Love and Other Drugs

Author's Disclaimer: No, I still do not own Labyrinth. Nor any of the songs that I make reference to. All rights go to their respective owners. Also, while coffee puts me to sleep, it tends to affect everyone else in the opposite way, so I figured this would work. Jareth is having a good day and is now hyper (or as close as he will ever be). These are his adventures. Caution: silliness ahead! Enjoy!


"Jareth, darling, it's time to get up."

"Not yet, Precious. Can't I admire you here next to me a little longer?"

"You can do it in and out of bed, my husband. Now, do I have to mess up your hair to get you moving, or will you simply be a dear and come over to help me out of bed?"

"Perhaps if you kiss me first, I would help you willingly."

"Six months we have been married, and already you are spoiled. What shall I do with you?"

"You could start by kissing me," said Jareth, slowly stretching next to Sarah.

"I suppose it wouldn't hurt. It can only help me right now."

"Help you with what?" asked Jareth worriedly.

"With what I need to say to you. Unfortunately, it requires me to leave for a few hours, but I promise it won't be long, and then we can talk about it all you want."

"What has happened? Is it about the family?"

"In a way, yes. It affects them, but more you. I think you'll be happy, Jareth."

Now he was next to her, holding her hand. "Well, what is it?"

"I'm pregnant. I'm going to the doctor for a check-up, then visiting Karen for more help. I didn't want to tell you until I knew for sure."

"Is that why you visited the healer a few days ago?"


"Do you know if it is a boy or girl, yet?"

"No, it is still too early. But, we are going to be parents. Isn't that wonderful?"

The joyful glow in Sarah's face was matched perfectly by the smile on Jareth's face. The hug they shared then was more reverential than any, but just as warm and tender.

"In that case, Sarah, I am going to have to be extra careful with you now. Perhaps you will allow me to carry you around bridal-style more often now."

"Keep dreaming, Jareth dearest. I'm a strong, independent woman who can handle most things on her own still, even if I like letting you help me because I love you."

"I'll bide my time, Precious," he said before kissing her. "I'll have you in my arms soon."

"Perhaps I can be convinced later tonight, after I get back."

"Oh, you will be."

"We shall see. In the meantime, I have to leave now to go see a doctor Aboveground, but I'll be back later. Stay out of mischief in the meantime."

"Me, get into mischief? Whatever made you think I would go and do that?"

"Considering the wide grin on your face, I wouldn't put anything past you. Try not to take over anymore kingdoms for the future heir while I am out, okay?"

"Anything for you, Precious," he replied bowing.

"Good. I love you."

"I love you, too. Be safe."


And so, Jareth was alone in his bedroom, and he felt great! He almost felt like roaring, but refrained, for fear of the goblins coming in to check on him. It was time for breakfast, and then he could plan his night with Sarah.

After sitting down, he realized that Sarah's place had been set for her. Normally, he would just tell the goblins to stop being silly and kick one for not realizing that Sarah wasn't there, but he was feeling happy and adventurous today. It was time for a slight change as he looked at Sarah's spot.

Yes, the chefs would have to start preparing Sarah different foods now that she was eating for two, and more dresses would be needed to accommodate her eventual size. He made a mental note to contact the main clothiers, for new clothes for her, and maybe another pair of gloves for himself, to celebrate the grand occasion. Maybe another pair of boots as well.

But, getting back to food, Jareth began to wonder about the hot mug that Sarah now drank every morning. While they had been dating, Sarah never drank coffee, and then right after they got married, she started drinking it, as, according to her, she now had a reason to drink it. He grinned to himself as he thought about why she was not sleeping as much at night now, and was satisfied with that. It helped that they had a child coming, too.

However, the question still remained: what was in this black coffee that she drank every morning? Why was it necessary to bring it from Aboveground to drink it? How could it possibly keep her that awake? There was only one thing to do, and that was to try it for himself. He took a sip, and found that not only did he like the smell, but the taste as well. Since it had been sitting long enough, it was also the perfect temperature to drink, so he finished off that mug quickly, and asked for another to be brought around.

When the goblins finally came to take the mug and the rest of Sarah's settings, Jareth enjoyed kicking two goblins, and found that his legs had some extra "kick" in them today, which made him feel even better. The goblins "Ooo'd" and "Aww'd" in appropriate wonder, which prompted Jareth to say, "If my legs are still feeling this good in an hour, I will be glad to try an even higher kick on more of you, as I am feeling particularly generous today."

"Why is Kingy feelin' so gen'rous?" asked one of the goblins.

"Because, as of this morning, I found out from your beautiful Queen that we are to be blessed with a little one, at last. There will still be court held for an hour after this to settle disputes, but after that, it shall be a holiday for all."

Universals cries of joy and "Congrats!" were being shouted everywhere, and already, talk began of the great party and new songs that would be created and sung in honor of this great occasion. Chaos would have broken out, were it not for the loud roars from Jareth as he shouted for order and his coffee.

Normally, he didn't like all of the noise that came from the goblins, but today, it fit his mood well. In fact, he felt like singing at that moment, but decided it best to wait until after court, to give maximum time to see if the coffee would actually affect him. He rather doubted it, but he was willing to try.

After a second cup, he decided that he was still thirsty, so he asked for another cup to be put next to his throne so that he could drink as he listened to his subjects. The hour went quickly, as most of the complaints were about ownership of chickens, so he relied on his best method for determining: flipping a coin. So often, the goblins lived so close to one another that it was hard to tell where the chickens lived, as half the time the chickens just wandered about anyway. Jareth decided to change things up a bit by occasionally just taking the chicken from both, and then kicking them both out of the court (to even louder squeals of delight).

His legs had become quite jittery, for lack of a better word. Skittish, perhaps. Either way, he felt a need to use his legs more, and so he did.

When court was ended for the day, the noise level increased until one goblin asked whether there would still be more kicking. That got everyone quiet as they listened anxiously for Jareth's answer. Thankfully, Jareth was happy to oblige, so a line of the first twenty goblins got to be kicked, with goblins judging based on height and how long they made noises of awe. By the end, Jareth had broken his personal best record of twelve feet three times, pleasing him. The problem was, he still felt as though he had a lot of energy, and had no idea what to do.

After the goblins left to go drink and party, Jareth decided to speak to the cooks. It didn't last long, as he was suddenly feeling rather exasperated with them as they were going too slow for his liking. Impatience got the better of him, so he made it clear to them which foods were to be given to Sarah, to keep her happy. Much chocolate disappeared from Aboveground that day, as the goblins had strict orders to do "whatever was necessary" to get and keep the chocolate for Sarah, and Sarah alone. Bogging was the punishment for anyone who ate chocolate without Jareth controlling it, so there was more reason to obtain it.

Once the food was taken care of, Jareth proceeded onto the task of ordering clothes. New dresses were ordered, with the understanding that she would be measured once a week, to officially record what size dress was needed, and unofficially, to see how big she was getting. After that, Jareth indulged in a new pair of leather gloves and boots. His collection of leather gloves was quite extensive, a different pair for each special occasion. The amount of new gloves created during Sarah's run alone was enough to keep Jareth reordering time for the goblins so that they had enough time to prepare for each meeting he had with Sarah. After that, he thought it a good idea to get Sarah another pair of gloves, and would have had a pair prepared for the new addition, were it not for the fact that he still did not know the gender. That put a slight dent in his plans, as a new wardrobe could not be created yet, but at the very least, he could have boots made, since male and female wore them. Their child would have the most adorable leather booties ever known.

When Jareth was satisfied with the clothiers, he was still thirsty, so he had another cup of coffee. He still did not feel the effects somehow, and since he was in a musical mood, he decided to see if any goblins had moved to the throne room.

Normally, Jareth had to be in a very good mood to want to sing, and an even better one to dance while singing. However, at this moment, he was still so proud of his accomplishments that he felt like dancing in his underwear, an event not universally known, except by Sarah of course. She had that magical effect on him, and occasionally he indulged her whims when she asked him. Sometimes the dance became interactive as he grabbed Sarah by the wrist or waist, but he never saw her complaining when he did that. All the same, he was not going to do that now, but later tonight was a very real possibility. That and carrying her bridal-style, as he enjoyed doing that.

Once Jareth poofed himself into the throne room, he found just the audience he was looking for. The goblins were already in the partying mode, but he had their rapt attention once he began. Everyone loved watching as Jareth did his rendition of "I've got a lovely bunch of crystal balls". The verses changed every time as he sang of what he had and would do with them, but it always started and ended the same.

Several songs after that, Jareth left the throne room to raucous shouts and encores, and now he actually felt tired. Nope, that coffee did not affect him. However, a nap right now was not wise, as there was still more he wanted to do, and it might disturb his sleep schedule. Instead of coffee, he had some of Sarah's chocolate, as he was fond of a candy bar now and then. After having two chocolate bars, he went outside to speak to various other goblins about having lunch and getting ready for when Sarah came back.

After eating and talking, Jareth went to find roses in the gardens, as Sarah loved the smell of roses in their room. He spread half of the petals artfully in their room, and then the other half when he didn't like the job he did the first time and reordered time to fix it. After a few hours doing that, he felt like pacing, as he was now feeling antsy again. That would not do.

Going back to the throne room, Jareth still felt like pacing, which made him feel irritable, but with so much energy, he felt like singing, again! He didn't know what he wanted to sing, but some part of him was feeling the cabin fever, so after going through three different changes of clothing within ten minutes, much to the awe of the already drunk goblins, Jareth settled on wearing a sombrero with an appropriate outfit and lots of glitter. As he danced, he gave the goblins spoons to attempt to keep up with the beat he clapped, deciding against maracas as they might become popular at all parties. That, or they would all get destroyed as the goblins tried to figure out how they made noise. Some goblins attempted to copy Jareth's moves, but going in a circle was difficult for some. Jareth helped by throwing them up in the air, or kicking if they preferred it.

It was as Jareth came to the finale of the song he was dancing to that he got down on his knees as though about to do an air guitar solo when Sarah suddenly appeared in front of him.

"Sarah! You're back at last!"

"And in the nick of time, too! What in bognation are you attempting to do?"

"Naturally," he said smoothly as he got up and kissed her, "I was posing to greet my fair Queen."

"With a sombrero on your head? The last time that happened had been at your bachelor party."

"How did you hear about that? That night was special."

"Sorry, but my dad was so entertained by that image of you that he told me about it right before we got married."

"Is that why you were grinning so much as you walked down the aisle?"

"Partly. That, and, you look amazing in a tuxedo."

"Of course I do," he said, practically preening.

"Well, now you know that, and I am hungry. Shall we eat while we let the goblins celebrate?"

"Sounds like a good idea to me. All this dancing really helps to work up an appetite."

After a long dinner discussing all that had happened that day, Jareth took Sarah to the library to show her the new plans he had made for the nursery, as well as show the new spot he had created for her while she read, so that she could read to their little one as well. The only place with more pillows was their bedroom. Then, he showed her where the nursery would be, and all the work he had set in motion while she was out, and then they went to their bedroom, for the last surprise.

The kiss Sarah and Jareth shared once the door was closed was very pleasurable and repeated multiple times for maximum results. Then, Jareth showed her his new dance, and he joined her on their bed, quite worn out.

"I don't know why, but I suddenly feel as though I could sleep for several days, Precious. Why is this?"

"Well, based on all that you have done today alone, between several hours of singing and dancing, planning for us, court, and arranging all this, I'd say you have done several days of work all in one day. Usually, you take your time, or the goblins slow things down, but not today."

"Oh no, not today. I had no patience today, so they did everything asked of them."

"When did you start feeling impatient, Jareth?"

"Right after taking my first sip of-"

"Sip of what?"

"Coffee. Did I mention that I tried your coffee today? I only had four cups of it."

"Four? No wonder you were dancing so much! I get shaky after having two cups."

"No wonder I felt so jumpy and skittish today. Perhaps it did affect me after all."

"Perhaps? Oh, it definitely did."

It was then that the sound of spoons being played terribly could be heard rising throughout the kingdom in a rather coordinated effort by the goblins. It seemed they were trying to keep it in time with the song they were singing, "Hail to Our Victor, Sarah".

"That's it, Jareth. No more coffee for you, ever."


Author's Notes: This is so silly and fluffy, but what do you expect out of me, honestly? The idea for Hyper!Jareth comes from a plot bunny thrown at me by Kyndsie, and then my mind went places. I figured that if anything would excite Jareth, it would be coffee, since he probably would have tea/nothing Underground. And, he loves Sarah, so if there was ever a time that he would be happy would be either: when he's getting married, winning an argument with Sarah, or involving their kids.

Also, I heard from Kyndsie that she needs a sufficient bribe for her to consider posting a second story in November, so this is Part 1 of my bribe.