An FF8 Lemon. (BUT NOT REALLY)

So there I was. My eyes were focused on him. Only him. I knew he was going to reach over to kiss me. He thought he could break my shell. They all did. It didn't matter I liked being alone. That I like-

CENSOR: You can't put that!

Lindsay: What?! Why?!

Censor: It'll teach eight year olds to be anti social! It will be the downfall of America! You should be ASHAMED!!!

Lindsay: ...Who are you? o.O;

Censor: I AM THE FF NET CENSOR! Taking out all things that we might get sued for even though it would never happen!

Lindsay: ..... um. Okay. I'll just..start again then.

Where was I..

They all did. It didn't matter that I liked..um..

Censor: Oh. Did I tell you about the public service announcements?
Lindsay: WHAT?! Censor: Yes. You see, you must include an inspirational message in your stories. And tell children that health-eating habits are groovy.

It didn't matter that I liked..um..um..BRUSHING MY TEETH! BECAUSE BRUSHING OUR TEETH IS RADICAL!!

Lindsay: -_-;
Censor: See. Isn't that wonderful? Start again.



So there I was. My eyes were focused on him. Only him. I knew he was going to reach over to kiss me. He thought he could break my shell. They all did. It didn't matter I liked being alone. It didn't matter that I liked..um..um..BRUSHING MY TEETH! BECAUSE BRUSHING OUR TEETH IS RADICAL!!

Censor: WAIT WAIT!!! I JUST NOTICED SQUALL IS THE MAIN CHARACTER OF THIS STORY, RIGHT?!?!?!?!?!

Lindsay: um..yes. Yes he is.

Censor: YOU DISGUSTING PERSON!! GAY MEN ARE BAD!! BAD!! BAD!!!! BAD!!! TAKE THAT OUT AND REMARK ON HOW GAYS ARE SINNERS!

Lindsay: I'm not going to go against all my moral and rights...*twenty minutes later* SO NO! I'M NOT GOING TO EXCLUDE GAY MEN FROM MY STORY!

Censor: You'll be BANNED if you don't.

Lindsay: ......


So there I was. My eyes were focused on her. Only her. And of course it was a she because gays are bad. Bad! Sinners they are! It's not cool to be gay! You'll be unpopular if you're gay! I knew she was going to reach over to kiss me. She thought she could break my shell. They all did. It didn't matter I liked being alone. It didn't matter that I liked..um..um..BRUSHING MY TEETH! BECAUSE BRUSHING OUR TEETH IS RADICAL!! And I would also like to add that gay people are bad, incase you forgot. And your mommy and daddy will send you off to Libya if you're gay because it's so wrong. And..bless the bible! Jesus will come!

Censor: NO THAT DOESN'T WORK EITHER!

Lindsay: What NOW?!! I ADDED YOUR..'JESUS' and your 'BIBLE'!

Censor: FF.Net could be sued! Think about other religions!

Lindsay: Right.


So there I was. My eyes were focused on her. Only her. I knew she was going to reach over to kiss me. She thought she could break my shell. They all did. It didn't matter I liked being alone. It didn't matter that I liked..um..um..BRUSHING MY TEETH! BECAUSE BRUSHING OUR TEETH IS RADICAL!! And I would also like to add that gay people are bad. And..bless the bible! Jesus will come! And praise Buddha! And respect Mary. And Ali! And we can't forget about the great forest spirit!

She reached over and gripped my hand. I shook her hand off of mine. Of course, this wasn't because she wasn't attractive, because she is very attractive, as she is a woman, and not a man, because I would be in Libya WORKING IN A SWEATSHOP if I were gay.

"Um. I have to go." I said, and then started to stand.

"Why do you have to go? We just got here." She said. And of course, it was a she. And if I say 'he' at any time while I'm referring to her, it is because of a typo. A SINFUL TYPO!

I shrugged. "I don't like being around crowds."

"Well, we can always go back to my dorm, and talk there."

"As long as I can brush my teeth there. I have to keep up my coolness."

So after an awkward drive, we go to Garden again, barely missing curfew. She tried to make conversation, but stopped when she saw I wasn't really responding. I don't know why I'm like this. I don't understand why I can't just talk to people. I always seem so stand offish and rude.

When we got to her room, she just slammed the door behind her shut. Then before I knew what was happening, she was leaning into kiss me. She forced me against the door. Well, okay. Whatever works. She reached for my jacket, and pulled it off my shoulders, and then took my shirt over my head.

We eventually started to move over to her bed-

Censor: THIS STORY IS COMPLETLEY UNACCEPTABLE! WHAT KIND OF SICK MINDED PERVERT ARE YOU?! YOU, DISPLAYING TEENAGERS AS LUSTFUL BEINGS WHO WANT TO HAVE SEX! SHAME!!

Lindsay: ...But a lot of teenagers are lustful beings who want to have sex.

Censor: NOT ON THIS WEBSITE! WE'VE LET YOU FREE MINDED LIBERALS GET AWAY WITH SOOOO MUCH. IT ENDS NOW!!

Lindsay: *cower*


Censor: WE'RE TIRED OF ALL THIS FILTH! FILTHY FILTH!!! WHAT EVER HAPPENED TO MORALS?! AND DECENCY?! IF THERE WEREN'T SEX AND HOMOSEXUALS, 9/11 WOULD HAVE NEVER HAPPENED! GOD BLESS AMERICA! LET'S SING THE NATIONAL ANTHEM!

Lindsay: *sweatdrop* I guess now you're telling me I'm going to have to put some American flags in this story, or something?

Censor: Yep.

Lindsay: I won't even bother to fight. -_-;
/b



We eventually started to move over to her bed, WHICH WAS COVERED WITH PATRIOTIC SHEETS!

Then I grabbed her arm, and she started to sing "The Star Spangled Banner" while I played the tune on my flute. Then my dog, which looked exactly like that one from "The Little Rascals" appeared holding a giant American flag in his teeth! Then, a bunch of fire works appeared behind us. LIT BY ADULTS..WHO HAD ADULT SUPERVISION AND A BUCKET OF WATER NEXT TO THEM!

Lindsay: I would try to complete this story, but God knows how it would end up. -_-
Censor: That's right! Now end it with an inspirational message!


So there I was. My eyes were focused on her. Only her. I knew she was going to reach over to kiss me. She thought she could break my shell. They all did. It didn't matter I liked being alone. It didn't matter that I liked..um..um..BRUSHING MY TEETH! BECAUSE BRUSHING OUR TEETH IS RADICAL!! And I would also like to add that gay people are bad. And..bless the bible! Jesus will come! And praise Buddha! And respect Mary. And Ali! And we can't forget about the great forest spirit!

She reached over and gripped my hand. I shook her hand off of mine. Of course, this wasn't because she wasn't attractive, because she is very attractive, as she is a woman, and not a man, because I would be in Libya WORKING IN A SWEATSHOP if I were gay.

"Um. I have to go." I said, and then started to stand.

"Why do you have to go? We just got here." She said. And of course, it was a she. And if I say 'he' at any time while I'm referring to her, it is because of a typo. A SINFUL TYPO!

I shrugged. "I don't like being around crowds."

"Well, we can always go back to my dorm, and talk there."

"As long as I can brush my teeth there. I have to keep up my coolness."

So after an awkward drive, we go to Garden again, barely missing curfew. She tried to make conversation, but stopped when she saw I wasn't really responding. I don't know why I'm like this. I don't understand why I can't just talk to people. I always seem so stand offish and rude.

When we got to her room, she just slammed the door behind her shut. Then before I knew what was happening, she was leaning into kiss me. She forced me against the door. Well, okay. Whatever works. She reached for my jacket, and pulled it off my shoulders, and then took my shirt over my head.

We eventually started to move over to her bed, WHICH WAS COVERED WITH PATRIOTIC SHEETS!

Then I grabbed her arm, and she started to sing "The Star Spangled Banner" while I played the tune on my flute. Then my dog, which looked exactly like that one from "The Little Rascals" appeared holding a giant American flag in his teeth! Then, a bunch of fire works appeared behind us. LIT BY ADULTS..WHO HAD ADULT SUPERVISION AND A BUCKET OF WATER NEXT TO THEM!

Then finally, Nsync came, and started dancing with them! And everyone loved the dancing! BECAUSE DANCING IS FUN AND GOOD FOR YOU TOO!

Then I wasn't a freak anymore and everyone loved me! And I signed onto AOL AND GOT 50000 FREE MINUTES! CALL YOUR LOCAL AOL OPERATOR TO SIGN UP TODAY!


THE END!!

Phst: Eat your broccoli. And remember kids, a healthy tan looks great on everyone, BUT NOT ON YOU! SO STAY OUT OF THE SUN OR YOU WILL DIE FROM SKIN CANCER! AND REMEBER! BE COOL! STAY IN SCHOOL!

Finally, for an inspirational message, I would like to say, "For those with wings, fly to your dreams."

It's too bad you don't have wings. How will you ever reach your dreams? I feel so bad for you. BUT ATLEAST YOU'RE NOT GAY!


"Yes Squall, I see that. Have you been eating the Garden's Garden Salad?"