Parth The Tenth,

The End Daze

And it came to pass that in the Season finale of SH:S1 that Ichabod declared his insistence on new old-fashioned clothes, and didst find a good drycleaner whose rates were not unreasonableth. And that wast good.

Then all hell did break loose.

Andy the perpetually smitten didst try to warm Abbie, of the Badass Heels, that Moloch didst have an HR meeting of epic proportions and stuff wast abouteth to go downth, and then didst ramble like a teenager about how no one loveth Abbie like he didst and didst creepth her out.

Lo! Frank Irving, he of the newly resolved domestic bliss, whose guns are scrummy in thy site, didst take the murder rap for his daughter, who didst off a priest whist possessed by a demon. And he didst hand over his gun and didst get taken away in shame.

And thus, Jenny Mills and Abbie didst resolve their last issues of trust, and didst hug and pass the Beschel Test without breaking a sweat. Sayth Jenny, 'I am of unsound mind and am armed to the teeth" which is kind of reassuringeth.

And thus, Ichabod and Abbie didst travel to purgatory to find Katrina, whose kewl witchy powers wast for to prevent the Apocalypse Thus Abbie decided to hang out in that nasty place, allowing much angst to floweth between her and St. Ichabod, and the fandom did squee softly as Katrine dist toss a bit of shade her way.

And Jenny didst seek saintly clues, and dist find one, and didst frantically call Abbie, alas but cell signal lacketh in Purgatory! The Horseman didst ride his majestic Demon Pony, shooteth out her tire and dist cause Jenny to flip her SUV, yea verily!

And Abbie, of the Not Takingeth DemonShit No More, didst attack Moloch on with her bling of Badass, and didst find sanctuary with her younger self, who clearly took vague dialogue lessons from Katrina. Whateth is uppeth with Thateth?

But then St. Ichabod and Katrina didst returneth from purgatory, only to find their long lost son, Jeremy, the Really Pissed Off - had serious control issues with his "Rents, and he dist give over Mommy Dearest to the Horseman, who didst ride off with her, causing Ichabod much upset and a threat of grounding, until Jeremy didst bury St. Ichabod in a grave.

And the internet didst explodeth.

Lettest me sum uppeth. Ichabod's most beloved friend is thy A Horseman of Death, now shacking up with his main squeezeth, and his own son is the Horseman of War and liketh his new stepdad better.

Will St. Ichabod calleth Maury or, alas! Dr. Phil? Stay tuneth!