Safe in the Snow
Disclaimer: I do not own DW
Plot: John Smith has been travelling with the Bad Wolf for two years. He has feelings that he won't let know and the Bad Wolf feels the same way. In the snow, walking by her side is the best after being nearly killed. ONESHOT. Warning loads of Christmas fluff.
They always touched each other without the other saying anything. Sometimes it'd be their arms linking, or their hands being held or just leaning on each other. He loved that contact. It was safe and warm; comforting like the TARDIS was when he was inside with the Bad Wolf.
For two years Doctor John Smith had been travelling with the Bad Wolf; from Hendricks to their current point right now walking in the snow-laden park on Christmas. They had adventures where the Sun had finally destroyed Earth; the dead walked the streets of Cardiff; stopping a Slitheen invasion in London; all those adventures through the Bad Wolf's ninth and tenth bodies. Today, a Christmas Cyberman invasion. He had nearly been upgraded if not for something the Cybermen had not counted on. Something that even the Bad Wolf had counted on.
Jack had been with them. He got shot in the chest several times and should have died, but didn't. Ever since Satellite 5, since he saw the Bad Wolf's tenth regeneration, both the Bad Wolf and the captain had been different. For the Bad Wolf, it was perfectly natural. She changed from her usual broody gloomy self to a hyper cheerful active – not to mention, beautiful – blonde that flew in a blue police box across space and time with John. She said that when she regenerated that her personality may turn the complete opposite of what she was. For Jack, even though he joked and flirted, there was a heavy aged look in his eyes. He would receive a blow that would give death instantly and would still survive.
"So … this has been a fun Christmas!" the Bad Wolf sighed contently, leaning into John's arm.
"Yup, those Cybermen. When they tried to convert me, it didn't work. Why?" John asked.
"Well, the Cybermen believe in not having emotions. They were making you the Cyber Controller instantly wiring you to every Cyberman in the vicinity. You were almost converted when there was a giant surge of emotional energy, overpowering the conversion process and well yeah, Christmas was saved!" she cried.
Emotional energy! He heard the Bad Wolf scream out his name back there in the Cyberman lair. It triggered something in him. Without thinking, he said: "So I defeated them with love,"
"Love?" the Bad Wolf repeated. "For what?"
"Um … bananas?" he tried weakly.
The Bad Wolf laughed. He liked her laugh. A smile would break out on her face, she would throw her head back and a melodic lovely sound would chime. John laughed too.
"Any other questions?"
"It's about Jack," he stated. The smile died on her face, a dark heavy expression now present. "He should've died. Nobody could've survive getting shot by that much Cybermen without dying. What's going on? Ever since we last saw him on Satellite 5 he's been different."
The Bad Wolf gazed at John. There was a heartbroken look on her face. John didn't like that face. She had that face when someone who didn't deserve to die died and when she talked about Gallifrey she had that face. "Do you remember anything about Satellite Five?"
"After I heard your hologram's lovely speech, the TARDIS did something. There was this light and then blank," he answered honestly, trying to remember the black bits in his memory.
The Bad Wolf put her other hand on his and tightened her grip. "That light you looked into was the heart of the TARDIS. You looked at the TARDIS and she looked back. Your head became filled with the Time Vortex. You became the Doctor,"
"The Doctor? You mean all those words we saw ever since the day I started travelling with you?" It was true. It started when a boy sprayed the words "Doctor" on Powell Estate. Then when the Moxx of Balhoon said something about "The Doctor Scenario". The words appeared in other languages. Satellite 5 was owned by Doctor Corporations.
"I can still recall the words you said," her voice fell into an otherworldly voice. "I am the Doctor. I create myself. I take the words and I scatter them, in time and space". That was why we kept running into those words. You placed those words all over our shared timeline. It was the best word to choose because you were a doctor. You saw the whole of time and space; you were basically a Time God. You destroyed the Daleks with just a wave of your hand,"
Her face became misty, overwhelmed with memories.
"But I don't remember… There is no way I would've done that unless," he could remember the ninth incarnation of the Bad Wolf being surrounded by Daleks. "I wanted to protect you,"
"You – the Doctor – said that as well."
"But that still doesn't explain Jack." John brought the subject back.
"Jack … while you were the Doctor, you could control everything. The day and night, the sun and moon. You controlled life itself. You brought Jack back to life. He absorbed that energy, made him deathless. He crossed the libe between life and death once and now he can't cross it again,"
"He's immortal? He can't ever die?"
"Yes. I'm sorry John."
The Bad Wolf apologized whenever she had done something wrong or if something was her fault. He brought Jack back to life. And he also brought him Hell. Jack acted like it was no big deal, that he was okay with it, but he wasn't. He was miserable. It was John's fault.
"If I hadn't –"
"Don't," John silenced her. "It's not your fault. It never was."
This regeneration was much more prone to crying than her last. Tears began to well up in her eyes, smudging the mascara she now wore. The Bad Wolf let go of his hand, wrapping her arms around his neck. John did the same, holding the Bad Wolf in his arms.
"I don't deserve you John," she whispered in his ear.
"You don't have to deserve me," John murmured back. He rubbed his face into the crook of her shoulder and neck. "I'm happy to be by your side,"
They broke apart, still touching. The Bad Wolf's forearms were around his neck, hanging there loosely. John still had his arms around her lovely waist. He kept them there.
"Then your regeneration, it was because of me," he said, piecing it together.
"Not your fault. You needed a Bad Wolf." she responded, a light smile on her lips.
He really shouldn't have. A tiny chuckle escaped his lips.
Snow began to fall again. It was soft and light, like cream on a cake. It gathered in the Bad Wolf's hair, making a halo around her head. He was sure it was in his hair as well. He was sure the Bad Wolf wasn't cold. She wore her favorite Union Jack shirt with her brown trench coat, black jeans and sneakers. John was freezing however. He only had his brown pinstriped suit.
"It's cold," he shivered.
"It is? You humans get so cold. At least twenty times a week you have to say you're cold," she whined. "And when I take you to a nice planet, you say it's too hot!"
"I'm human!" he snapped back.
"I know. Human. Lovely little human," she sang. "Capable of so much compassion and good. A true Bad Wolf's companion,"
"Bad Wolf," he exhaled, saying her name breathlessly. He had feelings for her. So many feelings for her; love, sadness, joy, happiness … heartbreak. Meeting her was the best thing that ever happened to him. He was only an orphaned doctor working endless hours at St. John's. When he became the Bad Wolf's companion, he met people that left a lasting impression on him. Jack, Gwen, Sarah-Jane. Before he knew it he had a family. "I … I … I -"
The Bad Wolf looked shaken by his words, her face cemented. She smiled suddenly, her tongue poking out and full of love. "I know," she said. "Me too,"
The words were a blessing, a miracle to him. The Bad Wolf let go of his neck, letting her hands wandered to the lapels of his suit jacket. She fisted it, pulling him close. John wasn't even surprised. Their lips smashed together, a warm feeling erupting all over both of them. His hands went to her hair. Her hair felt smooth and silky. He inhaled sharply through his nose, taking a deep smell of her. He wanted to go further. She opened her lips to him, tongues into contact with each other.
They stayed like that for a long time. They had kissed before but this was different. Their first real kiss. They explored each other's mouth with fervent passion running wild. The Bad Wolf was the first to pull back, gasping for air. John was left without breath as well.
"Phew!" she sighed. "That feels so much better!"
Count on her to ruin the romantic moment.
"Close your eyes," she said suddenly. John didn't. "I mean it John. Close. Your. Eyes,"
"Why?" he replied, sounding like a child.
"'Cause I said so. Now close 'em,"
"If you say so," John's eyes fluttered close. "They're closed."
He was aware of a weight being inserted into his jacket pocket. It was light, not all that heavy. He wandered what it was. A Christmas present of course, but what was it? The Bad Wolf told him to open his eyes. The Bad Wolf stood in front of him, grinning madly and "normal" as ever.
"Merry Christmas John," she said.
John pulled out the object in his pocket. The familiar small object was in his hands, the light piece at the end devoid of light, the metallic exterior feeling cool in his hands. The Bad Wolf's sonic screwdriver. "Your screwdriver. Wolf -"
"No. Your screwdriver," she emphasized. "It was mine. Now it's yours. I can always make another. Christmas just snuck up on me," she casually shrugged her shoulders looking away. She loved this thing. It saved their lives on many occasions. She gave it to him for a Christmas present. This was not easy for her, to just give something so important to him. It was equivalent of giving the TARDIS away. Not that she would ever.
"I … can't,"
"Take it John. Please," she urged. she made him hold it with both hands.
"In that case," John gave in, fishing for something in his suit. He finally found it in the back pocket of his pants. He pulled an antique silver pocket watch, shoving it into her hands. "Have this. It's the only thing I have left of my father. He made watches for a living. He made this for me for my fifth birthday. It's only thing I have left of him,"
"John, this is –"
"You gave up your screwdriver. I give up my dad's pocket. Besides it Christmas." he cut her off.
"Thank you John,"
"You're welcome." he said back. This was all he needed. Safe with the Bad Wolf, or as close as he could get to it, travelling through time and space. "Can we please go back to the TARDIS? It's freezing!" he shivered.
She groaned. The Bad Wolf began to make an impersonation of him. She held her arms around with herself, teeth chattering. "W-W-Wolf, it's cold-" she then changed into an overly hot sweaty posture, fanning herself. "It is so hot! Got any sunscreen Wolf?" she returned to her usual posture, shaking her head in disbelief. "Humans are such high maintenance."
"Watch it Wolf. I'm your boyfriend now so deal with it." he warned her.
The Bad Wolf let out a small giggle. She took his hand and started running. A wave of familiarity washed over him, remembering their first meeting. "Run!"
They raced off to the TARDIS, safe in the London snow that began to turn into an oncoming storm. John thought this was a dream. An impossible lovely dream. He wanted it to last forever. But everything has its end, he once said as the Doctor.