Author's Note: This is my first time posting on here. Go easy on me. This story will end in SLASH. Meaning TWO MEN TOGETHER. HOMOSEXUALITY! THERE WILL BE GAY! ...if you are not a fan of such, feel free to not read.
Disclaimer: I do not own anything you recognize. It is owned by the marvelous goddess J.K. Rowling. I make no money from this.
"Did you love her?" Draco asked, taking a sip of his firewhiskey and staring at the bar.
Stupefied, Harry stilled, listening to the sounds of the crowded bar around him. Well, he thought, of course he loved her. He was with her for nearly four years. Why would he stay with her if he didn't love her? But then once he bit back his initial reflex response, he thought. If he had loved her why wasn't he more hurt than this? He was disbelieving, yes. A bit shocked. But hurt? He was hurt that she hadn't considered his feelings enough to tell him they were over. That she felt the need to go behind his back with someone else until he caught them together.
But he couldn't say he was hurt that it was over. Instead, he felt a sense of relief. No more pressure for a ring, no more little hints and nudges from his friends that it had been four years since they got back together and perhaps he should get more serious. Well, all of them except Draco…he'd never liked Ginny really. He avoided her as much as possible and was rarely around Harry when she was with him. Not that Ginny had complained, as she wasn't exactly craving Draco's company either. Harry figured part of the enmity between them was because−despite everyone growing and maturing after the war−Malfoys and Weasleys just don't get along.
A war wasn't going to change that, obviously. Harry doubted even the apocalypse could change that.
"I thought I did…" Harry replied to Draco's question, "but maybe not. I mean, after the war I got back with her…we were like normal. Maybe that's why I did it. I needed something that hadn't been tainted by the destruction and death. Something that was familiar from before all the battles and horcruxes."
Draco nodded slowly, as if Harry was confirming thoughts he had had running through his head for a long time. "You wanted to feel alive…to prove you weren't gone too."
Harry though about it and nodded, looking at Draco. He was glad they had become friends after the trials. Harry had testified on Draco's and his mother's behalf, and he and Draco had since grown to be best friends. They had found once the expectations of Draco's father were removed (as he was currently serving ten years in Azkaban for his crimes), Draco was a lot more easy going and he and Harry had quite a bit in common.
"I think I might have been doing what was expected of me…I was afraid to lose what was left of my family. It's stupid, I know, but I used to worry the Weasleys would leave me if Ginny and I didn't work out," Harry stated.
"That isn't stupid. You've grown up with so many expectations put on you by the wizarding world, whom have repeatedly turned their backs on you. But the Weasleys didn't abandon you when we became friends. Hell, most of them even like me now…with the obvious exception," Draco sneered in distaste. He would never like the She-Weasel, regardless of if he liked the rest of them.
Harry sighed, "You never have gotten along with Ginny. You get along with all the other Weasleys, even Ron! But she never liked you either, I suppose. She hated when I would go hang out with you. She even brought it up when I confronted her and Dean about the affair. Going on about the amount of time you and I spend together like she was jealous or something. It's crazy."
Draco looked away from Harry, ducking his head a little to hide his blush. "Yeah, crazy…" he mumbled. Of course Harry never realized how attracted to him Draco was. 'He's always so oblivious to the feelings of others…at least the romantic ones. He's worse than the Weasel−Ron, not Weasel−sometimes,' Draco thought. 'He and Weaslette had been growing apart for years. I mean Harry spends most of his time either in Auror training or with Teddy or I.' He sighed. It would take an act of Merlin to get Harry to catch on. But now that Harry was single, Draco had a chance and he would make good use of it. He had seen Harry check out not just girls, but a few guys too. So he knew there was a possibility. He just had to make Harry see him that way.
Harry looked at Draco, noticing his blush and smiled to himself. 'He thinks I don't realize. But how could I not? He always gets that jealous face when I talk about Ginny. He thinks I'm so oblivious, but I'm not top of my Auror class for nothing.' Harry looked at his glass, noticing it was empty. "Are you ready to go? Maybe we can walk a bit. Grimmauld isn't that far," Harry asked.
"Eight blocks! In the cold December air! Why walk when we can apparate?" Draco whined.
Harry laughed, "Come on, you big baby. It won't kill you. We have warming charms. I'm feeling like a good walk." In reality he just wanted to talk to Draco some more and not in his house, where they both would be tempted to make a move Harry wasn't sure he was ready for. Not so soon after Ginny. When he finally made a move on Draco, it wouldn't be on the rebound.
"Fine," Draco responded, sliding on his black pea coat over his silver button down and black slacks. Even in a dingy, smoky bar he managed to look like a model. Harry grinned, pulling on his hoodie. They may be total opposites when it comes to fashion, but they were such a striking pair few patrons couldn't help but look. They settled up the tab then set out for Grimmauld, where Harry had moved to after Hogwarts. Kreacher had cleaned the place up quite a bit, making it livable and not so dark and dreary.
"I think I didn't want to feel alone. It's not just that I thought would be abandoned by all the Weasleys, I realized long ago that they love me like a son and they are even much angrier at Ginny than I am, frankly. I just wanted someone who accepted me and loved me in that way. Maybe it was companionship I wanted? Romantic love or sex? I don't know what it was really. I just felt like I would much rather be a part of a couple than be alone," Harry sighed, frustrated with himself. He couldn't think of how to get his feelings into the right words that didn't sound pathetic.
"You're not alone," Draco said, looking straight ahead. He felt like his heart was pounding out of his chest, at what he was about to say. He hoped this wouldn't ruin everything between them, but Harry wasn't with her anymore and this was his chance to make him see how he felt. To get his foot in the door, to follow the muggle expression. "It may feel like it. But even if you lost them and they did choose her over you, you wouldn't be alone Harry. I'm still here. I always will be, if you'll have me."
Draco looked up at Harry, and there was so much Merlin-damned emotion in those eyes, that Harry would've had to have been blind and stupid not to see, if he hadn't already have known.
They had stopped right in front of Grimmauld, just staring at one another. Draco with hope that was starting to fade the longer it took him to respond. Harry was trying to find the words to keep that hope alive, without going faster than he wanted.
"I know," said Harry.
Draco looked shocked, "You−you do?" He looked almost scared, sure nothing good could come of whatever Harry was going to say.
Harry stepped closer, smiling gently at Draco, laying his hand on his cheek. He could see the nervousness and didn't want him to leave before he said what he needed to. Draco was after all a Slytherin, and self-preservation was ingrained into him.
"Yeah. I know, Dray. I have known for a few weeks now. If Ginny hadn't have gotten caught, I still would've broken it off with her. But she gave me a reason to do it sooner than planned. I had wanted to let her down gently," Harry explains.
Draco nods, still a little stunned. "And…?" he asks, hoping against hope that this could work out.
"I like you. You are attractive and wonderful, and I would like to be with you. But give me a bit of time. It just ended between Ginny and I. I need to sort out my life a bit before I get into another relationship. It wouldn't be fair to you if I jumped straight into dating or bed with you, no matter how much we both want it. You are no one's rebound. You deserve better than that," Harry said, running his thumb over Draco's cheekbone. "Can you give me a bit of time?" Harry asked pleadingly. He wanted Draco and hoped this wouldn't upset him.
Draco smiled. "Of course. As long as you don't change your mind or forget about me," he said. Harry knew how he felt and even reciprocated those feelings. He could live with that. He would give Harry all the time in the world.
"I don't think that's possible…Ron's been trying for years," Harry grinned. He quickly kissed Draco on the cheek then ran up the stairs to Number Twelve. "Night, Dray. I'll be seeing you soon," he said over his shoulder as he walked inside.
Draco turned and walked away, unable to quit smiling. "Yeah…you will."