If I Could Kill Jounouchi...

by WSJ

Summery: Anzu, Isis and Mai are off to an all-girls college. Seto, Malik and Joey are quite upset about being left behind, and so Joey comes up with a "wonderful" plan: follow them. Right. All goes well until two new exchange students arrive, the first male students (at least known male students) to attend St Gabriel's School for Girls. Yugi Moto and Ryou Bakura.

Warnings: Anzu/Malik, Seto/Isis, Jou/Mai, Shizuka/Otogi (later on), cross-dressing, and a lot of female and sexual humor. And Ishtar. Er... Let's just say that if he ever watched Ranma 1/2 his favorite character would probably be Happosai...

Disclaimer: I don't own YGO. For that matter, I don't own St Gabriel's either, it comes from another of my favorite animes. ^_^ If you know the anime I'm talking about then you'll probably recognise a couple of the other students.

This isn't part of the Tales of the Child of Fate, so it doesn't interfere with Yamis of Tokyo U. Therefore, no mortal Bakura or psychic Ryou. ^_~ Sorry! But those who do read the Tales, especially the stories from Yamis of Tokyo U on, will probably recognise one or two people who will be showing up in later chapters.

Let's see... What else... Oh yeah, I've revamped it, for those who've read this before. ^~ Expect a few changes.

()()()()()

"WHAAAT!?!?!"

Jounochi Katsuya, 18, shrunk back from the two people staring at him. 'Great. A homocidal maniac and a sadist. Why me?' "W-well ya' obviously know that the girls are going to that fancy college in England, and I miss Mai! I can't stand not seeing her! I fig'ured you two would understand me tranferin' over there, being that your own girlfriends are there too."

Seto Kaiba gave him a dumbfounded look. "Inu, I knew you were a little cracked, but this proves it! You're completely insane!"

Jou looked indignant, and opened his mouth to protest, when from beside the CEO Malik Ishtar desided to speak up. "What are you thinking Jou!?!"

Jou frowned. "Too late, I'm already enrolled. I don't want to lose Mai while I'm half-way around the world at Tokyo U."

Malik and Kaiba exchanged knowing looks. "Jou," Malik said slowly, as if talking to a child. "Mai, Anzu, and Isis are going to an all girls college. I.e., you can't enroll and I doubt you'd lose Mai unless she suddenly desides to turn gay."

Jou looked baffled for a moment, then grinned. "Oh, I know that. I enrolled under an alias."

Kaiba blinked. "You're going to maskerade as a girl just to be near Mai?"

"Yup. I'm borrowing most of Shizuka's wardrobe, but she already told me she doesn't mind. In fact, she loves the idea."

Malik couldn't hold back a snicker. "I'm sure she does. But what's Mai going to do when she finds out?"

Jou's face fell. "That's the only thing. She can't."

Kaiba and Malik gave him disbelieving looks. "Let me get this straight," Kaiba said. "You're going to dress up in your sister's clothes, go to England, and pretend to be a girl just so you can be near your girlfriend?"

Jou nodded. "I wouldn't be able to stand it if Mai and I could only see each other every two or three months on holidays. This way, we'll see each other every day, even if she doesn't know it's me."

The other two were silent for a moment. "You know," Kaiba said thoughtfully. "Isis was really, really messed up when we said good-bye last month. She was crying. And although this idea is as stupid as most of inu's other ideas," He ignored the looks of utter astonishment the two blonds were giving him. "It'd be great to see her all the time. And I'm sure I can buy some women's clothes without too much trouble." He held up his Master Card. "A lot of money covers up a lot of things."

Malik stared at both of them as if they had suddenly sprouted yamis (Plug plug. ^_~), and then sighed and dropped his shoulders in defeat. "I'll come too... For reasons all his own, Ishtar likes the idea. And I hate to be away from Anzu for so long..."

Jou let out a cheer. "All right!!! I'd hate to be the only cross-dressin' guy there! Now all we have to do is tell Yugi, Ryou and Honda we're transfering without specifying where we're transfering to."

Malik and Kaiba looked at each other and heaved long-suffering sighs. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all...