Chapter 1: The Fowler Disturbance

Sheldon Lee Cooper

I found a particularly interesting article on the National Geographic website the other day that speculated on how humans may or may not evolve in the future.

Sheldon enthusiastically typed away as he chewed on a red vine. Skype sessions with Amy had been part of his routine after work, and he had always been excited to share things that fascinated him, especially when it was with her.

Sheldon Lee Cooper

One theory suggests that humans have already reached an evolutionary plateau and won't evolve further.

Sheldon Lee Cooper

They explained that genetic innovations are only likely to become fixed in small, isolated populations. As if, right?

Amy Farrah Fowler

Must be one of those loony-bins that thought the earth was flat.

Sheldon Lee Cooper


Sheldon liked the fact that Amy always agreed with him. If it was Leonard, he might have said something suggesting that the theory of an evolutionary plateau had its 'points' and 'merits.'

Sheldon Lee Cooper

The second one suggests that humans would continue to evolve into more intelligent and physically superior beings.

Sheldon Lee Cooper

Women would evolve to be stouter and shorter since those are the common ovulatory characteristics associated to multiple childbirth, and those characteristics are, in turn, passed on to their offspring.

Sheldon Lee Cooper

And based on the ever evolving technology, the more intelligent rules over the less intelligent when it comes to the mating chain.

Sheldon Lee Cooper

Still, with media and pop culture consistently corrupting the minds of the lesser folk, individuals would rather choose to procreate with the bad boy heartthrobs and scatterbrained females. A sad truth.

Amy Farrah Fowler

A sad truth indeed.

Sheldon Lee Cooper

I have to say though, I believe we are somewhat of a new, more developed and superior species of man. A Homo Novus if you will. It's sad to think that there might only be two of us in the world.

Amy Farrah Fowler

Yes, which is why I have a proposal for you.

Sheldon Lee Cooper

Go on.

Amy Farrah Fowler

Like how endangered animals such as giant pandas and western tragopans are isolated in a wildlife preserve to mate and multiply, I suggest for us to procreate. But in petri dishes. No physical contact.

Sheldon stared at the screen in disbelief.

Really Amy? You want to procreate?

Amy Farrah Fowler

Think about it. In this world ridden with poverty, terrorism and global economic collapse, doesn't mankind deserve leaders that could rescue them from their tragic destiny? Our progenies could become benign overlords that could lead man to a brighter tomorrow.

Sheldon was the kind of person who was set in his ways. He doesn't easily sway his judgments nor does his thoughts simply change by mere suggestion, but if it was her, somehow, everything she stated made perfect sense.

Sheldon Lee Cooper

I must say Amy, that's a very appealing suggestion!

Of course, it wasn't such an appealing suggestion to his comrades, especially to the blonde who choked on her water upon the mention of his planned proliferation with a woman he has only known for four months.

It was approximately 122 days since Sheldon met her. The day they met was comparable to how Sheldon felt when Zachary Quinto took over the role as Spock, replacing Leonard Nimoy in the revival of the Star Trek movie. What was initially an undesirable and disdainful meeting turned into a delightful and interesting encounter.

On the day of their encounter, Sheldon sat in the passenger seat as he ranted about how the whole expedition was a big waste of time. His two companions had, unbeknownst to him, signed him up in an online dating site for their childish amusement. He was not interested in dating nor did he believe that a bunch of poppycock algorithms could quantify his compatibility with a female. He has always believed he was above these types of social conventions. Dating requires talking, listening to another individual and pretending to be interested in their topic of conversation as well as unnecessary amounts of touching and germ-infested saliva exchange; none of which he enjoyed. He could not comprehend why his friends were so absorbed in it. It was unhygienic, chaotic and just plain icky.

He found it ironic that he had to forgo such an unsanitary experience to get rid of an equally unsanitary sock strategically hidden within the confines of his apartment by his Indian 'friend'. Touching was not really part of the deal, but he was horrified with the notion that his 'date' might get ideas.

His plan was short and simple. He was going to inform his date of his predicament and his disinterest in any physical contact but he will commit to the agreement to waste an hour of his time with her. No more, no less. Once this rendezvous was over, Raj would get rid of that doggone sock and his life would get back on track.

Sheldon's meeting with the green-eyed brunette from Glendale was nothing short of peculiar. He was talking animatedly with his so-called 'comrades' when she went up to him and introduced herself. Amy Farrah Fowler was her name. She was not one of those bodacious, promiscuous, ditzy types he expected to meet in these exploits. Though she was not what others would think to be attractive, he thought that she looked extremely well-groomed and proper.

He immediately told her of the circumstances and almost sympathetically apologized about her gullibility to the dating website. What came next was something that he didn't quite anticipate. She talked in the same rhythm and intellectual finesse as he did. He had deduced that she was no ordinary woman, and was not as low-minded as he had had himself to believe. It made him curious as to why someone as knowledgeable as herself had gotten into something so trivial as dating. He later learned that she was in quite the same quandary, except she was being forced by her mother and had an agreement to date once a year, just like how he was forced to go to church annually.

Only a minute had passed and the girl already had his curiosity. A minute more and she had his attention, for what she said had knocked down all his expectations of this expedition. She denounced all forms of physical contact up to and including coitus. He didn't realize it immediately, but he had started staring in bewilderment and awe at the girl standing before him. The next few words out of his mouth were words he never expected to say.

"May I buy you a beverage?"

"Tepid water, please."

And it all started from there. Two hours and an exchange of numbers later, it became almost impossible for a day to pass without Sheldon uttering the word 'Amy.'

Author's Note: Just in case any of you were interested in the article Sheldon was talking about in the beginning, I'd really like to post the link but fanfiction won't let me. Just google this instead:


Reviews inspire me to write~!

~October 25, 2013~ (my birthday~!)

Remade: ~July 31, 2013~

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It just wasn't enough for these people. They just had to call THAT person over to the apartment without his knowledge.