~*Six Months Later*~
Mirkwood sure enough became my home as days had moved along. Suddenly I knew every area there was for an elf to know about in Middle Earth and I couldn't remember what it was like to be human. Not since the night of my breakdown had I slept. Legolas mentioned that elves only go into a deep sleep when wounded or when the bodies need it the most. Usually it happens once in a blue moon. So far, nothing.
I was accepted into the Mirkwood border guards once my skills met their standards. Tauriel and Legolas added intensity to my lessons once they discovered the side I had hidden for so long. My pain had become my drive and energy. Still everyday I wondered if I would ever wake up from my coma and return home or if the plug would be pulled. I tried not thinking about the second option but it was easier said than done.
Tauriel had become my confidant as we were spending more time with each other. I was the Mirkwood border guard messenger so my time was usually revolved around Tauriel and Legolas. As far as Legolas and I went, our night walks were daily and we learned everything there was to know about one another. He listened to my stories about growing up and I listened to his. I found out he'd had an older brother who ruled in another area of Middle Earth. He couldn't remember the last time he saw him but finds himself wondering about him. The deeper Legolas and I had gone into our lives, the closer the comfort we had with one another. We couldn't hide anything from the other person.
One evening, Legolas and I found ourselves wandering in the Mirkwood garden. He told me stories of how he learned to fight as well as his mother. His mother was somewhat of a touchy subject to him as she had died when he was very young. He never knew what had killed her but all he remembers was one moment she was alive and happy and the next she was gone. I could understand his sensitivity toward it. I'd never forgiven myself for what had happened with my own mother. We never talked about it, but Legolas knew.
"She forgives you Felicity," Legolas finally spoke out about it this particular evening. I sat on the branch of one of the Mirkwood trees glancing down at Legolas. "Do not doubt she does."
"Do you remember your last words to your mom?" I asked. Legolas shook his head. "I wish I didn't either. Who wants anyone's last word to be that they hate you?"
A warm feeling covered my hand and I looked down to see Legolas hand over mine. His blue eyes twinkled, soft and pleading. "Felicity," he began as his hand wrapped mine tightly," you cannot live like this."
Not even his touch could change my mind. I just shook my head and glanced at our hands. "I can't promise you that," I told him without looking at him. "It's going to be the chip I will forever carry on my shoulder. That's just how it's going to be."
He didn't let go. "You do not see the greatness you've become, do you?" Legolas asked moving closer. His hands then moved to my waist where he helped me off the tree branch. He then looked at me with his hands still on my waist. "You aren't who you used to be, Felicity. You used to glow. You've lost the parts about you I saw underneath everything."
"What do you want me to do?" I asked in a whisper. "She's long gone, Legolas. She let her guard down and this is what happened. It's weird how everything is much better when you keep yourself guarded by a wall."
Legolas shook his head with a small smile on his lips. "You do not get it," he chuckled. "It's not the fact you let your guard down that you don't glow, it's you're hiding something."
Yes you moron. I'm hiding the goddamn crush I have on you.
"Why is it any of your concern?" I asked tilting my head to the side. Legolas cocked his head back, his smile falling. His blue eyes darkened with seriousness.
"It is-." He stopped himself and let his hands off my waist. "It is complicated."
The precious moment ruined by guess who? Moi.
I rolled my eyes. "Legolas it's not complicated, alright? You don't want me out of your sight and out of your control. That's why you're concerned. If you had it your way you wouldn't even give the slightest shit."
"That is not true," Legolas argued stepping forward. He went to hold my hand but his offer was declined when I pushed his hand away.
"Really?" My voice grew colder. "You have told me thousands of times that my pain is what's going to keep me alive in battle which is why you've had me tell you my life story. Don't deny it."
Legolas kept quiet. He knew I was right. "That was not the only reason," he pointed out. "Don't act like you know everything Felicity."
I scoffed. "Coming from the person who thinks he knows me. News flash, you don't know everything about me."
"What is it I do not know?"
"You figure it out and let me know."
With that I turned away and let the tears I held back from him fall down. Tauriel crossed my path and noticed my face.
"Felicity, what happened?" Tauriel asked stepping in front of me. "I thought you and Legolas were-."
She grabbed my hand and took me into one of the rooms. She closed the door and looked at me. "Did you tell him?" she asked. She knew about my feelings. She was the only person who knew.
"No. We just got into a disagreement. He acts like he's genuinely concerned about me yet he won't tell me because he says it's 'complicated'. You'd think if he actually gave a shit he'd tell me."
"Actions mean more than words," Tauriel pointed out. "He should not have to tell you he cares about you. I believe he cares for you in the way you care for him."
"Did he tell you?"
"He does not have to. You and Thranduil may believe that Legolas has affections for me but it is not in a way that you two believe it is. He had been my friend since we were children and nothing more. Thranduil even agrees that nothing more could ever come between Legolas and I."
"Then if he believes that, there's no way in hell he'd ever let Legolas be with me."
Tauriel smiled and added," I would not worry much over what Thranduil would think." She patted my shoulder and said," Perhaps you should go relax in your room. If you need anything, find me."
I thanked her with a hug before walking off to my room. I shut the door behind me and sat on the window seat that gave me the perfect view of the land around the kingdom. A knock on the door interrupted my peace.
"Come in," I called.
Thranduil entered and I stood up from my seat. I gave him a quick bow.
"I wanted to express how proud I am to see how you've grown, Felicity," Thranduil stated with a grin. "Your training has paid off very well."
I thought he was pulling my leg, but I was too shocked to even believe that son of a bitch could smile at me.
"That's very kind of you," I replied slowy. "However the credit goes to Legolas and Tauriel. They are excellent warriors."
"Indeed," Thranduil nodded. "I also would like to as you where it is you stand on your future."
Apparently you can't escape this shit anywhere you go.
"Elves are given the option to be mortal or immortal. I am curious as to what you are leaning towards."
Shit man. I can't even choose between NSYNC or Backstreet Boys!
"Uhh…I urm…I'll get back to you."
Thranduil's smile snapped right back into his signature disapproving pout. He gave me a nod and left my room without even closing my door. Not that he really had to. I snuck out right after the coast was clear.
Oliver took me into the area of the forest where it was most peaceful. I found myself coming here with him to practice on one of the threes or to just clear my head. Sometimes I talked to Oliver.
Don't judge me. Please.
I hopped off and tied his strap around the tree trunk. For once I prayed Legolas wouldn't come after me. It was weird to need distance from him but what else could I do? I needed to gather my thoughts and collect myself from earlier's event. I pulled out my bow and an arrow from my the bow carrier. Archery had become therapeutic to me.
Also it was nice to feel badass. I felt like I was preparing for the Hunger Games.
Seven arrows to the tree trunk and I was about to call it a night when a faint screeching drew my attention. I turned behind me and although there was nothing close by happening, something had been going on in the distance.
Behind me was Tauriel. She covered my mouth until the screeching was heard again. Then she let go.
"I heard it earlier," I told her in a hush tone. "What do you think-."
She then glanced to me and in a low voice uttered," Necromancers."
(Insert Hiddleston laugh) Hehehe!
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