ADVENTURES IN BABYSITTING A-XROS TIME AND SPACE.


File 1. Nyarko Amano-Aonouma


"Oh! Rei! Could I talk with you for a moment?"

The Evangelion Pilot who had recently become a Royal Knight under the service of King Shoutmon turned around on her heels at the calling of her name.

The Denizen Echidna and her Host Nene Amano-Aonouma, was walking down the hallway towards her, smiling politely, yet somewhat urgently.

"Hi, Rei," Nene said.

"Yo," Rei Ayanami gave a quick nod of her head in greeting, "what's up?"

"Okay right so..." Nene quickly explained the situation: "Since your Earth got brought in, you know how Kiriha and I have had to meet with all the surviving world leaders and all that Jazz?"

"Right," Rei nodded. "What about it?"

"Well, I usually have Kotone baby sit Nyarko whenever she has to do something like this, but tonight she just got called in to join one of these meetings too," Nene said with a smile, "So I was wondering if you could take her place tonight keeping an eye on Nyarko?"

"I dunno, Nene..." Rei scratched at her nose. "I'm a great Eva Pilot, sort of an okay Knight so far, but a baby sitter...?"

"Please, Rei...!" Nene clapped her hands together and bowed sharply, "Shoutmon says he doesn't know anyone else who'd be better for the job!"

Drat. Rei grumbled. Of course the King would recommend her.

"Alright, I'll do it." What else could she say?

LATER THAT NIGHT_ _ _|

Nyarko was a cute girl at age Five, having been born about eight months after Rei had visited "Earth-2" through sheer luck and inter-dimensional shenanigans.

Silver hair, Emerald Green eyes- Rei could see this girl causing a lot of trouble when she was older. But then again, she was already causing trouble, and had been since she'd been born.

Rei suddenly came to an understanding as to why Shoutmon had told Nene to come ask her to baby sit...and why Kotone had been Nyarko's go-to baby sitter in the past.

"Alright, kid," Rei said calmly, "give me back my sword, please."

Nyarko was a living inventory system- one look and a blink- POOF- and something would be gone.

Such as happened to Rei's sword, which she had drawn out to polish while Nyarko had been distracted by the TV...or so Rei had thought.

The first commercial break that had occurred, and the sword had literally vanished out of Rei's hands in the blink of an eye. Literally, in this case. Nyarko had giggled and clapped like she'd just done something impressive, which lead Rei to identifying her as the culprit.

"Nuh uh!" Nyarko shook her head. "My Shiny!"

"..." Rei frowned. "And here I thought the Terrible Twos only lasted until you hit three."

It was to be expected of a child who was the spawn of the Denizens- beings with powers so wide and varried that they were very often mistaken for Living Gods!

Rei, having faced off against such beings in the past, notably and primarily the Angels of her world and the Horror Terrors of that one Dimension she had visited once, decided that Nyarko here could not possibly be at their power levels just yet...

Although that temper, on the other hand...

"Please?" Rei asked, "It's my shiny precious sword! They gave it to me for joining his personal guard!"

"No!" Nyarko shook her head, giggling, "It's My Shiny now!"

Rei's eye twitched, and somewhere, deep down in the part of her consciousness cloned from then Angel Lilith, Rei suppressed the constant stream of thought about babies to offhandedly wonder if the Universe hadn't given this girl the same name as that Nyarlhotep Rei had met once out of spite.

"Okay...Nyarko-chan?" Rei began, "What could I give you that you'd want more than my shiny sword?"

"Uhhhh..." The girl's green eyes screwed in towards each other, focusing in cross-eyed on her nose as she thought of something. Rei blinked at the motion, and wondered if there wasn't a hidden, second personality inside this kid that was causing all of this. "CHOCOLATE!"

"Chocolate." Rei repeated, and then sighed. Just what the kid needed this late at night. "Of course." She stood up, and went to search the candy bin. "I'll get you your chocolate if you promise to return my sword and never take it again, kapiche?"

"'Kaay!" Nyarko agreed, then blinked, and then Rei's sword re-appeared on the table with a clatter. "Chocolate now!"

"Alright alright, I'm getting it...!"

Rei cast a glance back at Nyarko. Yup. This kid was definitely going to be a problem in the years to follow.

ELEVEN YEARS LATER_ _ _|

"Please!" Nyarko's green eyes batted at the boy before her.

"No," Mahiro rebuked the 16 year old.

"PLEASE MAHIRO-SAAAN!" Nyarko pleaded. "Can't we go take the DeLorean for a test drive?"

"My dad says we shouldn't mess with time travel," Jules remarked as they walked down the road from the Hinomoto residence. "Quartzmon might get us."

"C'MON!" Nyarko lamented. "Quartzmon's just the boogey-mon! You know they only made him up to scare kids into behaving!"

"But he's not," Kuuko, who had been silent the entire time, spoke up quietly. "I saw him once..."

"When you were five!" Nyarko waved it off. "But come on! That was so totally Uncle Ren in a tacky costume!"

"This coming from the girl who believes that she's the reincarnation of of an Eldritch Deity," Mahiro remarked. "Look, Nyarko, I'm all for having an adventure like our parents did, but we can't go stealing a DeLorean for a Joy Ride. Who knows what kind of havoc we'd cause."

"They wouldn't even know we were gone, Ma-hi-ro-saaaan!" Nyarko protested. "I just captchalog it, we go have our fun, come back early, and I put it back at the same moment we borrowed it!"

"...Maybe..." Kuuko thought it over. "Maybe we could just look at it, and just sort of...Keep our distance from it?"

"YEAH!" Nyarko cheered.

"As long as it's out of Nyarko's captchaloging distance," Jules said, "I suppose that'd be alright."

"THREE FOR FOUR!" Nyarko yelped. "MAJORITY RULES!"

Mahiro sighed, "Fine. I'll come too. Someone's gotta make sure you stay out of range, after all."


When asked after the DeLorean Incident, Rei Ayanami was interviewed by a NERV investigator.

So, Rei, you've been babysitter for pretty much every kid of the Xros Heart team. What can you tell me about Nyarko?

"I baby sat her for years, off and on. Less so since she was the oldest of the lot, but..." Rei would comment, "I never could get a solid grasp on her like I did the other kids. Then again, almost everyone else didn't have the lineage of The Father and the Mother of all Monsters. You'd think that'd maybe give us something to relate to, given that Lilith was the Mother of all life on this Earth and I was cloned from her... But nope. Nyarko was about as uncontrollable as the kids got. She went ahead and did what she wanted regardless of what others told her...Unless you made a deal out of it."

How so?

"The first time I baby sat her, Nyarko stole my sword. I had to make a deal so that way she wouldn't steal it again. I got her chocolate once, and she'd never touch the thing again. And I've NEVER seen her even so much as look at that sword since."

Could something like that have adverted the DeLorean incident?

"Nah. No way. Nyarko would've twisted the deal in her favor. It's all about equivalent exchange for her. If she's not happy with the deal, she won't accept it. I don't got a clue how anyone could have gotten Nyarko to not go after that DeLorean though. It was just too shiny, I think. That's one thing that's always been constant with her. If something shiny gets her attention, she's going to get her hands on it somehow, even if she has to make a deal later so that she never touches it again. It's the thrill of the hunt, in a way. I had to be careful whenever I looked after her, or had her around with the other kids. She just wanted too much impulsively, and caused too much trouble."

What are your thoughts on the DeLorean Incident?

"I really hope they're all okay. An explosion like that from a time machine...? Plus the unfortunate placement of that exit road going down the same street that Go-Kun and I came through years ago... Two rifts on the same spot? Somehow I don't think that's a coincidence."

Were you there when it happened?

"Nah, I was off world on Aincrad, at Strider's request. He wanted me to help with the Team selections that would be happening in three weeks. I'm pretty sure that's not going to happen now, though. 'Specially with that new project my brother's got running."

Speaking of that, would you think Nyarko would fit in on that team, had she a chance to join?

"Hah! Nyarko? Did you see what she went as for Halloween the last six years in a row? Toku-shows are one of her favorite things ever. When she finds out she bailed out just before a real-life Super Sentai plot started in her own back yard? I'll bet you ten thousand dollars that she'll blow a gasket and demand that Kaiyumi makes her like...The "Kamen Ranger" or something! She's always had the stronger thirst for adventure among the older kids."

Do you think that 'thirst for adventure' might have caused all of this?

"With all of Xros Heart's kids...Definitely. They've heard all of these stories from just about everyone about how they ran across time and space hunting down Quartzmon. I've baby sat just about all of them at some point in their lives, and I've gotta say that I don't thing growing up in that kind of environment leaves anything but a huge shadow. Honestly, I'm surprised as many of them came out as well mannered as they did, considering all of that, and all the bad influence *I* probably put in front of them just by watching them as often as I did."

I'm sure you didn't do that bad of a job.

"When we get to Merry, I'm pretty sure you're going to have a different opinion of me."

END FILE.