Murasakibara hates his body. It's too big, makes him stand out in the crowd, even when he's with his teammates. There isn't a day when he wouldn't hit his head, and everything seems too small for him, be it clothes or chairs and tables. He's learned not to move much to avoid knocking things over with his freakishly long limbs, too. Somehow, he always ends up curled in his a few inches too short bed, staring at the ceiling and eating, hungry and impossibly tired, his spine aching from constantly bending to accommodate to the low ceilings and even lower doorways.
He wonders, what Muro likes about him, why, out of all people, would someone as graceful and pretty choose him, a sloth-like creature, huge and intimidating and clumsier than should be humanly possible (though to be fair, Murasakibara bitterly admits, he's not even sure about his own humanity all that much, as people have been calling him a monster since before he can even remember).
Never finding the courage to actually ask, he can only speculate what Muro would answer. Probably something nice and sweet that would make Murasakibara's heart thump a little faster in his chest, but wouldn't make him hate himself any less than he does now.
„You're brooding again, Atsushi." Himuro tears him from his musings, small smile tugging at his lips. Murasakibara slowly turns his head in Muro's general direction and looks at him with half lidded, unfocused eyes. Of course Tatsuya looks good, even in sweatpants, baggy t-shirt and a stained apron tied loosely around his waist. Atsushi feels suddenly even more self-conscious as he is, sprawled across the futon in his pajamas, messy hair half covering his face. „Do you ever plan to get up?" Muro asks then, crouching down, and his hand reaches to gently cup Murasakibara's cheek. „Dinner's gonna be ready soon."
Murasakibara groans and instead of saying anything sneaks one his long arms around Himuro and pulls him down for a kiss. He knows he's probably really gross at the moment and in a need of a shower, but he also wants to feel Muro close, because Tatsuya is always so nicely warm and soft against his chest, like a slightly oversized kitten. It's slow, languid, just like almost all of Murasakibara's movements, but also gentle and loving when Himuro sighs gently and opens his mouth to tangle their tongues together.
„Ten minutes." Muro smiles, pulling away. „If you take too long, I'll eat all the cookies." Murasakibara's eyes brighten at that, there aren't many things better than Tatsuya's homemade cookies. With a small smile he watches his boyfriend's retreating backside, before slowly pulling himself up and shuffling to the bathroom.
He opts for a quick shower-although he loves hot water, there's no way he could enjoy it in the cramped space, bent in obscure angles to fit in, brushes his teeth and even combs his wet hair after. He's glad the mirror is so low he doesn't see his face, the dark circles under his dull eyes or the permanent scowl, looking at it would only feel him ugly, especially after being around his precious Muro for so long.
When he comes out, he puts on clean clothes and heads to the kitchen. Himuro is standing at the stove and Murasakibara takes the chance to hug him from behind, wrapping his arms around Tatsuya's waist tightly. The smaller boy leans against him, and cover's Atsushi's forearms with his hand, his thumb rubbing small circles over the skin.
„Your hair is dripping." Tatsuya mutters when a drop of water lands on his bare collarbone, and Atsushi only rolls his eyes and bends down to lick it. Muro's breath hitches in his throat when Murasakibara grazes him a little with his teeth, too. „And you're too distracting. I'm going to burn the cookies, if you don't let go." Himuro mumbles into Atsushi's ear, and it almost sounds like a purr.
Murasakibara loosens his grip and draws away reluctantly, settling for watching Muro's pretty round bottom when he bends to check the oven.
Atsushi is back to lying on the futon, only this time his Muro is with him, too. They're both still a little sweaty from their earlier lovemaking, and when the cold hair pouring in through the open window caresses their skin, Tatsuya visibly shivers and shifts closer, dragging a blanket over them.
„Atsushi." Muro mumbles, turning his back to Murasakibara. „Warm me up." Like if he needed to ask, Murasakibara thinks, already pulling him flush against his chest, draping an arm and a leg over him. Like that, they fit perfectly together despite their height difference. Sometimes Atsushi thinks he could stay like that forever, with Himuro curled in the cage of his limbs that for once, wouldn't seem too long. During moments like those, he may be even genuinely happy about how huge he is as he can completely wrap himself around Muro's smaller form and somehow protect him from the outside world.
„You're my favorite blanket." Tatsuya mumbles sleepily. He places his hand over Murasakibara's larger one and entwines their fingers.
„Muro tends to say weird things when he's exhausted." Atsushi mutters in response and moves their joined hands to rest on Tatsuya's stomach. His boyfriend laughs quietly. „But I love you, anyways."
„Love you, too." Muro says, genuine smile audible in his voice. Murasakibara gently kisses the crown of his head and with nose buried in his soft, nice smelling hair, closes his eyes. Even though it's hard to understand for him just yet, those words make the painful reality of his own existence a little more bearable.