Hi everybody, I'm really sorry for the long,long wait and I'm even more sorry 'cause this capter is edited by no one but me, so you will find some mistakes and I apologize, but it's my english.. Hope you will like it.. And thank you for the reviews :)
!New chapter! Don't forget to read the note at the end!
I come back to the dance floor but I don't find Rachel and Sam, someone behind me touch my shoulder I turn and Puck is there.
I haven't seen him since that day, I'm not scared of him, but I'm not so comfortable around him, Santana doesn't want him near me, I think 'cause she's mad at him but I don't know how act with him.
"Hi Brittany, you aren't scare of me, are you?" He says softly, I'm even so sorry for him, she kicked him out and he doesn't come to school anymore.
"How are you?"
"Good, you? Where have you been?"
"I'm fine, just out the city" he looks around.
"Why are you here?"
"I don't know, I wanted to see Quinn, even Santana, but I think she would kill me right now"
"You shouldn't talk to me Puck, she'll be mad at you, I don't want you two to fight again"
"She already is.. I wanted to apologize to you too" he says.
"You have nothing to apologize to me"
"I know but I still am.. then I wanted to fix some things.."
"What things?" What is he talking about?
"Me and Tina can't be a couple anymore, 'cause she doesn't even want to look at me, but you and Santana could still be, I know she doesn't want you to know it, I don't even know why, but I think you have the right to know, she i-"
"PUCKERMAM" even with all this noise and the music we can hear Santana shouts, I turn and I see Santana coming to us, Quinn running after her and I immediately place myself in front of her.
"Santana please" she looks at me for some second and she relaxes.
"How I have to tell you to stay away from her?" She says.
"She isn't your propriety Santana, I can speak to her" he replies.
"No you can't, I know she isn't my propriety,I don't want you near her, I don't want you here, I don't want you to say anything else, you said even enough, go away, don't make me repeat that another time"
"Or what?" Puck asks daring her, I can see something change in Santana's eyes, I place my hands on her face.
"Calm down San, please, he was only apologizing to me, he was sweet, you don't have any reason to fight please" she looks at my face searching my eyes, once there she relaxes again, I turn to Puck "go Puck please" he goes mumbling something.
"What's happening Santana?" I turn and I see the girl who was Santana with near us.
"Nothing" Santana says but she isn't looking at the girl, she's looking down at her feet.
"You should come back to your date" I say and she looks up immediately.
"Go San, I'm ok" I smile and she slowly go to the girl leaving me with Quinn, she gets close and after some comfortable silent minute she speaks.
"What did he tell you?"
"He told me that he wanted to fix something, something between me and Santana, he said that he and Tina couldn't be a couple but me and Santana still can, he was trying to say something Santana doesn't want me to know but she interrupted him"
"Tina called Santana" she says and I look at her "I know she's scared from us even if you told her to not be, but she was scared for you, the last time Puck talked to you Santana was a furious so she thought Puck shouldn't have talked to you so, for you she found the courage to go to Santana" I slowly nod, I'm happy that Tina found the courage, but my mind is somewhere else.
"What was he going to say?"
"Not my place or his place to say"
"I'm tired of waiting her to say it to me, you can't say it, Puck can't say it and her parents can't say it to me, how the hell am I going to find out?" I ask angrily.
"Maybe you shouldn't, if Santana doesn't want you to know maybe there's a reason"
"Don't be stupid Quinn, she doesn't have any reason and I'm tired of this game" I say and I go away.
After that I didn't see Quinn and Santana anymore, I danced with Rachel for some other hour and then we went home. I thanked Tina but she pretended to not know what I was talking about, obviously I thanked her for believe me when I say that they aren't dangerous, not for calling Santana and interrupts Puck, because I really want to know what he was going to say to me.
I turn and turn in the bed, I can't sleep, I'm more awake now than ever, I have to do something, I have to know, I have to know everything and why she's hiding it from me.. I take my phone and I start to write.
To San: I'm coming to your house.
From San: stay at home.
To San: try to stop me, you are better be there Santana, don't upset me more than I'm already.
I take my keys and I go straight to the street, I'm going to find out and I'm going to find out now! I start to walk, darkness is all around me, something catch me in an instant, I don't even saw what it was that I'm already in front of Santana's door, with her next to me.
"I didn't want you to walk alone at this hour" she says entering the house, we go up to her bedroom and I close the door behind me "why are you here Brittany?"
"I want answers Santana" I sit on the edge of her bed.
"I already answered every your question" she leans her back against the wall in front of me.
"You are hiding something and I wanna know it"
"I'm not hiding anything"
"Yes you are and I know because Quinn told me, because your parents were going to tell me and Puck was going to tell me tonight, but most of all I can see it in your eyes, you are hiding something to me" I stand up from how angry I'm now.
"It doesn't matter anymore"
"IT DOES TO ME! It all matters to me Santana when we speak about you, can't you see it? Yeah we broke up, I broke up with you because I were angry and betrayed, but nothing changed" I'm crying, my words are full of passion, full of love for her "my love for you never changed".
"I'm not good for you Brittany"
"LET ME CHOOSE" she's destroying me.
"I'm not gonna see you unhappy because of me, I already hurted you and it's not gonna happen again, you can't choose Britt because I chose to see you happy with someone else" she says looking at me in the eyes, I can see that she's hurt too.
"It's unfair Santana" I start to cry more, she walks to me.
"I know" she hugs me and I sob on her neck.
After I calmed down, I lean back disconnecting my head from her shoulder, she's right in front of me, her beautiful dark eyes, her perfect skin, her amazing lips, my hands hold tight her shirt, I can't hold it back, not anymore. I lean in furiously and I kiss her, she's surprised, but how can't I? I kiss her with everything I have, with everything I am, a kiss without tomorrow, without time.
"Britt we ca-"
"You own me Santana, I want this, I want you, please I want you" I feel sorry for myself, begging for her "please let you want me too".
We kiss again, she didn't want to let herself go, but now I can feel her in the kiss, in her body that is touching mine, in her hands on my hips holding my shirt, I can feel her. We keep kissing, I missed her so much, she starts to kiss my neck and my hands take her hair, god she's driving me crazy.
"I missed you so much" she says against my skin.
"You too" I say and I kiss her again.
I slowly take her shirt off, her body is so flawless, some scar is still there, but just three or four, I caress her back and I unlace her bra and I start to kiss all her skin from her neck to her tummy. She traces her fingers on my hips, I smile kissing her lips, she removes my shirt and I'm not wearing a bra, she lifts me up and I round my legs around her body, she brings me on her bed, she sits with me straddling her, I slowly unzip her pants but we stay there kissing each other, my front pressed against hers, we are grinding like waves against each other.
She lifts me a bit up and gently lay me down on the bed, she stands and take off her pants, she's on her knees on the bed, above me, she starts to kiss my breast, she kisses my tummy and then she unzips my jeans taking them off, we are only in our panties, she leans her body down against mine and I moan at the contact.
Our hands roam everywhere, I never felt so complete, I place my hands on her hips and I roll us, I'm above her, fuck she's so beautiful. I kiss her neck and I slowly remove her panties, she tries to roll us again but I keep her down, I kiss her flawless breast and I can hear her body reacts and softly moans come out her mouth.
I wanna touch her in so many parts of her body that I don't know where to start! Meanwhile she slides her hands in the sides of my panties and she caresses my thighs, she puts her thumbs out of them and slowly she lifts them down. Our tongues are fighting for dominance and neither of us want to give up.
"I-I love you Britt" she says parting our lips.
"You always stutter when I'm around" I said smiling "I love you too San"
We made love like out first time, it's amazing how our bodies are in sync, how they find each other, how they need each other.. She needs me and I need her, we need each other so much, I'm in heaven right now, I don't want this moment to end. We are in her bed, under the sheet, my head on her chest, her arm around my shoulder caressing my back and mine on her tummy. I can hear her thinking, what's she thinking about?
"San?" She tensed after heard my voice and I caress her tummy making circles with my fingers "what are you thinking?"
"Nothing" her voice is so cold.
"San please" I move my head on the pillow so I can see her.
"You.. You shouldn't have came here Britt.. It was amazing, I've missed you so much.. too much.. But it shouldn't have happened, I know what is gonna come and it's not gonna happen" she doesn't even look at me.
"Are you kiddin me Santana?"
"No Britt I'm not, please, if you don't wanna ruin this moment please.. don't say anything"
"Don't say anything?!" I'm speachless, I sit on the bed not caring to be naked "Santana you can't be serious, we just made love and, and.. Breaking up with you was the hardest thing I've ever done, now here I'm, with you in this bed, I want you, I always wanted you.. Please don't leave" she sits too.
"You broke up with me for a reason Britt, a right reason, don't forget it, I'm not leaving you but I'm not gonna stay with you, not in that way, we can't be together, I'm not good for you, you deserve someone else, the best" now I'm angry.
"WHY? Because you're a vampire and I'm a human?.. Good, then turn me" I say like nothing, she turns to me, not too shocked from my request.
"That's what I was talking about, I saw that coming.. You are loosing your mind" she stands and she starts to dress herself, she's leaving again, I can feel my eyes start watering.
"Because I want you? Then yes I'm fucking crazy"
"I will never turn you Britt, mark my word" I stand up and I try to stop her to leave.
"Why? If we can't be together because we are different then I don't want to be a human anymore.. Please Santana, we can be happy" she takes my hands off her.
"You will never be happy as a vampire Britt, you don't know what it means"
"But I will be happy with you" she looks at me for some second then she caresses my cheek and she leans to my face.
"I'm sorry, I'm so fucking sorry, I only brought you pain, tonight was.. I missed you to much, I love you too much.. I will always love you Brittany, for the rest of my life.. Goodbye" she kisses my cheek and she disappears.
"NO" I shout, but she doesn't come back, I collapse on the floor sobbing and the door slams open.
"What happened? Are you ok?" Quinn enters worries, she looks at me "ow Britt" she takes a blanket from Santana's bed and she covers me, she takes me and we sit on the bed, she caresses my back and I buried my face on her neck keep crying "it's going to be ok".
She tries to comfort me but I'm a mess. Eventually I fall asleep, I don't know how long after she found me, but I closed my eyes and everything went away.
I wake up and it's getting dark, I look around and no one is here, she isn't here.. Where's Quinn? She was with me, I shiver, it's cold and I realize that I'm naked, I stand from the bed and I start to dress myself. I go downstairs, I didn't even bring my phone yesterday, the guys are going to freak out, I enter the kitchen and Quinn is cooking something, I can see her back.
"Morning, how are you feeling?" She asks not turning to me.
"Fuck Quinn how did you know I was here?"
"I heard your thoughts"
"Obviously" I mumble "I'm.. I don't know" how do I feel?
"I cooked us dinner, you must be starving" she places our plates on the table.
"Thank you, you didn't have to"
"I wanted, you must feel as a shit" she smiles sadly and she sits.
"Yeah" I sit and we start to eat in silence, I don't know what to say, what happened yesterday was.. What it was? Something stupid if I'm right here now and she isn't obviously.
Once done she looks at me, I know she wants to help, but what she can do? She can't make change her idea. I really don't understand Santana, she is so frustrating sometimes, she is the most perfect person in the world but sometimes.. I just want her.
"Do you wanna talk? Yesterday you seemed really.. devastated" she says softly.
"She isn't going to come back" I feel something weird in my stomach and my mouth starts to feel dry.
"She is going to be here anyway, she can't leave you Britt, even if she wants, she can't"
"What do you mean?"
"She will be around, she'll hide somewhere to be sure you are ok"
"I don't wanna her to hide, I want her here with me Quinn, why can't we be together?" I don't understand, she loves me but we can't be together if she doesn't want to turn me.
"You a-asked her to turn you?" She read me.
"Yes but she doesn't want to.. You are a vampire Quinn, turn me, please give me the chance to be happy with her" she widen her eyes.
"I can't Britt, it's not easy to be like us and it would kill her"
"But it's killing me now Quinn, I only want her, what I have to do?"
"I can't lose her Quinn.. where is she now?"
"I don't know, maybe at her parents house again" she says.
"Bring me there"
"I think you should wait Britt, you are angry and Santana, I know Santana very well, if you talk now you two will fight, make some time pass" she tries but I can't wait.
"Not, I want to see her" I take her phone and I try to call Santana, Quinn doesn't stop me, I know that she can take her phone off my hand in an instant, but she stays there.
To Santana: Where are you?
To Santana: Answer me.
To Santana: Are you at your parent's house?
To Santana: I'm going to bring Brittany there.
From Santana: I'm not there.
"Where the hell are you?" I say.
"What?" Quinn asks.
"She isn't at her parents' house.. What she isn't telling me Quinn? Please tell me" she looks down.
"I can't Britt"
"Since when you listen to her?" She keeps looking down "I feel like this huge secret could be our chance to be happy"
"Not anymore" I'm confused now.
"What? What do you mean?"
"She'll be really pissed on me, but nothing would change if I tell you.."
"TELL ME WHAT?"
"Santana is special, she is part of, a species of vampires, there're two of them, who is born from a couple of vampires and who is born from a vampire and a human" I listen to her very closely "who is born from a vampire and a human will be immortal forever, but who is born from two vampires he can find his morality finding a person who can really love him despite he's a vampire" I widen my eyes, oh god, she can be mortal "But" Why there's always a but? "If that person breaks her heart, a lot of people don't accept the vampire thing, he would never be a mortal"
"What? It's stupid.. Why the hell she didn't tell me?"
"She wanted, she was going to, she was scared, she wanted you to live your life normally, but while she was thinking what to do Puck told Tina"
"It means she's immortal for.. Ever?" She nods "not, I still love her, yeah I didn't get it well at the beginning but I never stopped loving her"
"I know Britt but you two broke up and you were a mess, she was a mess"
"I have to speak to her, to someone, someone else knows this story right? I have to .. Bring me to Maribel and Ricardo please"
After we fresh up a little we start the journey to Santana's parents house in the same way as last time. After half hour we arrive, Ricardo was already out the house, was he waiting us? Quinn lets me get down and we walk to him.
"Mr Lopez" I say and he smiles.
"Call me Ricardo Brittany" He hugs me and then he turns to Quinn "our little Quinnie" they hug.
"I'm not so little anymore!" She says smiling.
"Yeah but you and Santana will always be our little babies" he says "come on Maribel doesn't know you two are here" we enter the house "Maribel honey we have guests"
"Really?" She says from the kitchen, we join her and she smiles "Brittany! Quinn!" She hugs us "come on guys sit, what can I offer you? Coffee? Teh? Cookies?" She didn't leave us the time to answer that she already took everything she can offer.
"How are you Maribel? We haven't saw for a while" Quinn says.
"I'm good Quinnie, how are you?"
"Fine as always"
"So, Santana isn't here, should we be worried for your visit?" Ricardo asks.
"I don't think so" I say, everybody's eyes are on me, Quinn places her hand on my knee trying to reassure me "I want to ask you something"
"About what honey?" Maribel asks.
"Quinn told me about the immortal/mortal thing" they look at her.
"Quinn" they are surprised, almost shocked.
"I know she didn't want, but what changed? They broke up already"
"I'm happy she told me, Santana doesn't want me to know probably to not let me feel guilty now or..I don't know why , anyway I have something to ask" I say.
"I don't know Brittany, Santana-"
"Isn't here Maribel, please, Santana didn't want me to know, I know but she can't decide everything, I love your daughter so much that.. I can't breathe sometimes" I place my hand on my heart "Quinn told me that she can't be mortal anymore, but I love her, I always loved her, I broke up with her but come on, I was shocked! who wouldn't have been? But even that I still loved her"
"It's so amazing hear you say that" Ricardo says.
"yeah, but I need to know if there's a possibility that she can be mortal again, because I love her since the day I met her, never stopped, even if she is a vampire.. I have to admit that I'm a lot pissed at her right now, but I think we can fix everything"
"What has she done?" Maribel asks.
"She's the same Santana" Quinn says.
"She doesn't want to talk to me, she doesn't want me, to hear me, she doesn't let Puck get near us, she-"
"Where is Puck?"Ricardo asks.
"We don't know, Santana kicked him out" Quinn says.
"She doesn't want a lot of things and she run away ..again.. I need to know that there's a change for us, I need her to become mortal 'cause she doesn't want to turn me so" I continue, Maribel caresses my back with her hand.
"Yeah we know how Santana can be, she close herself like a shell and then she hides" she says.
"Anyway to answer your question.. We don't know Brittany, you know, that story is more like a legend, it was born so many years ago, right now there aren't couple like that 'cause usually vampires dates vampires or they just turn their partner. We don't know anyone who can say what can really happen, 'cause if they turn mortal they die like humans, when Santana was born we searched them but we didn't find no one so, we can't say anything sure to you, I'm sorry" he says.
"It's not fair, I only want a chance with her" I say low and some tear starts to fall from my eyes.
"I'm really sorry Brittany, I really like you and I'm sorry that Santana is acting in this way, she has some difficulties running her self" Maribel says.
"what about her heart?" Quinn asks.
"what about that?" they ask.
"it beat, she told me she felt it beat"
"sometimes when I'm with Maribel I can feel it beat too, it's love Quinnie" Ricardo says.
"She isn't here right?"
"No she didn't come here.. I think you wont see her.. Again"
"How can you say that?"
"We know Santana Britt" Quinn says "I know her, we spoke about things that.. I know her.. I know that she wants you to be happy and I think she is gonna let you be free"
"This is her problem, her fucking problem is that she thinks she can fucking decide for everyone, she can't decide for me, I'm a person I have to decide waht's the best for me, she can't just do what she wants" I start to cry.
"Maybe we should go home"
"Why don't you stay here for tonight?"Maribel asks.
We decide to stay here, also because I'm a mess, I go into Santana's room and I law down on her bed.. I can't believe it, she left. Now I'm even more pissed at her. I came here for nothing, I will never know if we could ever be a couple. I don't think I could ever forgive her to have taken this chance from us, only because she's so.. Stupid, yeah she's so fucking stupid . She owns me a lot of explanations.. I want to know so many things, but right now I only want to know where is she..
Where are you Santana?
I can't believe it, she wanted me to turn her.. I hate me for being a vampire and she asked me to turn her into.. Nope she's crazy! I will never turn her in something so.. She's so sweet, so innocent, so.. Brittany. I had to do it, I had to leave, she would have keep asking me and.. I can't. She can have happiness, she can have a family, a real one and I want her to find that, I want her to be so happy. I can't stay with her. You can read it in books or watch it in movies, but until you don't do it by yourself you can't know how much it hurts to let the woman you love go, yeah you're doing it for the best, for her best, but it's killing me inside. It will ever get better?
I can survive knowing that she hates me because of this instead 'cause I turned her in a vampire, or because she's unhappy, I can do it, I can love her from distance. I can love her even if she is hating me right now, I pissed her so much.. I pissed a lot of people, her for running away and shut her out, for lying to her, Quinn for make her hide things for me and walk away, Puck for blaming him, for kicking him out, for push him away from everyone, my parents, I know they are disappointed by my actions.. What have I done? She's at my parent's house now, if I go there my dad would know, I only have to wait. Wait for her to go home and move on and maybe if I'm lucky enough she will understand why I did it, why I run away, why I didn't turn her.
TWO WEEKS LATER
Quinn called me like..148 times, I didn't answer once. If I did it she would have tried to convince me to come back home, to talk to Brittany. I took a room in a hotel, I'm not far from them but I have to take attention, if I get too near them Quinn could read my mind, I left the school some days ago and now I don't know what to do. I feel like a spy, I follow Brittany from school to home, she's.. She's I don't know, down and I can't do anything else that blame my self. She and Quinn got really close in these two weeks, I'm happy that Quinn can help her, because Rachel and Sam don't know about us and Tina, she only sees her point of view, she hates us and nothing can change her mind, this story can only give her more reasons to.
She slept at my house with Quinn sometimes, I think she is waiting me to come back. I wanted to go there and hug her, like that time at her house, but I can't, I can't come back to her, it only would confuse her. I need to talk to Quinn, I could talk to my parents but they aren't near Brittany, I only need Quinn, I know I can trust her.
To Quinn: ehy Quinn I know you are angry at me, but I need to talk to you. Please meet me, but don't tell Brittany. Please
After some minutes she answers me.
From Quinn: You can come home, Brittany is away with Rachel today.
Some seconds after the text I'm knocking at her door, Quinn opens the door slowly, she looks at me and then she hugs me tight, I immediately hug her back. We break the hug and she lets me come in.
"You look fine" she says.
"I am" I say "thank you for-"
"You're my best friend San"
"And you're mine.. I stayed out of trouble, I was only thinking and out Brittany's way.I'm here to ask you something" she starts to cry, I'm a bit confused.
"San I know I told you I would have done, but right now I can't, it's too soon" she says while sobbing.
"What are you tal- oh, no Quinn, I wasn't talking about that"
"No Quinn, I can't now, I have to.. There's Brittany, I have to see she's fine, that she's happy, I have to see, I need to see I made the right choice" I say.
"She's so mad at you"
"I know Quinn, do you understand why I did it right? Please Quinn tell me you understand"
"Yes Santana I understand, but I wouldn't have act in that way, I know that it wasn't easy for you, but Brittany is.. She's lost"
"That's because I had to leave Quinn, she doesn't deserve this, she asked me to turn her Quinn"
"I know" she says.
"It's insane, how can I turn her in the thing I hate the most? She would have insisted"
"San we went to your parents house" I nod "we spoke about you, your particularity, nothing is sure, the story isn't.. You could have be mortal .. Or you couldn't ever have been, no one is sure about that, maybe if you stay with Brittany you can turn mortal anyway"
"What if I could never have been? What if that story isn't true? What choice I have then? The only one is to turn her" I say.
"So you are going to stay away?"
"Yes, I wanted to talk you about that, I need to ask you a huge favor.. Can you look after her for a while? just make sure that she is out of trouble"
"It's not a problem, I love Brittany, but how long are we talking about?"
"I don't know, I can't stay here, I risk to meet her and I need to stay away for a while also for my self, until I'll be a bit better, then I will come back and look after her" I say.
"Do you really want to do this? Look at her for the rest of your life?"
"Yes" I say without hesitate.
"Ok.. But we can see each other right? You are not going to disappear from my life too right?"
"I'm not" I smile.
"Can I talk to her about today?" I look at her.
"Yeah I think she needs to know that I won't come back"
" She already knows, but I think she need to hear that from you" she says.
"I can't.. I'm going to take my things now"
We pack my things together, I don't know where I'm going to go, but I need a new place. I greet Quinn and then I left. Once at the hotel I start to think, I need to tell her and if not in person I'm gonna write it her.
The fact that I'm really pissed at her is helping me to go on, but I'm still sad, even if I'm pissed I care about her. Quinn's helping me a lot, she's an amazing friend, she hears me, she really hears me and we talk a lot. After my day with Rachel I need a break, I think I could sleep a whole day, after dinner in fact I lay down on my bed and I fell asleep immediately.
I feel shivers on my body, what the hell..? I sit up and the window is open, it was closed yesterday, a light enters from the window and it enlightens something on my bed, what's that? A letter. I run to the window, I look around but she isn't nowhere, she was here, I turn and I look at the letter, I slowly sit on the bed and I take it on my hands. "Brittany" is written on the front, it's her handwriting.. I open it.
There are no words that can describe how sorry I am, I know you are mad at me, so mad and you are right.
At the beginning of our story I thought so many things, but I didn't think what it would have been be in love with you, I didn't think that it would have been possible, I never loved someone, really loved someone, I didn't think about your reaction knowing who I'm, I was too surprised, too shocked, and when I started to think about it I freaked out.
I don't want you to be like us Britt, I love you too much to see you turned in a vampire, I hate myself for being this. You don't deserve such a thing.
I think you know why I'm writing you.. I want you to be happy, be happy Britt, you are an amazing person, the most perfect one. I won't come back, I'm gonna be somewhere, you are going to live your life without me.
Find someone who can give you all you want Britt, because I can't, I can't say you "forget me" but please try, I don't want you to feel bad 'cause of me, you don't deserve it. I want you to know that I'm doing all of this because I love you Britt, I love you so much.
Meet you was the most beautiful and amazing thing it ever happened to me, you turned my world upside down, you'll be my love for the rest of my life. Please move on Britt, you deserve to be happy.
I love you,
3 YEARS LATER..
I still live in New York, Brooklyn, I made sure to be a little far from Brittany, she lives in Manhattan. After she graduated she moved there, it's near her work, she still work at the same dance studio she worked years ago, today is an important day for her, she brought the studio and she is expanding it and today is the open day. I'm so happy, her dream was to dance and now she is going to dance everyday, in these years she also worked in some show in Broadway, she was amazing, I never saw someone dance in that way, in these years I also saw her go out with some girls, it wasn't easy but I'm happy that she moved on.
Now she has a girlfriend, Laurel, a good girl, she's funny and sweet, I like her and at the same time I hate her! They have been together for 10 months, she works in a travel's agency, they met at Brittany's graduation and slowly they built their relationship. The first time they had sex I cried so much, the others times it wasn't a serious thing, but with Laurel I could see that she wanted more that only sex. Quinn is still here, we see each other every weekend, she's still friend with Brittany, but never once she lets come out about me, she told me that sometimes Brittany still thinks about me, I think about her all the time, right now I'm thinking about her.
I work for a magazine, I write articles at home, it's amazing because no one see me so I can stay here for all the time I want. Obviously I don't firm myself as Santana Lopez, my name in the magazine is Christine Porte and I write about nothing particular, every subject can be mine.
Now here I am, outside her studio, I shouldn't be here, I don't think she could see me and then she's busy with her guests, there are a lot of people, I can see Quinn talking with her, I don't know if Quinn already know I'm here, Laurel joins them, Brittany kisses her and Quinn smiles and then she leaves, my phone starts to ring, why is Quinn calling me?
"You should hide better"
"Fuck" I mumble.
"I'm kiddin, I know where are you only 'cause I read your thoughts, I knew you would have come"
"How are things there?"
"Good, she's really happy, a lot of people are here and all of them signed them self or their child" she says.
"Good, she deserves it, she worked really hard to arrive here"
"Yes.. Laurel is here"
"I know, I saw her" I say and I sit on a bench.
"You never told me anything about her, about what you think I mean"
"Obviously I'm not gonna hug her, but she's a good girl, I like them.. Together"
"Yeah, I think she could be the one"
"WHAT?! What are you talking about?" The one? What? are they thinking about marriage already?
"No I didn't mean in that way San, the one to move on, you know, to kinda.. replace you"
"Oh" sadness hits me, but I knew that it was gonna happen, I wanted that to happen.
"Who are you talking with Quinn?" I hear from the phone.
"M-my mom, why aren't you with the others?" Quinn asks.
"It's time for the cake, I wanted you there for the photo" Brittany says.
"I'm coming" I hear the door closed "she left"
"You should go" I say.
"You know she's gonna think it was you right?"
"That's because you should go there"
"Ok, talk to you soon"
When Quinn comes back there I see Brittany look at her, searching her phone, they take the photo all together and then they drink it on, I know I made the right choice now, when I see her so happy I know I did. I stand up and I start to walk toward home, leaving behind me the imagine of her and Laurel kissing.
It's amazing, finally my dream, I have my own dance studio, all the people I wanted here there are, someone isn't here but it's amazing anyway. I see Quinn looks out and then go in a dressing room, why has she to leave? It happened sometimes when we were together that she hides because of her phone, who is she talking with? I follow her, I have to be quiet, she could hear me, I get near the door .."..in that way San, the one to move on, you know, to kinda.. replace you".. It's Santana, I open the door and she looks at me surprised.
"Who are you talking with Quinn?"
"M-my mom, why aren't you with the others?" She says.
"It's time for the cake, I wanted you there for the photo" I say looking at her phone.
"I'm coming" I close the door and I join the party, I look out but I can't see her, I know she is here, I thought about it, the possibility for her to be here, now I'm sure, but where? Laurel arrives and starts to kiss me, I open my eyes.. THERE!
A girl is walking on the street, dark long hair, black jeans, grey t-shirt and blue sneakers, it's her, after 3 years I saw her again, not completely but it's something. She's here, has she been here the whole time? Even in these three years? Sometime I woke up in the night and went to the window to see if she was there looking at me or sometimes when I was out or working or even at home I felt observed, maybe it was only my imagination.. Or it was her, like she did when we broke up.
"Britt?.. Brittany?.. Britt!" Laurel calls me.
"Are you ok?"
"Yes I'm fine" I drink a glass of water and I look at Quinn, she knows, she talks to her, it has been a while since I asked her about Santana, sometimes I even forget about her.. even if after awhile it comes back to me, I go to Quinn and I can see her tense.
"You already know the answer Britt" she says not even looking at me.
I come back to Laurel and we keep parting with the others, I try to stay up, when the memories of Santana come up I fall a bit down but I can't, not in this important day, not when I'm with Laurel, it's not right. I really like Laurel, after Santana she is the first one who I have a relationship with, the others were only hooks up and after Santana I beware with who I fall..After her a lot of things changed. Laurel it's an amazing girl, I told her about Santana, about our relationship I mean, it was weird speak to her about Santana, but I needed to, even if she isn't in my life anymore it's a huge part of life, Laurel doesn't understand why since we were together for less than 5 months, but I can't tell her all the truth about Santana.
Now we are at my home, we are laying on my bed, her hand is interweaved in mine, she's here with me, but I'm not really here with her. I almost saw Santana today, she was there, she was really there and I almost saw her, I think about her and the memory about that morning comes up, the day I read the letter, I was.. Angry, really really angry. She wrote me a letter, she didn't have the courage to face me, I just wanna hit her, I cried so hard that day.. And the day after that, and again, and again..
Laurel fell asleep, I go into the kitchen and I drink a glass of water, I take my phone and I sit near the window, it's a beautiful night, so many stars are in the sky. I unlock my phone and I ended at the photos, I still have some of our photo, with Santana I mean, I didn't delete it, they're memories.. I close the photos and I open the contacts, I go down until my eyes catch "Santana", and now? I click on it and I wait, I hear the sound of the rings.. Suddenly it stopped.. What?.. I look at the phone and the call is open, she picked it up, this is the first time I called her, I was too angry to call her at the beginning and then I just wanted to go on, but now she's on the other side of this call. We stay silent, I can hear her breaths and probably she can hear mine, I take the phone off my ear and I hang up.
Sometimes I even understand what has she done, it seems some movie gesture, but I'm not ready to forgive her for walk away, maybe I won't ever be ready to, even if she's Santana, my Santana. Or just, I didn't forgive myself for let her go, for broke up with her, I don't know, it was years ago, we made mistakes, she made hers and I made mine and now, I moved on, I didn't forget her, I can't but I did move on, Laurel is here, she doesn't have any "weird problem", it's just a girl, as me, nothing is complicate with her.
I wanted to talk to Santana, but probably it's not the right choice to make.. She took hers three years ago and now I took mine. I know she's there somewhere looking at me, I know she still love me, as I do too, but I hung up.. I hung up.
So.. would you kill me if this story would end like this? It's a end, not the usual happy ending but still! I really like this ending! Anyway what do you think? it was really bad to read it with my mistakes? I hope not..
Tell me what you think, if you didn't like this end or if you do, I will consider your thoughts, and if the most of you want a different end, like Brittana together again, I'll write another capter, but you need to tell me ;)