Blaine went to the room the second he got home and dropped to his knees by the bed. He watched the floor carefully and tried to force out all thoughts of his day, tracing the grain of the wood with his eyes.
Breathe, he told himself, just breathe. Kurt will be home soon and then he will take care of you and make you forget. Breathe.
Blaine's mantra could not force his doubts and fears from his mind. Today had been rough. The TA in his pop music class apparently hated him and continued to beat down every performance he gave, saying that Blaine should actually try to prepare something for his assignments rather than just wing it every week. But Blaine did prepare, he poured over his arrangements on his keyboard night after night, practicing the song until he was pretty sure the lyrics would literally be written into the flesh of his brain. Kurt could attest to that. Rachel and Santana could also very angrily attest to that as well, after many sleepless nights as Blaine played and sang.
Then his dad had called, though he wasn't exactly sure he had a reason other than to tell Blaine how much he disapproved of his life choices and his boyfriend and told him at least thirteen different times how stupid and naive he was for thinking he could actually make it in the music business.
Then, of course, all the stress from that accumulated into Blaine panicking during his dance test and falling flat on his face in front of the whole class. He rubbed absentmindedly at his wrist, still sore and most definitely sprained from how he had tried to catch himself.
He heard the door slide open and immediately straightened his back, his hands flattening out on his thighs. He was fine. He would be fine. Kurt was here to take care of him. Everything would be okay.
Until he heard their voices. Rachel and Santana, talking loudly about their days. His heart squeezed in his chest and he wrapped his arms around himself. He needed Kurt and he wouldn't be able to have him tonight. Not the way he really needed, anyway.
The tears started falling from his eyes before he could even register them as he fell forward, pressing his forehead to the cold wood floor. He covered his mouth with his hand and tried to muffle his sobs as he rocked himself back and forth.
God, why was he like this? He couldn't even go a day without needing to give up control. That wasn't normal. Most people didn't need their boyfriend to tie them up everyday just so that they could survive the night. They didn't need to spend the entire morning doing every little thing their boyfriend asked to make it through the day. They didn't want to wear a collar. He was broken and needy and he couldn't understand why Kurt could possibly put up with him like this. Why Kurt would so much effort into taking care of him when he could probably snap his fingers and a perfectly average boy would come running, ready to have perfectly vanilla sex and make his own decisions.
Blaine took a few deep breaths, trying to calm himself. Kurt wouldn't like that he was thinking like this. That thought calmed him down enough that he was able to sit back on his heels. He needed light. He needed sun. Something bright and happy to perk up his mood. Yes, that's what he needed. He could get by without Kurt domming him, he'd been doing it for years. He'd be okay.
Blaine straightened his shirt and smoothed out his shirt, wiping away the last remnants of his tears before leaving his and Kurt's area to go sit by the window in the living room.
Kurt knew something was up the second he stepped into the apartment. Rachel and Santana were sitting on the couch while Santana boasted some most likely made up story, frequently switching into Spanish and then back into English. But Blaine wasn't with them. He was sitting alone by the window, curled into the tightest ball possible as he stared out at the New York life below him.
"Baby?" Kurt said to announce his presence as he approached him. Blaine didn't respond. "Blaine, sweetie, what's wrong?" Kurt placed a hand on his shoulder but he shrugged it off, still not looking at him. Kurt glanced over at Rachel and Santana and, finding them satisfyingly engaged in their conversation, sat down in front of Blaine.
"Pet," he said quietly, "tell me what's wrong." Blaine sat up a bit straighter because of Kurt's commanding tone but he still shook his head in response.
Kurt paused for a moment. Blaine had never defied a direct order like that. Unless he was physically incapable of doing what Kurt told him he would immediately do it. "Blaine," Kurt said sharply.
Blaine sighed, his eyes flashing to Kurt for a second before they returned to the window. "It doesn't matter."
"It does too matter, because you're upset about it, it matters. Tell me."
Blaine didn't speak again.
Kurt clenched his jaw, looking over to the girls on the couch.
"Stay," he said sternly before getting up and walking over to them. Blaine twitched as though he wanted to move simply because Kurt had told him not to, but in the end he stayed where he was.
"What's wrong with Frodo?" Santana asked, her eyes trained on Blaine's still form.
Kurt shook his head, "I don't know. Would you guys mind giving us some privacy? Maybe going out for dinner or to Dani's or something?"
Rachel nodded, smiling sadly, "Of course, there is that new Dim Sum place that just opened up by the theatre that I've been wanting to try."
"Thanks," Kurt said, smiling back.
The girls grabbed their coats, both of them casting glances at Blaine before they opened the door. "Take care of him, porcelain," Santana said, something flashing in her eyes that Kurt couldn't quite decipher. She opened her mouth as though to say something else but then just shook her head and left.
Kurt took a deep breath to center himself before crossing the room back to Blaine. "Stand," Kurt said, letting the authority slip back into his voice.
Blaine twitched, but he didn't stand immediately. Not until Kurt place a hand on his arm his he actually get up. Kurt watched him carefully, he saw a strange amount of defiance in Blaine's eyes, but behind that he could see the instinctual urge to submit.
"Bedroom," Kurt said shortly, pulling Blaine along behind him. "Kneel," he ordered once he closed the curtain behind him. Once again Blaine's body twitched but he remained standing. "Don't make me ask again, Blaine."
Blaine's eyes narrowed but he finally sunk to his knees, his back ramrod straight as he looked up at Kurt.
"Now," Kurt started, "tell me what's wrong."
"Nothing," Blaine said, petulantly.
Kurt gave him a stern look, "Pet, I don't know what's going on with you today, but I will not hesitate to get the paddle if I have to."
"I'm not a child, Kurt."
"You're sure acting like one right now," Kurt shot back.
"No," Blaine scoffed, "I'm acting like a normal person, one that can make his own decisions and deal with his own problems without running to his boyfriend for help with everything. I'm being a grown up."
Kurt paused for a moment. "You like me taking control…"
"I need to learn to be on my own. I need to be able to take care of myself and stop relying on you to do that."
"But I like doing that… this had never been a problem before. What happened today to change that?"
Blaine shook his head, "It doesn't matter."
"Will you stop saying that? It matters because you, my always perfect and obedient submissive, are defying orders! Because you're so tense right now, even though normally, kneeling is the most relaxing position for you! Because you won't let me take care of you and I don't know how to deal with that!"
Blaine stood again, seeming sick of kneeling on the floor. "You can't always take care of me! You have a life and I have a life and we have roommates! Privacy isn't something we get, and so I need to not always count on you being able to be what I need, because you can't! You can't always be my Dom so I shouldn't always be required to be your sub!" Blaine took a step back, faltering from the hurt expression on Kurt's face.
"You don't think I can properly Dom you? You don't think I'm good enough for you?" his voice cracked and Blaine flinched. No, no, that's not what he meant at all.
The tears pooling in Kurt's eyes are what finally broke him. He collapsed back onto his knees, clutching at Kurt's legs. "I'm sorry, Sir," he whimpered brokenly, "I didn't… I didn't… I'm sorry."
Kurt ran a hand through Blaine's hair, but he didn't speak for a few minutes. "You always have the right to express your thoughts and feelings, Blaine," he began quietly, "but not like that. That was not okay."
Blaine nodded against Kurt's legs, "I-I know. I'm s-sorry."
"I'm going to have to punish you," Kurt stated.
Blaine sniffled, nodding again, "Yes, S-sir."
"But first I need you to tell me what set you off."
Blaine shrugged, finally pulling away from Kurt's legs. "I… I just had a bad day." He was staring at Kurt's feet.
Kurt cupped his cheek, nudging his head up until he was looking at him. "What happened?"
"I… my TA hates me. My dad called. And I bombed my dance test."
"Oh, sweetie," Kurt whispered, his thumb stroking over Blaine's cheekbone, "can you elaborate?"
Blaine nodded, "The TA in my pop class, told me, once again, that I need to stop winging my assignments and actually prepare for them. My dad… well, it was the usual…" Kurt nodded, he didn't need more details on that one, "and then… I just tripped during my dance and I fell and I think I sprained my wrist…"
Kurt held out his hand and Blaine put his injured hand in it. Kurt twisted it around a little and Blaine winced slightly. "It's nothing too bad, just a small sprain. We'll put some ice on it tonight and then have you wear a wrap for the next few days. It'll be fine," he patted his arm once before dropping it. "I know none of those things are good… but that shouldn't have cause this. Stress, sadness, yes. Not disobedience and the urge to pull away from me."
"I know… I just.. I came home, and I really needed you, but then Santana and Rachel got back before you and I realized I wouldn't be able to have you. I guess I just kind of freaked out."
"That's not good, pet. This relationship is about trust and you need to always remember that I will always do my best to give you what you need. Even if we have to be really quiet and sneaky about it so as not to freak our roommates out."
The corners of Blaine's mouth tugged up in a small smile. "I know… it won't happen again, Sir."
"Good," Kurt said, "now, for your punishment," Blaine stilled but watched Kurt expectantly, "Remove your clothes then kneel on the bed facing the wall."
Blaine hurried to comply, stripping and folding his clothes neatly before climbing onto the bed. He heard Kurt digging through the toy box as he settled back on his heels, lowering his eyes to the blankets. Kurt came up behind him, placing a hand on his back.
"Put your hands on the headboard," Kurt ordered, all business now. Blaine did so, stretching out so he was leaning against the headboard with his ass held out for Kurt. Kurt snapped their leather cuffs around Blaine's wrists before hooking them to the columns on the headboard. "Secure?" Kurt asked and Blaine nodded, mutely.
"I'm going to do five with the paddle, five with the belt, and then ten with my hand, pet."
"Yes, Sir." Blaine flexed his arms, trying to keep from squirming. "Do you want me to count?"
"No, I just want you to feel. To know that I can give you what you need, can you do that?" Blaine nodded again. "Do you want me to blindfold you, to keep your mind from wandering?"
"No, Sir. I'll be fine. Thank you, Sir."
"You're welcome, beautiful. Now just relax and feel."
Kurt's kneaded the flesh of Blaine's ass for a moment before sliding his hand down his thighs and retrieving the paddle. Blaine tensed, waiting for the first hit. Kurt swung it a few times through the air without actually letting it fall against Blaine's ass, watching as all his muscles constricted at the sound of the whoosh but relaxed as it silenced again. His ass twitched in preparation before Kurt finally dealt the first blow. Blaine rocked forward with the impact, biting his lip to silence his cry.
"It's okay, baby. You don't have to keep quiet. We're alone," Kurt ran his hand soothingly over the reddening skin before bringing it down again. Blaine cried out, his voice cracking. It had been so long since he'd been spanked, let alone paddled. They just didn't have the privacy to fully do one as a punishment. Kurt had to get more creative with his punishments, even going so far as to just make Blaine stand in the corner for ten minutes, because it was the only thing he could think of that could easily be hidden if one of the girls walked it.
The next blow was harder than the rest and Blaine gasped for his breath for a minute afterward, his vision blurring around the edges. The next two came in quick succession and then Kurt was dropping the paddle.
"The belt next," Kurt told him, going back to his position by the foot of the bed. Blaine nodded, swallowing once. The belt bit into his ass, the leather soft, but also unforgiving and Blaine moaned, his head drooping.
The next hit came across his upper thighs and Blaine jerked forward, crying out. Kurt drug a nail across it, pulling a broken whimper from Blaine's mouth, before bringing it down in the same place again. Blaine squeezed his eyes shut, a few tears slipping past and clinging to his eyelashes.
The fourth and fifth hits came directly across the middle of his ass, no pause in between, they still hurt, but the pain seemed less concentrated, a little fuzzy. The sound of the belt hitting the ground was muted and the only thing that seemed to be completely in focus was Kurt's hand rubbing in ass.
"Halfway there, baby," Kurt murmured to him.
Blaine nodded, blinking slowly at the headboard, his vision blurry.
Kurt's hand came down and Blaine whined, jerking forward. The pain radiated throughout his body and shot to his hard cock, hanging between his legs. He lost count of the hits and where they fell, barely able to concentrate on the sound of Kurt's voice praising him as he drifted. Kurt stopped after a while and came around to Blaine's head, he cupped his cheek gently, making him look at him. Blaine's eyes fluttered, glazed over and Kurt smiled brightly.
"Good boy," he whispered, rubbing his thumb across his cheek. "You're done now, it's over. You're forgiven." The corners of Blaine's mouth twitched up but Kurt could tell he definitely wasn't that present anymore. He ran his hand through Blaine's hair, ignoring the gel clinging to his hands. It had been so long since Blaine had gotten to subspace, and he really hoped the fact that Kurt had gotten him there tonight drove home Kurt's lesson that he could give Blaine what he needed, as long as he asked.
Kurt undid the restraints, gently easing Blaine down on the bed. "That's my good boy," he praised, stroking his hand lovingly up and down Blaine's back, "took that so well. Such a good boy." Blaine smiled tiredly, his arms curling around the pillow, still drifting in his subspace.
Kurt pulled their bottle of aloe vera lotion out of their bed side drawer, squeezing some into his hands before rubbing it gently into the red skin of Blaine's ass. Blaine moaned, rutting against the bed. Kurt smacked him once sharply on his leg. "None of that, pet, you're not coming tonight."
Blaine whined but stilled, smiling happily as Kurt peppered his back with kisses before replacing the lotion and pulling Blaine into his arms. Blaine blinked up at him, his eyes still glazed over. "You went really deep this time, huh?" Blaine just grunted, nuzzling back into Kurt's shoulder. "It's okay, sweetie, take your time coming back." He kissed his temple, rubbing small circles into the small of Blaine's back.
They stayed like that for a little while, Blaine very slowly coming back to himself, twitching every now and then as the world became less muted and fuzzy.
Then the door slid open. Blaine jumped, his whole body suddenly awake and he felt dizzy. He swayed a little in Kurt's arms as he sat up.
"Baby faced gays! We're back!" Santana shouted, and Kurt heard her drop something on the kitchen counter.
"You okay?" Kurt asked and Blaine blinked and reoriented himself.
"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. Just… came back a little too quickly."
"I'm sorry, sweetie," Kurt muttered, kissing his forehead.
"It's okay," Blaine said, "not your fault. Just the joys of having roommates…"
At that moment Santana peaked her head inside their curtains. She smirked as both boys hurried to pull the blankets up over themselves. "I was just coming to check and see that out ex-Warbler was okay, but I see that he is more than okay, so I will leave you two to your ooey-gooey romantic post sex talk." She smiled again, giving Blaine one last appraising look before snapping the curtain shut and walking away.
Blaine laughed, hiding his face in Kurt's shoulder. "See what I mean about the joys of roommates?"