Author's note: So I was very upset with the ending to Allegiant. I thought it was an amazing book, but I felt that Tris's death wasn't necessary. So I decided to write what I believe should have happened instead. This will have multiple chapters if you guys want, just let me know. For now though, enjoy the story :)
From Allegiant chapter fifty
I hear footsteps in the hallway outside. The soldiers are coming. Good- I need them to. I need them to be exposed to the airborne serum, to pass it on to the rest of the compound. I hope they wait until the air is clear of death serum.
I feel a thread tugging me again, but this time I know that it isn't some sinister force dragging me toward death.
This time I know it's my mother's hand, drawing me into her arms.
And I go gladly into her embrace.
Can I be forgiven for all I've done to get here?
I want to be.
I believe it.
That's the first thing that comes to mind as the darkness lifts. My entire body aches, but why?
I try to open my eyes but they are sealed shut. It was as if I cried myself to sleep, but that doesn't seem right. I don't remember going to bed. I don't remember having a reason to cry. All I remember is…
"Mom." I mumble, but it comes out hoarse.
Questions tumble through my head as my mind begins to focus. What happened? Where is she? Or more importantly, where am I? What happened to me?
I try to open my eyes again and this time it works, but I have to shut them again instantly because of the blinding light above me.
"She's waking up!" I hear a woman shout. I recognize the voice, but barely.
"I'll get the pain medication ready." Another voice states, this one, obviously male, is foreign to me.
"What-" I try to speak, but the first voice silences me.
"Shh it's okay. You're okay."
I want to tell the woman that I know I'm okay. My body hurts, I can't speak, I can barely open my eyes, and I don't remember how I even got this way, but I'm breathing. I'm alive, and that makes me okay.
"Here you go. I'll be outside if you need anything." The male voice says.
"Thanks, Travis. Now I'm going to give you some medicine, okay? It will take the pain away." The woman soothes. The pain is replaced by numbness. I shake my head.
"No. No… peace… serum." I manage to get out. I didn't want to go down that road again. My time in Amity seems like so long ago, but the memory of those hours spent locked in my room laughing at nothing are still fresh in my mind.
"It's not peace serum, it's called morphine. It'll take the pain away. I think you should try to go back to sleep for a little while, your body needs to rest so it can heal. Don't worry."
The thing is, when someone tells you not to worry, you always worry even more. I open my eyes, squinting at the blinding light.
"Please, don't." I manage to shift my eyes to a figure on my right. I can make out a white smock and dark brown hair, but as for facial features I'm at a loss.
"I'm sorry, sweetheart, but it's doctor's orders. Once you become more stable, I can stop giving it to you. But right now you need to relax and sleep." I see the figure stick what looks like a tube into another tube. No, a needle into a tube. I open my eyes more and follow the tube down towards my hand.
"What is this?" I ask, now glaring at the woman next to me. I can open my eyes almost all the way now, so I see the calculating expression on her tan face. Erudite, I think to myself. But she seemed too nice and relaxed to be Erudite, too serene.
"That is an intravenous tube," she sates, pulling the needle out of the tube. "It goes directly into your hand so we can deliver fluids and medicine to you without having to give you multiple injections."
I glance down at my hand again and notice a large bandage wrapped around where the tube connects with flesh.
"What happened?" I ask still staring at the bandage. The woman glances down but dismisses me and continues fiddling with the needle she's holding.
"That's just to keep the IV in place so it doesn't slip out." I nod and continue scanning my body. Most of it is covered by blankets though, so I try to raise my right hand and tug them off. I'm startled when my hand refuses to move.
"My hand." I panic. The woman only nods and disposes the needle in a marked bucket behind her.
"Your arm was shot, it will be difficult to move any part of it for a while, that includes your hand."
"I was… shot?" No. I wasn't shot. My mom was hugging me and then… then darkness. Then I woke up here, wherever here is.
"Yes, three times. Once in your arm, once in your stomach, and once in your head."
She says it so matter-of-factly, but I go cold. All of a sudden I can feel exactly where those three bullets pierced my skin. All of a sudden visions of a man in a wheelchair, smoke- and spice-smelling airborne serum, and Caleb dance before my eyes. The attack. I made Caleb leave, I took his place because I knew I would be resistant to the death serum. But David was waiting for me. And he shot me. He shot me in my head.
"H-how did I survive?" I close my eyes, replaying the scene over and over again. Surely I was dead. I saw my mother. My mother was there talking to me.
"Honestly, we don't know. You suffered major blood loss, but your friends and some medics got to you in time. You were lucky I guess."
"You said I got shot in the head though."
"Technically the bullet only grazed your scalp, it didn't go past your skull, the bullet in your stomach didn't hit any major organs, and the bullet in your arm missed your brachial artery. Like I said, you got very lucky. Thankfully David was never a good shot."
The woman, who I now recognize as the nurse who helped me in the hospital after the first attack Nita planned, gives a soft smile. She then proceeds to walk over to the counter and wash her hands.
That's right, they're germ freaks here, I think to myself.
I look around the room, now accustomed to the bright light. It looks the same as when I was here a couple days ago, minus the large amount of injured people. Now I'm the only one here.
"But I remember my mother," I start. The nurse looks over at me as she dries her hands. "She was there and she took my hand and I was going to leave with her. I was going to go with her to…"
"Often when people suffer major blood loss they experience hallucinations."
"No, it wasn't a hallucination, she was there. She took my hand and hugged me. I felt it!" I hear the beeping of the heart monitor beside me start to pick up its pace as I begin to breathe faster. She was there, I wasn't hallucinating.
"No, honey. That was a medic. A couple of them went in to help you after your brother shot David. You probably just imagined the medic who picked you up to carry you here as your mother." I shake my head in disbelief.
"Caleb shot David?" The nurse walked over to me and sat on the edge of my bed.
"Yes, he did."
"And is David…"
I trail off, but I already know the answer. Caleb went through a training session with Tobias to learn how to handle a gun. By the end of it he could hit the middle of the target every time. He was a quick learner, just like I was during my initiation. I guess that's the Erudite in us.
"David is dead." The nurse confirms. I just nod, trying not to think of my brother as a killer. Trying not to think he is like me now.
"Well, I'm sure that medicine is starting to kick in," the nurse says as she stands. "I'll let you get some rest."
I don't feel the pain as much and my mind is becoming foggy, but I can't stop thinking about what happened. I remember taking Caleb's place. I remember the death serum and how I survived it. I remember David and him admitting how he loved my mom. I remember pain and numbness and then my mom was there. But she wasn't actually there, it was a medic. Caleb shot David and the medics saved my life.
I try to make sense of it all as my vision starts to blur. After a couple minutes of resistance, I fall into a dreamless sleep.