::Saving the Best for Last::

Himura Kawaii

Chapter Three

*** Disclaimers apply... Blah blah.. RK's not mine.. Hail the Great Watsuki- sama... The song 'Save the Best for Last' is by Vanessa Williams. I don't own anything! I'm now a college stud, but still poor!!..... Don't sue me! ^_^



It's been a year since I stopped talking to you. A year since I stopped living.

I guess you could I say that you're my life. I don't know what happened to me that day, the day I decided to stop talking to you.

But that doesn't mean I stopped thinking about you. Nor did I stop caring for you. That would be plain hypocrisy to say that, and you know me. I know how many girls you went out with after her. I know whom among them you slept with and I also know that none of them mattered.

I knew all these without even asking you. I just have to look at you and I see everything. I know you too well.

Is that a curse or a gift?

Yes, it's been a year since I stopped talking to you. A year since I stopped living.

Do you miss me? Or do you even think of me? Of that night?

Because I do. Each damn waking day I think of you. Every single day of my life is filled with thoughts of you. If my brain gets vacuumed, everything that will be sucked out is you.

I heard from a common friend that you were having a hard time without me. Is that so?

Is it because you have no one else to listen to you when you rant about her? Do you miss me or do you miss the things I do for you?

Am I bitter? It seems that the story of my life doesn't have any movement. It's like I'm stuck in this zone and every time I try to get out, I sink even deeper.

Anyway, I'm standing here outside my room, waiting for my class to start. My friends surround me, they chat endlessly, but I don't take part. I'm staring at the trees that surround my building, but I don't see them. I guess it's been like this since.

I exist but I don't belong.

I stare but I don't see.

I breathe but I don't live.

It's not your fault. No, it's not your fault.

And you suddenly appear. Ohmigod, what do I do?

Calm down, Kaoru. You've managed to avoid him for a year, this should be easy.

But it's not. You're heading towards me. This is de ja vu.

You haven't changed. It's still you- those violet eyes, the lean body and your intense red hair. Haven't you changed at all? Are you still the same sweet, caring person I love? Is there someone else comforting you when you're down?

Am I the one who made things even worse?

Is this a no-win situation?

I stay and I hurt.

I leave and I still hurt.

Was I born to be an idiot?

Before I knew it, you're standing directly in front of me, your eyes bearing that puppy-dog, innocent look that I know so well.

God, I hate it that I know you too well.

We stay like that, looking at each other dumbly, for what seemed to me like an eternity.

Who would blame me? I could drown in your eyes and almost think that I could take your soul with me.

I could stare at you forever, and that would be my idea of heaven.

"Kaoru." I hear your soft voice pleading.

Shit. I could feel my indifference dissolving.

"What do you want, Kenshin?" I hear myself say coldly.

You wince as if I threw cold water at your face.

"Can we talk?" You shyly ask me.

I breathe. I know I still hold the ball in this game. I still call the play.

"So talk."

You glance sideways, obviously referring to all the people surrounding us. "In private?"

"What you want to tell me, you can tell in front of everyone else."

I never thought I could be this cold. I never thought I'd see the day I would hurt you. I want to back off. But I remain.

"Please Kaoru?" You plead.

NO. Never again, Kenshin.

People surrounding us start to hush down and pay attention to our conversation. I don't know if I can put up with this any longer.

Suddenly, the class before us started pouring out of the room. I sigh a breath of relief and hurry inside.

But not before you grab my arm.

"What do you want Kenshin?" I could feel the frustration rising in my throat. "Why do you always have to be so damn annoying?!"

"Kaoru, I know I've been a jerk-"

"Well, that's good, Kenshin. You're catching up fast."

"Kaoru please, listen to me."

I start to walk away, quickly as I could.

"Kaoru, I need you." You shout in front of all these people in the hallway. I could hear the desperation in your voice.

I had to walk back. "Are you crazy? I have classes. So just leave me alone, okay?"

"I-" You pause.

What is it now? You need me? You care for me? You have to talk to me? You what?

"You what, Kenji?" I interrupt, almost daring you to tell me whatever the hell it is that you've come up with now.

"I LOVE YOU."

I didn't know what came over me. Before I knew it my hand acted on it's own and I have slapped you.

Hard.

On the face.

In front of the whole school.

What did I do that for?

I love you too.

What?

I love you too, Kenshin.

What did you say?

I love you, dammit, just say it.

I'm panicking.

What just happened?!!

Amidst all the embarrassment I caused you, you repeat what you said again. Plus you launch into a long explanation about everything that had happened.

"I love you Kaoru. Please believe me. I was so stupid not to see it before. I could never make any of my relationships work out because it was always you. It has always been you."

I stood there, frozen, with almost a hundred faces expectant of my answer.

Why can't I say it?

I was supposed to feel triumphant in this moment, right?

This was supposed to be my moment.

I love you too. That's not so hard, is it?

But why do I feel like a freak show? Like what you just said was another lie? That you just said all of these to make me come back?

Am I in the wrong scene?

Just say those damn three words, Kaoru.

Was it because I didn't want you to realize you love me because I'm gone?

I wanted you to realize you loved me while I was with you.

While I was there.

I shook my head and left you standing there, looking lost and confused.

I love you too Kenshin.

But I've had enough.

I love you..

..goodbye.





*** Ei.. how was it? I think this fic's gonna be longer than I intended it to be. Gomen ne! And I have no idea how it'd go!!

::kawaii holds out a big sign that reads 'HELP'::

Hehe.. funny, I've been receiving a lot of messages telling me that they can relate to this fic.. I dunno.. this made me think, did we all, at one time on our lives, became a victim of this bug called..

"Unrequited Love"?!

LOL!! I know I was. But now I'm not. Hahahaha.. LOL again. Enough of this crap talk. ^__^

I didn't include a part of the song here in this chappie cuz it just didn't seem appropriate.. so next chappie will contain a part of the song. :D

To Lexa and her friends, this is for you guys. ^__^

Lexa.. Loving someone without expecting anything in return is the ultimate sacrifice a person can make for another. Hang in there, girl! *^^*