A/N: thepriceismeg and imtakingoverthisshipjanet requested this a few months back, and with Halloween right around the corner (and a LONG overdue promise to write this, but work training provides plenty of time to think) I figured now is a good time for this little story. Jane as James Bond and Maura as a femme fatale/Bond girl/mixture of the both because why not? So how about some role-playing fun too, hmm? Beware: Purposely bad dialogue ahead. Most of which will not be mine, but be from about six different James Bond movies. Also, may be skirting into M territory, so be aware of that. BONUS: 'Clink' is a real bar in Boston (that I WILL GO TO SOME DAY I SWEAR TO GOD) and yes, it looks totally awesome. Go to the website. Look at the pictures. You won't regret it. I'm sure the BPD would NEVER throw a party there, but wouldn't it be the BEST PLACE EVER?! Someone call 911 and tell them to get on planning that. Also this is supposed to be at a Halloween party, but that is neither here nor there because that is a meaningless plot device that I'm not going to expand on because who has time for that? Smut doesn't. Smut has no time for that.

It was tight.

So deliciously skin tight and Jane couldn't take her eyes off of it. It fit her friend like a glove and it made Jane pull on the collar of her shirt. Her bow tie is growing snug and confining around her neck. The air around her feels like someone turned the thermostat up. She hadn't gotten a good look in the dark, but now in the light by the bar Jane can see every curve and dip of Maura.

Taking a long draw from her beer bottle, Jane wills herself to look somewhere, anywhere else. But when she does it seems that everyone's eyes around them somehow keep stealing glances at Maura and the all black, leather cat suit she must have had painted on her body because Jane can't fathom any other way she could have shimmied into it.

Unless she was completely naked.

'Goddamnit.' Jane's fingers flex around her bottle and she stares at the ceiling as she downs the last of her beer. She turns and leans against the edge of the bar. Her hands encircle the empty bottle and she absently picks at the label.

"Many consider that a sign of sexual frustration." Maura's hand rests gently on Jane's shoulder. Jane groans and rolls her eyes as she looks at her friend and immediately registers the mischievous glint in her eye.

"Says you." Jane grumbles.

"Says many." Maura counters as she waves at the bartender; "How about something different tonight? You look far too handsome to have a beer in your hand."

Maura gently pulls back on Jane's shoulder; squaring them so that they are facing each other; "A martini perhaps?"

Maura's fingers trail across Jane's shoulder and down the lapel of her tux jacket and it's all a cruel joke mixed along with the two glasses of wine Maura has already had. But Jane can't help the sharp breath of air she takes in when Maura steps in and closes their distance before leaning around her and picking up the tent bar menu from behind her, leaving her other hand to lazily trail down the front of Jane's jacket with gentle, but purposeful plucks of each button.

"Would you like a potion no. 1 or-..." the corner of Maura's mouth curls into a smirk as she steps back and reads the menu; "or a french kiss?"

"You're kidding me."

Maura quirks an eyebrow; "About the kiss? No."

Jane's smirk almost crosses a line of arrogance.

"Is this the part where I say I want it shaken, not stirred?"

"Only if you're willing to play the part." Maura sets the menu back on the bar.

"You want me to talk in a bad English accent?" Jane says as she turns and taps her palm on the bar and nods her attention towards the bartender.

Maura scrunches her nose; "Do I need to talk in a bad, Russian accent?"

A low laugh rumbles in the back of Jane's throat as she shakes her head; "No accents." She waves her hand loosely as the bartender approaches them.

"Two french kiss martini's." Jane looks over her shoulder and gives Maura a quick wink; "Shaken, not stirred."

The bartender rolls his eyes and Jane straightens up and raises her hands as he turns to start on their drinks.


People have begun to disappear. Some upstairs to hotel rooms and other's have stumbled out into taxi's.

Frost, Korsak and Frankie have started a horrible rendition of the 'Monster Mash' at the bar.

And Maura can't place how long ago her and Jane found themselves inside the restaurant, or how many more ridiculously named drinks they shared at a table tucked in a corner against an old cell, but in that time Jane's chair has moved slowly around the table; invading her space, much like Jane's hand had on her knee, only it has progressed higher and her fingers absently draw abstract shapes over the leather of her thigh.

"Perhaps we should call a taxi."

Jane shrugs as she brings her glass to her lips and finishes the last of her drink; "Or we could get a room."

The cadence in Jane's voice is low and Maura can hear what it is there.


"What should I say to an invitation from a strange gentlemen?"

Jane sits back in her chair and Maura immediately misses the warmth of her hands.

"I don't see any gentlemen here." Jane looks over her shoulder and then leans in over the table as her hand finds its place back on Maura's thigh giving it a light squeeze; "Actually, I don't see anyone."

Maura uncrosses her legs and Jane sits back, her hand quickly finding the other as they fold neatly into her lap. Her eyes dart around the restaurant as she internally berates herself for bounding over their invisible line in the sand.

"Mr. Bond, are you propositioning me?"

Relief replaces anxiety and mixes with excitement. A quick smile breaks across Jane face before she clears her throat and cooly leans into Maura; her lips close to her ear.

"I assure you, my intentions are strictly honorable."

And they way every word drops out of Jane's mouth tells Maura completely the opposite is true. She leans back and meets dark eyes with her own. She can feel Jane's breath mingle with hers and the vodka soaked parts of her brain fire signals to kiss the suave woman in front of her, but she wills every fiber of self control she has.

"What should I say?"

"You should say yes." Jane husks.

"I should say maybe." Maura licks her lips and she watches Jane's eyes follow the trail of her tongue and as Jane moves to close the small distance between them, Maura stands.

Jane's tongue clucks against the roof of her mouth as she looks up at Maura with a smile. A small, exasperated sigh escapes her and Maura offers her hand. Taking it, Jane stands quickly and takes a confident step forward, backing Maura against the bars behind her. Jane's hands grip at bars at her shoulder and waist, locking Maura in place as she leans in, allowing the tip of her nose to graze over a soft cheek before resting her own flush against Maura's.

"What do you think they'll do with us if we get caught?" Maura whispers as her hands ghost down Jane's sides and stop at her belt. Teeth graze gently across Maura's earlobe before being pulled between warm lips.

"No idea. Maybe they'll throw us in here." Jane drums her fingers against the bars in an incessant clinkclinkclink as she presses her body against the smaller one in front of her; her leg slipping between smooth thighs. "With no door handles or windows."

"Prison, then."

Jane nods and her lips move against Maura's ear; "Mink lined, with first class service."

Maura steals a glance over Jane's shoulder, and with not a soul in sight she pulls on Jane's belt; unfastening it and slips her hand down the front of her slacks. Her fingers find clothed, wet, warmth that she pushes aside. She runs the length of Jane and dips into warmth causing a shiver to run through the taller woman as she begins slow circles.

"Oh my god." Jane breaths out as her head falls to Maura's shoulder; "Do you expect me to talk?"

Maura smiles and she can feel Jane's forearms tense when she grips the bars tighter as her ministrations quicken and then slow.

"No, Mr. Bond. I expect you to die."

Jane raises her head and nods as her lips brush against Maura's; "Okay, cause you're killing me." she says before stealing a bruising kiss. Teeth, lips and tongue meet. It is wanton and long overdue.

Pulling back from the kiss, Maura's fingers slip lower and stop. Jane's hips roll forward in a desperate attempt to pull her in.

To fill her.

"You were saying about a room?"

Jane's eyes grow wide for a moment. She lets go of the bar at Maura's hip and fishing into her pocket produces the small key card. Taking a side step, Maura extracts herself from Jane who can't believe it. Her head falls forward and rests against the bars as she begins fixing her belt.

Turning, her eyes rake over Maura's form and she adjusts her jacket as she takes a step forward; "Is this how we are playing?"

Maura only nods as she attempts to take the key card from Jane's hand, which quickly disappears behind her back as her other hand moves around Maura's waist and pulls the small woman into her; "Well, well, well Miss Von Furtrappé, where do you hide your brass knuckles in that outfit?"

Maura narrows her eyes; "That's my name?"

"Oh, that's your name." Jane says in a low tone with a wink.

Maura considers for a moment before falling back into character; "Oh, I never carry weapons after business hours." her arms encircle Jane's waist and she slips the card from her hand and takes a step back before turning and making her way out of the restaurant.

"None at all?"

Maura shoots a friendly smile over her shoulder as Jane begins to follow; "I'm completely defenseless."

Jane worries her lip between her teeth as she quickens her pace catch up. Her hand finds the smooth, small of Maura's back.

"So am I."