Oh my dear goodness, this is absolutely horrid. I know I can do better than this and I want to make you guys cry because that is my speciality, but I'm just not feeling too eloquent right now. Also, I said I was going to post this yesterday so I'm sorry I'm late. I don't even have an excuse anymore. Anyways, I hope you enjoy the first in what is hopefully a long list of oneshots about Fitzsimmons. Please review when you're finished!
Disclaimer: I don't own Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. or Marvel. I really want to though.
When Coulson was recruiting the two of them, he'd said that there was going to be a lot of pressure, a lot of time constraints that had things to do with people's lives. He warned them that they were going to be the line between life and death without having to take a bullet for anyone. Probably.
So after what he'd said, he found himself disappointed that the two of them were constantly caught in the middle of crossfires, ones between them and their assailants. Neither were thrilled at the thought of getting shot at and dying; it wasn't what either of them had in mind when they signed up for the job.
Yet, a part of him already knew that stuff like that was eventually going to occur when she'd convinced him to join her upon entry into the field. There was something about the thrill and the danger that attracted her and he supposed that such enthusiasm was not only infectious, but also simply too difficult for him to resist.
"Could you move your bloody arse faster Simmons?"
"I'm trying Fitz, but if you let go of my wrist it might be a bit easier."
He could hear her reply over the shots being fired by the five hired hands of the Egyptian warlord that sent them and shots that May countered using the two pistols in her hands. Even with her comment, he refused to let her go. He clung onto her even tighter, pulling her as he ran as fast his legs could take him.
The sound of blood pounding in his ears and the pain in his legs reminded him that they were at the very least alive, something he was grateful for. He wanted the two of them to get through another day, another mission. All he wanted was for them to get back there safe and alive.
"Come on you two, catch up!"
"We're trying, Ward! We're not exactly-"
He got cut off by her bloodcurdling scream and he felt his skin crawl at the very sound. May shouted at them to keep moving, but his feet were glued to the spot as he stared at her face, contorted with pain and agony; an expression that sent shivers up his spine.
"Oh my dear Lord." He looked down at her leg and he pushed back both the bile and the tears at the sight of her holding bloody fingers against a spot above her right knee. There was something about it that made his chest constrict, something that made him lose the hope that both of them had been clinging onto.
"Fitz, we can do this!" She put her arm around him for support and he felt a renewed determination, one that just wasn't there before. He knew that he couldn't lose her and all that he could think of as he helped her up the ramp was that he needed her to be safe.
It wasn't just about surviving anymore. It was about her.
"I'm going to be okay Fitz," She said weakly, her eyelids beginning to flutter as the ramp began to go up, shielding them from any remaining bullets. He looked at her face and the tears that escaped her eyes were too much for him to take. "It's going to be alright."
Her eyes closed and he wasn't sure if he screamed or not. The urgency of the situation put out any remaining thoughts in his mind and all he could focus on was her and only her. He carried her and all he could think about was how small she looked in his arms and how her colour was similar to that of porcelain.
And somewhere deep down, he knew that he loved her and he was going to do anything so he wouldn't lose her.
Lucky enough, the bullet wound was only skin deep and nothing too serious. No one dared tell that to him, they didn't want him to lash out. He was a bundle of nerves and there was nothing anyone could do about it. They'd always relied on Simmons as to keep the balance, to keep him together.
Everyone stood around her bed, except for May who was flying the bus and him who sat by her bedside, holding her hand as he stared at her face. When he looked at her, none of his thoughts were clear or coherent. He couldn't think of anything but how she was still under.
"She's going to be alright Fitz."
"Don't tell me she's going to be alright Skye." He growled at her. No one had ever seen him that way, so feral and almost angry at the entire world. "I'm not going to believe that she's going to be alright until she says something to me, until she tells me that she's going to be alright."
He drew lazy patterns on her hand with his thumb while thinking about how unbelivably important she really was to him. They never really thought about how attached they would become when S.H.I.E.L.D. put them together, but they did despite major diffences.
His life was one neverending equation filled with variables and missing an answer. She was the only constant in that equation and he was never going to let her go. She was the crust of the sun, a part of everything that his complicated world had been revolving around for so long.
When she'd pushed him to join her in the field, he didn't just do it because he wanted to learn and experience more; he did it so that they wouldn't be pulled apart. They were more than just best mates, they were completely attached. It was a companionship that rivaled every other.
"Fitz, we've done everything we can to help her and she's going to be alright. Calm down." Coulson spoke in a fatherly voice, a reassuring one. He knew that she was going to be okay, but every time he looked at her, he could just feel something gnawing away at him.
"I know. I just don't want to see her like this ever again."
He brushed a strand of hair out of her face and he saw her stir. He breathed out a smile of relief and cracked the first smile since the mission in Egypt began. Oblivious to how she would feel since she was already half awake, he pressed a light kiss to her forehead.
The sight of her rapidly blinking her eyelids made him breathe out a sigh of relief. He squeezed her hand and she smiled, knowing that she was never going to be alone. "You're okay now, Jemma." He said to her before brushing yet another strand of hair from her face.
"What's everyone standing around here for?"
"Well, we were kind of concerned about you and Fitz too. He was hysterical after we got you patched up." Skye replied and he looked down at the floor. He'd been hoping that no one would tell her that litte detail just so that he wouldn't have to expalin himself.
"If you don't mind guys, I'd like to speak to her alone." He said and Coulson gave a nod of understanding. Skye placed a hand on his shoulder and smiled at him, her eyes saying, "You can do this Fitz."
When Ward closed the door behind him, he stopped holding back the tears in his eyes and began to cry softly. He put her hand to his lips, glad that he was not dreaming. He could not hold back the feeling of relief; she was alive and nothing mattered to him more.
"I think that's the most scared I've ever been in my entire life." He admitted to her and she smiled at him, a gentle one that reached her eyes. "I've never been so afraid of losing anyone in my life. And I never thought that I'd ever have to face losing you."
"You weren't going to lose me."
"But what if I did?" She stared back at him and he kissed her hand again. "I literally can't think of life without you because I practically live in the lab and I don't think I'd make it one day without you standing there beside me, reminding me that I need to sleep and breathe."
"So you're finally admitting that you need me?" A smirk graced her lips and he leaned forward.
"No," He looked at her with eyes that just said it all. "I'm admitting a lot more."
And when he kissed her, she just knew she need him too.