Next chapter of Hana Ga Ochiru is being worked on but I had sudden...inspiration for this and I just had to write it sorry.
Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot of this, and god I wish I didn't own that.
Pale pink lips were stretched and pulled into a fake smile as she watched the people around her, they all looked so happy, so content with what was going on while her stomach clenched and unclenched and she fought the urge to vomit. Despite herself, her eyes were drawn to an average height male with ink colored hair and eyes his pale arm was draped around a red headed girls shoulders as she laughed happily. God help her this was killing her, the sight of him with anyone was hard to swallow, she loved him, and she had always loved him. Her hands trembled as she fought the emptiness spreading in her chest, it was breaking, her heart was still breaking. How was that even possible? Hadn't it shattered that day?
Closing her bright green eyes she felt the memory come back vividly. She'd been staring down at her phone, she and Sasuke had just gotten done arguing and she had stalked into work trying not to shake from a mixture of cold and emotional distress, she wanted to cry, oh god had she wanted to cry. It'd been a stupid fight she'd asked him an unfair question, why should she care who he preferred to have sex with he'd already told her he didn't love her anymore, and maybe never did. But she had demanded the answer from him, the taste of Ami's name bitter on her lips and the images of their bodies sliding on each other nearly making her vomit. And he'd answered, he tried to explain that answer, tried to whisper that it was the wrong question and maybe it was but she'd wanted to know, and had acted like a brat when he told her Ami.
And she'd acted worse when in a text, she hadn't been mocking him though he'd taken it that way. Everything had fallen away for her when he told her not to act like she cared though. Maybe she had made it worse, made it past fixing when she told him she didn't love him, maybe never had. But it was a lie, why couldn't he know it was a lie?
Opening her eyes again she caught Karin's worried stare and let a small sincere smile spread across her lips. Karin was her friend, a good and close friend. That was of course why it hurt so badly all she wanted was for Sasuke and Karin both to be happy, her love and one of her best friend. They were happy together so why was she feeling so broken, like everything was missing all the color was draining away, and yet he never even looked at her.
They looked beautiful together, she had to admit. Karin's naturally bright red hair and matching red eyes, were a beautiful contrast to Sasuke's ink colored hair and eyes. Yes they were beautiful, they complimented each other from Sasuke's flawless skin to Karin's mutilated, her loud amusingly brash personality to his stoic and calm nature. Where was her place in this friendship? Shaking her head she felt and saw her roseate locks moving with the movement as she choked down another horrible pang in her chest. She'd apologized the next morning, after stupid antics and an attempt to drown her pain in rum, but the damage had been done.
It wouldn't matter, even if he hated her now and forever she would love him. It took only a night to really be sure that men had been ruined for her after him, a kiss that felt like nothing, like air it inspired nothing in her body nor her soul. Turning her back on the group she felt a tear slide down her face as she slipped away unnoticed.
Those texts were torture for her to send, and torture for her to live through while he never seemed to care.
You know what you're right.
I don't love you.
You've always said that I didn't or that I wasn't capable of it so there take...comfort in that. I'll be your friend if you still want for that but I don't love you. Maybe I never did you surely don't believe it.