title:Deathwish
author:cheebs!
email: chbkamen@optonline.net
rating: R
characters: Faith, AtS ensemble
summary: After the end of Angel s3, Faith discusses where
she'd like her relationship with Angel to go.
improv # 51 - Sting/Police song title
disclaimer: characters aren't mine, or the show would be
Faith, the Vampire Slayer.


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I wish I'd killed him when I had the chance.

Not back in Sunnyhell, when it was just him and me and a
stake. I was too weak back then, just coming into my powers
and barely trained. Still, I fought Angel hand-to-hand
-- twice -- and lived to tell about it.

No, I mean when I went after him in LA. I had plenty of
chances, right? I know I could've dusted him when I was in
his office, but it wouldn't have been as much fun without
him in the game, so I took off.

Then there was that crap in the alley. /I'm evil, boo hoo,
please kill me./ Ha! He's always been as big a sap as his
golden girl, helping the helpless or something like that.
I knew he wasn't gonna do it. I was just tired of running.
Screw that; I was just tired. Not sleeping for a week
straight can do that.

I was so tired that I trusted him. I let him in, mainly
because the stuff he was saying rang true, and partly 'cause
he kept Wes and Queen C from getting in a few licks while I
was down. Maybe I was getting just a little sick of being
alone, too.

I let him in, and he burned me. At least B cared enough to
let me know she hated me. He didn't even have the balls to
tell me what I'd said or done that made him stop visiting.

I don't think he's dead. If that were it, I'm sure he'd have
sent me some last bits of wisdom about taking it one day at
a time and not getting into a serious party sitch in the
yard. 'Course, his groupies hate me and he'd be relying on
them to send such a letter...wonder if they'd go against a
dead guy's last wishes? Then again, he's already undead....

Undead. Means I can hurt him as much as he's hurt me, let
him heal up, then start all over again. Gives me a chance to
go through all five torture groups and see how much I
remember.

I think I'll start with sharp; I wanna see him bleed. Wonder
if he's still got that wicked 10" chef's knife? I could do
some serious damage with that! Hell, a blade that big, that
nice, I might have too much fun to move on to blunt, cold,
hot and loud. It's too easy to get carried away, lost in the
blood-tinged rage haze, and take his head off.

On the plus side, if I dust him quickly, his little groupies
won't have time to think before I go after them. Or, I could
grab them first and tie them up; give them front-row seats
to Soulboy's last performance.

Ooh, better thought: with the new ones, there's five -- one
for each torture method. Wes and I got started on hot, but
never really got intimate with it. We'll have to change that.
I still wanna hear him scream. Wonder how stiff his upper
lip will be with a curling iron up his English channel?

Think I'll save cold for the ice queen bitch. Not regular
cold either; I know a dry ice supplier. It'll be a shame to
see that highly fuckable bod blistered and peeling, but
hearing her beg me to stop will be worth it.

That leaves blunt and loud.

Angel told me about Fred. After all the shit she's been
through, I just can't beat her down. Loud will be enough to
break her anyway. All it takes is a pimped-out system and a
strong bass hook...Lords of Acid should get us both worked
up. If she's cute enough, maybe we'll have a little fun.

Blunt should be fun. This guy Gunn sounds like a fighter.
Bet he's never gone a round with a Slayer. I know how to
make a fight last for hours, drag it out 'til he's just a
bloody smear on the floor and I'm still going strong; kinda
like sex.

Yeah, this could be the kick. All I gotta do is say the
words.

"I wish...."


~end~
9/17/02