A/N: hello dear readers. Here I am with a new story. It was written two years ago, in French. I wanted to translate it for a while but had no time to do it.
That story is very sad, but there will be Jisbon.
I hope you will like it.
When the Shadow crept over Lisbon's life, Jane tried to bring back the light in it. Will he be able to help her through the darkest time of her life?
Lisbon was sitting on a chair. The doctor had left her for a few minutes and was back now. She was still in shock of what she had learned. So it was true, it really was happening and she could not do anything about it. She had always feared for years what every cop feared. From the day they put on the uniform. She was afraid. She knew that one day she would die. She always thought that it would be in the line of duty. This was totally unexpected. She did not know how to digest the news. Worse yet, she did not know how to tell her colleagues or even Jane. The poor man would have much difficulty to recover from her death. He had already lost so much and losing someone again would be very hard for him.
What was the alternative? Hide from it from him or deny the truth? She could not do that to him. She could not hide something this important. So she got up, took her things and thanked her doctor. Exiting the building she got in her car. She sat behind the wheel but did not start it. She dropped her head then closed her eyes. She was still unsure what should she should do? She did not know. This news was new and frightening. Teresa Lisbon always had control over her life. It was a rule that she had imposed on herself as a child. Always be in control was her mantra. Today things were different. Her body had decided to act according to its own will. Why was it happening to her? Why?
A tap on the glass took her out of her dark thoughts. She looked up to see the nurse who had been so kind to her. She rolled down the window with a smile on her lips.
- "Is there a problem?" Lisbon asked.
- "Oh no, but you forgot your phone." The nurse said handing it to her.
- "Oh, thank you." Lisbon said slightly embarrassed.
She rarely left her phone out of her grip. The nurse stood there with a thin smile on her lips. It was one of sympathy. It was another thing Teresa could not stand. It was the look of pity from the people around her. It would be the fake compassion due to her condition. She believed this would be the reaction she would get from those around her when the news was announced. Getting this same reaction would leave Lisbon bereft of the thing she deserved most of all, respect. She had decided. She would not say anything. Maybe a miracle would save her.
If that was not the case, then she would say it. It was not urgent yet. She still felt good. If you looked at her there was nothing showing that she was ill. Though she knew that was the rub.
Lisbon started her car and drove home. The day was far from over. She still had a lot to do. She had to clean her apartment. It was something she always did when she was anxious. She needed to establish control. The only thing she did not want was Jane coming to see her. She was terrified if Jane was near he would suspect something. He would see right away that something was wrong. She knew she could not hide anything from him. She knew full well this confrontation would happen eventually. She wished for it not to happen now, especially after what she had learned was still too raw in her mind.
Once she had arrived back home, she was surprise to still be alive. She drove on autopilot and had not paid much attention to the road. Once parked in front of the building, she quickly exited. Then she rushed to the safety of her apartment. She locked herself inside. Once the door closed, she slid to the floor and tears ran down her cheeks. All morning she had tried to be strong. She could no longer do it. The strong and courageous Teresa Lisbon was left to cry out all her tears.
After her breakdown, she got up then decided to clean herself up. She was a mess. She washed her face and noticed she had a pile of laundry. Grabbing the used wash cloth and towel she took the laundry to the machine. She was lucky she had one in her apt. Otherwise she would need to go to the Laundromat. She definitely would not want to do that. She could not yet be seen. She could breakdown at a moment notice. That she could not abide.
Once the clothes were in the machine she settled down to get to clean the rest of the apt. She got out her vacuum then wondered why was this bag getting clogged? Removing the full bag she placed a fresh one. She wondered how long has it been since she last cleaned. They have been rather busy at the CBI lately. Back to back to back cases had happened. She guessed cleaning one's apt took a back seat against bringing murders to justice. While she cleaned she noticed she had not once thought of the terrible news.
It seems that cleaning was one way not to think about it. She was forgetting what had happened. She noticed the pile of boxes in the corner of the room. That will not do she thought. She picked up the boxes to place in the closet. She passed a shelf in the room and something caught her eye. It was something she had kept well hidden. It was a frame containing a picture she loved with all her heart. She dropped the boxes on the floor and picked it up.
She handed it carefully while gazing at the man's face she so admired. He was the one she claimed was annoying. She had seen the worst of him being conceited, arrogant and selfish. True he was all that though, he was still the one that made her heart sing. It was a picture of Jane and her which caused all these swirling emotions. It had been taken a few months earlier during a group night out.
She took the picture out of the frame then searched for something. She quickly found it in another box. It was her old diary that she had kept since she was a child. She slipped the photo inside. There was a blank page so she began to write what she had in her heart. The words that flowed contained her fears, her joys and her love for Jane. He might never read these words.
However, she wanted to write them down so that one day someone would read them. Then they would know how much she loved him. She wanted these words to be remembered long after she was gone. It would before the disease would have won. She wanted to be remembered as a thinking person full of hopes and dreams. Not thought of someone who was in the throws of a terrible disease. She knew once you are sick people fail to see the person only the disease.
Lisbon took the book to her bedroom then secreted it in a place where she knew no one would find it easily. It would be a place where not even Jane with his marvelous powers of observation would find it. If he ever searched her home one day something Lisbon doubted he would ever do. Placing the picture in the diary she remembered the boxes still sitting in the front room. Plus the freshly washed clothing needed to be placed in the drier. She decided to wait on both since it was now night time. The day had gone so quickly. That she never noticed. She decided to go to bed. A good night's sleep would do her good. It would allow her to forget about her grief and fear. It would also allow her to forge the mask she would wear for the coming months. This mask she would use to protect everyone, especially Jane. He should never ever discover the truth.
Lisbon sat on her bed. Tears sprang to her cheeks once again when she had thought of her situation and Jane. She vowed she would never tell him. She hoped that he would never learn of her condition either. Though with Jane, that could be a futile hope. It would be like hoping the sun never set. Jane would find out but not from her and not yet.
A/N2: okay so, tell me, did you like it? I know you must be confuse right now but you will understand with the next chapter. That is, if you want me to continue. I will update as often as I can, but I'll be faster if I know that people really like it.