Disclaimer. All publicly recognizable characters, settings etc., are the property of their respective owners. The original characters, ideas and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. I only do this for fun.
Tomorrow is Only a Day Away
A/N: This story is written as a collaboration by both Xo BellaItaliana oX and XxSaveAHorseRideACowboyxX. We hope that you enjoy the story and look forward to reading your reviews.
If you would like to view PICTURES for each chapter, check out this story on Wattpad. There is a pic posted with each chapter of a scene that is going on within each update (including Jasper romance photos of him and Bella together as a couple :-) Enjoy) the link is posted on my profile. – Bella'Xo
Chapter Two: Suffering in Silence
My name is Jasper Matthew Whitlock. The first thing that you should know about me, aside from my ability to feel and manipulate the emotions around me, is that I am in love with my wife's best friend. Only to make the matters worse is that she is now coincidently my brother's fiancé.
Now, upon hearing this revelation about myself, I'm sure that you must think that I'm out of my mind, crazy, but it's not like that at all. Being the southern gentleman that I am - raised in the mid-eighteen hundred's - I've prided myself on my honour and my reputation as a loyal soldier, husband and brother. Neither Alice nor Edward deserve to be betrayed by me in such a way. So, be that as it may, I found that it was far better to suffer in silence and atone for my feelings by remaining nothing more than a distant friend and perhaps someday a brother to the girl in question; one, Isabella Marie Swan.
Now, let's back up a bit and I will rehash how this all came to be; my hell on earth…
It was her first day at Forks High School where my whole family, aside from my 'parents', were attending class in order to blend in unseeingly with the human population while we were living in the petite, rainy town of Forks, Washington. It was the perfect place for us vampires to roam about freely without the worrying about discovery as it rarely had any sunny days to expose us for what we really were.
As much as this was convenient for my family and me, it was also a downer on the feelings that were surrounding me, but I managed to magnify it myself, because I loved the sun. I loved the way it made my skin feel warm, almost humanlike. I relished the way it somehow managed to make the day seem brighter, even during my darkest moments.
Now, you may be wondering why I didn't just come right out and admit to Alice that my feelings towards her had changed as she had possibly already known, considering the fact that she had psychic powers, or the ability to see the future based on the decisions of those she has met or would interfere with the lives of those closest to her. I'll get to that in a minute.
That day when the amazing girl with those intense chocolate-brown eyes and auburn streaked mahogany coloured hair had turned up in the canteen, I knew that everything from that moment on would be different. I was not sure if those changes would be marked for the better or for the worse, but I had hoped that it would be for the better. She was so different from the other human girls who I've observed throughout my existence. Most would relish the attention that they were receiving from the student population and thrive in the spot light. But not Isabella; she seemed almost embarrassed by it and would blush any time she caught someone staring. In my opinion, it was a refreshing change.
I watched as the discreet young girl was coaxed to sit with the popular crowed, or in my opinion, a bunch of hormonal teenager boys that clearly lusted after this girl while the other girls in the click stuck to her like glue in hopes that attention rubbing off onto them.
I had just walked into the canteen with my family, and the second we were spotted, I believe it was Jessica Stanley who immediately began giving her the low down on the mysterious Cullen family. When Jessica mentioned my name, I snuck a quick unnoticed glance over towards the table as I felt an intense wave of curiosity and lust focused towards me. Our eyes had met, and I knew from the strings that heaved at my unbeating heart, binding me to her as though by magic, that she was my other half; my mate. It was unheard of for a vampire to have a human mate, but I couldn't deny that she was. There was no other explanation.
Her emotions quickly shifted to penetrating waves of disappointment when she quickly learned of my relationship status with Alice, who had been dancing around happily next to me. I sighed and continued walking the last few steps before taking a seat at our table.
It was not five seconds later that Edward slipped through the same doors that Rosalie, Emmett, Alice and I had just entered from. The new girl peered over at him, her curiosity strong.
"Jessica Stanley is giving the new Swan girl all the dirty laundry on the Cullen Clan," Edward murmured as he took a seat at our table.
Swan…figures that she would be the Chief of Police's daughter; the one who was rumoured to come and live with him from Phoenix, Arizona. The town had been bustling about her impending arrival since word had gotten out.
Emmett chuckled under his breath. "I hope she's making it good."
"Rather unimaginative, actually. Just the barest hint of scandal. Not an ounce of horror. I'm a little disappointed."
"And the new girl? Is she disappointed in the gossip as well?"
Edward tilted his head to listen to what this new girl, Bella, from what I could hear Jessica call her, thought of her story.
Bella – her name suited her, I thought to myself.
I began to wonder what she saw when she looked at the strange, chalky-skinned family that was universally avoided. I looked over at Edward, monitoring his emotions as I anticipated his response. It was sort of Edward's responsibility to know her reaction. He acted as a lookout, for lack of a better word, for our family. To help protect us. If anyone ever grew suspicious, he could give us early warning and an easy retreat. It happened occasionally – some human with an active imagination would see in us the characters of a book or a movie. Usually they got it wrong, but it was better to move on somewhere new than to risk scrutiny. Very, very rarely, someone would guess right. We didn't give them a chance to test their hypothesis. We simply disappeared, to become no more than a frightening memory…
I watched as Edward's brows began to furrow and his emotions start to fluctuate; first indifference, then confusion, to shock and then determination with a slight undercurrent of fear. He turned to look up, feeling off-balance.
I looked over and met the girl's eyes causing inviting warm red stains graced Bella's cheeks as she looked down, away from the embarrassing gaffe of getting caught staring at a stranger. My throat began to sear as I saw this and I had to force myself to look away, as much as it pained me to do so.
The emotions had been as clear on her face as if they were spelled out in words across her forehead: surprise, as she unknowingly absorbed the signs of the subtle differences between her kind and mine, curiosity, as she listened to Jessica's tale, and something more…fascination almost. It hasn't been the first time. We were beautiful to them, our intended prey. Then, finally, embarrassment as I caught her staring at me.
I continued to wonder, though her thoughts had seemed to be so clear in her odd eyes – odd, because the depth to them; brown eyes often seemed flat in their darkness – what she could possibly be thinking.
"Which one is the boy with the reddish brown hair?" I heard her ask, causing me to instantly turn at look over at her again, catching her just in time to see her sneak a look at Edward from the corner of her eye, only to look quickly away when she saw that Edward was still staring.
"That's Edward. He's gorgeous, of course, but don't waste your time. He doesn't date. Apparently none of the girls here are good-looking enough for him." Jessica sniffed.
I watched Edward turn his head away to hide his smile and I had to bite back a growl. I turned away to conceal my distaste for the situation.
Jessica and her classmates had no idea how lucky they were that none of them particularly appealed to Edward, though I'd never seen him take an interest in any of our kind either.
However, that was about to change. Beneath Edward's transient humor, I felt a strange impulsive emotion from him, one that he did not clearly understand as it mingled with confusion. It was like he was feeling a strange urge to step in between this Bella Swan and Jessica, to shield her from the dark feelings that I was sensing from Jessica as jealousy seeped through her. My feelings seemed to mimic my brothers, though they were more directed at him than Jessica.
"So, is the new one afraid of us yet? Emmett asked Edward, breaking me out of my thoughts. Lucky for me, Edward was too wrapped up in the new girl than what was going on in my head.
I looked over to see that Edward was continuing to study the girl in question, who blushed in an endearing way at having been caught staring, once again.
"Well?" Emmett pressed when Edward had not yet responded.
He shrugged apathetically, though his emotions told me another story as he kept stealing glances at the new student. Lucky for him, Emmett wasn't interested enough to press for more information.
Just then, the bell blared loudly, signalling the end of lunch. We got up from the table and walked out of the canteen, heading off to our classes. Emmett, Rose and I were pretending to be seniors; we separated from Edward and Alice for our classes. Edward and Alice were playing a younger role than us and Alice headed off to English and Edward for his junior level biology class.
I couldn't focus for the rest of the day as Bella Swans face flashed through my mind. The pull I felt inside of my chest was driving me crazy and I had to fight the urge to follow it.
Finally, the day was over and the four of us were sitting inside Edward's Volvo waiting for him so we could leave. When I'd finally spotted him, he was moving too fast, though luckily most of the humans had cleared out already, so there weren't a lot of witnesses. His emotions reflected his face and his eyes were pitched black as blood lust echoed through them.
He slid into the driver's seat and slammed the door, trying to control his breathing, but he was gasping at the fresh air liked he'd been suffocated.
"Edward?" Alice asked, alarm in her voice.
He just shook his head at her.
"What the hell happened to you?" Emmett demanded, distracted, for the moment, from the fact that I was not in the mood for a wrestling rematch this afternoon after beating him last night. I had other things on my mind.
Instead of answering him, he threw the car into reverse, swung the car around and accelerated. We hit forty before we were even on the road. On the road, we hit seventy before we even made the corner.
We all immediately turned to stare at Alice, who shrugged. She couldn't see what had passed, only what was coming.
Her eyes lost focused as she looked ahead for him now. Whatever she saw – Edward watching with her – they were both surprised as it showed in each of their emotions.
"You're leaving?" she whispered.
We all turned to stare at Edward now.
"Am I?" He hissed through his teeth.
Alice's eyes zoned out once again before dread and darkness danced through her emotions.
"Oh," was all she said before repeating, "Oh," again.
"Stop!" Edward groaned, unable to hear more of whatever she saw.
"Sorry," she whispered, her eyes wide as Edward's blood lust surged. "I'll miss you," she said. "No matter how short a time you're gone."
Emmett and Rosalie exchanged an apprehensive glance.
We were almost to the turn off onto the long drive that led to our home.
"Drop us here," Alice instructed. "You should tell Carlisle yourself."
He nodded, and the car squealed to a sudden stop.
Emmett, Rosalie and I got out in silence; we would make Alice explain when he was gone.
Alice touched his shoulder. "You will do the right thing," she murmured, clearly not a vision this time – an order. "She's Charlie Swan's only family. It would kill him, too."
This caught my attention as my head whipped in their direction.
"Yes," Edward said, obviously agreeing with only the last part.
Finally, Alice slid out to join us, her eyebrows pulling together in anxiety.
We melted into the woods, of out Edward's sight before he could even turn the car around and accelerate towards town doing ninety, the road flying beneath his tires.
"Alice…spill," I gritted out as she began to explain.
She was his singer.
I had to somehow warn her to stay away from him. The thought of her dead, drained of her life supply, her deep, soulful eyes void of all life sent a pain through me that was staggering. I was one foot out the door when my actions were stopped with the furious words of my wife echoing throughout the now empty house, ordering me not to interfere while reassuring me that Bella would be fine. She illustrated that in her visions, Bella would become one of us and would be family as Edward's mate.
My stomach seemed to drop at those words, but what could I do? What could I say? I was married and Alice was a kind soul. She brought me to this family and saved me from the self-loathing depression I was in. There was no way that I could hurt her that way because I had some mystifying feelings regarding a human girl. Not to mention Edward deserved a mate after over a century alone. Even if the thought of him anywhere near Bella Swan sent my instincts out of control.
Coming to this conclusion, I only glared at her and growled before marching out the front door, slamming it in my wake. She wouldn't pursue me, knowing that I wasn't going to continue on with my original plan.
I didn't understand how she could put that much pressure on an unsuspecting soul. Her visions weren't absolute and could change in the blink of an eye.
I ran into past the tree line of our property and into the woods, continuing on to the rock that I called my own since we had moved here. I used it frequently as a place to think and get away from the dizzying emotions that filled the large estate. What I hadn't known was that the Swan's residence was only 2 miles from where I now sat. That is, until I heard the sound of a loud engine nearing my location. The pulling sensation in my chest seemed to fade, causing me to jump from my spot and take off towards the source of the sound.
I finally made it to the road only to find Bella Swan driving a large rust-colored 53' Chevy. I immediately picked up on her emotional climate. She was sending strong waves of annoyance, longing, and hatred.
What could have happened to have made her feel this way?
I seemed constantly intrigued by this girl. She called to me like no one else ever had. I couldn't help the feeling that I had to know her somehow. It was like she was meant to be in my life some way, somehow.
I followed the Chevy down the road another mile and a half and ended up at Bella's house. I watched as she slid out of the driver's side and trudged up the walk way and through the front door. I spotted a tree that was positioned just outside her room. I'd come back tonight and watch to see if I could learn about her through observation since talking to her was out of the question as of now until Edward slowly introduced her to our world.
If he can get past her scent and his outlandish belief's, that is.
As much as I didn't like it, I had no other choice. I could only hope that this intense fascination with her would fade over time as I learned more about her.
It had been nearly a month since I had started staying in her tree at night. I had learned a good deal about her, so far. I knew that her favourite book was Wuthering Heights and she loved mushroom ravioli. She washed her hair with Strawberry scented shampoo and body wash and usually slept in shorts and a tank top. But these were only the trivial things that only played a part in who she was. Realistically, Bella Swan – or Isabella – was sweet and caring. She played the part of the parent most of her life and still continued to have those traits when cooking and cleaning for her father. She was deep and shy, not liking when she was the center of attention. And one thing that I knew for certain was that she did not see herself clearly. She truly had no idea how beautiful she was not only on the inside, but on the outside, as well.
Learning about her had become my new favourite past time. Sure, maybe in the human world, this would come across as creepy, but for a vampire living on the outside of the real world…Okay, so maybe it was unusual for a vampire, as well. Usually, humans were only good for becoming their prey and learning about one was just plain sadistic. But I was not a human drinking vampire and I didn't know what else to do.
However, this all came to a stop the day that I was discovered by Edward. It was a couple days after he had saved her life from Tyler Crowley's out of control van and he had made his own visit to the Swan residence. Climbing up into Bella's bedroom, he had caught my scent on the tree outside of her window.
He had come home that night and confronted me in front of Alice. He was upset and worried for Bella's safety. But the truth was that since I had been around her so much, I had built up a tolerance to her beautiful fragrance and it didn't ignite such a strong desire in me compared to the other humans I've come across in every day passing. We had words, Alice pulling me away in the midst of it. I could see that she didn't understand and I really had no idea what I could tell her. I was good at hiding my thoughts from Edward, so he didn't understand any more than she did. Looking into her perplexed, pained eyes, the only thing I could do was apologize and put an end to my visits to the Swan residence.
What I didn't realize until several months later was that this was the point where I was over her. I saw her nothing more than a sister, a beloved best friend. But there was no way that I could tell her this. I wouldn't break her. She deserved more.
Time passed and I did my best to keep my distance from Bella Swan. She had become a part of the family and made her mark on each of us.
The months apart when we left Forks were hard on me, but I did my best to keep them buried. After all, it was my fault we had to leave. The blood lust from everyone in that room slammed into me like a sledge hammer and I couldn't stop myself if I tried. It killed me inside and I spend a long time in a depression hating myself.
When Alice and Bella went to save Edward in Volterra, it took everything in me to stay put and not hop on a plane after them. I couldn't imagine something happening to my best friend, my wife, let alone my secret obsession, the girl whose existence seemed to pull me toward. Seeing her again after all those months that day at the airport, I had to fight to stay rooted to the spot.
The multiple times that we fought to protect Bella from first James, and then Victoria were the only times where my emotional instincts were out of my control. The thought of them getting to her drove me insane and it took everything in me not to take her and run. I had to keep reminding myself that she wasn't mine to protect and that I would have to do my part as a friend - a brother – to keep her safe.
It wasn't long after the battle with Victoria and her newborn army when I found out that Bella had agreed to marry Edward. My emotions built up and I ran for the trees in an attempt to outrun them to a spot where no one would see. I didn't care where I went; I just had to get away - away from the emotions that were bubbling up to the surface.
Finally, I had to stop as they tackled me from behind, slamming me to my spot and my boots rooted to the ground beneath me.
I was in love with her.
I knew this now and there was nothing I could do about it. I could only mourn the fact that I had lost her without ever really having her to begin with. I had lost my only true chance of happiness. She was my mate, my other half and now I couldn't ever be whole.
I had destroyed a good portion of the forest that day and drained an entire herd of deer before my anger finally dissipated. I then went back and pretended to be happy in face of the family and in front of the happy couple. But when I finally looked at her and made eye contact, she sent off a staggering wave of pain. It was then that I realized I must have let the agony show somewhere in my expression, yet she had no idea what it was about.
Finally, it was the day of her wedding; the day I was dreading ever since I learned of the engagement. I didn't know if I could go along with this charade anymore, but I pushed all the agonizing feelings downward and kept a smile planted firmly on my face.
To make matters worse, I was chosen to be Edwards's best man. He was thrilled and nervous as the excitement and anticipation shone in his eyes throughout the night when he, Emmett and I went hunting to celebrate his last night of being single.
I swear I died a little inside when I saw her walking down the aisle towards him. She took my breath away in her long white gown. She was a vision of beauty and I was just the beast standing beside her prince.
I gritted my teeth in a fake smile and looked away, only to turn back when I felt her emotions shift. She was nearing the end of the aisle, yet she wasn't looking at Edward; she was looking at me.
Our eyes stayed on each other, my mind completely blank as I focused on her swirling emotions. Her eyes began to well up with tears as she stopped dead in her tracks.
Before anyone could react, she chucked her shoes off of her feet and took off in the opposite direction. She was smart enough to know that with the large human populace present, Edward couldn't chase her at an immortal speed.
I looked over at my brother to see a stunned look fall over his face. He hesitated before making his move, only to be blocked off and lost in the crowed who stood to get a better view of the runaway bride.
My next actions were nearly involuntary as I quickly calculated my next move. Everyone was distracted as they watched her run in the opposite direction, giving me the chance that I needed to dash around the back way around the crowds to catch up with her as she was halfway up the drive way.
Bella froze, her mouth moving as if she was trying to explain herself but no words could make their way out. Her emotions began to spin in an overwhelming cycle, becoming too much for her as her legs buckled from underneath her.
I caught her from underneath her arms and pulled her against me as she wrapped her arms around my neck. I could smell the salt from her tears as she regained her footing.
"Don't worry, Darlin'. I'm here…I'll always be here." I murmured, sensing her fears. I knew she was afraid that after her very public rejection of my brother that we would all disappear and leave her life once again.
Settling down, determination filled her and she pulled away from me. I reluctantly allowed it, immediately searching out her eyes.
What now? What comes next? How do I go about this?
I could sense Alice approaching slowly, her emotions resigned. The sound of a twig snapping alerted Bella to her presence and we both whipped around to face her.
Alice's face was heart breaking as she stared at Bella and I. I knew that Bella's decision today filled her mind with an entirety of new visions and she knew that our time had come to an end.
Self-loathing filled Bella's emotions as she looked at Alice.
"I'm sorry," she whispered before she pulled herself the rest of the way free from my arms and fled the scene, once again, continuing her decent down the driveway.
I wasn't sure whether to chase her again or leave her be, but by her route, I knew exactly where she was going; the rock that overlooked the tree that I had normally used as my own, sanctuary.
I turned to look back at Alice, an apology in my eyes and emotions as I sent them her way. Venom began to coat her own eyes and she took in a deep breath.
"Go," she rasped out.
I kept her gaze a moment longer, unsure. I knew Bella needed me, but Alice did too. It was finally time for us to talk.
"Go," she repeated, this time a bit more forcefully, giving me a small smile for reassurance.
Nodding once, I took off down the driveway in the direction that Bella had just taken. I could hear Edward as he finally made it to where Alice stood and she halted his progress.
"What's going on, Alice?" Was the last thing I heard before I was out of range as I sped off through the trees.
I finally made it to the rock in time to see Bella sitting there, her legs pulled up to her chest as she cried her eyes out, sobbing over and over again, "what's wrong with me?"
I swallowed hard, unable to stand the sight before me, yet unsure what to do to make it better. All I could think was "nothing is wrong with you, my beautiful Bella," but I kept that thought inside, not wanting to scare her, unsure how to approach her or make this better. Instead, I just sat there in the tree and watched over her as the scene below me unraveled.
A/N: Yay! The next chapter finally posted! I apologize for my absence, but I had to send my laptop in to get fixed. (We all know how that can be). Anyway, what did you think of the story so far? Any thoughts on what will happen next? Did you like Jasper's POV? Review…
If you have any questions or comments, post them in my reviews and I will answer them in my next author's note at the bottom of the chapter!
To see more, go to either mine or my Co Author's FF page: Xo Bella Italiana oX or XxSaveAHorseRideACowboyxX
If you enjoyed this story so far, check out some of my other stories on my FanFiction page! Also, I am still accepting Twilight stories that involve Jasper/any female leads or Bella/selected male leads if anyone is looking for a Beta Reader. I will make exceptions on the characters depending on the plot. I am also accepting other story topics as well! PM me for details!
- Bella'Xo -
Xo Bella Italiana oX