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Disclamier: This is a fanfic based on the character's and story line of Grey's Anatomy. All right to Shonda Rhimes.

Special thanks to my friend Maria, who does more than edit, but bounces ideas with me.

Happy reading!


It was past midnight when the hospital paged, either really late or ridiculously early; depending on the person. Jackson hated being called in when he was already sound asleep, but it was the life of a surgeon. It was a 911, which he found strange given the fact that he hadn't had any patients, too busy planning the Gala. He, of course, still got up waking up a very naked Stephanie next to him. "Jackson..?" she said still half as sleep.

"I got paged 911. You keep sleeping. I'll see you later," he said leaning in for a kiss. He pecked her lips, got dressed and headed to the hospital where he was greeted by Meredith and Alex. "Are you guys here just…waiting for me?" Jackson tilting his head with curiosity as they headed towards the attending's lounge.

"Yeah man, it's nothing, just change and we'll take you to the patient," Alex said rubbing his head. The subtle act of nerves made it clear he was hiding something. Tonight, Jackson was too tired to try to pull it out of him.

Jackson changed into his scrubs and they lead him to a trauma room. He was about to walk in when both Meredith and Alex got stepped into his line of sight. "Before you go in, you have to know that we called you because you are the best plastic fellow and we trust you. Dr. Hunt didn't want you to deal with the patient but we promised him that you would keep it together, so please…." Meredith pleaded. Jackson could not imagine what would make him lose his cool so he just nodded and they entered the room. It was chaotic, as he expected. Jackson made quick work of taking new gloves and sliding them on.

"What do we got?" he asked as he walked towards the patient and suddenly felt cold. The kind of cold that comes from the inside out, the kind of cold you only feel when you fear for your life; when you feel like the world is ending. That kind of cold that takes normally collected man over completely. "A-April," he managed to blurt out. He took notice of her pink dress that was ripped, caked in dirt and bloody. Her angelic face was bruised and cut, and now all he felt was rage...Pure rage, his nostrils flared up angrily. If he could get his hands on the ones who had done this to her …"What happened?" he asked looking around the room noting the hesitation in all their faces. That alone told him just how bad this was.

"The EMT brought her in. There was a 911 call, someone found her at the steps of her apartment building," Owen explained to him "She was conscious when they brought her in, she told us that…Jackson, April was beaten and raped, she told us tha—"

"Dammit!" he screamed, not letting him finish. He wanted to punch something, someone, he wanted to kill the man who did this.

"She told us that," Dr. Hunt said making himself loud enough to be heard over his colleague's frustration, "that she scratched the man, so his DNA is under her nails. We already collected and gave it to the police. If you can't work on her face…"

"No, no one else is touching her face, no one is touching her," he said possessively. "She won't have any scars with the way I do it. I don't trust anyone to not leave a scar that will remind her of everything that she went through tonight. Even if they don't mean to," he said looking at her face. He wanted to touch her, give her something familiar. A touch that went far beyond examination. A touch that was a delicate and kind. One he knew would be nowhere near as monstrous as this. It didn't take long for him to see just how bad it was with his own eyes. The traces of prints much too large in comparison to her small frame, an angry red against her skin.

Jackson tried to detach himself from everything. He couldn't let himself feel even a little, because even that was too much. As he scrubbed in he watched the scrub nurses prepping her, feeling more like a zombie than he ever had before. He was in auto pilot. They all set to work, Jackson working on her face with more care and concern for accuracy than he ever bothered with before. Stitching her up, he was trying not to process anything, trying to just focus on his work. He was forced to snap back when the beeping coming from one of the monitors became alarming. "What happened?"

"Her BP is dropping, I can't control the bleeding." Both Bailey and Meredith worked quickly to find the source of the bleeding.

"I got it," said Meredith, finding the source and dealing with it as her Blood Pressure stabilized.

"Jesus," Jackson said looking down at April and all the emotions hit him again like a ton of bricks. He couldn't lose her. It was not an option, simply not an option

"You okay, Jackson?" Meredith asked without looking at him.

"Yeah, I'm fine just…Let's just get her out of here," He said, going back to focusing on the cut, on his work, but not the face he was working on.


After surgery, Jackson removed his gown and gloves roughly. He was still angry, he couldn't think as the rage was still flowing through him. He could feel it in every bone of his body, every cell, every part of him was just pure rage.

"Jackson…" Meredith started.

"Don't, okay? Don't tell me that it's going to be okay because it's not," he said looking at her "She was raped, Mer, raped! A man force himself on her, he held her down and did what he wanted with her!" He was screaming as he continued pacing around the empty OR where only he and Meredith stood. "Then that bastard had the balls to beat her up and she was awake for everything. She felt every punch and kick ... Everything thrust" he added disgusted at the thought. At this point he was almost crying, his anger morphing into tears. "So don't tell me is going to be okay because April will never forget it. She's already uncomfortable when she's not in control and for someone to just…" he closed his eyes and kicked one of the trays "Dammit!" he growled, He was hopeless. He hadn't been there for her. He remembered seeing her in the hallway. Drunk with Arizona. If he had made sure that she got home safely it would have never happened.

"Jackson, April will wake up anytime. She'll want to see someone she trusts and you are the closest one to her. You need to be there," Meredith said before leaving. She was not mad at his reaction; she would have been worried if he didn't let all of it out the way he did.

Jackson just nodded and headed towards her room. She looked so broken and battered. April was so tiny and so angelic he couldn't think of anyone even considering harming her. He took a seat and pulled the chair closer to her. He took her hand but almost regretted it as he thought about how much she would hate to be touched. "I'm sorry, April…I'm so sorry," he said closing his eyes and pressing his face to her unharmed hand. He kissed it and let himself cry. Regardless of what they were at the moment; she was the most important thing to him right now. All he could think about was the last time he saw her.


FLASHBACK

As he walked down the hallway, looking for Stephanie, he heard the very loud laughs of two women. When he turned onto the next hallway he saw April Kepner and Arizona Robbins holding each other up and laughing. Jackson couldn't help but smile at the sight, it was really entertaining actually.

April had messy hair, and was flushed, her lips a bit pouty, she looked like she'd just had sex, and for a second he thought maybe these two did but…It was April Kepner and that was not going to happen. He walked up to both woman with his eyebrows raised. "So, it seems like you guys had more fun than the rest of us," he said as the woman tried their best to hold each other.

"I'm going to look for Murphy…" Arizona said and walked away, leaving a drunken April with him.

April was ready to take a step but tripped and Jackson caught her. She did not hold back her laughter "I'm sorry," she said between giggles as she leaned on him "You smell nice."

"Thanks," he simply said as he held her up "You okay, April? Are you sure you will get home fine?"

"Yeah, I have my best friend with me," she looked around looking for Arizona. "Where did she go?" she asked, like a little kid who just lost her toy.

Jackson smiled and pulled back the piece of her hair that was out of place "She will be right back," he told her. He couldn't even be mad. She was too cute at the moment, and she looked like she always did after they had sex. Face flushed and hair coming out in all directions.

"You are so hot," April said looking at him "When I was with you I couldn't believe you would be interested in someone like me," she said chuckling "I am plain and simple," she said shrugging, as she went back to looking for Arizona.

"You are anything but plain and simple, April. You never were," he said in a ghostly voice. She will probably forget all of this in the morning.

"Why didn't you give me a reason?" she asked him, this time almost crying.

Jackson hated to see her cry. It was physically painful to watch. "April…" he said sweetly "I shouldn't have to," was all he said before they got interrupted.

"There you are!" said Arizona coming towards April and pulling at her excitedly. "I thought I lost you. Come on, Murphy got us a cab" she said and waving back to Jackson.

"Adios, Jack-man" April said smiling at him, as if forgetting the fact that she was almost crying a second ago.

With that he was off to search for Stephanie.

END OF FLASHBACK


"I shouldn't have to…" he said to himself. That was the last thing he had said to her.

Maybe he shouldn't have to….But he should have anyway.


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