A/N: First I wrote twisted humor, now I've decided to try twisted angst. In this story, Inuyasha and Kikyo never betrayed each other compliments of Naraku's evil intervention. Instead they used the Shikon no Tama. This is my take on what could have happened and it's no happy ending. So just sit back and I hope you enjoy this rather strange and darkly psychological tale.

Standard Disclaimers Apply

The Darkness Within A Broken Soul

"Kikyo!" Inuyasha called out as he sprinted through the forest.

"Kikyo!" he called again. "Hurry."

The sun had set hours ago and nothing remained of its afterglow. The only light they had to depend on was that of the full moon. It had risen with the sunset and now its soft rays filtered through the tree branches above, illuminating Inuyasha's glossy black hair.

"Damn!" Inuyasha thought as he skidded to a stop. "There's still no sign of that cursed demon." Lost in such thoughts, he stood in the clearing, waiting with characteristic impatience for the woman to catch up. Even with his inferior human hearing, he could hear her crashing through the brush behind him, heedless of the racket.

"Hurry!" He made his thoughts known to her. "It'll get away."

It wasn't long before Kikyo joined him. Glimpsing her pale form in the moonlight, Inuyasha had to admit she was an impressive sight. After running through the brush for several hours, she had managed to stay cool and unruffled. Miraculously even the folds of her clothing seemed undisheveled and the deadly bow and arrows remained strapped to her back. Her entire being seemed to radiate grace and an awesome mysterious power. She stood before Inuyasha, a sight he found to be both beautiful and provocative.

"Inuyasha." She spoke his name as she came to stand beside him.

Now that she had caught up, Inuyasha was prepared to continue running, but Kikyo put a hand on his arm, stopping him.

"You're hurt." She added. Using the corner of her sleeve, she gently wiped the blood and dirt from his cheek. Her eyes, gazing at his, were filled with love and concern.

Inuyasha irritably scrubbed the bloody smudges from his other cheek. He looked a wreck. His clothing was ripped and torn and the frail skin underneath it had been lacerated where thorny bushes and demon claws had grazed him. He had been desperately hoping that she wouldn't notice but the moon's bright light had betrayed him. Worrying about him would only distract her and they had bigger problems at the moment than a few cuts and bruises. A slight distraction would not only be disastrous, it could cost both of them their lives.

"I'm fine." Although his tone was abrupt, Inuyasha was touched be her compassion. The skin of his cheek reddened slightly under her fingers in a blush. "They're just scratches." He added in a softer tone. Reaching out he gently removed her hand from his face.

Inuyasha was saddened by the necessity of the action. Holding Kikyo's hand in his own, he felt that she was disappointed as well. But both clearly understood that this was neither the time nor the place for such things. Under other circumstances, Inuyasha would've enjoyed Kikyo's attention but they had yet to destroy that damnable trouble-making demon. There would be plenty of time for affection later. Inuyasha silently vowed to both himself and Kikyo that, despite the odds, there would be a later.

Without wasting anymore time, the two continued their pursuit together, making speed their primary objective. Hopefully if they were quick, they could catch it before it eluded them.

"That's not likely." Inuyasha reflected bitterly. Indeed the path the demon left was disturbingly obvious and even as a human he had no trouble tracking it. Broken tree branches littered the ground and once they stumbled across the mangled corpse of a weaker youkai that had the misfortune to cross the vicious stronger creature. Turning away from the gruesome sight, Inuyasha hoped against despair that Kikyo's spiritual power and his own natural fighting abilities would be enough to destroy it.

The wind lifted causing the leaves to rustle and the tree branches creaked ominously overhead. Brushing the windblown strands of hair from his face, Inuyasha sighed. Although stronger and much more agile than the average human, he was certainly no match for a youkai of such power. Looking at the face of the woman beside him, his heart filled with love. The purity of the emotion was tainted, however, by a strange sense of regret. Their love had required a sacrifice. She had given up the Shikon no Tama while he had forsaken his demon heritage. Both had been given freely but now in this time of danger did Inuyasha wonder if he had made the right choice…

~* Flashback *~

Dawn came on the appointed day. It was the most difficult day of Inuyasha's life. Today he would make a decision he must face for the rest of his life. Human or Demon? He must live as one when really he was both… and neither.

He had spent the previous night sitting in his favourite tree, plagued by an unusual insomnia. He mind seethed with unanswered questions and doubts.

"Inuyasha?" The clear, gentle voice dispelled his dark thoughts. A voice belonging to the one he loved, one who loved him in return. That, in itself, was rare and precious, not to be considered lightly. Kikyo's presence only increased his current state of confusion.

She approached his slowly, holding the Shikon no Tama in her hand. The morning light caught the jewel, causing it to glow with an otherworldly light, revealing it to be both a blessing and a curse. It was the key to his happiness-a future with her.

"Have you made your decision?" She asked.

Inuyasha nodded sadly as he slid from the tree branch to stand on the ground before her. Did she understand what this meant to him? He was prepared to give up part of his being-his soul-so his could be with her.

Kikyo only smiled, placing the Shikon no Tama in his hands. The choice was made. There was no turning back now.

The jewel felt heavy and cold resting in the palm of his hand. He gazed into the swirling light of its crystalline depths and spoke the words.

"I wish..."

The light flashed, blinding him. His wish was granted. Deep inside himself, he felt something twist and shatter, leaving him with a profound feeling of loss. A stranger burning sensation began in his chest and slowly radiated outward to his fingers and toes. The only thing he could hear was the sound of his own screams as the pain spread into his brain, consuming his mind in fire.


Inuyasha was lying on the ground. Cool hands gently smoothed the sweat damp hair from his forehead. Although the touch was tender, his body still burned from the pain of the ordeal. He flinched slightly and moaned. His eyes opened slowly to the bright light of the sun.

When his vision cleared, Inuyasha saw Kikyo kneeling at his side. Her face, although glad, was filled with concern. Once his mind had adjusted to the situation, his breathing quickened and he began to panic. Kikyo's sweet, comforting scent, what had initially attracted him to her, was missing. So was the reassuring sound of her steady heartbeat.

Despite Kikyo's protests, Inuyasha managed to pull his aching body into a sitting position. Frantically he ran his now clawless fingers through his hair. The dog-like ears had disappeared and with them their superior hearing. They had reformed on the sides of his head in human form. The stands of hair that fell into his eyes were no longer silver, he noticed but an inky black.

"Inuyasha." Kikyo reached out and took his hands, stopping his desperate examination of his own body. "It's all right." She looked into his frightened eyes then wrapped her arms around his shivering body, trying to soothe him. "Don't you see? The gods heard your wish. You're human now."

~* Flashback end *~

The pain hadn't ended with the transformation. It had only begun. Adjusting to his human form was difficult. As a hanyou Inuayasha had been forced to experience humanity on the new moon, but he had never gotten used to it. He usually just ignored it for that one night and continued living in the morning. Now he faced it during his every waking moment.

Now his demonic speed and agility were gone, leaving his body feeling slow and clumsy. His once keen senses were deadened and dull so at times he felt almost blinded. He could no longer rely on his sense of smell or night vision. Two things that, given the current situation, would be an asset. He even found his appearance startling-human ears instead of dog-like ones, black hair, purple eyes and countless other subtle alterations. It was a long time before he could look at his own reflection without a shiver.

It was a difficult time but Inuyasha was glad to have Kikyo. He had made this choice of his own free will for the sake of their happiness. But still, part of him mourned the loss of his demon nature and always would. It felt like he had betrayed his father and his father's kind. Worse, it felt like he had betrayed himself.

Inuyasha also had to suffer the rejection of the other villagers who were wary and suspicious of a demon turned human. It was nothing new. Humans had been distrustful of him since the day he was born. But it was different now-painful. He remained outcasted even though he was one of them.

All he had was Kikyo. She accepted him unconditionally, trusting him in a way she hadn't when he was a hanyou. This Inuyasha found disturbing. She loved him now that he had changed for her, but would she have loved him anyway? He didn't know but he did know that he loved Kikyo and because of her, he survived. Their lives together had been simple and happy. At least they would have been if not for the appearance of the demon.

It had appeared out of nowhere. Cunning and vicious it killed several people before the concentrated effort of the village had driven it away. But it was not enough to simply send it away. A being that evil had to be destroyed before it could do any more damage. As the village protectors both Inuyasha and Kikyo left to hunt it down.

"And that," Inuyasha mental summed up his thoughts "is how we came to find ourselves marooned in the woods in the middle of the night."

They hadn't gone much farther when Inuyasha heard Kikyo gasp. She pointed. A dark shadow could be seen weaving in and out of the trees ahead of them. A spine tingling chill ran through their bodies. Kikyo immediately recognized the evil aura while Inuyasha felt a disturbing familiarity. It was the demon.

Kikyo readied her bow and arrows.

"Demon begone!" she shouted and took aim.

Her arrow flew to the mark, swiftly and accurately. The demon fell to the ground, dead. Its heart had been pierced by the arrow's deadly tip. Any thoughts Kikyo may have had of victory quickly fled her mind as she heard a painful gasp from the man beside her.

"Inuyasha?" she asked in concern. Inuyasha had slumped to his knees, his hands clutching his chest over his heart. From between his clenched fingers oozed rivulets of blood. The crimson liquid slowly collected on the ground in a puddle.

"Inuyasha! What's wrong?" Kikyo's eyes searched the nearby forest trying to locate the attacker but found no one. Her eyes returned to his face as he began to choke and cough leaving coppery bloodstains on his lips.

Gently wiping away the blood, Kikyo panicked. Inuyasha was dying. Although a remarkable healer, she knew her limits. Not even the greatest healer in the world could cure death. Though painful, she had to admit that there was nothing she could do for him. His life was slowly seeping away between his fingers and he couldn't breathe. What had happened? The only thing near them that was dangerous was the demon and it lay dead by her own hand.

Ignoring her gentle mistrations, Inuyasha slowly got to his feet. The movement was painful and did not help his condition but his strange affinity for the demon had not ended with it's death. If anything, it had intensified. As he walked closer to the body lying in the middle of the clearing, his strength gave out and he fell to his knees beside it. Turning the body over, he began to examine it's face.

It's long matted hair may have once been silver, Inuyasha noted with disgust. But the hair was caked with so much dried blood and filth that it was difficult to tell. Purple slashs marked the cheeks destroying an otherwise flawless complexion. Even the facial features could have been beautiful but they were twisted with pain and creulty into something inhuman and frightening. But nothing was as disturbing as it's eyes. Bloody red and glaring, even the haze of death could not extinguish the spark of hate within their depths--the pride, the arrogance, the contempt felt for all living beings including the self.

Looking at the creature's body, Inuyasha saw that beneath it's tattered ratty clothing, Kikyo's purity arrow proturded from it's heart. He looked down at the mysterious wound in his own chest and realization dawned in his dimming eyes.

"It's..." he gasped, "...ME?!"

He didn't hear Kikyo scream as his body hit the ground. He had already succumbed to the darkness.


End of Part One


A/N: I appologize for any glaringly bad spelling and grammer errors. My copy of Mircrosoft Word refuses to work on my computer despite my best efforts to fix it. (and believe me, I've tried everything short of re-formatting the drive!) So consequently I'm writing this on notepad without the benefit of spell check. I have proof-read but I may have missed some.

Despite all appearances, this isn't the end. There will be one more part which I hope to complete soon. Have any questions or comments, let me know. This is my first angst story and I'd like to know how I'm doing.