Disclaimer: I do not own any of Kyou Kara Maou.
Yuri was kind to everyone, Wolfram thought as he slowly painted his fiancée. He believed in giving everyone love.
[I wish he would love me differently.]
A face began to form, dark hair and raven eyes. The new Maou was certainly wonderful in appearance, dressed in black, which always suited him well, despite the cute face. So did his smiles.
[I wish he would smile for me.] [Don't smile at other people.]
The strokes grew faster. Paint spread across the canvas, infecting every inch of it with colour. Pausing, the painter tilted his head. It was perfect.
[I wish I could be perfect.] [I wish I could be his perfect lover.] [Please, look at me.] [My heart has been infected with love, save me from drowning in my jealousy.]
Tremulous, the brush slowly slid down the painting. A pause. And chaos took over; colour splattered every which way, maroon over turquoise, scarlet over grey, the colours of that shapeless emotion in his heart. Love, with bursts of despair, tainted envy, ugly greed; it was monstrous. It was Wolfram's heart.
[I wish that you would never see this part of me.] [Please don't see this selfish me.] [Please don't hate me.] [I'll just pretend its okay, let me stay by your side a little longer.]
Haunting, terrifying, both words to describe the thing. Tears poured down Wolfram's cheeks in his blind frenzy. Could it still be called love if the one who loved was so horrible? He was never good at contemplating his emotions head-on. Trembling, Wolfram slowed his strokes, with deep, controlled breaths. No longer could the canvas be called art.
[In a perfect world, he'd notice me.] [He'd realize the motives behind me words, understand this twisted heart of mine.] [He wouldn't mind my selfishness.] [I'm not naive enough to bother, I know he's too oblivious.] [That's good, Yuri, keep smiling, stay innocent, stay naive; don't worry about me.]
A sudden burst of flame shot up in the fireplace. Another ruined painting added to the ashes in the smoking blaze. It didn't matter, anyway. He would just have to stay up a bit later tomorrow to paint it again. It wasn't as if he could sleep, with his heart tearing so fast apart in the waking hours. As dawn peeked across the fortress, Wolfram fell asleep, tears still running down. Who knew love would hurt so much?
[I'm a soldier, I can take anything.] [I can't cry, it's weak.] [Emotions don't mean all that much, just ignore them, carry on with it already.] [Heartbreak is nothing.] [I'm just weak.] [I need to stop antagonizing so much, I'll just forget this ever happened.]
Sun filled the castle before long. Wolfram trudged along trough his day, as normally as he could. He managed to sneak back into bed unnoticed, he was really getting good at this. Maybe if he put on a sexy night-gown, Yuri would notice? Not that he had the last few innumerable times, but hey, it could happen. Last night never happened at all, there was no reason for Wolfram to think negatively at all. Just carry on and yell at Yuri some more today. It didn't matter, anyway.
[It doesn't matter, anyway.] [It's not like anyone would care.]
[It's not like Yuri would notice.]
That was... a lot of angst. Even though I'm already scaring myself... please review to tell me what you think, onegaishimasu!