A/N: Okay I usually hate these kinds of fics, the so called 'future fics' but I had this idea and I just had to get it out there. So uhm yea, here is the first chapter of my Gail/Holly story. I hope you guys like it. This could function as a one-shot, but if I get a lot of positive feedback, I might consider turning this into a multi-chapter fic. So, if you'd like to read more, show your love by leaving a review.
English is not my first language, and therefore all mistakes are mine. I'd like to thank my beta agecarbo for helping me improve my story!
Tumblr: gailpeckholly - Twitter: gleesavedme
Disclaimer: I don't own the show, nor its characters. All television shows, movies, books or other copyright material referred to in this work and the characters, setting and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners.
Not Like You've Been Counting
Slowly opening your eyes, you groan. There is way too much light coming through the still closed curtains for your liking. On days like this, it kind of makes you miss your old, dark room. The one you had years ago, before you had met Holly, the love of your life, who loves to wake up when the first stripes of sunlight hit your room. And, even though this kind of waking up is way too bright for your liking, you still agreed on buying light curtains because you love Holly. You love Holly more than you love waking up in a dark room. So, you gave her what she wanted without complaining. Okay, without complaining too much about it.
Reaching over to the left side, her side, of the bed, your hand found emptiness rather than the one person you wanted. You're groaning again because waking up is not the best part of your day, but waking up without her makes it even worse. You love to wake up next to her. It makes your day better from the minute you open your eyes and see her peacefully laying next to you. You decide to get up and go look for the one person who makes your morning crankiness go away in only a few seconds.
You roll out of your warm, comfortable bed. A bed oh so comfortable, but without Holly, without her perfect, warm body curled around you, it's just that, a bed. Not bothering to put on a robe, you grab an old shirt from the floor and pull it over your head. You leave your legs bare with only your panties on, before making your way out of the bedroom.
"Hol?" You ask in a sleepy voice as a yawn escapes your mouth. It's way too early for a Sunday morning, but you continue to walk through your two-bedroom apartment searching for your girl. Checking out Holly's empty office before making your way to the kitchen, which is on the opposite of the apartment.
Calling out her name one more time before you walk into the room. Your beautiful wife is standing in front of the kitchen counter facing away from the doorway. Turing her head for a brief second to greet you, before returning back to making some coffee, something she started before you interrupted. Suddenly, the lack of contact is bothering you, so you walk over to the sink allowing you to press your body against Holly's back eliminating the offending space between you.
"Hey you," you say as you place a gently kiss on Holly's bare shoulder. You love it when she wears that shirt that constantly slides off her shoulders. Taking in her attire, you're pleased to see that she is not wearing many clothes either because if it's up to you, you will have her back in bed wearing even less soon. Letting your hands rest tightly around her, you couldn't help but place another kiss on her shoulder. She immediately reacts to the soft touch of your pink lips on her shoulder. Your hands travel a little further, ending up on the small bump that is starting to form on her stomach.
"It's not gonna be long until you really start to show," you say, the words muffled since your mouth is still moving against Holly's shoulder. Even though her back is facing you, you can still tell she is smiling. You can't help but smile, too.
"I know," she says, so soft it's almost a whisper. Since the two of you are standing extremely close, you feel her turning around in your arms. Her back now pressed against the counter, her hands quickly reach for your face as she plants a soft, tender kiss on your lips.
You still don't know how she did it. You still don't know how she talked you into having a baby with her. You mean, yeah, you know how to deal with children that are in danger on the job. Yes, you are good with Holly's niece Zoya and you love gaming with Leo. But, that doesn't make you a good mom. Maybe that's what scares you the most. That you won't be a good mother for to your own baby. The fear is kind of understandable given that you didn't really have the best example of a mother when you were growing up. Your mother wasn't one of those mothers that would bake cookies with you on a Sunday morning. She wasn't one of those mothers that would take you to the playground, or out for ice cream. Hell, she didn't even attend your wedding, which still pissed you off. You hadn't expected her to come since the two of you have hardly spoken after telling her about you and Holly a little over four years ago. She wasn't supportive about your relationship at all, explaining that you were always welcome in her home as long as you left "that girlfriend of yours" at home. You were a Peck, and it had been ridiculous of you to think that a Peck, especially one with your family's reputation, could start a relationship with someone of the same-sex.
You had hoped that her opinion would have changed over the years. That she would accept you for who you are, no matter what, but it was a lost case. Your mother was a woman who only cared about one thing - her own reputation.
That day had been the last time you had spoken to her in private. You told her she could have the both of you in her life or not have you at all. You hated how she looked unaffected by your words, giving you that stare that said it all; she wanted you to leave her house, and so you did. The saddest part about all this was that your father always chose your mother's side. You knew he wasn't strong enough to stand up to her, and saying goodbye to your mother meant also saying goodbye to him. It had made you very upset, and you cried in Holly's arms for several days. You had always been daddy's little girl.
Even though you weren't welcome at their house anymore, your mother had tried to speak to you during several work occasions. Things like "So, when this ridiculous phase going to be over Gail?" or "A friend of mine has this wonderful son" were the only kinds of conversation she was willing to have with you, making you even more upset. You had just come to accept the fact that you had lost both of your parents, and here your mother was, trying to make you live the life she had planned out for you.
Your dad had spoken to you once. You ran into him accidentally at Steve's house. You and Holly had been there to babysit Leo, who was nine at the time, when the doorbell rang. When you opened the door to him standing there, you had been completely frozen in your spot, not knowing what to do. You mumbled a quick hello trying to create an emergency situation to get out of here. He asked you if Steve was home. You told him that Traci and Steve were out doing their Christmas shopping while you and Holly watched Leo. He said he would come back later, and you asked if he wanted to leave a message for them. Telling you it wasn't necessary he turned to walk away. You were about to close the door when you heard your name.
"Gail?" Pulling the door back open, you found your dad staring at you. "Yeah?"
"Does she make you happy?" He asked in a calm and gentle voice.
"You mean Holly?" He nodded. You had to take a moment and let the question hit you. "Yeah. Yes, she does." You had looked at him questioningly. He smiled at you and he started to walk away again.
"Just stay happy Gail." And that had been all you needed to hear for years. When you closed the door, tears in your eyes, you saw Holly standing in the hallway.
"You okay?" She had asked looking concerned. A tear glided down your cheek as you nodded, and Holly's arms quickly wrapped around you.
"You have no idea."
Your parents weren't horrible persons. Your mother wasn't a horrible woman, but your mother wasn't an easy person either. For years, you had wished to have a normal mother. One who would bake stupid cookies with you on Sunday mornings, or at least one that would be home on your birthday. But no, your mother would rather work than celebrate your sixth birthday. Sometimes, it really hurt to have a mother like yours; especially on days like the day your father had spoken to you for the first time in months. She had made your life a living hell from the day you had been born, and you didn't understand why she enjoyed to see you in so much pain. You didn't understand why she could not love you for the person you were. You just didn't understand any of it, and it made you scared. Scared that once you'd be a mother yourself, you would turn out to be exactly like her. And that was the last thing you wanted.
So yeah, maybe you thought you weren't cut out to be a mom. But Holly, Holly would be a great mom. After many nights of discussion, after many arguments where Holly tried to explain to you over and over again that you were not your mother, after every awful thing you saw happen to children on your job, Holly reminded you that didn't automatically mean that your baby would be one of them. You'll never forget the look in her eyes when she told you that the two of you could do this, together. But you were scared, so you had brushed it off.
After a while Holly had stopped bringing the subject up. She knew not to push you, so she didn't because she loved you. You both had realized that the fights about whether the two of you would have a baby or not weren't worth it anymore. They brought a lot of tension to your relationship, and the last thing either of you wanted was to lose the other. She loved you. She loved you so much that she was willing to forget becoming a mother if it meant staying with you. You hated yourself for it. You hated yourself for giving up on Holly's dream so easily. Maybe that's why you couldn't stop thinking about it. Suddenly, you started seeing babies and pregnant woman everywhere. It was so overwhelming, but confronting at the same time. Confronting that you and Holly may never have a family together. You had spent the day at the zoo with Zoya, and you didn't want to admit it, but you loved how the three-year-old had insisted on holding both of your hands, even if that meant that you weren't able to hold Holly's yourself. You loved the way she called you "Auntie Ail" all day since she wasn't able to pronounce the G properly yet. You loved how she dragged you from the elephants back to the lions all excited talking about how she wanted to draw a lion when she got back home.
Old Gail would have hated to admit it, but you had loved spending time with the little girl and Holly. You remember how both of the Stewart girls smiled all day and how the expression of pure joy wouldn't leave their face for hours. You couldn't help but get that special tingling feeling in your abdomen as you had watched the two girls bond over some pancakes.
But, the best part of the day had been dropping Zoya off at home again. Not because you were finally released from the exhaustion a three-year-old brought. No, because of the big hug and wet sloppy kiss she gave you when she said her goodbyes. When you saw Holly with pure adoration smiling at you, you couldn't help but smile, too. The Stewart girls just had that effect on you.
Even though Holly hadn't brought up the baby thing for months, you hadn't stopped thinking about it. As time went by, you got more and more excited about the idea of having a little bubble of joy who would look exactly like Holly in your life. So after that day where you took Zoya to the zoo, lying in bed with Holly exhausted by the intense day, you had brought it back up.
"We should just do it," you said breaking the comfortable silence. Holly looked up from her book, glasses on the top of her nose, hair all over the place from your earlier make out session.
"What?" She asked, making a confused look that you will never forget. Oh God, could she get even more adorable?
"Let's have a baby together," you stated. Sitting up straighter and putting her book on the nightstand beside the bed, she looked at you with that serious look she used when she was unsure if people were actually being serious.
"Gail," she sighed. "It's not funny to joke with people like that." This time it was you who sighed. You weren't joking. You were dead serious, and you both knew it. Something in Holly just refused to believe that you were. You couldn't blame her. For months, you had told her that you didn't want to become a mother, and now, here you were trying to talk her into having a baby with you. Holly didn't know that in the months the two of you hadn't talked about this, the thought of having a baby with Holly continued to grow, the image never leaving your mind.
You had looked at her, willing her to see just how much you wanted this. You wanted to show her that you were ready for this, and that if you'd ever do this, you would want to do it with her.
"I'm serious Hol. I really am." You could see the sparkle in her eyes getting bigger as you continued speaking.
"What changed?" She asked, not giving anything away.
You looked away, unsure of where to look. "I just-I always thought I wasn't cut out to be a mom, but you, you'll be a great mom. Today with Zoya, I just- I had so much fun. I want days like that all the time you know. I want days like that for us with our own child because-"
Holly's lips were pressing against your own, cutting off the rest of the words you planned to say.
After she had pulled away, you picked up from where you left off. "If I ever want to have a baby, I want to have one with you. I love you so much Holly Stewart. And I can't - No, I refuse to live my life without you and our ten babies." You saw her left eyebrow rise.
"Ten huh?" As Holly's smirk grew into a glowing smile, you could feel your cheeks flushing. Stupid, stupid pale skin.
"Oh stop it, you know what I mean." You had said as you rolled your eyes.
"You really are being serious, aren't you?"
You nodded. "Yeah, let's do this, you and me." Before you could say more, Holly interrupted you once again by placing her lips on yours.
When she had pulled back, she had said the last words you expected her to say. "Marry me."
You wanted to say yes, more than anything. You wanted to scream yes from the top of your lungs, but it was all so overwhelming, and all of suddenly, you had forgotten how to form words. So, you did the only thing you thought you were still able to do as tears were starting to from in your eyes. You leaned in, whispering a soft "Yes" as you silenced her with your lips.
"Gail? Earth to Gail." You hear Holly say, her hand waving in front of your face. You dozed off again. It happened more often lately. Since you had met Holly, all of sudden you had so much stuff to think about. Stuff like the future or like perfect little moments you had shared with her that had happened in the past. Whatever it was, Holly made it worth thinking about, so you did a lot of it.
You looked at her, only to find her looking back at you. "Huh what?" You ask as you finally came out of a daze.
"What has got you thinking so hard, babe?" The brunette asks as she handed you a cup of steaming coffee. Right. Coffee. The kitchen. Home. Holly. The baby. It all started to make sense again and dragged you back to the present.
You shrugged your shoulders as you carefully take a sip from your coffee. "Oh, nothing important. Just that I made the best decision in my life seven months and sixteen days ago by marrying the most beautiful woman in this world."
You see her smile grow as she realizes that you know the exact amount of months and days it has been since the two of you had spoken your vows to each other. You glanced at the clock and smiled. If only she knew that you also knew the hours.
She places a quick kiss on your lips. Quick enough that you didn't even have time to respond. "Just drink your coffee Gail. Baby and I will be taking a shower, and you better come join us soon." With that wicked grin of pure pleasure on her face she leaves the room.
You can't help but smile. Here you are, standing half-naked in your kitchen with a steaming cup of coffee, which is still way too hot to drink. Your eyes follow her all the way out. For a moment, her beauty paralyzes you, but then the words 'Holly' and 'shower' start forming, growing bold in your head. You don't know how soon you left the cup of coffee on the kitchen counter as you follow Holly towards the bathroom.
And that's when you knew it for sure. Seven months and sixteen days ago, you had made the best decision of your entire life.
Seven months and sixteen days, not like you've been counting or something.