being poured inside a glass.

And all through the room came an 18 year old heading to the bathroom to brush his teeth on a Saturday morning. He looked very handsome and well-built for his age, fighting alongside the organization's top agents. He put on his usual gray hoodie alongside his tight gray jeans and shoes. After being fully clothed, he looked at his phone to check out any messages he missed while sleeping.

With a smile, he saw a text message from his beautiful tough-as-nails girlfriend:

"Hey hunk, you ready for our anniversary?'

The unknown being texted right back.

'You know it. I'll come by later on my jetpack, and we'll see what we can do.'

With another smile, his girlfriend texted back.

'Sounds good. C U soon. Bye!'

The man then chuckled, putting his phone in his pocket.

This young, yet handsome fellow was the son of Francis Monogram. He went by the name of Monty Monogram. He had such a grin on his face, since he and his girlfriend Vanessa Doofenshmirtz, the daughter of his father's hated enemy known as Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz, have their first anniversary of being a couple for a whole year. Hard to imagine it's been 365 days that Monty and Vanessa had been together without their fathers knowing.

He entered the kitchen with a grin still on his face. His father instantly noticed it from the dinner table while eating his bacon, egg and cheese omelet.

"Well well well, Monty... looks like you're in a bright mood." Major Monogram said with a smile, "Anything going on with you?"

"Nothing much, dad. I'm just here to greet ya on this fine morning. Nothing much left to talk about." Monty responded.

While he began to grab a glass of orange juice, Major Monogram had something on his mind.

"That's good to know, son. I hope you don't mind son, but you wanna do something with your old man today?" Monogram pleaded, "I feel like we haven't had father-son bonding in a while since I'm always hiring Agent P to stop Dr. Doofenshmirtz's plans. But since Dr. Doof doesn't have anything evil planned today, I figure we can go out to lunch and go-karting like the good old times."

However, Monty blushed embarrassingly hearing this. There was no way he could juggle having to celebrate his anniversary with Vanessa and spend quality time with his father. Doing both would feel disasterous, considering that if Major Monogram caught his son with his sworn enemy's daughter, then it would be over in a snap. And Monty didn't want that to begin with.

"Wow, dad... I really love to do that with you..." Monty said, sighing with disappointment, "But I sorta have other plans. I have to hit the exercise gym, and then go shopping for clothes, and then play basketball with the guys. I'm a bit busy to say the least."

"Wow... you must be a busy guy..." Monogram sadly sighed, "Okay, I guess you do what's best then..."

As much as he hated seeing his father disappointed, Monty felt bad. So in response, he came up with a last-minute idea.

"I'll tell ya what, dad." Monty said, telling his idea to his own father, "Why don't we catch the 8:00 movie tonight? I'll let you buy any snacks you want. I have enough money for tickets to see that awesome action movie you wanna go see."

Hearing this from his own son, Major Monogram felt a single ounce of happiness.

"Well, I'm glad to hear that Monty?" Monogram smiled, "What should I wear to the movies? Maybe I should wear my "World's Sexiest Dad" t-shirt. I know how you young hipsters love to wear shirts that have words on them that express sexual humor."

"Yeah... I can't wait for that, dad..." Monty cringed a bit on that thought, "I gotta get going now."

"Make sure you don't go out too late, son. I gotta look my best!" Monogram said, waving goodbye to his son.

After Monty left out the door, Major Monogram didn't notice his 'paid' intern/friend Carl trying to take in a bite of the senior's omelet. But he knew it because he heard the sound of the fork digging inside the eggs.

"Get away from my Western Omelet, Carl!" Major Monogram shouted.

"But I'm really hungry, sir!" Carl whined, "It's not my fault I look like a single strand of string! Besides, you weren't having any!"

"I like my omelet cold, thank you very much!" Monogram shouted back, taking his plate away from Carl.

"Why?" Carl shrugged.

"When I eat food that's too hot, it gives me gas, that's why!" Monogram blared out.


On the outside, Monty was riding along in his jetpack like so. It's so awesome how this baby always came in handy whenever he wanted to take long trips out of town. Mainly if it's only by himself or with Vanessa.

While he was flying, Monty grabbed his phone tightly with one hand and started texting in the air.

'Bad news, Vanessa. I'll have to cut our anniversary short. I promised my dad I'd take him to the movies tonight.'

A few seconds later, Vanessa texted back. She must be one hell of a fast texter.

'It's okay. I got a little surprise for you waiting. Come quickly.'

"A surprise, huh?" Monty said, reading the message with his own eyes. In response, he texted back.

'Sounds interesting. C-Ya.'

Monty put his phone in his left pocket, almost nearly dropping it in the process. He hated to see what his phone would look like crumpled up in rubble. If it was broken, Monty wouldn't find a way to reach out to Vanessa without his father having to know.

His eyes reached far away to see the Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated building. He knew that Vanessa was inside there, trapped like the princess that she was. And to no surprise, Monty was always the knight in shining armor. Luckily for him, there were no dragons to stop him, considering the age in which humanity was living in now.

He finally got to the window where he recognized red lighting coming from his room. It's was either Vanessa trying to use her bedroom as a darkroom for photography, or perhaps she lit a red lightbulb. Either way, Monty wanted to find out from his standpoint.

Floating up in the air, he took a knock on the window. From there, he could hear Vanessa's voice from inside.

"Come in! The window's open!"

Hearing her command, Monty managed to open the window all the way and slide through like a slick lizard. After he got inside, he took off his jetpack and set it on the carpet floor. He dusted himself off...

...

...

...only to realize that Vanessa was not in her room. This couldn't be a trick. Monty swore he heard Vanessa's voice, and yet she wasn't in the room. Monty on the other hand, was disappointed and unimpressed.

"Great... who knew one little text message from my girlfriend could let me down. Some crappy surprise this turned out to be..." Monty sighed.

As much as he wanted to leave for having Vanessa prank him like that, he felt a buzz through his pocket, indicating that he got a text message. Still feeling irritated, Monty looked at his phone and read that single message in his own two eyes:

'Hey handsome... turn around.'

Feeling another sigh in his face, Monty turned right around...

...and saw a mysterious female with a whip in her hand and was studded in red crimson boots. She was hidden due to the fact she hid in the shadows all this time. Despite this, Monty's eyes saw a good look at the shadow, even recognizing the figure as she emerged.

When she did however, Monty was shocked as he ever could be.

"Vanessa? Is that really you...?"


Can anybody tell me what Vanessa is? If you guessed right, then you'll get an extra prize! I'm not telling you what the answer is though. You'll just have to find out until the next chapter of my story. BTW, it's a two-shot, just so you're not confused.