Disclaimer: I do not own Sekaiichi Hatsukoi or any of it's characters. I only own the idea of this story-

Warning: This story is yaoi (malexmale) and will include lemons in later chapters, so if you're not comfortable with things like that I suggest you should leave.

This story will also include some darker themes like depression, angst and the thought of suicide!

Chapter one: Friendship?

Do you know what it feels like to hate yourself?

To hate your body, your character, the way you speak, just simply the way you are?

I'm not talking about puberty and its insecurities.

I talk about people bullying you, telling you how strange you are and you can't help, but ask yourself if they are right.

And it doesn't matter what your friends, your family say.

It doesn't matter if people tell you that you are beautiful, nice and they like you.

Because deep inside of you, there is still that part that tells you how strange you are.

Because you remember the things said to you.

And in the end, even if all that happened is in the past now.

You can still hear their voices.

And even if you became stronger, more confident.

These insecurities will always be a part of you, wether a small or a big part.

Somehow they will still be there.

When Masamune Takano opened his eyes on a sunny day in spring, he wasn't exactly in one of his best moods. Mostly, because hell week was near. The other two reason were that he had never been a morning person and that today a new employee would start working in the emerald department of Marukawa, the department he was the chef editor of.

It wasn't like he had anything against the new employee, for fucks sake he didn't even knew much about the person starting today at their department. Isaka had just walked in while they had worked and announced that there would be an employee that would start working with them.

That said employee had only edited normal books so far and didn't have any experience with editing mangas and that they should help him to grew accustomed to everything.

And all of this when they were close to hell week.

Just fucking great.

While Takano didn't mind to have a tight schedule and having to stay late at work, since he didn't have a lover or something anyway, he didn't like when things got unnecessary difficult.

For the lover thing: He had just discovered that he wasn't suited for relationships.

While he certainly had dated some women in the past, they all had started to annoy him or bore him at some point. He had never really been in love with one of them anyway.

So he focused on his career. It wasn't like being in a relationship while having to work so much wasn't easy either.

He got out of bed and and showered in record time, a thing you learn pretty quickly when you had any experience with things like hell week. While he dressed, he decided that he could buy himself some coffee at work anyway, but still made himself a sandwich and ate it on his way to the subway station. That was one of the things that were really important to him. Even when you're having a lot of work to do, you should still eat enough food, the healthier the better.

At work it was already getting annoying. Hatori was arguing with one of his mangakas while being at the phone, Kisa had fallen asleep on his desk, though Takano didn't mind, since he had allowed that they all could take a break for a few minutes while they waited for some new manuscripts to arrive.

He really didn't want to look over to what Mino was doing though, they guy looked creepy as fuck when he smiled while being exhausted. So Takano had just leaned back in his chair with one of the mangas he was editing on his face to shield his eyes from the sun, so he could close them and enjoy the darkness this action caused.

He thought he heard muffled voices at some point, but was too caught up into his thoughts to really care. There was a book that he wanted to buy that would be released today and maybe he wondered if he would have enough time to buy it. Even though he knew that many people thought that he was listless or constantly bored with his life, that certainly wasn't the point.

He liked his life, he just didn't think that it was necessary for everyone to know when he was happy or what he did in his private time.

There was a really annoying noise just now. Nah maybe he had just imagined it.


„Takano-san you awake?"

Oh, so Kisa had called him.


„Shut up! I heard you the first time!" he answered (and lied) while sitting up and tossing the manga that had been lying on his face away.

When he looked around he noticed someone standing next to him. He looked at the person.

Deep emerald, green eyes looked back at him with something akin to shock.

„So? Who's this? A parttimer?" he asked while scratching his head and yawning.

„I'm a fulltime employee. My name is Onodera Ritsu, pleased to meet you" the guy answered with a hint of annoyance in his voice.

„So you're completely new to editing mangas am I right"?

„Yes, I worked on literature."

„Literature, huh? Useless" Takano muttered while standing up from his seat and ignoring the I-wish-I-could-kill-you-look the shorter male gave him.

„Come with me newbie, Satou-san should be here with her replacement manuscript" he said while walking towards the elevator. It wasn't like he had anything against the guy. He had just caught him at a bad time.

While they stood in the elevator Takano looked at the the new employee secretly.

Pale skin, brown hair, that fell slightly into his emerald eyes and a little bit taller than the average japanese man, but still shorter than Takano himself. He was a little bit thin, but Takano already knew that the female employees of the other departments would go crazy about the cute newbie and how everyone would talk about the fact that their department gained another handsome member.

Even Takano as a man himself had to admit that the other one standing beside him was beautiful. Though he seemed like he was really uncomfortable. He started fidgeting the moment they stepped into the elevator and the smile he had given them while introducing himself had seemed kinda forced.

Not a people-person huh?" he thought and now turned towards the newbie.

„I'm going to warn you beforehand. Don't even try to do anything half-assed while working in our department or I will make you stay late and do your job properly."

„I-I wasn't going to do anything like that! I really want to do everything right. You shouldn't judge a person this fast!" Now the smaller one glared at him.

Ah, so he can defend himself. Good."

„I'm not judging you, I'm warning you. I won't do anything like that, but I wanted to make clear that I don't tolerate half-assed work."

Onodera looked away with a nervous expression on his face when Takano continued to stare at him.

The elevator stopped and Takano stepped out of it with Onodera following him. „We will help your with your work and show you the basics, but right now were really busy so the important stuff will have to wait, just pay attention and remember everything important for now. Also, Kisa will probably want to make some welcome party for you ass soon as we have enough time again. Don't even try to deny him, he won't stop bothering you until you agree."

They walked into the lounge were Satou-san was already waiting.

Ritsu was so happy when he finally got home.

It wasn't like he hated his new job, but he would prefer to work in the literature department and his co-workers were so strange!

The guy named Mino-san, who sat across from him and smiled creepily the whole time.

Kisa-san, who sat next to Ritsu had been very friendly and Ritsu actually kind of liked him, but that guy was so loud and had asked a shitload of (embarrassing) questions.

There was this other guy who had arrived when Ritsu and Takano-san had gotten back from talking with Satou-san. His name was Hatori and he actually seemed like the most normal one!

And then..

Yes, and then there was Takano, his chef.

Goddamnit that guy was an asshole. Ritsu had to admit that the guy was good at his job and had been quite helpful, but he always made rude comments and called him newbie.

To sum it up they seemed like people Ritsu could work with greatly despite their strangeness (and the whole being-a-douchebag-thing regarding his chef).

As if you have the right to complain about other peoples strangeness!" a little voice in his head muttered.

Ritsu went into his kitchen to grab himself some juice and put the bento he had bought on his way home at a store on his kitchen table.

Kisa-san even seemed like a person Ritsu could be friends with, though if he thought about it, it would be better if he kept his distance towards all of them.

Hadn't Takano-san mentioned a welcome party for him?

Oh no he didn't want to have one! They would only ask strange questions and want to know about him and Ritsu couldn't let that happen.

I can't let them get close to me or they will find out! I will just decline politely and then everything will be okay, nothing will happen. They won't find out. They won't get close to me. They won't be able to hurt me.

I'am not going to get hurt again!"

He shook his head to get this thoughts out of his head and quickly drained his glass of juice he had started to clutch strongly in his hand without noticing.

He then just tossed the bento he had bought into his fridge and took a shower.

While the water fell against his skin and relaxed his sore muscles, he closed his eyes and a small voice announced in his head: „As if they could become your friends and hurt you. Who would want to be friends with you anyway?"

He quickly got out of the shower and went to bed.

And even though he had just showered, he felt like he was covered in dirt.

In lies.

In the pure strangeness itself.

„That's disgusting!"

You're disgusting!"

A/N: And cut! Yes, another story and a sad one this time.

I took some of the things inside this chapter from the manga, but also let some things out (like Takano and Ritsu kissing when helping that one mangaka with the kiss scene).

There are also going to be some other changes that will be mentioned later.

Please review ^^ they make me so happy!