Dark Recess of the Soul
A/N: Welcome, people call me Dust. Which people, you ask? No idea, you I guess. I've decided I would start writing fanfics because they are simply amazing and I wanted to contribute something. Also, I am passionately in love with the all characters from RWBY, as well as the universe and story and writing and everything, there so exciting and romantic, you know? XD Finally, I find that there's a clear lack of JauneXPyrrha, and I felt the need to remedy that. (We seriously need to figure out a cute nickname for this ship, and I'm coming up empty, so any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.) This is rated M because there will be plenty of dark themes, and lemons later as well as all that that entails. Not your cup of tea? Well then just don't read it.
These events occur after episode 12, I do realize that up episode 14 is out now by now, and those will influence my later chapters, but I have this idea and it's just too good not to pursue, even if the events in the actual series differ greatly from what I'm writing right now. Actually, at the time of writing, I've written a lot more than this first chapter, but I'm not yet satisfied with what I've written next, and also want some reviews/opinions before continuing. Any italic text means they are thoughts that are not uttered out loud, so keep track. :P So, after this A/N that is obviously much too long, let's dive right in, enjoy.
Disclaimer: All things RWBY belong to Monty Oum and Roosterteeth. I own nothing.
"Pyrrha, I know I'm going through a rough time right now, but I'm not THAT depressed. I can always be a farmer or something," said the boy with the scraggly blond hair as he stood on the edge of the rooftop where his partner had brought him. Well, I don't want her to know that at least, I can't start showing weakness now, not to the strongest girl in school, he thought. His teammate quickly pulled him back away from the edge, a look of wild panic crossing her face. "NO! That's not why I brought you up here," exclaimed the fiery-headed girl, "Jaune, I know you're having a tough time in class, and that you're still not the strongest of fighters. So, I want to help you! We can train up here after class, where no one can bother us," hinted the female student, hoping he would realize she wanted to be alone with him.
Jaune however was far to focus on his dark thoughts, his expression turning even darker at those words, "you think I need help?" It pained the woman Spartan to see her partner in such disarray, wishing she could have the words to soothe him, just like he did for her, "no, no, that's not what I meant," she stammered. "But you just said it," he replied, his despair growing with every passing moment. It's not her fault, he thought, she would be so much better off without my eternal weakness bringing her down. I was such a fool to come here; I'll never be a hero, he proceeded mentally, his dark thoughts showing on his face.
Meanwhile, the javelin wielder was having a very different set of thoughts. Why can't he see all the potential that he has? If he would just open up to me a little he could become stronger than I could ever be. His aura is so incredible, his compassion is unparalleled, and his smile and sense of humor are so contagious. I would follow him to the ends of the earth if he let me, and I know others would too, he has so much more leadership and charisma then he gives himself credit for. It also doesn't hurt when his straw-colored locks flow in the wind and his muscle pulsate under the effort of… She cuts herself off as she realizes her cheeks starting to turn crimson. Jaune seems to notice but dismisses it as being from the frustration he must be making her feel at the moment.
The emerald eyed girl decided she needed to try one more thing, "Jaune, everyone needs a little push from time to time, it doesn't make you any different from the rest of us. You made it to Beacon, that speaks volumes of what you're capable of." The sword wielder's eyes lost all color in that instant. There it was, his dark secret, that which pressed so heavily down on his shoulders. "You're wrong, I don't belong here," he responded. "That's a terrible thing to say, of course you do" she said, her worry increasing has her hope decreased.
"No, I don't. *Sigh* I wasn't really accepted into Beacon. I didn't go to combat school, I didn't pass any tests. I lied," he said, shutting her down. His answer shocked the Spartan, robbing her of all her strength. Unable to utter anything else, she simply asked, "what? But why?"
Jaune could feel tears forming in his blue eyes, the emotions getting stuck in his throat making it difficult to speak, "cause this is what I've always wanted to be. My father, my grandfather and his father before him were all warriors; they were all heroes. I was just never good enough." With every new word, his partner grew sadder, "then let me help you," she attempted weekly, knowing it was futile. Desperation now seeping into the knights voice, he continues, needing to be understood, validated by someone. It was all he had, this sole concept to keep him going, filling the void that was his soul, and he clung to it with all his might. "I don't want help, I don't want to be the damsel in distress; I want to be the hero! I'm tired of being the lovable idiot stuck in a tree while his friends fight for their lives. Don't you understand? If I can't do this on my own, then what good am I?"
Pyrrha did understand, however. The unbearable weight he carried on his shoulders, the burden of expectation that he would never manage to shake, his only recourse being to follow this path. She understood his destination only too well, having followed a similar trail to become who she was. She wished with all her heart that she could spare him the things he would find at the end of the road, things that could only bring sorrow and misery, but he had to discover them, it was the way of the world. Otherwise, his fixations would consume him.
She was also starting to cry, her beautiful emerald eyes turning red from the tears. She couldn't care less how Jaune got into Beacon; she wanted him to stay, more than anything else in the entire world. The pain and anguish in both their eyes a reflection of the other's despite being for different reasons. The look on his teammate's face just served to further his self-loathing.
Way to go Arc, you did it again; you screwed up, he thought. You have the most amazing partner in the world, the most beautiful and amazing woman you've ever met, and you keep pushing her away. First you ignore her to chase that cold witch, who wasn't even as good looking or anything, and then you proceed to be entirely useless on the battlefield, and finally now, you make her cry. Green meets blue for a second, before quickly darting away, "very well, if that's what you want," she says as she turns around before she can fully burst into tears, and begins to run back to her room.
And there it was, the final straw, he was sure of it. He had pushed her away for good, and she would never forgive him. He wished he could take it all back, that he could stop her, but it was too late. Was there anything he wouldn't eventually fuck up?
More depressed then ever, he sat down on the edge where this whole ordeal began. Maybe his initial idea really was best. What future did he hope to have? Without Pyrrha, he was completely useless. He was a failure, and would continue to be as such, he was sure of it. Being made leader of team JNPR was just insult to injury, his comrades deserved better. Things would only become harder from here on out, and they needed a strong leader to help them through it, not a boy pretending to be a man, who could only sulk at his own weakness.
Jaune was tired, so very tired. He wanted the world to stop spinning. All it would take was a simple step, a count to three, and it would all be over. He was convinced it was for the best. No one would truly miss him, not for long anyway.
All the while, there were two figures nearby, hidden in the shadows. One was on the balcony right below him. The other stood on a nearby spire, watching the decrepit blond like a hawk. They had kept their presence hidden, waiting for the right time to make their appearances, though both of their motives differed greatly, like both sides of Jaune's conscience, the angel and the devil. The demon decided it was his time to strike. The angel could only hope Jaune was ready, incapable of intervening. This was the sky-eyed boy's last chance however, and his interference would sign his death certificate. It was a lose-lose situation either way. The angel could only hope that Jaune would find the strength within himself to defeat his opponent. Otherwise, it would all be over for him…
A/N: Okay, so anyone who's seen episode 12 knows whom the quote-on-quote "demon" is, but can you guess whom is the other figure watching over Jaune? He's not an OC, he's just quiet in the show, and I molded him to fit my purpose. It was kindoff a last minute idea, so bare with me, it's gonna work out I promise. I'm done recounting past events now, next chapter will be totally original story; I just needed to establish a few things first. Once I stop being so busy/lazy I'll perfect it and post it, but the better you guys make me feel about this the more I'll work on it. (Yes, I'm "like whoring", but only because I can use the extra motivation. I'm not that petty, I still want to wright it, it's just very time consuming.)