Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot line; the characters belong to S Meyer. All lyrics belong to their respective writers/artists.
AN: This is about a month after the last chapter.
I am so tired. I have no energy anymore, I'm running on empty, I gave it all to you and you just took, took, took it from me and now I'm hollow and I am so tired. And you're so angry, ever since Alice took off for her happily ever after that she never got because you took that from her too. You're this massive black hole of selfishness and you take, take, take until you've hollowed out a person and they're left scraped red raw and clinging to their soul with the tips of their fingers but you want that to don't you. Well I'm telling you Edward, you can't have mine.
My bags are packed waiting for me to take them to somewhere warmer than here and I'm waiting beside them for you because I won't make Alice's mistake. If I run you will chase me and we all know how that turns out don't we love. In death and pain and screaming and anger, so much anger, and I am so tired of it and you.
The night after you, you left her at home, guarded by Emmett of course because she'll never be left alone again, and raced over to me but you forgot to leave your anger with her. You burst through my door with such a bang I thought for sure you'd kicked it in with explosives attached to your feet. And you just stood there for a moment scanning my tiny little apartment for me like the predator scanned for Arnie and your eyes were so black and empty. But then you found me, waiting patiently and lovingly for you in case you needed to talk about how relieved you were that you'd found your children but no, talking was the last thing you wanted to do. It only took you four big, hard, angry steps and you were there in front of me pulling me up and against you with no words from your lips, no hello love no I'm sorry I keep you waiting. There was nothing but anger, I'd never felt anger from your lips before.
And then we were moving, and my back was slammed against the wall and you push, push, pushed your hips in to me. Hands pinned above my head in one of yours while the other pressed and squeezed once loving fingers in to my ass, the only way my legs stayed wrapped around you was because you were pressed so hard against me. You bite and pinch and nip and my body responded and I lost my mind it felt so good. I panted and moaned against your biting kisses and I rocked against your dick as you slammed in to me harder and deeper and faster until I exploded. And then you sunk your teeth in to my jaw, pressed in to me as far as you could and it was over.
But that's all I've felt since, anger and rough touches, and it's drained me. Nothing but anger can dull a soul, they need love and light to survive and there's none of that left here. Instead of loving caresses there's hard bruise leaving squeezes, instead of tender hand holding there's hands above head pinned down, instead of words whispered against soft loving lips there's fuck, fuck, fuck and that's what we do now. We fuck, and I am so tired.
And I often sit and wonder why you're not with me tonight, you're with her and I stayed at home remaining true but then I remember Jasper and yeah, that's why I stayed at home. I'm not sure how Alice can stand it; the guilt must be eating away at her. It would eat away at me, I'm so glad I never got anyone else involved but then if I'd been in Alice's position I would have chased after my happy ever after with whoever was offering it. I thought you were my happy ever after; I guess women aren't always right.
I hear the key in the lock and you're here and my heart tries to jump out of my mouth and it pumps adrenaline through my body making my beats skip and dip so much I feel dizzy. I clench the locket with my mother's picture inside harder in my fist and I can almost hear her whispering words of strength and love. I can do this, I chant it over and over and then you're standing in front of me with that cocky smirk on your lying lips and a glint in your eye as you look between me and my bags. This is it; I take a deep breath,
"The time has come to say goodbye and I know it's gonna make you cry, but you belong to another my love and half a love, that just isn't enough. I am so tired and I just can't wait around for you, I've waited all this time for you and I always thought we'd see it through but I am so tired and the time has come to say goodbye."
The smirk falls from your lips and is replaced with a cruel grimace, your eyes turn black and empty, your back stiffens and your fists clench. I want to take a step back but I'm right up against the bed, I have nowhere to go, I try and reason with you,
"Edwar-" I don't even get your full name out before you've silenced me with a back hand to the face. It's so hard it knocks me stupid and when I open my eyes I seem to have rolled off of the bed. I must have blacked out and my hearing starts to filter in and it's chaos. You're destroying my apartment, there's not one ornament or photo frame that I own that you haven't thrown against a wall or stamped on if it didn't break. And now you've started with my furniture, I've never seen your temper like this before and I'm starting to wish I had one of Alice's guards for my protection.
Protection, it hits me like one of your fists but instead of knocking me stupid it gives me clarity. I reach in to the bedside cabinet, never taking my eyes off of you, and I reach in and grasp the cool hard metal of the weapon you gave me. The weapon you gave me so I could protect myself, we never imagined it would be you I needed protecting from though did we love. I check it's loaded and click the safety to the position that will turn me in to a murderer and I stand with white noise desperation bravery steadying my legs.
I don't call your name or draw attention to myself, you have your back turned to me and I've never fired a gun before so I need all the advantage I can get. I move in to the door way and you're in my sight and I don't think I just squeeze.
The shot's loud and it startles me so much I almost drop the gun but it startles you more and you lurch forward in to the wall. I got you in the shoulder, nowhere vital, and you turn to me with a look of utter disbelief on your pretty face. One look in your eyes jolts me out of my shock and I fire again, getting you in the stomach. Maybe when this is over I'll go to the range for some target practice. You double over and take one shaky step towards me and I fire again, this time I hit the money shot and your brain paints pretty pictures over my walls. Guess I'm not getting my deposit back.
Everything kind of flashes in and out for a while, when I stop seeing everything like I'm at a 90's rave I'm sitting on my bed with my bags at my feet. I'm not sure how long I've been sitting here but it can't have been that long because I don't hear sirens and surely someone's called the policy by now? The thought of the police kicks my butt in to gear and I pick up my bags and head for the door. I see your body out of the corner of my eye and I don't think I just do it; I take my phone out and take a picture. I send it to Alice, I hope this makes us even now, maybe she'll get her happy ever after after all. And then I walk out of my door and this nightmare that has been my life and hopefully in to my happy ever after.
AN Thank you so much to everyone who has read, reviewed and added this to their lists, it has meant so much to me. Until next time.