I'm currently in the middle of writing a new chapter for Polyamorous, but I thought up this plot and I had to type it out before I lost it. So, although most people probably hate this pairing, here's a KakuSaku smut fic. Don't hate me.

Sakura had had plenty of experience with strange medical phenomena, but nothing could ever compare to the phenomena that was Kakuzu. She had dealt with jinchuuriki, immortals, men with mouths on their hands, giant sharks, women partly made out of paper, and a once-puppet-now-human man. But never had she dealt with someone who was literally stitched together. As far as she knew, he didn't even have any working organs other than his five stolen hearts. She had demanded to Leader that Kakuzu come to her office so she could study him, giving him the excuse that if he was ever hurt and needed healing she would need to know how his body works.

Honestly, she was just intrigued.

Now, as Kakuzu sat on her hospital bed staring her down with his strangely colored eyes, she had no idea where to start. Should she start with his mouth, where she was pretty sure he didn't even have a tongue? Or should she start by chakra probing his body to see if there were any organs left in him after so many years of being alive? She wondered, for medical purposes of course, if he still had his genitals and if they were still usable. But she quickly shook that thought off, knowing that would not be a good way to start off a conversation with this strange and angry man sitting in front of her.

"Are you going to just sit there and stare at me the whole time, girl?" He asked gruffly. He was annoyed already and he hadn't even been there ten minutes yet. Then again, she shouldn't have expected him to be very pleased with her just sitting there and contemplating what to do. She should have figured this out in advance.

"Oh, um.. I apologize, Kakuzu-san. I was just wondering where to start." He gave no response, so she decided to start from the top and work her way down. He was still in full ninja garb, mask and all. "Will you please remove your cloak, mask and hat?" She asked carefully. He made an unsatisfied noise in the back of his throat, but did as she asked. He probably didn't like taking off his mask often.

The length of his hair surprised her. It was slightly shorter than Deidara's, but seemingly just as well taken care of. She half expected him to take off his hat to reveal an absolute rat's-nest of hair sitting atop his head. Sakura could say she was pleasantly surprised.

She observed his face first. He had a Glasgow Smile that he had stitched together just enough for him to be able to open his mouth. She studied the stitches, wondering what would happen if she pulled slightly on one. They seemed old, but sturdy. Sakura tugged lightly on the stitch closest to the left side of his mouth. It did nothing except make one side of his mouth curve upwards, giving him a strange smirk. She giggled.

"Do you find something funny about my face?" She had forgotten how close to his mouth she was that she was startled when he spoke. He held the same tone of voice he'd had when he first spoke to her, which was that of annoyance. She swallowed thickly.

"N-no! I just wanted to see how sturdy your stitches were, so I pulled on one, and it made you smile.."

"Is my smile funny?"

"No! That isn't what I'm saying. It was just... Out of character for you." She waited for a response again but got none, so she assumed he wasn't angry anymore. "Can you open your mouth for me?" Kakuzu glared down at her but opened his mouth anyway.

She was amazed. He still had teeth, perfectly intact, pearly white, none missing. But as she thought, no tongue. It was a mess of threads that seemed to run from the opening of his mouth down his throat, ending god-knows-where. Kakuzu was still staring at her as she examined his mouth, and she made awkward eye contact with him before she reached over for a tongue depressor. She pressed down on the threads that would have been his tongue, looking down his throat. The inside of his mouth looked fairly healthy, not rotting like she had thought. He had taken good care of his body, or what was left of it at least. She had to ask.

"...How do you keep your mouth so healthy and clean?"

He looked at her as if she was stupid.

"Have you never heard of simple dental hygiene, Dr. Haruno?" He asked sarcastically. She bit the inside of her cheek in annoyance.

"I wasn't asking how you brush your teeth in the morning, I was asking how you seem so healthy even though a normal body would be rotting by the age you're at." His dark eyes snapped down to her, and she realized she had insulted him by mentioning his age. She tried to fix it. "I-I mean, you don't look to be old at all, in fact you look younger than Kisame without that mask on!" He still looked angry. Sakura sighed. "I didn't mean to insult you, Kakuzu-san. Your body just amazes me." His eyes softened a bit, and Sakura let out a breath she didn't realize she was holding.

She continued down his neck and saw no stitches there, though she did want to know if he had an esophagus or if it was just threads continuing down his throat. She'd check that out later during the chakra probing. For now she settled on the stitches that began at his shoulders and wove down his back, holding his four masks in place. She was very careful about touching the masks, as Kakuzu would growl whenever she went by the edge of one too roughly. She knew they were essential for him, and she wouldn't tamper with that. She was just intrigued by the stitching. It continued down his back and underneath his shirt and pants, and Sakura vaguely wondered how far down those intricate stitches went. But again, clearly for medical reasons only.

"Um... Will you take off your shirt?" She asked hesitantly. He looked strangely at her, but obliged. His stitches ran down the middle of his torso and criss-crossed around his chest. Again the stitches ran below his pants but she would keep that thought locked away for now. Instead, she gently ran her finger down the main stitch. Kakuzu stiffened as she did this, and he suddenly seemed uncomfortable rather than irritated. She almost laughed. Kakuzu was ticklish.

Sakura ran her finger daintily back up the stitching, and Kakuzu began to shiver. She was tempted to poke him in the sides and see if he would squirm, but this was a lot more fun. She decided to see if the same thing would happen if she ran her finger along the stitches coming out from that main stitch, that crossed his chest and abdomen. So she did it. She gently ran her finger along the bumpy stitching around his chest area and he shivered again.

As Sakura was doing this, she noticed that Kakuzu really did not look old at all. His body was perfectly muscled and toned, and if he didn't have stitches holding all of it together he would be flawless. She vaguely wondered what he looked like in his hay day, before he became a murderer, bounty hunter, and stealer of hearts (literally).

She was violently pulled out of her thoughts by Kakuzu's hand gripping her wrist. She was so deep into her thoughts she hadn't realized she'd been running her fingers up and down his stitches mindlessly for at least two minutes. She looked up at him fearfully, afraid he was going to seriously harm her. But he had a strange look in his eyes, one that she hadn't seen in him before - although she had never really looked into his eyes before today – and his lips were pressed into a tight line. She closed her eyes and waited for some sort of harsh beating or brash words.

"Stop doing that." His voice came out forced. "You don't want to see what will happen if you continue."

Her heart skipped a beat at the sound of his voice, and when he released her wrist she slowly pulled her hand, and her whole body, away from him for a moment to catch her breath. She decided to do a chakra probe next, because it wouldn't require as much... Touching. She informed him of her plan and he said nothing, so she took that as an okay and went at it.

It took a while to search through all the thick threads, but she found all five of his hearts. She continued to probe around his chest and abdomen, searching for other working organs, but found none. She even checked his throat like she had earlier planned, and as she thought, there were only threads. But with his pants still on there was only so much she could search. She was tempted to test out her earlier thought, on if his genitalia still worked.

Still, it was only for medical reasons. Obviously.

"U-um.. Kakuzu-san, will you take off your pants now...?" She asked hesitantly. His eyes widened a bit at her demand.

"Why would you want those off...?" He asked, his voice gruff but distant.

"Well, I..." She was nervous to tell him what her actual plan was. "I just.. Want to probe more, at your lower organs, or at least where they should be. And I can't do that if your pants are still on.." Her voice sounded small to her. "I-if that's too much to ask, y-you don't have to..." But he was already taking his pants off, leaving him in only his loose fitting boxers. Her face turned beet red, and he actually smirked at her expression.

"What, now you're feeling uncomfortable, Dr. Haruno?" 'There he goes with that god damn tone again.' Sakura thought to herself, a little irritated. She didn't like the way he said her name, as if she wasn't a reliable medic. So she took it upon herself to pull his boxers down as low as they would go without revealing anything, and it was his turn to feel uncomfortable again.

"I'm not feeling uncomfortable at all, actually. Are you, Kakuzu-sama?" She added the -sama suffix in just to make him feel more awkward than necessary. And it seemed to work, as he refused to respond again, but also refused to meet her eyes. She smirked.

So again she probed around, not expecting to actually find anything, but finding some pleasure in just exploring his body. She also had a chance to look at his legs, which were also criss-crossed in stitches that led up his thighs to underneath his boxers. And the stitches on his back and chest also ran below his boxers. He had to have something stitched on down there. And that was when she found it. The only working system Sakura could find in his entire body other than his hearts.

His entire reproductive system was in use. Which meant...

Sakura turned red again, pulling her hands away. Kakuzu sat up.

"Find anything... Interesting?"

That deep tone of voice that he had was now sending shivers down her spine. He knew what she found, and he knew she would find it. She inwardly cussed him out in her mind.

"Yes, I found something quite... Interesting..." She paused. "...The only working organs in your body are your hearts, and your reproductive system."

"I am fully aware."

"How... How can you live with only those two systems? Do you even have any blood flow to-" She stopped herself, realizing what she was about to ask was too inappropriate. She couldn't bring herself to finish her sentence. So Kakuzu finished it for her.

"Are you asking me if I have enough blood flow to get an erection?"

Sakura went pale.

"Ah, so that is what you are asking me..." Kakuzu's voice got lower. "Do you really want to know the answer to that?"

Sakura choked on the air she was breathing. "I-I..." She met his brilliantly colored eyes, his intense stare burning through her own emerald green gaze. And then his gaze traveled down, and of course she followed his eyes until they landed on exactly what he wanted them to.

Surely enough, he had an erection.

"Does that answer your question, Sakura?"

The sight of him and the way he said her name caused her entire body to get hot, and to become as aroused as he was. She didn't know what to do. Sure, she wasn't a virgin, but this was an older man, a much older man – although he didn't quite look it – and he was aroused because of her. He had probably had plenty of experience with women much better in bed than she, and yet he seemed to want her. She wasn't sure what made her want him so badly, but she hadn't been this turned on by a man in a long time. Especially since working with the Akatsuki, where it is near impossible to get laid unless you plan on sleeping with a psychopath, which is, she supposed, exactly what she wanted to do right now anyway. But she wouldn't make the first move.

She met his eyes again, and returned the dark, sultry look that he had been giving her. Kakuzu could tell she wanted him, but he wanted to tease her a bit first.

"So, Sakura," She shivered at her name. His voice dropped even lower. "Call me Kakuzu-sama again."

She almost let out a little moan, but she stopped herself, and she whispered, "K-Kakuzu-s-s-sama..." She couldn't help how shy and small her voice came out. She wanted to sound confident, but under the steady gaze of this man she couldn't do it.

"Say it again. Louder, girl."

"K-Kakuzu-sama.." Her voice was louder this time, but still barely above a whisper. Suddenly she felt gentle caresses on her inner thighs and gasped. His threads were touching her, rubbing her, slowly making their way up her thighs to the place she wanted to be touched the most. "K-Kakuzu-sama!" She gasped, still quietly, more out of surprise than anything. The tendrils stopped moving right before touching her most intimate area. She looked back up at him, almost begging, and he looked back at her with a blank look on his face but still a sexy look in his eye.

"I said, louder!" His voice boomed, startling her, and she screamed.


The soft threads immediately found their way underneath her panties and Kakuzu pulled her to him, kissing her as she moaned quietly. His threads were gentle, rubbing her clit and slowly pumping into her. She wanted more. She wanted his own hands to touch her. So she pulled away from him and his threads, surprising him. He thought she was enjoying what he was doing to her.

Then she started taking her clothes off.

She pulled off her medic coat, unzipping the front of her shirt and letting them both fall to the floor, exposing her perky breasts to the chilled air. He watched her intently, erection getting more and more unbearable by each article of clothing she took off. Even as she slowly took off her gloves, he got more aroused. No woman had ever been able to do that to him. Not that he can remember, anyway.

Soon Sakura was down to just her panties, and she decided that they were even. She started walking towards him again, but when his threads came out, she stopped.


"Excuse me?" Kakuzu sounded incredulous.

"No threads." She started walking again, until her breasts were just barely touching his chest. "I want you to touch me."

Kakuzu pulled her on top of him, startling her, making her give a little shriek. He smirked. "That isn't the only screaming you'll be doing tonight." She blushed red but didn't let it ruin her streak of confidence.

"Oh, really? You think you can make me scream?"

Right as the words left her lips, Kakuzu flipped them over so he was on top of her, and her panties were ripped to shreds in a matter of seconds. His hands were all over her, feeling her curves, pinching her nipples, squeezing her ass, rubbing her wetness. Two fingers pumped in and out of her as his other hand worked on her breasts, squeezing and pinching and rubbing. Sakura was moaning softly, mewling like a cat, whispering his name in-between kisses. It felt strange to make out with a man with threads for a tongue, but somehow it was still enjoyable. She loved the way he felt on her. She loved the way his stitches rubbed against her as she grinded her body against his. And he loved the way her petite body felt under his, so fragile yet strong.

When she felt she was about to come, she used her strength to flip them over again so she was once again on top, straddling him. His eyes were half-lidded as he watched her move down his body, pulling his boxers and revealing his hard cock. She stared at it for a brief moment, just relishing in finally knowing where all those stitches led up to. There was a single stitch that circled around his shaft, ending near the head. It was large, larger than others that she had been with. It was slightly longer than most but much thicker. She couldn't wait to feel what those stitches would feel like inside her. But she had another plan at the moment.

She licked him from base to tip, loving the way his stitches felt against her tongue. She took the entire thing in her mouth, licking around his stitches and sucking as she came up. She felt him shudder and thought she heard a quiet groan come from him, but she couldn't be sure. His threads came out to feel her again, but this time she didn't mind. She was too focused on what she was doing. Sakura continued to suck until Kakuzu pulled her off of him, setting her on the floor. She was confused for a moment until he got up to stand behind her and bent her over the bed.

Sakura spread her legs wide for him, allowing him full access and a perfect view of her round ass and wet pussy. He slowly rubbed his cock up down her folds, and she moaned.

"Kakuzu-sama! Please!"

Kakuzu thrust into her and she almost saw stars. This was the best she'd felt in a long time. His stitches just added to her pleasure as he rapidly thrust in and out of her tight hole. He was groaning deeply, and like he predicted, he had her screaming for him. She wouldn't be surprised if the entire Akatsuki base could hear her, but she didn't care. She couldn't care less if the whole world knew she was having the best sex of her life with Kakuzu of the Akatsuki.

Sakura alternated between screams and crying out his name, and Kakuzu grunted and groaned at every deep thrust. This was the best sex he'd had in a while.

He hoped every man in the Akatsuki could hear, he hoped they were all jealous. He was sick of hearing his brainless idiot of a teammate talk about the "fucking banging hot medic". But out of everyone in this shithole, he was the one who got to fuck her. And he was going to make sure he enjoyed every last second of it.

His thrusts got erratic and uneven as he got close to his end, and her screams and moans just got louder. He gripped her hips so tightly he wouldn't be surprised if he left bruises there, but he didn't care. He just pulled her back onto his cock as he thrust in, making Sakura dizzy from the pleasure she was feeling. When she came, she screamed his name, knowing if everyone hadn't heard them before, they knew god damn well now. He came into her soon after with a low groan, and he let go of her hips.

She tried to stand up but her legs were wobbly, and she fell back into Kakuzu. She smiled up at him, and he smirked down at her. They went in for a kiss, and she wrapped her arms around his neck, both of them still naked, when Hidan barged in.

"Are you FUCKING KIDDING ME?! You wouldn't fuck me but you'll fuck THIS MOTHERFUCKING DICKHEAD?!"

Sakura knocked him through a few walls before she and Kakuzu moved onto round two.